Folly

I read through most of that. It's hard to be with someone on this journey...we get a little self absorbed at times. The controlling stuff happens, too. He seems to be handling himself and his own needs in spite of you. I have to ask if you're projecting food, weight, sex and emotional issues of yours onto him? I don't think it's fair to comment on the play-by-play stuff of what happens to bring so many unhappy momemts between you two because your perspective may be different than mine but I will suggest you talk to someone in AlAnon. Perhaps you can get some perspective and distance (and autonomy) from the destructive/dysfunctional emotional mess if you stop trying to manage him, his weight and his food addiction.... maybe spend that energy on yours and see if that helps. Peace

You have a right to be comfortable. Insist or have a family member advocate for you... medications and proper positioning should relieve discomfort. Maybe they should take a closer look to make sure all truly is well.

It gets better. During the first weeks be very, very mindful of hydration, protein and supplements. You'll bounce back quicker, six months from now your body will thank you. Be well.

A cup of popcorn by weight is about half an ounce? You didn't eat as much as you think. Next time try air popped... at least it's a whole grain. Hunger is normal. Learning to listen to your body is weird at first. I still struggle with this, too.

I want to bring you a cup of tea and have a long, motherly, informative talk with you... just as soon as I can do so with a straight face. (Omg! LMAO!)

The last few months have been among the most personally difficult of my life. As I truly and finally let go of the romance with food I learned that food was never the drug or addiction I thought it was. Food was the distraction, the drug and the addiction was the obesity itself. I found separation and safety from the pain and trauma of my youth as well as the disappointments and fears of my adulthood in being surrounded by a wall of warm, numbing fat. No one could reach me there where I was trapped and unhealthy. I was so numb I wasn't really very unhappy, just existing. I have discovered all the stuff I denied, avoided, was dishonest about or refused to deal with on the way up to 449 lbs was waiting, compounding interest, to be dealt with on the way back down. Finally, starting to reach an equilibrium with emotions, relationships, boundaries, and all the good, bad and in between stuff that make me who I am. The conflicts and fears are still there but some days the joy and happiness wins. I hope people know going in that the greater the external transformation is, the more you have to work on the internal stuff. It isn't all a trip to the mall for new cthes folks. Peace

Good on you!

I suppose we all have this new self to get used to. The more drastic the change, the bigger the sticker shock. I find I'm so lost in the process sometimes that I forget that there are other things about me that are signficant to others. I used to identify myself as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, professional, dog owner, dry wit, sometimes author, oenophile, gourmet cook, lover, avid crocheter, rocker chick... lately it seems like I only identify with being a person who is losing weight. I'm still hitting milestones and they don't go unnoticed. My car used to be too small, now the steering wheel doesn't touch my tummy. I can sit in a booth at restaurants now. Etc, etc, etc. I'm ready to just be one with it all and get back to being me but it seems like I've lost the way. Any thoughts?

I'm finding the physical changes a little more drastic that I at first imagined. I'm struggling with this dismorphic meltdown stuff. I feel tiny. I reach for clothes hopelessly too large and my reflection is of a droopy-skinned large person. Aaaaaaah! Anyone else?

After the surgery, as you recover and start feeling (looking) better your husband may have to confront some of his insecurities while you're learning that you - weight = person who doesn't supress every negative emotion. It's a great journey for the most part. Don't worry too much, we'll all be here when you get back. (I sent you a private message) Peace

I'm a bit south of LA and am almost 7 months out. How's it going for you?

We'll all be here when you get back... :-)

Just recently started eating them without problems. Some tolerate salads much sooner. (I would caution anyone to try to add some lean meats to salads so they don't fill up before getting enough protein).

Don't worry about calories at this point. Fluids, Protein, suppliments,fluids, protein, suppliments (wash, rinse, repeat). You'll bounce back and be feeling better soon. Give yourself permission to rest even if...

I had to go through 12-weeks of weight loss/nutrition classes before surgery. Calm down, it will happen when it needs to happen. Get some sleep... use this time acquainting yourself with post-op nutrition needs and get your game face on... and breathe! :-)

Once a week works for me. My weight fluctuates slightly from day to day but I find invariably from one week to the next 3-6 lbs less than the week before... If I weighed every day it would drive me bananas. Others would go bananas if they had to go that long between weigh-ins. Do what works for your emotional needs.

Your doctor will want you to lose some weight before your surgery. Now would be a good time to explore the different ways to meet your dietary needs post surgery. Try different products, begin taking the supplements... You're going to find that once you recover from the actual procedure you still have the choice to eat garbage or healthy... just the quantities will be much less. After the first few months your weight loss will be based on your food choices and activity level. Instead of thinking of places to over-eat before surgery realize that after recovery you will most likely tolerate most foods in small quantities. Deprivation never has to be part of your journey. I still have some of my old favorites sometimes but instead enough to feed a small army I have a few bites and am satisfied. You'll most likely find this true for yourself. You're worth the effort :-)

Every procedure has risk. Is continuing with your current health/weight better than facing this risk? You know what's best for you but fear steals so much from people. Please don't let fear make your decisions for you.

http://www.bariatricadvantage.com/catalog/

Bariatric Advantage makes very good products. They have hot Soup mixes, Meal Replacement shakes and Protein shakes. They mix well with Water. milk, lite soymilk... they also do protein Snacks. A good resource before and after surgery.

I joined a gym about 10 days ago. I go swimming when I can't sleep. My timer is usually set for 30 minutes. I go 3 times a week and am working up to an hour and probably more days. The "fitness coordinator" asked me what my fitness goals are and I couldn't help but paraphrase one of my favorite comedians. "I am here to delay the onset and severity of the consequences of the last 25 years of my life". He wasn't amused but I made him write it down anyway. I'm making progress I suppose. I look like an alien naked but you know, whatever...

Everyone has a different recovery experience. My pain and discomfort lasted for about 4 months but this his highly unusual. Everything I ate or drank (in any quantity) was painful. It wasn't such a bad thing though. It reminded me to be mindful of everything I put in my mouth. I'm pain-free now and even though I insisted I regretted the (VSG) surgery, now on the other side of the pain I feel good and have no regrets. Most people who are carefully following the suggested diet plans tend to start feeling better within a week or two and can eat and drink without pain in appropriate quantities. The main thing is fluids, then Protein, then supplements. Hang in there, the hard part is over.

I've struggled with that as well. People who don't understand often view any kind of weight loss surgery as a cop out. My weight loss began May 1, 2013 and I had surgery on Sept 23, 2013. In that time frame I lost a lot of weight. Whenever it came up I would tend to defensively point out how much weight I lost before surgery - like I wanted credit for doing it "the right way" or something. There was an element of shame about it that made me uncomfortable with sharing. I think this was more about me feeling good about myself than anything. Now I find myself being a bit more reasonable about who I tell and who I do not tell. I usually share important things with people who are important to me and usually do not share important things with people who are not important to me. The public (co-workers, neighbors, friends of friends and causal acquaintances) has no need or right to know. With important people in my life we mutually share successes, failures, hopes, disappointments, medical conditions and important life events. There is no shame in doing what you need to do to live a better life. We all, however, have a right to privacy and to live without the unwanted opinions of others being forced upon us because tmi has been casually tossed about.

I found drinking warm vegetable broth and increasing Clear liquids very helpful. You get a lot of your hydration from foods. Sometimes "thirsty" can feel like "hungry" for those of us who have misused food for a long time. You're going to be hungry but increasing liquids may take the edge off until you adjust to the pre-op diet. Good luck to you!!!