Steviefan1

What you have been sharing about your personal life with us is one more of the first steps that, at least to me, shows you are serious about this. The other is that you are doing well on your pre-op diet. These are the stepping stones that lead you down the yellow brick road to success. I too, needed the support of my husband that just was not there. Not as opposed as your husband seems to be...however...I just went ahead and did it. Although I have a little more to go, I am close to 100 pounds down. My serious health issues have greatly improved or dissolved. I go to the YMCA and am doing Water aerobics, cardio, beginning Zumba, and am learning to swim. I walk every day. I FEEL FANTASTIC!!! and darlin' YOU WILL TOO. I predict that as the pounds melt away, so will his displeasing attitude. I will leave you with this: I feel like I have come out of a 40 year cocoon, and I am feeling SO alive at 55. ((hugs))

@@Miss Mac. OMG! I went to my surgeon's office to drop off some of my test results that her office assistant stated had not been received. When she saw me she loudly exclaimed " omg, why are you doing this, you are not even big." I smiled politely and told her I wanted to look more like her......she is about my height and about 100pound less than I am. She had no response. As for dealing with comments from others, don't have that issue as I told zero people. I refuse to have idiotic conversations about my journey. All my energy needs to be used to focus and get me through this not very easy process. People are beginning to notice my loss and ask if I'm losing weight. I say yes and keep it moving.

My husband was against it too, but didn't try to stop me. He's naturally thin and I think it just seemed unnatural and unnecessarily risky to him. I think he doesn't understand how risky obesity is. And like yours, he thought if I try harder I can do it without surgery. But that is just not realistic for 99% of us!
Maybe if you educate your husband on the realities of longterm weight loss success for morbidly obese people - and the risks of remaining there he might better understand that the risks associated with surgery are much lower than the risks associated with not doing it.
This page has a nice comparison of diets and WLS: http://www.realize.com/education
And here are some educational videos about obesity risks and WLS:http://www.realize.com/education/online-seminar
I hope that you choose what's best for you even if he never truly approves of it. I'm so glad I did!

I was in your exact position. My husband was convinced I could do it on my own. Yeah. Ok, in 20 years I hadn't, so how one earth was this time gonna be different? Sheesh. He's also the guy who thinks you can lose weight just by exercising harder. Yeah, at 300 lbs it's so easy to run. ha.
But when he saw how serious I was about the pre-surgical diet, he came around. My weight loss has brought a balance to our family and ALL of us has lost weight. We exercise as a family, I'm more energetic than ever before.
But honestly, I was going to get the surgery no matter what he said. I was mentally prepared to get a divorce or separation if it lead to that (glad it didn't!). All I could think of was THIS IS MY LIFE. THIS IS MY BODY. I ONLY GET ONE. I HAVE TO DO THIS BEFORE I END UP AT A POINT OF NO RETURN.
I definitely agree to have him go to a support group meeting with you. Is he scared? of losing you? of changing how things are now? of him having to change too? or just of the unknown? It can be a scary thing for everyone involved.

This is not a numbers game. This is about fighting a disease that is rampant and just now coming out into public view and that is food addiction and the mental, emotional and physically affects of it on a person if left unchecked and untreated.
This is your body and your life and he needs to understand that you are doing this for the entire well being of the family. There are a lot of reasons why a spouse may not support us but we have to push past it and do it for ourselves. And keep the reasons close to our hearts.
It could be fear of so many things. some of which he does not even know at this time. It might be a good idea to take him to your surgeons meetings with you so he can see the reality of it all.
For now you have our support and hopefully your hubby will come around! Wishing you all the best in your future!

Hi, Sonjajade
I too looked into WLS for awhile before finally making the decision to commit- partly because I had insurance that wouldn't cover WLS when I began looking and partly because of other major life events that always required me to put my wishes on the back burner. When I finally decided that it was truly the option for me, nothing was going to stop me- not being in the middle of a nasty divorce, not caring for my beloved mother or special needs daughter, I was finally ready to take care of me, and the sleeve surgery made all the sense in the world to me.
Now I'm almost 3 months out, 50 pounds down and happier than I've been in a long time for a lot of reasons. I'd try to talk to your husband to see what he is truly worried about regarding WLS, research it like crazy(this website is a great tool) and use the 6 months pre op to see if YOU are ready for this major lifestyle change. It has to feel right to you. Good luck no matter what decision you make.

I am 83 pounds down so far from my HW of 258. This week family visited from out of state, and one attraction everyone wanted to go to is Brook Green Gardens in SC. This is an enormous park with hundreds of huge statues and waterfalls and lush gardens and large nature trails with animals in their natural habitat. Well, we walked ALL over the whole place; it took 4 hours! I (and everyone else) was amazed that I could not only walk the trails, but keep right up with them as well! Not even sore the next day. This may not sound like much, but you are talking to a girl that WOULD NOT EVEN WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE MAIL BOX! Still beaming!

Kookichu
I hope all is going well in this amazing journey we are in . Today I had my visit and I was in complete awe . Thinking these past couple weeks I haven't lost a thing . Due to insurance I only needed three months to prepare myself . So I started my journey may 5 and had surgery Aug 7 like I said prior to you . Before surgery lost 16 lbs and it was such a struggle . One week post -op I lost 18 lbs and today two weeks later so five days shy of one month out . I lost 13 lbs. Total on this journey I have lost 47 lbs . Unbelievable I feel amazing . Dr.said today one more month of the Pepcid and then off . That's four meds I have stopped without trouble . It was rough at first with pain burning and all but nothing compares to the pure satisfaction as what I have experienced in just 4 short months . So well worth it and to top it off . I get to start soft foods . I am excited can you tell . So thankful to have responded to your post . Keep up the great work and glad we have corresponded . At 44 I feel the best I have ever felt in 22 plus years . Let the journey and adventure continue .

hopetochangemylife, glad you are finding comfort and peace through reading the accounts of others. Congratulations on the 32lbs you have already lost!! I am 8 months out and still face temptation of old eating habits. It gets easier, but it is always there. There are days my mind insists that it wants an entire pizza the way "it used to be" or I have found myself thinking "if I could just eat for one hour like I used to be able to..."
but, I will not and not only because I physically can't.
I am down to 180lbs. My butt is bony. I do have some loose skin but not so much that I am in psychological crisis. The best days are when I eat lightly and frequently. There are days where I cannot eat much (it all depends on bowel movements which are either full on or completely not). When feeling backed up, there literally becomes no room for more nutrition.
The up side is normal blood pressure, normal pulse, normal glucose, down to only taking thyroid medicine and prilosec (and necessary Vitamins and such), walking without misery, less need for sleep, shopping for clothes anywhere and everywhere, second glances...
NO regrets. May you find all the strength, hope, and inspiration you need to make it to where you want to be.
Whatever it takes!

What a beautiful weekend! I helped prepare and clean up after my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary celebration. I did force myself to eat a few bites of everything except the rigatoni.
After the dinner, I had company...mostly to pass off the tons of leftovers, but it turned into what I dare to call a "magical" night. You just never know what life is going to give you.
On Saturday morning, I still weighed 265. Last night, I was down to 260.
That is 50lbs since surgery and 74lbs since July...seems surreal.
The greatest gift is giving myself back to the life that was going on without me.
Whatever it takes!

October 2nd for me. Can I say I'm happy I won't be able to eat Halloween candy this year!

I am 83 pounds down so far from my HW of 258. This week family visited from out of state, and one attraction everyone wanted to go to is Brook Green Gardens in SC. This is an enormous park with hundreds of huge statues and waterfalls and lush gardens and large nature trails with animals in their natural habitat. Well, we walked ALL over the whole place; it took 4 hours! I (and everyone else) was amazed that I could not only walk the trails, but keep right up with them as well! Not even sore the next day. This may not sound like much, but you are talking to a girl that WOULD NOT EVEN WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE MAIL BOX! Still beaming!

Ok so I went to do my final nutrition apt and exercise appt this morning. Then afterwards I jaunted over to the Dr office for my second weigh in. At the end of my allotted 5 minutes. (Ok it was longer but feels like just 5) he says ok let's get this submitted to the insurance and get you scheduled.
Ok sounds normal right! But the surprise was that I thought I had another month of weigh ins! I looked at him confused and said huh. That's not right. Well they count the first visit as month one of the weigh in.
I had a holy crap moment this is going to happen really fast. It's like going to a vacation spot you always wanted to go.... London, Paris and you plan for it but it's just planning until you actually get on the plane and it's real. And it's gonna happen fast. Two weeks for ins approval. 10 days for pre op liquid diet and 10 days for any possible delays. Scheduled my surgery for November 4.
On a really funny and dry humor side I'm thinking if how much money I'm going to save during the holidays cause I'm not gorging on huge feasts.

I am 83 pounds down so far from my HW of 258. This week family visited from out of state, and one attraction everyone wanted to go to is Brook Green Gardens in SC. This is an enormous park with hundreds of huge statues and waterfalls and lush gardens and large nature trails with animals in their natural habitat. Well, we walked ALL over the whole place; it took 4 hours! I (and everyone else) was amazed that I could not only walk the trails, but keep right up with them as well! Not even sore the next day. This may not sound like much, but you are talking to a girl that WOULD NOT EVEN WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE MAIL BOX! Still beaming!

I am 83 pounds down so far from my HW of 258. This week family visited from out of state, and one attraction everyone wanted to go to is Brook Green Gardens in SC. This is an enormous park with hundreds of huge statues and waterfalls and lush gardens and large nature trails with animals in their natural habitat. Well, we walked ALL over the whole place; it took 4 hours! I (and everyone else) was amazed that I could not only walk the trails, but keep right up with them as well! Not even sore the next day. This may not sound like much, but you are talking to a girl that WOULD NOT EVEN WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE MAIL BOX! Still beaming!

I am 83 pounds down so far from my HW of 258. This week family visited from out of state, and one attraction everyone wanted to go to is Brook Green Gardens in SC. This is an enormous park with hundreds of huge statues and waterfalls and lush gardens and large nature trails with animals in their natural habitat. Well, we walked ALL over the whole place; it took 4 hours! I (and everyone else) was amazed that I could not only walk the trails, but keep right up with them as well! Not even sore the next day. This may not sound like much, but you are talking to a girl that WOULD NOT EVEN WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE MAIL BOX! Still beaming!

When talking to my nut about stalls she made a point that really hit home and made a lot of sense. For every pound of fat you lose your body also has to retract the blood vessels that were carrying nutrients. It takes time for your body to adjust and reroute those pathways. Give yourself and your body a break. It's working very hard right now. As long as you are following your plan, this plateau will pass. Good luck!

@@katesuccess I'm sorry, I had to chime in here with my 2 cents after reading both your posts. You are who you are, big or small should not matter, the point is that it matters to you but it is not the reason or an excuse for your husband to make you feel unloved and worse unappreciated.
What I took away from what you wrote is that you do an awful lot in this relationship and you do not get a return on your investment in a way that makes you feel worthy and validated. This is both your fault and your husbands fault. It is his fault for taking you for-granted and your fault for allowing him to take you for-granted because you feel badly about yourself and feel unworthy.
We teach people how to treat us, and if you are not loving yourself and appreciating yourself then you are showing your husband and everyone else around you that you don't require love and appreciation, and that you will do all you do anyway. So they take advantage because you basically have a sign up that says please make me feel badly I only feel worthy when you make me feel worthless.
Kate, you are beautiful and you deserve to be happy and treated like the amazing person that you are. 30 years is nothing to sneeze at, and your hubby should have at least gotten you a card and made you feel special on that day as he did the day he married you. That's what an anniversary is about. It's great to take a trip at a later date, but it is that date, that moment that marks that special moment for the two of you as no one else can.
Clear, honest and open communication is the key to a happy relationship. That is true for husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, daughters, sons, and most of all and more importantly with ourselves! Be honest with how you are feeling, take a deep breath, cry if you have to and then go and tell your husband how you feel and see if together you can do a little healing.
Best of luck to you on your upcoming surgery!!

Sounds like you should go on a three day girls' weekend with your besties instead of him.

Or punch him in the junk. Your choice.

In 2001, Yvonne McCarthy from Dallas, Texas, decided to get healthy. She hit the ground running and never looked back as she committed to weight loss surgery and learned to manage her food addiction. Her Open Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery 13 years ago helped Yvonne lose half of her body weight and keep it off for over a decade.


Yvonne has used her weight loss surgery experience to help others. She spends over 80 hours a week advocating for bariatric surgery patients as “Bariatric Girl.” She answers emails and posts on Facebook and from her blog to advocate for weight loss surgery and support people who are fighting obesity just like she did. That’s like working two full-time jobs – for free!
Being a great role model and giving back to the weight loss surgery community are what make Yvonne a true weight loss surgery hero. Don’t miss seeing Yvonne’s website or Bariatric Girl Facebook page, You Tube Channel and follow @BariatricGirl on Twitter! She’ll share her experience on bariatric surgery, and you’ll get to learn more about this talented woman’s photography and music!
First, read Yvonne McCarthy’s story and our interview with her here.
Finding Out How Heavy People Get Treated
Yvonne was a strong and athletic girl. That worked out well when it came time to pick teams at school, but her athletic abilities weren’t needed or appreciated elsewhere. Instead, she quickly learned that bigger girls aren’t welcomed. She says, “I figured out pretty young how being different made people treat you badly.” Puberty hit hard, and the dieting started in fourth grade.
Yvonne’s struggles got worse through college and beyond. She nearly turned anorexic during her college years, but “couldn’t keep it up.” After college, she “did every diet known to man” and each time, she gained back all the weight she’d lost plus a few pounds. Her highest recorded weight was 260 pounds.
Didn’t Listen When They Said Not to Have “Unrealistic Expectations”
Yvonne got gastric bypass in 2001. At that time, the bypass was only offered as an open surgery, not as a laparoscopic procedure. She went into surgery with the intention of hitting a “normal” body weight (BMI under 25), and didn’t listen when surgeons warned her not to have “unrealistic expectations.” She followed the prescribed diet and lost 130 pounds in the first 13 months! Yvonne now weighs exactly what she weighed in college over 40 years ago.
Never Going Back to “Prison”
Yvonne says she has a “really healthy memory of 30 years of obesity” and refuses “to return to that prison [that she] couldn’t break out from.” Post-op care wasn’t a standard part of care in 2001, and she didn’t see another post-op until three years later! She just stuck to the diet because she thought she had to, and she hasn’t strayed more than five pounds from her goal weight!
“I assumed that you lost the weight and “IF” you regained that you should fix it while it’s small. When I attended my first weight loss surgery event everyone asked me how I kept it off. I literally didn’t know any better.”
By that time, she’d developed the good habits that she maintains today.
Learning to Manage an Addiction to Food
Some people eat to fill a void. Some eat out of boredom. Others eat for comfort, or to manage stress. Yvonne discovered that she ate to cope with feelings she didn’t want to have. She had a food addiction. She says,
“I was fortunate that I chose to work on my head just as much. I am passionate about the acknowledgement of the existence of food addiction and when I admitted I was an addict, I was able to take steps to work on the root problems that fueled my addiction.
I don’t know how many years ago I started doing this but today I eat very boring things and practically the same food every day. I can no longer have “sex in a plate” so my food has to be just like the fuel you put in your car.”
No More Junk Food
The days of eating junk food are over for Yvonne. She’s not comfortable eating it for fear that she’ll fuel her addiction and regain the weight. “
I can’t eat just one so I quit craving sugar and junk food because I quit eating it completely. I haven’t had cake, pie, Cookies, candy etc. in 13 years and I don’t even remember what it tastes like. I feel very strongly that if you wish to lose a craving that you need to quit eating it.
“You wouldn’t give an alcoholic a sip of beer to get past the craving….why do we think that works with food? There are some people that can eat that stuff and maintain and I’m happy for them but I don’t know very many that can.”
The Need to Support Others
Yvonne didn’t just go against the grain by setting, achieving, and maintaining a goal of 130 pounds. She also didn’t know that the “only” way to lose weight and keep it off is to have a strong support system. So, she managed to succeed without the standard support system only because there were none and she was forced to figure out her “head” on her own.
Yvonne turned to the Obesity Help forums and her profile there transitioned into her blog. Over the years, she “saw the exact same patterns over and over and I felt a passion to help warn others of what was coming down the road.”
A Life Dedicated to Helping Others
She felt obligated to help others because her own “unique situation of not seeing another post-op for 3 years in the beginning saved me because if I had seen even one other person regain I would have thought, ‘I’m nobody special and if they can’t keep it off, I can’t either.’”
Bariatric Girl to the Rescue!
Yvonne has done the majority of her advocacy as “Bariatric Girl.” She maintains a website and blog, You Tube channel, and stays active on her Bariatric Girl Facebook page and Twitter. She answers emails and Facebook messages, and even takes phone calls to help others with their struggles and questions. Yvonne now spends over 80 hours a week as a volunteer with the goal of supporting others who are considering weight loss surgery or who are already weight loss surgery patients.
“Since the sun and the moon and the stars lined up for me I felt like I didn’t have the right to not help others by sharing the experiences of the thousands of people I’ve communicated with over the years.”
In addition, Yvonne has spoken at many events and volunteered for many organizations by taking photographs and videos at events. Her other advocacy work includes:
Former faculty with the Weight Loss Surgery Channel.
Host of the channel’s Weight Loss Surgery Journeys, a program that included interviews with recent bariatric surgery patients.
Member of Apollo Endosurgery Patient Executive Council.
Three-year service on the Board of Directors of Weight Loss Surgery Foundation of America, which advocates for bariatric surgery patients and provides grants to deserving patients who can’t afford weight loss surgery on their own.

Every weight loss surgery patient and candidate wants to hear success stories. These stories are sources of hope because they’re about people who used to feel hopeless and out of control, but who found weight loss surgery as a solution. Yvonne was able to use the gastric bypass surgery as a tool to learn to manage her food addiction and turn over a new leaf.
Yvonne is more than just a story, though. She gives her knowledge, love, and support to others who are struggling with their weight and who are weight loss surgery patients. It’s rare to find someone as giving and dedicated as Yvonne is, and everyone whose lives she has touched is grateful.

I completely agree with you Ms Roster tail.

I am 83 pounds down so far from my HW of 258. This week family visited from out of state, and one attraction everyone wanted to go to is Brook Green Gardens in SC. This is an enormous park with hundreds of huge statues and waterfalls and lush gardens and large nature trails with animals in their natural habitat. Well, we walked ALL over the whole place; it took 4 hours! I (and everyone else) was amazed that I could not only walk the trails, but keep right up with them as well! Not even sore the next day. This may not sound like much, but you are talking to a girl that WOULD NOT EVEN WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE MAIL BOX! Still beaming!

Use her bitterness to motivate you!
One of my favorites..."I want to inspire people. I want someone to look at me and say, “because of you I didn’t give up!”
By the way...what the heck's a "feck"?!?!

My SIL is the same way. We were always dieting buddies and she had loads of fun making fun of another friend who was constantly losing and gaining. The last time she really spoke to me was when she was trash talking this friend. I asked her if she spoke of me this way when I failed another diet. Totally pissed her off.
She has no idea I had surgery and we went without seeing each other for about six months after. She went from gloating about being a size smaller than me to outweighing me by 100+ pounds. Whoooooops!
Even better? Her aunt is always on her to lose weight and now uses me as an example. Snort!
I love how much she hates me.

Had my surgery in April 2013 and my life is unrecognisable from then until now. My mind is unrecognisable never mind my body, lol. I am happy and nothing in life is a problem...
Luckily for me that's what keeps me smiling when an acquaintance repeatedly tells mutual friends she is just waiting for me to "pile the weight back on".
Hell will be freezing over before I give her the satisfaction of seeing me gain a pound. But what a sad life she must have if taking pleasure in waiting for someone to fail is the highlight of her life.
The old me would have fretted about whether she might have a point. The new me says "feck her". And if she ever says it to my face, that's the gist of what I will say to her. Not very sophisticated - but I think it would be very effective in shutting her up once and for all!