patrice1

I have been overweight since I was 12. I want to be healthy, yes. But I want to not be big, overweight, plus-sized... fat. I want to walk into a room and have people see the smile, the pretty clothes and not the fat. When I go for an interview I want people to see the suit, the poise, the knowledge and skill, not the weight. When I look in the mirror, when I look at pictures of myself (and yes, I let people take pictures, I learned a while ago, if I never let pictures be taken, then who am I hurting, because when I'm dead it won't be me crying because they can't remember my face, but mu kids) I want to see me, not the fat. When I go shopping, I want to find cute clothes and try them on and look amazing in them.
I won't miss getting toilet paper stuck in my hanging flappy stomach. I won't miss not feeling amorous be cause I feel like a whale. I won't miss spending all my time in the lazy pig chair because moving is getting more difficult. I won't miss seeing my kids eating junk food and knowing we haven't taught them any better even though we knew better. I won't miss the television. In fact, I won't miss my computer either.
I miss fun. I miss going outside (though I am not a shut in, I don't leave except to work or shop). I miss living my life. I miss having things fun to do besides 'going out to eat'.

Great question !!! I was banded Dec, 2011, weighed 225 lbs with a goal of 140 or so. I mostly wanted to get back to the old " me." Healthy, happy, and normal weight was what I wanted. I wanted to wear attactive , regular feminine clothes that looked good on me. I wanted to like what i saw in the mirror, and have others like what they saw too. I wanted to be a runner, even a slow one. I wanted to get rid of my digestive problems and the C-pap machine for sleep apnea, be able to walk, run , move without being tired or sore. Other then still working on the last 20 lbs, ive achieved those goals. Im happy, proud, grateful and blessed. Although I still struggle daily to watch my sweet tooth, nothing , and I mean NOTHING, taste as good as feeling good from the inside out does. I wish the same blessings on you .

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

I know that can be discouraging. I haven't had my surgery yet (getting the sleeve on June 20th) but there were speakers that came to our class who had the surgery and were all successful. They all said they hit a plateau like yours and they said their body was just getting used to it, somehow it had to re-calibrate, and sure enough, their weight loss suddenly kicked in again. They were telling us not to get discouraged when it happens. (Yeah, I know, easier said than done). You are eating really well on your meal plan and exercising, so I bet very soon, you'll see a big drop!

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

My surgery is scheduled for June 20th. I am very excited. Whenever I get nervous, I think about what I will not miss about being obese, and what I look forward to in my post-op life. I thought I would start a topic to see what others say about this, and give me even more inspiration. So...whether you have had the surgery or are still waiting for it, what is your answer here? Here are some of mine:
No longer having to pray I can fit in a chair in a restaurant, or that it will hold my weight. Feeling awkward when I have to squeeze around people or through tight spaces, like elevators or hallways or through crowded rooms of people. Praying the seatbelt will fit when flying, or trying to squeeze in a tiny seat. (I'll buy a First Class ticket just to have more room even though I can't always afford it). Sweating profusely every time I have to walk a few blocks, and being totally embarrassed. (This is particularly bad when walking to an off-site meeting at work, or walking to a happy hour or lunch and my skin is dripping and my hair a mess). My thighs rubbing together when I wear slacks and making a loud noise when I walk. My feet aching after walking or standing, and my ankles swelling and bruising, or my knees hurting. The judgments people sometimes make, or the judgments I make against myself. Spending tons of money on failed diets and other programs.... Spending tons of money on big clothes for work hat look like what my grandmother used to wear in the 1970s rather than something hip, professional and cool. Turning down social invitations because of my weight and feeling like I have nothing to wear or dreading rejection or stares (even if it is only a fear and not reality). Taking two showers on hot days because sweating makes me smell. My kids worrying about me because I am too heavy. Me worrying about me because I am too heavy. These are just a few; there are more. It's reality. And despite each one bearing some pain with it, it brought me to making new decisions for my health and wellbeing. So here's what I look forward to after WLS:
Hope Having a new tool that gives me a new boundary, new taste buds, and less hunger Being in shape again, being able to exercise without my feet swelling, and feeling the rush that comes from your body being healthy and fit. Sweating happens only during a hard workout! Being able to keep up with my kids (and my grandkids when they come) Riding a bike again Not being short of breath Feeling comfortable again in social situations Being happy with my appearance Smaller clothes so I can wear clothes that reflect who I am as a woman, rather than just finding something that fits my body and looks totally NOT me. Showing my knees again (they haven't seen the sun in 20 years, LOL). Having confidence in my appearance again. Continuing in therapy so I have a new mind as well as a new body. New beginnings! Can't wait to hear yours.

I know that can be discouraging. I haven't had my surgery yet (getting the sleeve on June 20th) but there were speakers that came to our class who had the surgery and were all successful. They all said they hit a plateau like yours and they said their body was just getting used to it, somehow it had to re-calibrate, and sure enough, their weight loss suddenly kicked in again. They were telling us not to get discouraged when it happens. (Yeah, I know, easier said than done). You are eating really well on your meal plan and exercising, so I bet very soon, you'll see a big drop!

Okie all you Junies.... Anyone who wants to add me as a friend, please feel free. Also, if you want to keep in touch via text or Facebook, send me a private message. I have seen the other post-op forums go quiet pretty quickly. If we want to stay in touch, to share success, share losses, share troubles and anything else...
Jennifer

Yes- mine is June 20th. Soooo excited! Yet, nervous too. What helps me with the fear though is the power of hope. I gave up after so many failures at losing weight. But I didn't realize how dead inside I felt from giving up. Sure, I know that my VSG won't solve all my problems. I have to work it. But the difference is - by analogy - the difference between having a boat to cross the river and trying to swim without one. Hope is a powerful thing!

Dear Sharon -
It is very painful to be rejected by someone you thought was your best friend. It adds pain upon the pain you already feel about your health and what, as you said, prompted you to take this step for your health. That is unfair of her. A true friend, even if they disagreed, would support your decision anyway. They would support your right to make your own choices. I know you already know this, but it bears repeating. What I see here is that she projected all her anger about the "politics" of being overweight on to you. She made this a "cause" rather than seeing your heart, and the difficulty and struggle it no doubt took for you to make this decision, and one that is right for you!
None of this violates some political code of ethics about fat acceptance. Of course we are beautiful and wonderful. But the weight threatens that because it threatens our health. For me, I have written that the larger I get, the less of me there is - of my life, my future, and my ability to enjoy the wonderful life I have been given.
She also did not do the research to learn about weight loss surgery and why it is being done. She would have realized that insurance companies would love to paint surgery as only cosmetic and not have to pay for it if in fact it were only cosmetic. Rather, it is a serious surgery that is only undertaken when the weight of an individual is threatening their life and survival. Let's put it bluntly, because that is what it is. I know that this is the reason I am getting the surgery, because my health and life, physically, mentally, and emotionally is impacted.
I know you have expressed the same. It takes courage for anyone to choose the surgery and no one does it lightly. I had to work through feeling like a failure because I had to resort to surgery when all other repeated attempts to lose weight failed. (I no longer think that, of course). Some people, who are ignorant of this path and don't take the time to educate themselves, think that it is the "easy way out." I had friends say to me,"If you have to exercise and eat small portions anyway, why don't you do it without the surgery?" Or another friend said, "I am just naturally disciplined," in her response to me, implying I am not and that's why I am resorting to this. However, they all are supporting me whether they agree with it or not. I see that most people see us through their own lens of who they are, and what they think - whether negative or positive. When things work out with this (and they will) no one will remember their critique, they will only see how healthy and happy I am. The results will speak for themselves, I don't have to. I also look at it as a way of "educating" those who don't understand the surgery or the reasons for it.
And I won't post much in response to your friend's arguments about eating disorders, except to say that weight loss surgery can be a viable tool in the treatment arsenal (in alignment with other therapeutic options) to help control eating disorders and food addictions, as well. Is it right for everyone? Of course not. Is surgery itself "imposing an eating disorder" as she said? Well, she's entitled to her opinion, but as a binge eater and compulsive overeater, I need the restriction my new stomach will give me if I get off track. I am also in therapy and will remain. Your friend may have her ideas on how to treat her own eating disorder, but to assume that her way is the only way to treat that is arrogant and ignorant.
Someday, your friend will see the results. Perhaps she may learn from your experience and become a better person and friend (learn some compassion for one thing, and stop projecting her own negativity on others). Some day, if she is a true friend, she will apologize for what she said. But regardless of what she does or does not do, you will know you made the right decision for you and it will more than pay off. We overweight people get a thick skin (no pun intended, lol) because people say a lot of insensitive things to us. I think we all use that skill we've acquired to toughen up with the amazing courage, hope, and positivity it takes to have the surgery, to bet on our future, to know that we are worth doing this - more than worth it. It is actually a step we take because we value ourselves, and not, as your friend accused, because we are vain, shallow, or think we are worthless being fat.
I am sorry for this long response, but I really felt for you on what you are going through. One of the things I have seen through the forums and on You Tube videos is the impact that this decision will have on relationships. People have said they moved away from relationships that no longer served them, or those that did not treat them well. I am already doing that, and you are too. I think that your friend's true colors are coming out, and saved you the trouble of ending it yourself later. We are all changing, but the regard and love that true friends have for each other does not change. For those that do, as your friend painfully showed, I am glad you are choosing yourself instead. Now that is a sign of healthy self-acceptance!
All the best to you, and to meeting so many new friends! You deserve friends like that, because that's who you are.
Patrice

Yes- mine is June 20th. Soooo excited! Yet, nervous too. What helps me with the fear though is the power of hope. I gave up after so many failures at losing weight. But I didn't realize how dead inside I felt from giving up. Sure, I know that my VSG won't solve all my problems. I have to work it. But the difference is - by analogy - the difference between having a boat to cross the river and trying to swim without one. Hope is a powerful thing!

Yes- mine is June 20th. Soooo excited! Yet, nervous too. What helps me with the fear though is the power of hope. I gave up after so many failures at losing weight. But I didn't realize how dead inside I felt from giving up. Sure, I know that my VSG won't solve all my problems. I have to work it. But the difference is - by analogy - the difference between having a boat to cross the river and trying to swim without one. Hope is a powerful thing!

My surgery is June 4th.... Six days to go!!! I'm so scared and nervous. It's real, it's life changing (yes, I did know that). Just all coming together faster than I imagined. So many unknowns... Anyone else feeling like this?

Queenie: me too - we have the same date. Very very excited!

Hi! I am having the sleeve, so all I need to take is the multi, Vitamin B-12, and Calcium. I take Vita-Fusion gummies because I suck at pills, always have. I won't be able to take them while I am on the liquid only phase post-op, but there's another option for me at that time. My NUT approved these, but there may be differences with other people's programs. I love them.

June 20th is going to be here before I know it ... it really helps just to think of so many of us going through this surgery at the same time. It is scary, but it is far more frightening for me to remain at this weight (and growing). I have been practicing with chewing my food more slowly, sipping Water, trying out various shakes .... a lot of what you all are doing. I did start the Vitamin regimen already. I am also watching You Tube videos. I am excited for me and for all of us.

Dear Sharon -
It is very painful to be rejected by someone you thought was your best friend. It adds pain upon the pain you already feel about your health and what, as you said, prompted you to take this step for your health. That is unfair of her. A true friend, even if they disagreed, would support your decision anyway. They would support your right to make your own choices. I know you already know this, but it bears repeating. What I see here is that she projected all her anger about the "politics" of being overweight on to you. She made this a "cause" rather than seeing your heart, and the difficulty and struggle it no doubt took for you to make this decision, and one that is right for you!
None of this violates some political code of ethics about fat acceptance. Of course we are beautiful and wonderful. But the weight threatens that because it threatens our health. For me, I have written that the larger I get, the less of me there is - of my life, my future, and my ability to enjoy the wonderful life I have been given.
She also did not do the research to learn about weight loss surgery and why it is being done. She would have realized that insurance companies would love to paint surgery as only cosmetic and not have to pay for it if in fact it were only cosmetic. Rather, it is a serious surgery that is only undertaken when the weight of an individual is threatening their life and survival. Let's put it bluntly, because that is what it is. I know that this is the reason I am getting the surgery, because my health and life, physically, mentally, and emotionally is impacted.
I know you have expressed the same. It takes courage for anyone to choose the surgery and no one does it lightly. I had to work through feeling like a failure because I had to resort to surgery when all other repeated attempts to lose weight failed. (I no longer think that, of course). Some people, who are ignorant of this path and don't take the time to educate themselves, think that it is the "easy way out." I had friends say to me,"If you have to exercise and eat small portions anyway, why don't you do it without the surgery?" Or another friend said, "I am just naturally disciplined," in her response to me, implying I am not and that's why I am resorting to this. However, they all are supporting me whether they agree with it or not. I see that most people see us through their own lens of who they are, and what they think - whether negative or positive. When things work out with this (and they will) no one will remember their critique, they will only see how healthy and happy I am. The results will speak for themselves, I don't have to. I also look at it as a way of "educating" those who don't understand the surgery or the reasons for it.
And I won't post much in response to your friend's arguments about eating disorders, except to say that weight loss surgery can be a viable tool in the treatment arsenal (in alignment with other therapeutic options) to help control eating disorders and food addictions, as well. Is it right for everyone? Of course not. Is surgery itself "imposing an eating disorder" as she said? Well, she's entitled to her opinion, but as a binge eater and compulsive overeater, I need the restriction my new stomach will give me if I get off track. I am also in therapy and will remain. Your friend may have her ideas on how to treat her own eating disorder, but to assume that her way is the only way to treat that is arrogant and ignorant.
Someday, your friend will see the results. Perhaps she may learn from your experience and become a better person and friend (learn some compassion for one thing, and stop projecting her own negativity on others). Some day, if she is a true friend, she will apologize for what she said. But regardless of what she does or does not do, you will know you made the right decision for you and it will more than pay off. We overweight people get a thick skin (no pun intended, lol) because people say a lot of insensitive things to us. I think we all use that skill we've acquired to toughen up with the amazing courage, hope, and positivity it takes to have the surgery, to bet on our future, to know that we are worth doing this - more than worth it. It is actually a step we take because we value ourselves, and not, as your friend accused, because we are vain, shallow, or think we are worthless being fat.
I am sorry for this long response, but I really felt for you on what you are going through. One of the things I have seen through the forums and on You Tube videos is the impact that this decision will have on relationships. People have said they moved away from relationships that no longer served them, or those that did not treat them well. I am already doing that, and you are too. I think that your friend's true colors are coming out, and saved you the trouble of ending it yourself later. We are all changing, but the regard and love that true friends have for each other does not change. For those that do, as your friend painfully showed, I am glad you are choosing yourself instead. Now that is a sign of healthy self-acceptance!
All the best to you, and to meeting so many new friends! You deserve friends like that, because that's who you are.
Patrice

Dear Sharon -
It is very painful to be rejected by someone you thought was your best friend. It adds pain upon the pain you already feel about your health and what, as you said, prompted you to take this step for your health. That is unfair of her. A true friend, even if they disagreed, would support your decision anyway. They would support your right to make your own choices. I know you already know this, but it bears repeating. What I see here is that she projected all her anger about the "politics" of being overweight on to you. She made this a "cause" rather than seeing your heart, and the difficulty and struggle it no doubt took for you to make this decision, and one that is right for you!
None of this violates some political code of ethics about fat acceptance. Of course we are beautiful and wonderful. But the weight threatens that because it threatens our health. For me, I have written that the larger I get, the less of me there is - of my life, my future, and my ability to enjoy the wonderful life I have been given.
She also did not do the research to learn about weight loss surgery and why it is being done. She would have realized that insurance companies would love to paint surgery as only cosmetic and not have to pay for it if in fact it were only cosmetic. Rather, it is a serious surgery that is only undertaken when the weight of an individual is threatening their life and survival. Let's put it bluntly, because that is what it is. I know that this is the reason I am getting the surgery, because my health and life, physically, mentally, and emotionally is impacted.
I know you have expressed the same. It takes courage for anyone to choose the surgery and no one does it lightly. I had to work through feeling like a failure because I had to resort to surgery when all other repeated attempts to lose weight failed. (I no longer think that, of course). Some people, who are ignorant of this path and don't take the time to educate themselves, think that it is the "easy way out." I had friends say to me,"If you have to exercise and eat small portions anyway, why don't you do it without the surgery?" Or another friend said, "I am just naturally disciplined," in her response to me, implying I am not and that's why I am resorting to this. However, they all are supporting me whether they agree with it or not. I see that most people see us through their own lens of who they are, and what they think - whether negative or positive. When things work out with this (and they will) no one will remember their critique, they will only see how healthy and happy I am. The results will speak for themselves, I don't have to. I also look at it as a way of "educating" those who don't understand the surgery or the reasons for it.
And I won't post much in response to your friend's arguments about eating disorders, except to say that weight loss surgery can be a viable tool in the treatment arsenal (in alignment with other therapeutic options) to help control eating disorders and food addictions, as well. Is it right for everyone? Of course not. Is surgery itself "imposing an eating disorder" as she said? Well, she's entitled to her opinion, but as a binge eater and compulsive overeater, I need the restriction my new stomach will give me if I get off track. I am also in therapy and will remain. Your friend may have her ideas on how to treat her own eating disorder, but to assume that her way is the only way to treat that is arrogant and ignorant.
Someday, your friend will see the results. Perhaps she may learn from your experience and become a better person and friend (learn some compassion for one thing, and stop projecting her own negativity on others). Some day, if she is a true friend, she will apologize for what she said. But regardless of what she does or does not do, you will know you made the right decision for you and it will more than pay off. We overweight people get a thick skin (no pun intended, lol) because people say a lot of insensitive things to us. I think we all use that skill we've acquired to toughen up with the amazing courage, hope, and positivity it takes to have the surgery, to bet on our future, to know that we are worth doing this - more than worth it. It is actually a step we take because we value ourselves, and not, as your friend accused, because we are vain, shallow, or think we are worthless being fat.
I am sorry for this long response, but I really felt for you on what you are going through. One of the things I have seen through the forums and on You Tube videos is the impact that this decision will have on relationships. People have said they moved away from relationships that no longer served them, or those that did not treat them well. I am already doing that, and you are too. I think that your friend's true colors are coming out, and saved you the trouble of ending it yourself later. We are all changing, but the regard and love that true friends have for each other does not change. For those that do, as your friend painfully showed, I am glad you are choosing yourself instead. Now that is a sign of healthy self-acceptance!
All the best to you, and to meeting so many new friends! You deserve friends like that, because that's who you are.
Patrice

June 20th is going to be here before I know it ... it really helps just to think of so many of us going through this surgery at the same time. It is scary, but it is far more frightening for me to remain at this weight (and growing). I have been practicing with chewing my food more slowly, sipping Water, trying out various shakes .... a lot of what you all are doing. I did start the Vitamin regimen already. I am also watching You Tube videos. I am excited for me and for all of us.