elmar1964

After struggling with my weight throughout my life, I thought I had finally achieved success at age 42. When I turned 40 I decided I was going to give weight loss my strongest effort and after 4 years of continuous diet and exercise I lost over 100 lbs. I worked through every plateau and kept forging along until I felt "fabulous". I never made it to the, so called, "ideal body weight" for my height, but I felt GOOD!!. I felt agile, light, strong, confident. I was so proud of myself that I achieved the weight loss success the [i]"right way."[/i] I managed to keep it off for about 8 years. I thought I had truly found the "missing link" to weight loss success.
Then slowly, just as slowly as it came off, it began to creep back on. At first I wasn't concerned because I knew I could manage it, whenever I got tired of eating. Then, [i]"life got in the way"[/i], family issues, uncertainties at work , unsuccessful relationship contributed to my out-of-control downward spiral. The more my world unraveled, the more I isolated and ate. Pretty soon my size 10 pants were put away, then size 12, then size 14. Once I barely fit in a size 16, denial set-in (big-time). My pants were so tight I could barely breath. I wondered when were the seams of my pants going to give way. I prayed it wouldn't happen at work. I knew it was time to move up to a size 18, but [i]"I REFUSE TO BUY A LARGER SIZE...NO, NO, NO!!!" [/i] "I can turn this around" I said to myself every step of the way, but instead I isolated and ate more. Every time I stepped on the scale and the number was higher than the last time, I would get angry with myself. How could I let this happen. Today I am only a few pounds away from where I was where I started originally. How demoralizing is that! I has taken me about 2 years to gain back almost all the weight it took me over 4 years to lose.
Finally, one day, I surrendered. I realized, [i]My struggle is futile[/i]. I decided to explore the possibility of bariatric surgery. I attended informational sessions, at several hospitals. I talked with friends that had the procedure. Surgery is a serious procedure and I do not take it lightly. I began the bariatric surgery process in August and by October I had completed and fulfilled all insurance requirements. Yet, I was still unsure. I began the pre-op medically supervised diet and did relatively well. I have finally come to terms with this procedure. At my last visit I was been given February 5th as a tentative date for surgery. Yet, I still wonder everyday, is it the best move?, or should I simply put every effort to doing it all again.