Mayshula

Behavior like his is a cycle. Things are o k for a while, then you do something to piss him off (never his fault for choosing to be pissed of for something you said or did - because nothing is ever his fault. Then when you leave or threaten to leave, he is all sorry and buys you presents or flowers and says his rotten response will never happen again. Then he wants you to prove to him that you still love him, usually in some degrading way to put you in your place. Then things are smooth again for a while as long as he gets want he wants from you.......then you go and piss him off again (in his alternate reality) and the cycle starts over.
So, do not listen to the whining and crying, and get your locks and telephone number changed. If he comes to harrass you at work or at a family or friend's house or threatens you in any way.....it is time from a restraining order. Just practicul advice just in case your situation goes there. It took me three times to get it right before I found a relationship with balance.
If you were nearby, I would come over and give you a hug. Sometimes we just get tired of being strong, and need some shoulders to lean on.

Hugs to you, breaking up is never easy. Especially when you still have feelings for the person.

It doesn't sound like love to me. Dependency, settling, companionship, but not love. If you can see yourself in five years doing the same thing you are doing now what would you tell yourself?

Cloths shopping I can wait to buy off the rack

*Being 345lbs at 27 and my ginocologist told me there is nothing wrong with u u just are too fat and if u continue this way u will die soon! I know direct but I needed it!
*Losing 120lbs gaining 60 a few months later losing 80 lbs again gaining 20 once more I was done dieting as extreme I was doing it for 5 years I wanted to enjoy life not just exercise and diet every single day and avoiding social life because it would get me out of my diet.
*feeling rejected even for people I love and know they love me
Now I'm 32 years old I got my sleeve done 3 months ago I have lost 50+lbs and feel great at 182lbs I still have a way to go but it was the best decision I could of make to give myself a second chance to live and this time in a healthier way!

*Being 345lbs at 27 and my ginocologist told me there is nothing wrong with u u just are too fat and if u continue this way u will die soon! I know direct but I needed it!
*Losing 120lbs gaining 60 a few months later losing 80 lbs again gaining 20 once more I was done dieting as extreme I was doing it for 5 years I wanted to enjoy life not just exercise and diet every single day and avoiding social life because it would get me out of my diet.
*feeling rejected even for people I love and know they love me
Now I'm 32 years old I got my sleeve done 3 months ago I have lost 50+lbs and feel great at 182lbs I still have a way to go but it was the best decision I could of make to give myself a second chance to live and this time in a healthier way!

51 and feeling great! Best decision I have made in my life!

*Being 345lbs at 27 and my ginocologist told me there is nothing wrong with u u just are too fat and if u continue this way u will die soon! I know direct but I needed it!
*Losing 120lbs gaining 60 a few months later losing 80 lbs again gaining 20 once more I was done dieting as extreme I was doing it for 5 years I wanted to enjoy life not just exercise and diet every single day and avoiding social life because it would get me out of my diet.
*feeling rejected even for people I love and know they love me
Now I'm 32 years old I got my sleeve done 3 months ago I have lost 50+lbs and feel great at 182lbs I still have a way to go but it was the best decision I could of make to give myself a second chance to live and this time in a healthier way!

*Being 345lbs at 27 and my ginocologist told me there is nothing wrong with u u just are too fat and if u continue this way u will die soon! I know direct but I needed it!
*Losing 120lbs gaining 60 a few months later losing 80 lbs again gaining 20 once more I was done dieting as extreme I was doing it for 5 years I wanted to enjoy life not just exercise and diet every single day and avoiding social life because it would get me out of my diet.
*feeling rejected even for people I love and know they love me
Now I'm 32 years old I got my sleeve done 3 months ago I have lost 50+lbs and feel great at 182lbs I still have a way to go but it was the best decision I could of make to give myself a second chance to live and this time in a healthier way!

No way! I actually went on a bike ride with my son today!!! I doubt I looked good doing it but it has been years- like probably 15 since I found myself on a bike. Felt amazing doing it too. It was an amazing workout and such a good way to spend time with my 6 year old. When I think about why I had the surgery done, I cannot come up with a better return on the money, time, pain...etc... than what I experienced today.

Your not being fair to your wife! She didnt get the tool that you did. Show her some respect and treat her kindly. If she wants the surgery help her thru it. If she doesnt love her! She loved you when you were bigger!!!

Trust the process I get in crazy 2 week stalls but then I get a great loss in one week. Eat clean exercise and be patient which is the hardest thing for me to do! Good luck

51 and feeling great! Best decision I have made in my life!

51 and feeling great! Best decision I have made in my life!

First pic in 2006 at my heaviest of 241. Second pic with my fiancé at 231 in 2013. Last 2 pics taken today at 179, 3 months post op down 37lbs since May 8th and 52 all together! Feeling good. :-)

I'm not "hiding" anything.
No, I'm not embarrassed.
No, it's not a "secret".
I *DID* do this on my own. Yes, I had surgery, but no one weighed and measured my food, tracked my intake, ran my miles, danced my Zumba, lifted my weights, swam my miles, or did any of the other work I had to do to lose 110+ pounds last year. My surgery was a tool, a really super awesome tool that I will be forever grateful for, but I lost the weight, no one did it for me.
Why have I not made my surgery public knowledge? Because it's none of anyone's business. I have so many more things about me that are *MUCH* more interesting than my surgery. I am a successful business owner with 300+ women on my team, I am a mom of two gifted teens who I am very proud of, I am a volunteer for a women's shelter, I am a martial arts training instructor, I have a pet hedgehog who is as cranky as they come, I can move both of my eyes independently of the other, I can sing songs in sign language, I hate getting dirty but I have a new love for doing mud runs, I am white Water certified in kayaking, I can do the splits in all three directions, I've been married to the same man for 20 years and haven't attempted murder yet, I have a wicked sense of humor and can insult you five ways to Sunday and you'll thank me for it without even realizing it.
I have no desire to explain (to people who really aren't truly interested) what a sleeve is, how it works, why they really don't know someone whose mother's best friend's cousin's neighbor's brother's wife's dentist died from this surgery/gained back all their weight/was malnourished/has seizures/never lost a pound/etc, nor do I care to explain my portion size, justify why I eat what I eat, answer the question "are you allowed to eat that" every time I put something in my mouth...
I don't talk about my pooping habits with the general public or my menstrual cycle, my gall bladder attack, why I used to pee when I sneezed, my IUD, my sore boobs during PMS, etc. I don't talk about the size of my hubby's package, how often we do the do, where we conceived our children, what we fight about when we fight, how much money I make, how much money he makes, my IQ, what brand of handbag I carry most often, or how much I spend on shoes annually, either.
Any other questions?

I have been seeing many threads on here about people keeping their surgery a secret and it really puzzles me. I understand its a personal choice but whenever someone makes a post about it they never really give the reasoning behind it.
I personally do not hide it. If anyone is curious I gladly tell them and when the questions pop up I am pretty well versed as to the facts behind the surgery so I educate them. The way I look at it is if it wasnt for people being open about it I would have never looked into making one of the best decision I have ever made. To me, it seems that keeping that secret would be more harmful mentally than whatever benefit keeping it a secret would do.
So what are the reasons? Is it being embarrassed that you had to have the surgery to lose weight? Do you want people to think you did it on your own? Is it being afraid of "What if it doesnt work"? Or is it "I just like keeping secrets"
I am not judging anyone, I am just curious.

Please do not compare yourself with others in the weight loss department. Each person is different and has a different body chemistry so therefore no one loses at the same speed. what this does is make people feel like their surgery is not as successful as another's.
This is not a race this is a journey so please when you are replying to this thread. Don't look at others weight loss as a I failed because I only lost 35 lbs in 3 months.

Haha its great to read all this omg! It helps me so much...I am losing from my waist down but my boobs are not going anywhere they now seem extremely huge! I like my big boobs and have always embrace them but I'm getting disturbing looks and I hate that! I'm not losing pounds but inches and sizes for sure size 12 is getting big for me now and that makes me happy! We can do this people...stay strong!

I am finally in onederland! I am so happy I had no seen a 1 like the first number on my scale for 17 years it was a big deal for me. I cried for a few minutes cuz I couldn't believe it. I don't regret doing this surgery at all I have lost 36lbs so far this is my 7th week and I am already back at the gym just doing 45 mins on the elleptical I also ride my bike to my work and walk during lunch time some days, I'm having a hard time drinking my Water though. I'm in a low carb high Protein diet. I'm so ooo happy! I wish u all the best keep going and stay strong even if the scale doesn't move as fast as we want!

May 3rd 234 and now 198! I'm in onederland! Had have two stalls, scale is not moving but I'm losing inches. I am sooo happy with my journey!

I love this! Congrats to you all...and kudos to me for being right on track w my weight loss. BTW in #s I was 220 coming home from surgery and I'm 192 now! Can't wait to get to the 180s!! Loving my journey.

Make sure you are getting all of your Protein in that is the major key to the hair loss. I also started using Revita about 3 months post op. It doesn't stop Hair loss but it causes your hair follicles to grow hair quicker and begin growth in places that no longer would grow back. I figured if I was going to lose hair I might as well get it started growing back quicker. It worked great for me! You can order it on Amazon with the conditioner for about 35.00. Best of luck to you!

I told everybody at work that I had done it. I hate lying and once you start with 1 lie you feel you have yo keep going. I decided to tell them because I am the only one that can decide in my life and I had wanted this surgery for a long time! People will always judge you, but hey if you are happy don't worry about what other would say or think. You can also say you don't want to talk about personal stuff. What ever you decide to do do it because you want to not because you feel pressure and be happy with yourself! Good luck!

Months post op.
50 more pounds to go and I'll be happy. I'm loving this sleeve. I feel so happy.