Folly

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

@@BigViffer
I still love ya, Dolly!

I have a wonderful consignment shop in my area where I have built wonderful relationships with the salespeople. They are the first ones to tell me whether something is a good size and more importantly, whether it really looks good on me! They have become my wardrobe coaches. As I shrink out of clothes, I return them to get credit on future purchases.

Just want to say, I'm not butthurt by the OP and I accept the gift. Thank you.

Just a few weeks out it's pretty normal to take little sips throughout the day and 2 or 3 bites of something several times a day. As you heal your stomach will relax a little bit and you'll be eating more substantial foods. You'll be spacing things out to 3 or 4 hours but the tiny meals 4 or 5 times a day are a fact of life for quite a while.

Hunger feels different for me than before WLS. It's extremely uncomfortable and becomes nauseating if I don't do something about fairly quickly. The good news is that I don't feel it very often through the day.

Hunger feels different for me than before WLS. It's extremely uncomfortable and becomes nauseating if I don't do something about fairly quickly. The good news is that I don't feel it very often through the day.

Hunger feels different for me than before WLS. It's extremely uncomfortable and becomes nauseating if I don't do something about fairly quickly. The good news is that I don't feel it very often through the day.

I have learned this lesson the hard way but I will say it took me a while and some money!
I now wait until my current size is slightly lose and then I buy pants one size down. They are very tight but I know when I drop 10 pounds they will fit me great.
Last week I was shocked when I went to try on a new packer sideline jacket. All the stuff I got in January I am swimming in including a brand New Jersey.
Ugh! Anyway, I figured I would need a large instead of an xl. I tried on the large, too big. I tried on the medium thinking it would be too small.
It fit perfect! Part of me was thinking maybe I should be thinking about a small but just could not get my head around that.
Same thing with Victoria's Secret yoga pants. I bought extra large because there is no way, I also bought larges. The xl are too big and the large is even slightly baggy.
I returned them both and ordered a medium.
By the way, I started in a 26 for tops and a 24 for bottoms. Wow! I am now in a 12 comfortably.

Hey sleevers, my first options class starts on 10/1/2015 in woodland hills and goes until 1/14/2016 (16 weeks due to holidays) and I would like to get my diet and weightloss plan on track asap. I heard they do the 10% required loss based on your eeight when you got the referral, or from your heaviest in 3 years. Quite frankly that is the same weight, but I want to make sure that anything I lose prior to class 1 will count towards that 10%. I always seem to get stuck at 30 pounds and then lose confidence and start to regain so I dont want to start to regain right when its time to graduate. I am currently 29 years old, 265 lbs, 5,3", and have 130-135 pounds to shed to get to my ideal weight range, so I need to loose a person (roughly half my weight).
A little about me, should you wish to take me on as a mentee. I am (according to my family) the most dedicated person they know when I set my mind to something, this is one of those things. I love planning things and excel is my best friend, I think this will help me track my progress and organize my diet and excersize, but I need your help knowing what to put in the spread sheets (what to eat, what workouts to do etc.) Until I learn how to choose the right foods as I get into the classes, I still need someone to tell me what to eat.
My excersize is somewhat limited due to a bad ankle, I had a compound tibia and fibula fracture, and now have a metal rod where the bone marrow was and a few screws holding me together. The bones are fully healed, but my ankle still gives me problems, and all this added weight is NOT helping at all.
Because of the weight I need to lose, I am concerned about loose skin, so if you have any budget friendly tips to give on products or things I can do to minimize it as I am pretty sure kaiser wont cover skin removal later on down the line, it would be greatly appreciated.
If you think we would be a good fit for mentor/mentee, please reach out, I could use sll the help I can get. Thanks in advance.

Reading stuff like this gives me the feeling someone took an excerpt from my journal and posted it...
Seriously though, you're not alone. Most people feel this way before and even after surgery. It does eventually get easier. You do have a say in the outcome, your choices are going to determine your success.
HUGS

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

I think it's more realistic to assume you'll be more comfortable with yourself and developing ways to deal with social situations (12 course meal - holy cow!). I've found people don't pay very much attention to what I'm not eating unless I draw attention to it. I found myself in restaurants constantly for a while there. I got into the habit of pushing food around and taking one bite of everything that looked good (read: good for me). My pouch still won't hold more than 4 - 6 ounces and I no longer give a fig about eating "normal" meals. This will get easier :-)

I still haven't hit a plateau - we have more control over this than you might think. Make sure you're eating enough so you don't send your body into conservation mode. A good NUT who understands this issue can help you avoid that trap. Over-restricting is one of those things that will bite you in the butt down the road.
The "stalls" that happen when you're making the correct choices are most often your body working in its own rhythm and nothing to worry about. The numbers people become elated or despairing over in the beginning aren't as important as the overall process. Calm down and do your best. :-)

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

Reading stuff like this gives me the feeling someone took an excerpt from my journal and posted it...
Seriously though, you're not alone. Most people feel this way before and even after surgery. It does eventually get easier. You do have a say in the outcome, your choices are going to determine your success.
HUGS

You should never be able to eat a "normal" meal by most people's standards. I was at Claim jumpers, a restaurant with serving sizes that i swear are for 3-4 people. I can't fathom a 12 course meal. However, I have spent time in France and other foodie cultures and they tend to just have a spoon or forkful of each course.
I am nearly 4 years out, i can eat quite a bit, I consciously choose to control my portions and am careful about food choices because I want to maintain my weight.
I understand the frustration - but the way WLS works is restricting your portions, making better choices, becoming more active etc.

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

I wasn't telling you a horror story to scare you or anyone else. I hope you find what you need to deal with the issues that are making this harder for you than it has to be. We have a lot of people in this place who certainly can relate - I know I can. It scares me every single time I see someone posting about not choosing (or able) to follow medical advice right after surgery. It's about more than weight loss/gain. It's serious and could turn a life into a statistic. I don't bash or scare people in general but this thread alarmed me and I want people who are new to WLS to understand the potential consequences right after surgery can be particularly grave.
Almost everyone here is willing to be a source of encouragement and support, even me, but this thread made me think of how sad it was when the friend I spoke of died. She, too, talked about it being so hard and cheating just a little... Maybe if someone had just told her outright, "YOU COULD DIE" she would have thought twice and talked to a therapist or the Dr or someone...
If I hurt your feelings I do humbly and deeply apologize. I wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose. If I can offer you support in any way please reach out to me.
Peace

I went to nutrition classes (mandatory for my surgery to be approved) with a nice young women who was at a similar weight and size to me. She was so pretty, smart, vivacious... I liked her a lot. Not long after surgery she went to a fast food chicken place and ruptured her sleeve eating mashed potatoes and gravy. She didn't seek help (shame? denial?) for over 24 hours. Well, someone sought help for her. She was found unconscious. I didn't go to her funeral.
I sometimes say pretty stern things to people when they talk about NOT following medical advice. I would rather hurt your feelings than read your obituary.
I'm just saying...
Peace

I think it's more realistic to assume you'll be more comfortable with yourself and developing ways to deal with social situations (12 course meal - holy cow!). I've found people don't pay very much attention to what I'm not eating unless I draw attention to it. I found myself in restaurants constantly for a while there. I got into the habit of pushing food around and taking one bite of everything that looked good (read: good for me). My pouch still won't hold more than 4 - 6 ounces and I no longer give a fig about eating "normal" meals. This will get easier :-)

@@gabito
LOL... I don't know if "controlled" is the word I would use. I think it's more accurate to think of it as a truce. The way I deal with it now wouldn't have worked in the beginning or even a year ago. It may become problematic in the future - my crystal ball broke and my husband won't buy me a new one so I really don't know. For now it works because I can stay on track and make good choices. My food issues come up when I obsess about what I MUST NOT or CANNOT have. They also come up when I'm not OK emotionally. food isn't my real enemy, it never was. Food/BED was a symptom of my inability to cope or be real with myself and others. If I'm ok emotionally food is a non-issue most of the time. The road to getting to this place was painful but worth it.

Reading stuff like this gives me the feeling someone took an excerpt from my journal and posted it...
Seriously though, you're not alone. Most people feel this way before and even after surgery. It does eventually get easier. You do have a say in the outcome, your choices are going to determine your success.
HUGS

I think it's more realistic to assume you'll be more comfortable with yourself and developing ways to deal with social situations (12 course meal - holy cow!). I've found people don't pay very much attention to what I'm not eating unless I draw attention to it. I found myself in restaurants constantly for a while there. I got into the habit of pushing food around and taking one bite of everything that looked good (read: good for me). My pouch still won't hold more than 4 - 6 ounces and I no longer give a fig about eating "normal" meals. This will get easier :-)

You know, bashing is bashing whether it's someone's opinion or behavior, when we slam them publicly we're only inviting controversy and argument, name-calling and general hatefulness. This is a public forum and everyone has a right to an opinion. It can be frustrating for people who are dealing with it in ways they feel are correct to constantly see others' seeming willfulness to insist on doing things known to possibly be harmful. The OP shouldn't be bashed but neither should anyone who gave an honest opinion, even if it seemed harsh or even unhelpful.
One of our greatest resources is each other and respectfulness is the obligation of everyone, even you and even me. I think it's f****ed up to hurt people with harsh and discouraging words but name calling is just as ugly. Let's give each other a little room and just ignore what is unhelpful. I don't think anyone had bad intentions.