Folly

I don't really consider any of my food choices "cheating". I still track everything I put in my mouth. I know what I need. It might help to think of your calorie goal as a budget. With my budget I have to buy so much Protein, so much Fiber, so much Calcium, so much (healthy) fat, etc... If I get everything I need and want something indulgent AND have enough left over I go ahead. Otherwise I have to do it another day. It works out that I can have a bite of anything I want but beyond that it has to be paid for... we all learn different ways of coping with the monster. That's one of mine.

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

@@BigViffer
I can usually get through punctuation mistakes, I certainly make enough of them. I sometimes get derailed and have to reread when I have to figure if the poster really meant "their", "there" or "they're". Pet peeves are using "your" and "you're" as the same word, "to" and "too" are also minor offenders but usually flow without much mental note.
I feel ya!
It's a mental exercise and keeps you sharp if you pick up on everything like that. It's too easy to go with the flow and begin to use text-speak or other forms of slang.
Most I see here are pretty nice though. Glad you're here too. :-)

Be careful about drinking faster than your stomach can empty... it can be quite painful (and dangerous). I would encourage you to take no more than a couple ounces at a time and be in the habit of sipping whenever you're not close to meal time.

@@gabito
LOL... I don't know if "controlled" is the word I would use. I think it's more accurate to think of it as a truce. The way I deal with it now wouldn't have worked in the beginning or even a year ago. It may become problematic in the future - my crystal ball broke and my husband won't buy me a new one so I really don't know. For now it works because I can stay on track and make good choices. My food issues come up when I obsess about what I MUST NOT or CANNOT have. They also come up when I'm not OK emotionally. food isn't my real enemy, it never was. Food/BED was a symptom of my inability to cope or be real with myself and others. If I'm ok emotionally food is a non-issue most of the time. The road to getting to this place was painful but worth it.

You know, bashing is bashing whether it's someone's opinion or behavior, when we slam them publicly we're only inviting controversy and argument, name-calling and general hatefulness. This is a public forum and everyone has a right to an opinion. It can be frustrating for people who are dealing with it in ways they feel are correct to constantly see others' seeming willfulness to insist on doing things known to possibly be harmful. The OP shouldn't be bashed but neither should anyone who gave an honest opinion, even if it seemed harsh or even unhelpful.
One of our greatest resources is each other and respectfulness is the obligation of everyone, even you and even me. I think it's f****ed up to hurt people with harsh and discouraging words but name calling is just as ugly. Let's give each other a little room and just ignore what is unhelpful. I don't think anyone had bad intentions.

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

I went to nutrition classes (mandatory for my surgery to be approved) with a nice young women who was at a similar weight and size to me. She was so pretty, smart, vivacious... I liked her a lot. Not long after surgery she went to a fast food chicken place and ruptured her sleeve eating mashed potatoes and gravy. She didn't seek help (shame? denial?) for over 24 hours. Well, someone sought help for her. She was found unconscious. I didn't go to her funeral.
I sometimes say pretty stern things to people when they talk about NOT following medical advice. I would rather hurt your feelings than read your obituary.
I'm just saying...
Peace

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

Reading everything written here makes me feel proud of all of you... and humbled. I'm so glad we have a place to talk about these things without people taking pot shots at us. :-)

@@gabito
LOL... I don't know if "controlled" is the word I would use. I think it's more accurate to think of it as a truce. The way I deal with it now wouldn't have worked in the beginning or even a year ago. It may become problematic in the future - my crystal ball broke and my husband won't buy me a new one so I really don't know. For now it works because I can stay on track and make good choices. My food issues come up when I obsess about what I MUST NOT or CANNOT have. They also come up when I'm not OK emotionally. food isn't my real enemy, it never was. Food/BED was a symptom of my inability to cope or be real with myself and others. If I'm ok emotionally food is a non-issue most of the time. The road to getting to this place was painful but worth it.

I don't really consider any of my food choices "cheating". I still track everything I put in my mouth. I know what I need. It might help to think of your calorie goal as a budget. With my budget I have to buy so much Protein, so much Fiber, so much Calcium, so much (healthy) fat, etc... If I get everything I need and want something indulgent AND have enough left over I go ahead. Otherwise I have to do it another day. It works out that I can have a bite of anything I want but beyond that it has to be paid for... we all learn different ways of coping with the monster. That's one of mine.

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

You know, bashing is bashing whether it's someone's opinion or behavior, when we slam them publicly we're only inviting controversy and argument, name-calling and general hatefulness. This is a public forum and everyone has a right to an opinion. It can be frustrating for people who are dealing with it in ways they feel are correct to constantly see others' seeming willfulness to insist on doing things known to possibly be harmful. The OP shouldn't be bashed but neither should anyone who gave an honest opinion, even if it seemed harsh or even unhelpful.
One of our greatest resources is each other and respectfulness is the obligation of everyone, even you and even me. I think it's f****ed up to hurt people with harsh and discouraging words but name calling is just as ugly. Let's give each other a little room and just ignore what is unhelpful. I don't think anyone had bad intentions.

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

@@Elode
My DR and I have went around and around over this issue. I was lucky enough to never have metabolic disorders even at my highest weight - it surprised the heck out of me when this started. It can be incorrectly diagnosed as A-Fib, surprisingly. I wore a monitor for two weeks when my symptoms presented. My Dr thought I would come back with A-fib but it turned out orthostatic hypotension is the culprit. We can't figure it out specifically (diet is good, labs come out good, electrolytes in balance, etc) but it's being attributed to my weight loss. I haven't figured out how to prevent symptoms but they are much, much worse when I'm thirsty or hungry.

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

Just a few weeks out it's pretty normal to take little sips throughout the day and 2 or 3 bites of something several times a day. As you heal your stomach will relax a little bit and you'll be eating more substantial foods. You'll be spacing things out to 3 or 4 hours but the tiny meals 4 or 5 times a day are a fact of life for quite a while.

One of the functions of the pre-op diet is to get you in a very good place nutritionally so you have reserves to support you through the first several weeks. Over months, no not enough and your health could suffer and you might need to address it with a good NUT. Over several weeks, you're OK. Whatever you do, please don't force anything. If you can tolerate it, I would encourage you to get Protein enriched waters (I think one I could stand was Isopure but there are lots on the market) so you can bolster the Protein intake while still getting enough to drink - killing two birds with one stone.

@@gabito
LOL... I don't know if "controlled" is the word I would use. I think it's more accurate to think of it as a truce. The way I deal with it now wouldn't have worked in the beginning or even a year ago. It may become problematic in the future - my crystal ball broke and my husband won't buy me a new one so I really don't know. For now it works because I can stay on track and make good choices. My food issues come up when I obsess about what I MUST NOT or CANNOT have. They also come up when I'm not OK emotionally. food isn't my real enemy, it never was. Food/BED was a symptom of my inability to cope or be real with myself and others. If I'm ok emotionally food is a non-issue most of the time. The road to getting to this place was painful but worth it.

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

I could barely walk for the first year or so - my weight was just too high and my joints/back too damaged. I still have never went to a class but I go do go to the gym twice a week. Today I did 35 minutes on the incline setting on the treadmill going very briskly. Almost needed oxygen but this is my commitment. Most of us eventually do give in and do something about getting physically fit. The weight loss stops being a passive process after a while.

It takes time to work up to it. I doubled up to increase my Protein. My first shake of the day I made with 1 scoop of Protein powder 26 gms Protein, 1 cup of Water and ½cup of greek yogurt (Fage 0%) 13gms protein. That started my day with over 30 gms of protein in one drink. I'd serve it over ice for a tiny bit more Water, and I counted those 8 ounce of water towards my fluids. It took me an hour to drink it in the beginning. lunch was the same deal. The nice thing was I had hit over 70gms of protein by 1 pm. I then just sipped on water until dinner. That first week if I was lucky I got though an entire 24 ounce water bottle. However counting the water in the Protein drinks, by the time I was done, I had gotten in 50 ounces of Fluid before dinner. I could take it easy at dinner. During the full liquid stage I would have half a cup of veg broth or non chunky Soup with a scoop of unflavored Protein Powder mixed in for another 26 gms of protein. Once I was on purees, I would have a ricotta bake, refried Beans topped with a bit of cheese or scrambled eggs. After dinner I just sipped on water for as long as I could stand it or I hit my 64 ounces. I needed my dinner to be savory and not sweet so it was important to have that Soup for dinner.

Thanks for the info. I'll keep that in mind. Please note...I could have spelled out EXACTLY what I meant but decided I wouldn't for the sake of your forum. You may want to contact the person who completely put this person down. We all have opinions and I gave mine.

As a host of this forum, I will remind you that personal attacks and name calling are forbidden. Please refrain from such behaviors. Thank you!