Basketball Mom

Thanks for that post USGAnn2014!! Great information and also some of the same things I've heard and currently experiencing. I reached goal 10 mo post op (March 2015) and then lost another 7 since then even though I was supposed to be in maintenance mode. Mentally, I do not think I can be in the maintenance mode. Like others, I've been in the weight loss mode for 20 years and I just don't know any other way to live. I miss my scale rewards, I miss the comments people would make during my weight loss, but both are gone and I haven't figured out a way to live without them. I still get on that darn scale about every other day despite knowing I shouldn't. I still drink a shake every morning and eat like I did during the weight loss phase. I can hold more food though so my turkey burgers and chicken breast portions have just increased. My trainer has me doing less cardio and more weight training to reduce my fat percentage. Its working, but slowly. She is attempting to help me change my goals to body fat percentage instead of BMI and scale rewards, but I'm just not quite there yet. Little by little I'm learning to live the "skinny person's" life but its harder than I thought!! I'm happy being thin, don't get me wrong, I just didn't expect the mental part to be so hard! And why is it that there are days I look in the mirror and think, ick...there is still fat person looking back at me???!!!! Not something I expected. Maybe some day I will learn to live/accept I'm on maintenance. I am so afraid to gain it back that I'm just not there yet.
Congrats to everyone at goal or close to it!

Thanks for that post USGAnn2014!! Great information and also some of the same things I've heard and currently experiencing. I reached goal 10 mo post op (March 2015) and then lost another 7 since then even though I was supposed to be in maintenance mode. Mentally, I do not think I can be in the maintenance mode. Like others, I've been in the weight loss mode for 20 years and I just don't know any other way to live. I miss my scale rewards, I miss the comments people would make during my weight loss, but both are gone and I haven't figured out a way to live without them. I still get on that darn scale about every other day despite knowing I shouldn't. I still drink a shake every morning and eat like I did during the weight loss phase. I can hold more food though so my turkey burgers and chicken breast portions have just increased. My trainer has me doing less cardio and more weight training to reduce my fat percentage. Its working, but slowly. She is attempting to help me change my goals to body fat percentage instead of BMI and scale rewards, but I'm just not quite there yet. Little by little I'm learning to live the "skinny person's" life but its harder than I thought!! I'm happy being thin, don't get me wrong, I just didn't expect the mental part to be so hard! And why is it that there are days I look in the mirror and think, ick...there is still fat person looking back at me???!!!! Not something I expected. Maybe some day I will learn to live/accept I'm on maintenance. I am so afraid to gain it back that I'm just not there yet.
Congrats to everyone at goal or close to it!

Well, once again, I am the freak in the crowd. For me, maintenance has been boring and wonderful! I reached goal around this time last year and continued to lose another 10 pounds. I've maintained my lowest weight (with a small bounce range) for almost 10 months. But besides rough counting my Protein and Water amounts in my head each day, I never tracked or measured anything, so the transition between losing and maintaining was no big deal.
I'm also one of those "I had surgery so I would never have to diet again" loonies. I am committed 110% to being successful with my VSG, but I'm also not willing to go against what's in my nature to do. I know I would fail (and be unhappy) if I tried. Following a regimented diet plan, using MFP, going to the gym, running 5K's, etc. are just not "me". The main changes I made in conjunction with surgery were to simply make healthy food choices and drink a lot less alcohol.
The other difference I've noticed with me compared to a lot of posts I read is that I never made that big of deal about my goal weight. I didn't really perceive of reaching it as an end point. I knew being a WLS patient was a forever thing, not just a losing thing. Maybe that's why I never felt the need to seek a new "goal" to stay motivated. I'm just happy to be the size I am, feel as great as I do, do all the physical activities that I can and simply eat like a "normal" thin person. That's all the motivation I need.....That and an occasional glance at my before pictures.
I hope you all find what works for you for long term success. (And that my way continues to work for me)

Thank you for sharing, making the mental shift is very hard. I am so scared the thin person I see in the mirror will disappear one day...... but everyday is a new lesson and a new Journey. Thank you all for sharing and helping me to know I am not alone.

Thank you for starting this topic, @@jenn1! And @@VSGAnn2014, I think your shrink may have hit the nail on the head. At least for those who actually make it to goal. I wonder what he'd say about those who stop short of goal? I've maintained below my goal for nearly two months so far, and quite frankly, I'm not eating THAT differently than before. Except that I eat Safeway's quinoa tabouleh a couple of times a week, and a little brown rice or sweet potato from time to time. For my birthday dinner, I ate two or three small bites of dessert, which I never would have done during the weight loss phase. But for the most part, I'm still eating Protein and some veggies. I still get on the scale every morning, and I think that helps keep me motivated. But I've found myself exercising less, rather than more. I used to be a meaty guy, but now at 5'6", I'm really kind of tiny. My wife and daughter don't like me to be so bony, so I really need to start working on building muscle mass to pad my ribs and shoulders. So that will have to be my next motivation. A little harder to quantify than scale victories, but helpful nonetheless. And yes, the compliments are becoming fewer and fewer. Of course, that's as it should be. But losing all that positive attention sure leaves a motivational vacuum, doesn't it? Okay, this thread has helped already – I'm determined to get my bony butt back to the gym!!! How about you?!!

Thanks for that post USGAnn2014!! Great information and also some of the same things I've heard and currently experiencing. I reached goal 10 mo post op (March 2015) and then lost another 7 since then even though I was supposed to be in maintenance mode. Mentally, I do not think I can be in the maintenance mode. Like others, I've been in the weight loss mode for 20 years and I just don't know any other way to live. I miss my scale rewards, I miss the comments people would make during my weight loss, but both are gone and I haven't figured out a way to live without them. I still get on that darn scale about every other day despite knowing I shouldn't. I still drink a shake every morning and eat like I did during the weight loss phase. I can hold more food though so my turkey burgers and chicken breast portions have just increased. My trainer has me doing less cardio and more weight training to reduce my fat percentage. Its working, but slowly. She is attempting to help me change my goals to body fat percentage instead of BMI and scale rewards, but I'm just not quite there yet. Little by little I'm learning to live the "skinny person's" life but its harder than I thought!! I'm happy being thin, don't get me wrong, I just didn't expect the mental part to be so hard! And why is it that there are days I look in the mirror and think, ick...there is still fat person looking back at me???!!!! Not something I expected. Maybe some day I will learn to live/accept I'm on maintenance. I am so afraid to gain it back that I'm just not there yet.
Congrats to everyone at goal or close to it!

I hit my new normal at 12 months. Didn't really have a goal, more of an I knew it when I'd get there and I did. BMI of 22 body fat % of 18. I have been working on finding maintenance for six months now.
Like the others I was never a ketosis person. I was probably in and out at certain points but it was never a goal, I ate fruit all along and some good carbs (no bread rice white potato).
I def had to add it calories to stop losing. I eat more small meals during the day. Went from 4-5 to 6-8, but my "meal" is very small--Greek yogurt w fruit, turkey and cheese roll ups, Peanut Butter and celery, tuna w mayo and green onions, beef Jerky, a kind bar, a Quest bar, half a cup of oatmeal w half scoop of Protein powder, half a turkey burger patty w/mustard and avocado, etc.
I also run, a lot. Marathon next weekend. I do yoga 2-3 times a week. So I need my calories.
I aim for good clean choices 80% of the time and the other 20% I chose what I like (yeah a cookie or a few French fries or popcorn, whatever). Then I don't feel deprived. I feel normal.
It's working for me so far!

Okay, so here we are at (or slightly below) our goal weight. Now what? We've been existing on Protein and green veggies for a long time, but now we need (or want) to stop losing, stabilize our weight, and start maintaining. So many questions come to mind, but let's start with these: If we just keep eating the same way, will our bodies find their "set point" weight and remain there, or will we continue to lose until we're too thin? If we need to add some variety (uh... carbs) back into the picture, which ones are a good idea and which are a bad idea. I mean, some choices are obvious: good = quinoa, barley, oatmeal, brown rice, whole wheat Pasta, and sweet potatoes. And bad = white bread, white rice, white Pasta, white potatoes, and anything containing refined sugar, right? But what else should we think about? What about corn and peas? What else works or doesn't work? As long as we stayed in ketosis, fat and calories didn't seem to have much of an effect on our weight loss. But now, if we knock ourselves out of ketosis by adding in more carbs, will those fat calories start to work against us and cause weight gain? In other words, if we've been eating tons of nuts, cheese, and butter and still losing, if we keep eating them the same way in maintenance will they start causing weight gain? The tricky (but wonderful) part of this is our permanent restriction. How do we make room for new foods, while still taking in enough Protein? Eventually we do start to get more hungry. What do we do about an increasing appetite that makes us want to eat between meals? Who's been there, who's there now, and do you have any tips for the maintenance newbies?
Thanks, and congratulations to everyone who is beginning or succeeding in maintenance!!!
Rog

To the OP's issue -- finding new goals that interest and motivate us -- and to the other issue mentioned above about the seduction of continuing to lose weight, either out of habit or obsession ....
Yes. Uh-huh. Me, too. Amen!
I'm now 4 pounds below goal. And trying hard (at least some of the time) to stop losing weight. My avowed new goals are similar to others' -- reduce my body fat / increase my lean body mass, get stronger, faster, leaner (but not lighter), etc.
The pattern that I'm following now (may have to shake this up) is to eat 1,400 calories during the week (with equal calories from Protein, carbs and fats) and then eat 1,700-2,000 on the weekends.
I'm still using MFP to plan and track all my menus / food intake. I expect to do that most of the time to not let this "get away from me." My nutritionist and exercise consultant and I think that my maintenance calories will be around 1,600 - 1,700 at my current exercise levels. We shall see what happens.
On the regain issues ... my shrink works with a number of bariatric patients and has seen many people go through this process. Back in January (over four months ago) I asked him, "What issues do you see patients struggling with who regain weight? And by that I don't mean that they're eating too much. I'm really asking what's going on inside them that leads them to regain?"
After thinking a moment, he said: "What I mostly see is that they're struggling to find new reasons and new motivations to focus on their weight and fitness.
"After they hit their goal weights, many of the rewards they got while losing weight go away. They're no longer motivated by seeing the scale move down. After a while, their family and friends get used to what they look like and stop commenting on their weight loss or weight. Even people who were their strongest supporters during the weight loss phase no longer offer supportive comments. And when this positive reinforcement disappears, that has a negative effect on the patients.
"So then they must find new goals and new motivations to maintain their weight and to be fit. And for some folks that's not easy."
So that's one shrink's brief observations about the cause of WLS patients' weight regain. Maybe that will ring some bells for other readers.

I totally understand how you feel. I've been very mission oriented for almost 20 months...lose weight, workout, eat right, get on the scale, lose weight, workout, eat right, get on the scale...lol, that is my life. Now though I'm technically at a point where I can maintain but I don't really want to shift out of the orientation toward losing weight because I'm afraid I'll end up fat again. Knock on wood I haven't had a super hard time maintaining between 126-129, but I feel like if I can just hit 118 or 119 then I have even more leeway. I understand what it's like to feel like you don't have a goal anymore and I also feel that odd empty feeling. Now what am I going to obsess about?

Hey Maintainers.... How about we use this thread to share restaurant ideas for meals that fit into the maintenance world. I guess by that, I mean meals that may be a little higher in carbs, but still won't push us onto a slippery slope. Some of my favorites are fajitas without the tortillas, kung pao chicken without the rice and egg rolls, Thai dishes without the noodles, and this OMG dish I just ran across at Panera.....
Panera's Lentil Quinoa Bowl with Chicken
Chicken raised without antibiotics, organic quinoa and organic brown rice, lentil blend, Tomato sofrito, fresh kale and spinach with a lemon wheel in our umami soy-miso broth.< /div> 390 Calories; 9g Total Fat; 1370mg Sodium; 48g Total Carb; 8g Fiber; 33g Protein Are you kidding me? Quinoa, lentils, kale, spinach, and chicken in a miso broth? That's 390 calories of ridiculously healthy food! This is exactly the kind of meal the "old me" wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole. But now I find it pretty darned tasty. And I feel so freakin' virtuous afterwards that I just can't wait to get on the scale the next morning!

Good to hear from all the May sleevers. Weight loss has slowed "a lot!" Im sure it's my fault as I have ebb having alcohol regularly. I still work out at least 3x a week, avoid carbs, and NO soda. But, I know that my weight loss would be better if I would just stay on track. Unfortunately, I am still a regular Watson with a life that involves not being on a diet 24/7. Still working at it though, SW 205, CW 153....

I love hearing about my fellow May 2014 sleevers but I'm sorry that you are having serious issues, @storytotell. I hope your doctor will be able to help you manage your nutritional challenges.
My news is very positive. I made my surgeon's goal at almost exactly 7 months out. Since then, I have continued to lose at an even faster pace. At 128 lbs., I'm now closing in on my personal goal of 125. My real challenge now is going to be maintaining my weight loss.
I haven't had my next appointment with my surgeon, but my labs from November were all excellent so I'm hoping that will continue.

Yes, let it all go!! It felt so good to clean out my closet. I've been doing it a little at a time. Every time I go down a size the bigger size is purged!! It feels good, I actually like to look at myself in the mirror and like the way my clothes fit. There is NO going back for me. Skinny is SO much better. I'm not hanging on to any piece of clothing that is too big. I have pictures to remind me of where I was and that is enough for me. You will feel so much better. We have an awesome tool for the rest of our lives!! Use it and enjoy it:)
Congrats to you all!!!

Yes, let it all go!! It felt so good to clean out my closet. I've been doing it a little at a time. Every time I go down a size the bigger size is purged!! It feels good, I actually like to look at myself in the mirror and like the way my clothes fit. There is NO going back for me. Skinny is SO much better. I'm not hanging on to any piece of clothing that is too big. I have pictures to remind me of where I was and that is enough for me. You will feel so much better. We have an awesome tool for the rest of our lives!! Use it and enjoy it:)
Congrats to you all!!!

I had the same fear - Until I got rid of all the 2 and 3x's....except the 3x robe I wore the day of surgery. I keep that in my gym bag for when I get out of the shower to remind myself how large I actually was.
What a glorious day it was when I looked at the empty closet and new I was going to fill it with L and XL and then clean it out again at some point. Let it all go....

I was sleeved on 5/13/14 - 11 weeks ago - and down 35 lbs as of today. Its coming off slower than most people, but I did start out with a BMI of 36, so I was told I would lose slower and thats OK. Eating out sucks because I can still only eat about 4 oz of food and most of that is Protein so I don't get all my fruits and veggies in every day because of it and I still have a very hard time eating 1200 calories a day which I'll be discussing at my dr's appointment in 2 weeks. Still struggle with getting 64 oz of Water in every day because i get full so quickly...sipping is not doing it for me...still not able to get all that Water in. Regardless, I'm still losing and any loss is a good loss. Glad to hear you all are doing well!! Even at 35 lbs I'm still only down from an 18 to a 16, can't figure that one out, but hey, its still smaller than I was:) Keep in touch everyone!!

In my first stall. Surgery was 3 weeks, 2 days ago and I haven't lost anything in 8 days. Not that its a huge/long stall, but I'm so early in my weight loss I was shocked I'm already stalled. What broke your stalls?

Just after Easter, I posted this photo of my morning ‘snack’ of carrots, celery jelly Beans and chocolate eggs with a caption, “Does this make sense to anyone?” The responses were funny, truthful, and understanding. Some quickly identified the beans and eggs as Protein and together with the carrots and celery some said that made a very healthy snack! Others noted that there were so few, it didn’t matter. One commented,


Just after Easter, I posted this photo of my morning ‘snack’ of carrots, celery jelly beans and chocolate eggs with a caption, “Does this make sense to anyone?” The responses were funny, truthful, and understanding. Some quickly identified the beans and eggs as protein and together with the carrots and celery some said that made a very healthy snack! Others noted that there were so few, it didn’t matter. One commented, “Living on the edge – just don’t overdo it!” Yes, I laughed out loud.
And don’t we all have times when we live on the edge, test fate, and throw caution to the wind? I suppose we do. I just always wonder why. Why do we do what we do, when we know what we know? For myself, sugar is a real challenge for me and something I need to avoid (see Sugar Free Me! article) Yet, still I ate the jelly beans and chocolate eggs on a plate with vegetables, as if that would make it ok, or that the vegetables would counter act the sugar. Yeah, right. Knowing that so many can relate, I thought I would give a shot at perhaps a few reasons why I think we do what we do when we know what we know.
We Want To Feel Normal – Sometimes we simply don’t’ want to have to worry about it! We are under the impression that eating whatever one wants is ‘normal.’ It might appear that our thin friends and relatives can, but it always comes down to calories in- calories out; for everyone! We are normal and like most people will always need to be careful and mindful about our choices, but sometimes, we just want our actions to have no consequences. (But they do)
Others Do It. In support groups, sometimes patients share how they are able to get away with eating “forbidden foods” and how they are still doing great with their weight loss. Well, more often than not I have found that these people are either ‘honeymooners’ or their metabolism is different than mine or they are great exercisers. Eating what others eat hasn’t worked well for most of us. We each need to know for ourselves EXACTLY what our own bodies need – and what works and what doesn’t work for us to maintain our weight loss goals.
Reckless Abandon – My favorite definition of reckless abandon is: “to abandon all sense of responsibility or consequence.” Sometimes we do because we are either too busy to pay attention, or too stressed to care. It is unfortunate that all too often our lives are out of control and when we are too busy, we put ourselves last! The commitment we have made to ourselves must be strong enough to endure ‘come what may’ we must stay focused on our Success Habits. No matter what! It is too easy to get out of control and off track and find ourselves somewhere we swore we would never be again.
A Little Won’t Hurt – That may be true for some but honestly, this is one of my greatest challenges. Some people can do just a little, but for others like me, have trouble stopping at just a little. It’s not that I binge eat or eat too much at once, it’s just that once I have a little, my body starts to crave more, and more and soon I am a slave to my food choices day after day. For me, a little does hurt.
Will I make the choice to eat jelly beans & chocolate again? Absolutely! Will I enjoy it? Yes! Will I stop, and get back to my routine habits as soon as possible? Yes! Why? Because I know what I know.

Hi May 2014 Sleevers!
I love to see you here. My surgery was May 17, 2011, so I always fill a kindred spirit with the May sleevers!
It's been almost three years, but I still remember the last month before surgery. After I got my date I was so nervous! I used that nervous energy to clean house, pay bills in advance, stock up on non-perishables, get down my too small clothes and go through them, take care of appts. like getting my nails done, hair colored, dental appts, taking the dog to the vet for shots, and buying stuff for post op. And I stocked up on books and movies for when I was recovering. I bought myself a cute robe, a couple of nighties, a food scale, small spoons and forks, and tiny bowls. I also practiced chewing a lot, sipping slowly, and I gave up coffee.
I had a pre-op plan that I followed pretty closely, but I did have one splurge day with cocktails and food because I knew my program didn't allow cocktails for at least six months.
Surgery was pretty uneventful and I came home the following day, but I did have a undiagnosed hernia, which was repaired during surgery.
After surgery, I was really tired and sore. More than many others; everyone's recovery is different. I took the liquid loritab for the first 10 days or so, lowering the dose to once per day by around day 8 and then tapering off to tylenol. I wore stretchy pants for the first month. When I first came home from the hospital, I weighed about 16 lbs. more because of the IV fluids, but it all came off in the first week.
I also found out I was lactose intolerant. Not everyone gets that, but it's pretty common early out.
I hit goal weight on March 25, 2012, about nine months post-op. I've been maintaining goal within 5 lbs. since then. My blood pressure dropped enough that I was offf all meds for a few months, but it slowly crept back up and I now take medicine again, although not as much as before. I also no longer take cholesterol medication. My hair did thin beginning in month 4, but by about 18 months out, it was thick all the way to end again. I was cleared for coffee at three months, and the occasional drink at 6 months. For me, WLS surgery has been a life changer. I love life at goal. I wish the best for each of you! Lynda

Couldn't have said it better myself! Our perspective is a lot alike!

All people meet it at some point in their weight loss journey. It might come after you experience complications from surgery, or when you travel for vacation, or when you are unusually stressed at work. It might even come when you least expect it, when your diet and weight loss have been going smoothly for months. “It” is the dreaded plateau.


How Do You Know When You Hit a Plateau?
Simply enough, a plateau is when you stop losing weight even though you want to. It’s not just a day or two without weight loss. It’s a period of a few weeks or more when you keep trying to lose weight, but the scale does not budge. You think you are doing everything you can and should be doing to lose weight, but still you do not see results. That is a plateau. It can be frustrating and discouraging and seem to be unfair.
Stay Positive
Plateaus can be maddening, but the absolute worst thing you can do during a plateau is to give up. If you decide that your diet is not worth the effort, you are almost certainly going to gain weight. Going back to your old, pre-surgery diet habits, taking oversized portions, and eating high-fat, high-sugary foods will not just make you gain weight. These bad habits can erase your health gains. Worse, they could cause some of the weight loss surgery complications that you already know about, such as the following:
Stretching of the sleeve in vertical sleeve gastrectomy
Dumping syndrome in gastric bypass
Esophagitis with the adjustable gastric band (lap-band)
Feeling nauseous or having diarrhea

Another reason to stay positive is to keep up your motivation to continue all of the other healthy behaviors in your lifestyle. Don’t fall into the trap of “all-or-nothing,” in which you decide to give up all of your healthy efforts just because your weight loss isn’t quite what you want it to be. These include:
Taking your daily Vitamin and mineral supplements
Getting enough Protein and fluids each day
Following your regularly exercise routine

It Could Be Worse
And it will be worse if you give up. It may sound strange, but you can stay positive by thinking about how much better your weight is now than where it could be if you gave up trying. If your careful diet is not leading to the weight loss you had hoped for, it is still preventing weight gain. If you give up, you will gain weight, and probably be pretty disappointed in yourself.
Measure Success in Other Ways
Another way to stay positive is to stop focusing on the scale. Find other ways to measure your progress. Tracking your body measurements, for example, can let you know that you are shrinking and building muscle even if your total weight is not decreasing right now.
Tracking behaviors instead of measurements is another strategy. For example, you assess your success according to whether you eat well, such as hitting your protein goals or sticking to your planned menu. Other successful behaviors to be proud of yourself for are planning and preparing meals ahead of time and making sure you drink enough fluids at times other than meal times.
Be Honest and Go Back to the Basics
“Why me?”
That’s a natural question when you hit a plateau, but most people don’t ask it seriously. However, if you think seriously about what is causing the plateau and how you can fix it, this question can actually help you break through the barrier and get back to losing weight.
In many cases, you can figure out “why me” by asking yourself these questions.
“Am I logging every single bite that goes into my mouth?”
“Am I following the meal plan my nutritionist or surgeon gave me?”
“Am I measuring – not eyeballing – all of the foods I eat?”
“Am I exercising as much as I am supposed to be?”
“Am I getting in my protein each day?”
“Have I been too busy or preoccupied to plan my meals and Snacks in advance?”

If you answer these questions honestly, you might discover that you have slipped up and are not keeping up your good habits quite as well as you thought you had. Go back to the basics of meal planning and nutritious eating, and you are almost sure to see the scale move again within weeks.
You’re in Charge!
Plateaus are frustrating and nobody wants to experience them at some point, but almost everyone does. These steps can help you when you notice that you are in a plateau.
Stay positive and keep up your healthy behaviors.
Focus on other measures of success besides the scale.
Assess your diet honestly.
Make any necessary changes.

You can get over your plateau, and you will be stronger for it! Just be patient and do what you know is right for your health.

I GOT MY SURGERY DATE FOR MAY 12TH!!!
I am so excited! My two week pre-op diet doesn't start until April 28th but I have already made the decision to start a mild diet and eat smaller portions. I'm hoping that if I start eating smaller portions now then I wont be as hungry during the pre-op diet. I purchased a food scale to measure the amount of food that I eat and I also purchased smaller plates and cups. I'm going to begin hitting the gym at least three days a week and stop munching in front of the tv. I'm also going to start chewing each bite 20-25 times and not drinking 30mins before or after a meal. My book 'The Emotional First Aid Kit: Life after bariatric surgery' has a million great suggestions for before, during, and after surgery. I recommend this book to everyone that is thinking about or preparing for a gastric surgery.

The latest research is estimating that 75% of over eating comes from emotional eating. Identifying the trap of emotional eating and having the specific steps to escape are essential in learning how to maintain your weight loss.


The Emotional Eating Trap:
Many of us focus our weight loss plans on diet and exercise only; we have no awareness, plan, or tools to work through our emotions which may be contributing to Snacks, binges, or over-sized portions. We get excited. We have our new bariatric plan and exercise routine in place and we are feeling great about it. Then BAM, out of nowhere we get an intense urge or impulse to eat a variety of foods that are not on our new meal plan. At the drop of a dime your feelings have instantly changed. In this very moment you are being seduced by a “thought-feeling” state. At this very moment your automatic reaction is to escape the “perceived bad feeling” which many of us are unaware of at the moment it is happening.
Escaping the Trap:
1. Identify the impulse to emotionally eat by asking the question: “Am I physically Hungry?” You will realize you are not physically hungry most of the time.
2. Change your emotional state by doing a quick meditation
Meditation:
1. Close your eyes and begin to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
2. Think of something you appreciate or you are grateful for. As you think of this person or thing focus your breathing through your heart; breathing in and out. Focus all of your thoughts to this feeling of being grateful for three to five breaths.
3. Now think of something you love about yourself. It can be a physical body part or it can be a personality trait. Continue to focus all your thoughts on something you love about yourself for three to five breaths, focusing on breathing that feeling in and out through your heart.
4. Now think of one kind act someone has done for you. Again as you focus on this thought for three to five breaths, breathe the feelings in and out through your heart.
This meditation only takes a few minutes but will instantly change your feelings or at least neutralize them. This is a plan of self-empowerment that will allow you to escape the “bad feelings” by redirecting your feelings instead of avoiding them by over eating.
If you are interested in not getting caught in the overeating trap again, set up a schedule to do this meditation a few times throughout the day. The more you do this meditation the more you will strengthen your ability to self-regulate. The most important factor in learning how to maintain your weight loss after surgery is being consistent with identifying the impulse to over eat and following through with the meditation.

Confidence is a turn-on.
Arrogance is a turn-off.
We, the Post Op and the Doc, discuss RECOVERY all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. Why? Because we believe in it and know the healing power it brings.


We’ve never really talked specifically about "confidence" and "arrogance" per se, but we talk about narcissism and selfishness and how destructive they are to our Recovery from Obesity. That makes it entirely understandable that many recovery "newbies" could easily confuse the two.
If a person comes from (a perceived place of) “nothing” into a big, new life of potential “everything,” the pendulum can (and often does) overcompensate (swings wildly in the other direction). In other words, if you start from a place where you’re thinking you have little value (perhaps based on your weight) – it is sometimes the case that to people appear to be … overvaluing themselves (think a posted selfie … or two or three… each day for a solid year). Is either of those extremes a healthy place to be… or could it be that they may actually represent the same issue?
There is a continuum on which most “issues” can be placed. Think a straight line with a far left side, a center, and a far right side (sounds like politics, right?)! On that continuum we are talking about at the moment, there is a line of unhealthy to healthy behaviors. Think of feeling insignificant on the far left of the line, feeling confident in the middle, and feeling arrogance on the extreme right end of the line. In other words, sometimes when a person goes from a place of feeling insignificant (in this case, perhaps related to being obese), sometimes they "overshoot" the goal of having confidence and end up acting "arrogant."
And this is true for many other “issues” we could put on that imaginary line. Think “completely independent/I don’t need anyone” as being on the far left, healthy independence being in the center and “totally dependent on others” as being on the far right end.
Here’s the deal: both the far left and the far right “issue” actually represent the same thing … an unhealthy extreme… of the same problem. Think about it. A person who feels/acts terribly insignificant AND a person who feels/acts arrogant are both acting out the same issue… feelings of poor self-esteem. The healthy place to be on a continuum of healthy self-esteem is in the middle… feeling/acting confident.
It truly is often the case that people swing from one end of the extreme to the other. It can look very different, but to those who understand this tendency of human behavior… it makes perfect sense. Balance lies in the middle of extremes. In this case, confidence is the healthy place of balance between feeling and acting insignificant and feeling and acting arrogant.
In the example of someone who acts like they don’t need anyone else in their life, whether for companionship or ask assistance from on one of the scale to the person who is so “needy” or dependent on the other, the issue is the same – dependency. On one end is the person who refuses to acknowledge the need for depending on others at times. On the other end is the person who can’t seem to think for themselves, go anywhere alone, or be alone for five minutes. The healthy place of balance is in the middle – being someone who has healthy dependency… can manage on their own at times and knows they need others, as well.
In recovery, the goal is to allow the pendulum to settle, rather than swing wildly, and arrive at the center of the continuum! (Hmmm…pendulums and continuums…who knew?)
A great way to encourage balance is to listen to trusted friends who are willing to tell you things you might not want to hear. And…get ready to say "Ouch!" because it often hurts…
Fortunately, if you are open to considering the possibility that your trusted friends might be right, you open yourself to the possibility of health and peace of mind in recovery. Doesn't that seem like a healthy trade-off? A little hurt for a lot of healing?
If you were to place yourself on that continuum of self-worth/self-value, where do you think you'd be? No judgment -- Remember, AWARENESS and ACCEPTANCE are critical to recovery, so if you don't admit stuff, you can't change it.