CoffeeGrinDR

Hi to all Jan sleevers, My surgery date is 1/16/14 in NJ. It will be a revision from lap band to sleeve. Can't wait!!
dolly

When I read the original post on this thread I thought, wow, do you get it. I have to think we each, in our own way, understand the depths and lasting impact of some wounds we have experienced early on.
I grew up in an abusive household and I've done a lot of work with a therapist to get through anger issues but I haven't resolved my weight problems.
I've gone through periods of losing. I have a cycle. I lose weight, I feel better, I meet someone, I get "comfortable", I gain weight, I get upset, I feel worse, I gain weight, the relationship gets rocky, I gain weight, I feel worse, I go through a break up. Repeat.
I'm successful in my career but I have no doubt that I have faced "fat" prejudice in job interviews or with colleagues. I have no doubt that it has held me back in living my life; I have spent so much time getting out of potentially embarrassing situations its what I've lived my life knowing and excelling at: avoiding living.
But when you are the weight I am you worry, you stress, you know that you might not fit in the chair, you worry that you'll bring the wrong seat belt extension; you know it will wind you to have to walk up the hill for the sightseeing, you avoid beach vacations, you would love to sky dive or ride horseback or even run, but you can't; you try to get to meetings early because you worry about having to squeeze into a row for a seat; you don't like being out of breath just from going up two floors with your colleagues when you walk back from lunch; you live in a state where people ski most of the year and you have no ski weekend stories because the thought of even walking in snow is exhausting.
It is so tiring, so exhausting not living.
And so when it is quiet and lonely but safe you are happy but not quite, so you grab that box of swiss rolls and the sugar and the pleasant set of movies make you forget about all the painful moments of being so aware of being the biggest one in the room but being invisible. But the temporary reprieve keeps us caught up where we are.
I don't think I've wrapped my mind around what my life looks like "thin" it's more of: what is my life like? I have no idea. I have been on the sidelines. Yes, I got places, I do things, but everything is always buried in these extra 130 pounds and it is tiring. I've lived in three different countries, I've traveled around the world, I go out and yet I do so always aware of my size.
So, it's time to start thinking differently. Or rather, to stop thinking "fat" and start thinking "worthy" or maybe just to not have to plan everything, control the environment, avoid embarrassment. It's not a secret but we never talk about it. It's the most obvious thing but it creates so many walls that make us invisible.
I'm choosing to live. I think I am afraid of what that will bring. No more sidelines. And there will still be difficult days and tough times and lonely Sunday evenings. And then what do I do? Without the food to soothe and the weight to blame, what does my narrative become?
It's time to start a new story of my life...

When I read the original post on this thread I thought, wow, do you get it. I have to think we each, in our own way, understand the depths and lasting impact of some wounds we have experienced early on.
I grew up in an abusive household and I've done a lot of work with a therapist to get through anger issues but I haven't resolved my weight problems.
I've gone through periods of losing. I have a cycle. I lose weight, I feel better, I meet someone, I get "comfortable", I gain weight, I get upset, I feel worse, I gain weight, the relationship gets rocky, I gain weight, I feel worse, I go through a break up. Repeat.
I'm successful in my career but I have no doubt that I have faced "fat" prejudice in job interviews or with colleagues. I have no doubt that it has held me back in living my life; I have spent so much time getting out of potentially embarrassing situations its what I've lived my life knowing and excelling at: avoiding living.
But when you are the weight I am you worry, you stress, you know that you might not fit in the chair, you worry that you'll bring the wrong seat belt extension; you know it will wind you to have to walk up the hill for the sightseeing, you avoid beach vacations, you would love to sky dive or ride horseback or even run, but you can't; you try to get to meetings early because you worry about having to squeeze into a row for a seat; you don't like being out of breath just from going up two floors with your colleagues when you walk back from lunch; you live in a state where people ski most of the year and you have no ski weekend stories because the thought of even walking in snow is exhausting.
It is so tiring, so exhausting not living.
And so when it is quiet and lonely but safe you are happy but not quite, so you grab that box of swiss rolls and the sugar and the pleasant set of movies make you forget about all the painful moments of being so aware of being the biggest one in the room but being invisible. But the temporary reprieve keeps us caught up where we are.
I don't think I've wrapped my mind around what my life looks like "thin" it's more of: what is my life like? I have no idea. I have been on the sidelines. Yes, I got places, I do things, but everything is always buried in these extra 130 pounds and it is tiring. I've lived in three different countries, I've traveled around the world, I go out and yet I do so always aware of my size.
So, it's time to start thinking differently. Or rather, to stop thinking "fat" and start thinking "worthy" or maybe just to not have to plan everything, control the environment, avoid embarrassment. It's not a secret but we never talk about it. It's the most obvious thing but it creates so many walls that make us invisible.
I'm choosing to live. I think I am afraid of what that will bring. No more sidelines. And there will still be difficult days and tough times and lonely Sunday evenings. And then what do I do? Without the food to soothe and the weight to blame, what does my narrative become?
It's time to start a new story of my life...

When I read the original post on this thread I thought, wow, do you get it. I have to think we each, in our own way, understand the depths and lasting impact of some wounds we have experienced early on.
I grew up in an abusive household and I've done a lot of work with a therapist to get through anger issues but I haven't resolved my weight problems.
I've gone through periods of losing. I have a cycle. I lose weight, I feel better, I meet someone, I get "comfortable", I gain weight, I get upset, I feel worse, I gain weight, the relationship gets rocky, I gain weight, I feel worse, I go through a break up. Repeat.
I'm successful in my career but I have no doubt that I have faced "fat" prejudice in job interviews or with colleagues. I have no doubt that it has held me back in living my life; I have spent so much time getting out of potentially embarrassing situations its what I've lived my life knowing and excelling at: avoiding living.
But when you are the weight I am you worry, you stress, you know that you might not fit in the chair, you worry that you'll bring the wrong seat belt extension; you know it will wind you to have to walk up the hill for the sightseeing, you avoid beach vacations, you would love to sky dive or ride horseback or even run, but you can't; you try to get to meetings early because you worry about having to squeeze into a row for a seat; you don't like being out of breath just from going up two floors with your colleagues when you walk back from lunch; you live in a state where people ski most of the year and you have no ski weekend stories because the thought of even walking in snow is exhausting.
It is so tiring, so exhausting not living.
And so when it is quiet and lonely but safe you are happy but not quite, so you grab that box of swiss rolls and the sugar and the pleasant set of movies make you forget about all the painful moments of being so aware of being the biggest one in the room but being invisible. But the temporary reprieve keeps us caught up where we are.
I don't think I've wrapped my mind around what my life looks like "thin" it's more of: what is my life like? I have no idea. I have been on the sidelines. Yes, I got places, I do things, but everything is always buried in these extra 130 pounds and it is tiring. I've lived in three different countries, I've traveled around the world, I go out and yet I do so always aware of my size.
So, it's time to start thinking differently. Or rather, to stop thinking "fat" and start thinking "worthy" or maybe just to not have to plan everything, control the environment, avoid embarrassment. It's not a secret but we never talk about it. It's the most obvious thing but it creates so many walls that make us invisible.
I'm choosing to live. I think I am afraid of what that will bring. No more sidelines. And there will still be difficult days and tough times and lonely Sunday evenings. And then what do I do? Without the food to soothe and the weight to blame, what does my narrative become?
It's time to start a new story of my life...

Just wanted to report that my surgery went well. I am resting and walking around every once in a while. I do have heartburn but the dr prescribed nexium for me. I don't have an appetite. So eating Jello, Popsicles , and broth is not bad. Tomorrow I start with full liquids. To those who have not the surgery. Ask for a nausea patch if u are nauseated from anesthesia . Also a relaxer for those who are too anxious . I did not even remember when they rolled me into or My dr is very very thorough .i was in surgery for4 hours.. I was a lapband to sleeve patient. He took a lot of time in cleaning up my scar tissue. I thanked god when I opened my eyes in the recovery room and saw my hubby smiling at me. I.t is all good. And I an grateful for all the wonderful experiences in my life. This is surely one of them. I will thinking and praying for the remainder of the December sleevers who are about to embark on this journey.

I am a band to sleeve revision also. Had the band out in Oct after having it for 10 years, and am scheduled for my sleeve Jan 13th. I feel the exact same way that you do. What if THIS doesn't work either? I am self pay, so have invested a lot, first in the band, and now the sleeve.
I have looked at bypass and even sleeve with Duodenal switch. This last option is the "fail" safe one, but also the highest risk and long term issues with mal-absorption.
I think I am going to be ok after sleeve. I know there are ways to "eat around it" but I am determined not to get in that rut, and am also hoping the surgery does away with the hunger issues as it's supposed to.
Good luck with your journey.

Thanks! I'm mostly just looking for a drastic kick in the arse to get me some momentum. I am committed to the lifestyle changes but you all know what it's like when things move so slowly. With the awesome tool and my mindset (and an awesome gym and trainer) I feel like I am geared up for this in a way that means it isn't a question of if I will lose weight but HOW fast it will fall off.
Positive thinking!
My ex was really negative about WLS so I put off the sleeve even though the surgeon who removed my band said I may want to consider it. Got rid of the ex and am now making life choices for me.
I want to succeed at this so badly. Thanks for all your support!

I had the same fears...but that was 2 years and 160# ago. I am so glad I kept believing and got sleeved....changed my life.

I'm in Aurora. I was sleeved almost a year ago - down about 159
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well i've taken the plunge.... freaky and still the tiny voice in the back of my fat mind ( sounds like Golum) is whispering" NOOOOOOOO wes can do it alone, wes don't need shakes or sleeves, if we just shut up and TRY harder surely wes can do it without thses drastic measures......  "
plane ticktes and deposit paid X
ITS ON LIKE DONKY KONG baby LOL!!
SO any other Jan sleevers?
I'll be getting my sleeve from By Dr Ortiz at OCC
who are my surgery buddies?
look forward to meetingh you ladies and gentlemen very soon.
also got a great pre or pos op shake you wanna share?
thanks

I'm scheduled for Dec14 2013 with Dr Aceves! You made an excellent choice of surgeon! :0)