HELP

What if I'm not sure if I can really do this?

I wish there were a checklist to tell me the truth about where I stand. Am I ready? What does ready feel like, does it feel this confused and unsure?

Yesterday I was given a surgery date at the end of July and I've been a little in shock. I keep wondering when did I decide to explore surgery? Is this really where my life is going? I have no choice, my body can't handle this weight anymore - so I am thrilled about all the pluses, but I am also thinking more about where I should have my last meals than I am about the seriousness of what lies before me. I'm not young, I am a woman in the New York area close to middle age - I should have this much, much more together - but I don't. I am so confused. How do I know if my head is where it needs to be, or is everyone's head a mess at this point? Will it all come together?

ANY thoughts, guidance or experiences would be very much appreciated. This is my first post on this site.

I think everyone is a mess lol. Its a lot of emotions. I was sleeved april 9 and believe me when I woke up I regretted it. But as the days went on I feel so much. Theres still obstacles.im on liquid diet and missing being able to eat. But I know its just for a short time. Im so happy I got my sleeve. Good luck on your journey

HELP

What if I'm not sure if I can really do this?

I wish there were a checklist to tell me the truth about where I stand. Am I ready? What does ready feel like, does it feel this confused and unsure?

Yesterday I was given a surgery date at the end of July and I've been a little in shock. I keep wondering when did I decide to explore surgery? Is this really where my life is going? I have no choice, my body can't handle this weight anymore - so I am thrilled about all the pluses, but I am also thinking more about where I should have my last meals than I am about the seriousness of what lies before me. I'm not young, I am a woman in the New York area close to middle age - I should have this much, much more together - but I don't. I am so confused. How do I know if my head is where it needs to be, or is everyone's head a mess at this point? Will it all come together?

ANY thoughts, guidance or experiences would be very much appreciated. This is my first post on this site.

I know this is the sleeve site and I'm banded but it doesn't matter. You sound just like me before I got the band. In fact, I went with the band because I expected to fail and then I could get it removed and go back to eating myself into an early grave. All I can tell you is what my experience was like. I started to see that I was not so hungry anymore. I was eating so much less and not missing it terribly. Oh...I still have cravings, and I want what I want. But somewhere around the 70 lb. mark, I was able to see a difference. Plus, it was at this point that I could go ahead with my joint replacement surgery. Before that, I was too heavy. I was also close to being in a wheelchair because I couldn't walk.

Do I miss eating to excess? Sometimes yes. Do I miss the hip pain? Never. Do I miss the staring faces and the horror on some of those faces if it looked like I might try to sit next to them on the bus or subway? No. Do I enjoy being normal sized? You bet.

I know how you feel. I really do. You will get used to this way of life. If you don't fight the sleeve as I do not fight the band...meaning not testing it, not breaking the rules....you will find success and your fears and concerns will fade away.

Good luck. Oh and I see that you and Marmello are in NY. Anywhere near New York City perhaps ladies? That's where I hail from.

Your doctor will want you to lose some weight before your surgery. Now would be a good time to explore the different ways to meet your dietary needs post surgery. Try different products, begin taking the supplements... You're going to find that once you recover from the actual procedure you still have the choice to eat garbage or healthy... just the quantities will be much less. After the first few months your weight loss will be based on your food choices and activity level. Instead of thinking of places to over-eat before surgery realize that after recovery you will most likely tolerate most foods in small quantities. Deprivation never has to be part of your journey. I still have some of my old favorites sometimes but instead enough to feed a small army I have a few bites and am satisfied. You'll most likely find this true for yourself. You're worth the effort :-)

Hi I've been feeling the same! I get sleeved on April 28 and some days I wake up and say I'm not going to do this especially because I can't stand the protien shakes they make me nauseous!

I know 7 ladies who have had sleeve and bypass and each one of them don't regret it and have said they wish they would of done it sooner!! Yes I've heard the horror stories of the first 2 weeks post op but I then go to the mirror and I'm quickly reminded of why I'm on this journey!! I'm ready to change my life!

There's a difference between being scared and having second thoughts. Being scared is normal. This is major surgery! As long as you keep the positives in mind then you will go through with it without second thoughts. No regrets.

On the other hand, if you're having second thoughts, don't go through with it. Or give yourself more time to mentally prepare. The last thing you want to have is regret, and this is an irreversible procedure. Don't force yourself to do something you may not be ready for.

But ARE you ready? Well just read around here and you will see a very clear picture about what to expect before and after surgery. For me, the surgery was the easy part. Just had to show up and get some magic liquid in my IV and then I woke up and it was over. The hard part is recovery as well as figuring out what you're going to be eating. But this really only lasts for about 7-8 weeks until you are back to normal foods. It goes by fast, trust me. Then after that you are basically on a low calorie high Protein diet. It's easier now though, since you get full so quickly.

When it comes down to it, it's your decision. I made a decision to stop the the numbers from continuing going up on the scale which was only putting my life in danger. I made the decision for myself to get healthy.

Good luck!

Thank you to each of you who has taken the time to respond to my post. I am reading and re-reading your responses to try to "get this", to see deep down inside what I feel. I may have some questions, and I will let you know more as this sinks in. All your responses combined provide me with so much to absorb and to try to hold onto. Thank you!

I also wondered about this....and I also wondered if it would actually work for me. Since I hadn't been very successful losing weight at all, and the older I got, the harder it was to lose, I just wasn't sure. It was a leap of faith for me. I also think that even though I'm a registered nurse, and was FULLY prepared by my medical team, I didn't fully understand what I was undertaking. I knew it was a lifelong commitment, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I didn't really embrace that idea. I also spent the last two months eating everything I ever wanted - they call then food funerals. I don't regret that - I do think it helped me say goodbye to that way of life.

However, once I had the surgery, I was forced into submission at first by the size of my stomach and fear of a leak if I didn't follow the rules. Then, once I began to enjoy some success early on, the realization began to sink in that I just might be able to do this! So, each day, I learned a little more about myself and what I'm really capable of. So, success begets more success. Over time I changed my way of thinking - that I can and would succeed. Now, I'm fully committed for life. Now that I have a taste of a normal life, I never want to go back. I know what it takes to stay here, and I'm doing it every day. Not always easy, and not always what I really want to do at the moment, but I'm committed. You will need to get to that level of commitment at some point, but you CAN do this.

For me, I researched the sleeve as much as humanly possible. I know 4 others that had it done and I was confident that I could do it and it's what I needed.

Fast forward to 4 days post op when I got out of the hospital; I was miserable. I cried for days. No matter how 'prepared' I thought I was, no one can really prepare you for the emotional toll. Obviously everyone is different but my experience was terrible. I equate it to a crackhead's first weeks in rehab. I missed food. I missed being blasé about eating. Yes my life prior to the sleeve was miserable but I didn't think about that the first days post op, I just kept focusing on the misery of losing my friend food. Others may not have had such a negative experience afterwards but that was mine. I'm 2 weeks+ out now and feel better. Do I think about my fave junk foods? Yes, several times a day. But at least I'm not crying anymore. I'm down 22 lbs and although I don't see it, others do. I'm definitely not at a stage where I would recommend the surgery, but I'm not as bad as I was right after the surgery.

It's definitely a journey of inner strength. Some of it, you can't prepare for.

It will come together, when you are ready. I postponed my surgery for a month because I was not ready, but the more research I did, the more I realized I not only wanted the sleeve, but NEEDED the sleeve.

I did not have a negative experience at all...in fact the months of worry and panic were much more stressful than the actual procedure and recovery. I also had food funerals, on top of food funerals, saying goodbye to my friends...

fast forward several weeks, and I had my sleeve in December of 13. I had a very easy recovery, was able to eat purees the day I left the hospital. I had achey pain, but nothing bad at all. I had no nausea. Now, at four+ months out, I am down 60+ lbs and off all diabetes meds and insulin. I have been able to eat almost anything, even salad and beef, just not much at a time.

The only real regret I have is not doing it sooner, years sooner!

I honestly feel like each of you has changed me and helped with the direction of my life. There are invaluable nuggets in each of your responses and when all put together are really powerful.

I can't believe how much my own post, with answers really directed at me has helped. I posted because I was SOOooooo miserable and needed to complain. I had no idea there would be really thought provoking responses covering an entire spectrum of thoughts that would help me. I feel like I can face my life for today, what an amazing thing!

Thank you all,

xxoo

HELP

What if I'm not sure if I can really do this?

I wish there were a checklist to tell me the truth about where I stand. Am I ready? What does ready feel like, does it feel this confused and unsure?

Yesterday I was given a surgery date at the end of July and I've been a little in shock. I keep wondering when did I decide to explore surgery? Is this really where my life is going? I have no choice, my body can't handle this weight anymore - so I am thrilled about all the pluses, but I am also thinking more about where I should have my last meals than I am about the seriousness of what lies before me. I'm not young, I am a woman in the New York area close to middle age - I should have this much, much more together - but I don't. I am so confused. How do I know if my head is where it needs to be, or is everyone's head a mess at this point? Will it all come together?

ANY thoughts, guidance or experiences would be very much appreciated. This is my first post on this site.

I too am in July. I am going through the same thoughts as the time grows closer. Especially since I just had surgery for my gallbladder. But I feel better as this week passes (I just had surgery last Friday) met with the Dr today and he said that it is very similar to the sleeve surgery. So I feel as though I am getting a trial run sort of. I am surviving and know what to expect to a degree. On some things anyways. Knowing that it will be OK and I am strong enough has eased most of my anxiety. You can do this too!

I think it's perfectly normal to 2nd guess your decision. I did multiple times during my process. I decided to have surgery in mid-August and set a tentative date of mid-November, so I, like you, had plenty of time to think about it. But on the flip side of that, I had plenty of time to prepare...That was a good thing.

I had food funerals - I went to my favorite places and ate some last meals. In retrospect, I didn't need to. But, I certainly understand why we do it.

Take this time to prepare...this is my advice to all pre-oppers:

* Practice mindful eating techniques (eating at the table w/ no distractions...no TV, no radio, no phone, etc.). This will help you feel fullness easier than mindlessly eating in front of the TV.

* Start exercising. The better shape you're in before surgery, the faster you will recover and get on your feet. Recovery will be easier as well.

* Work on trying to find a Protein shake you like - don't over purchase, your tastes may change after surgery. Find different ways to make your shakes - play with different combinations of low glycemic berries, sugar free syrups, temperatures, etc.

* Start chewing your food 20-25 times per bite and taking smaller bites.

* Slow down your eating (I used a free app called Eat Slower - it will chime when it's time to take a bite)

This is a life-changing decision you're making. It's not to be taken lightly, that's why you're feeling this way. Research the procedure, come to forums like this, attend a live support group meeting if one is available, etc. Know that you're going to have ups and downs between now and surgery day. I honestly almost backed out in admitting - I'm glad I didn't.

I documented my process from the time I decided to have surgery to present on my blog - click the link below if you care to read about (you will read about my ups and downs and questions I had during the process).

Best of luck to you!

The week before surgery I was kind of where you are. I was losing a lot of weight on the pre-op diet, and it didn't even seem that hard. I kept asking myself, why I can't I just do this the rest of my life?

And I kept answering myself, you can't. You can do it for these short 10 days but what happens next month or next year? The only time I ever had significant weight loss (about 70 lbs) I was working out literally 4 hours a day and on some crazy prescription that was basically speed. And the weight did not stay off once I stopped all that.

This may or may not be a good analogy for you, but I view this whole experience kind of like I was a hoarder (of calories!). I'm basically paying some super tough cleaners to come and get rid of all my junk and start me with a clean slate. And it will be easy for the first 6-12 months to keep my house clean, but I need to put in the work to maintain it. I need to learn what is appropriate and healthy when it comes to what I put in my body, and be willing to face those battles. Only you can make that choice, but I'm only a week post-op, and I know things are going to be awesome.

You CAN do it. You looked into the surgery and you've done everything you've needed to get a surgery date, which means it was something you wanted.

I know the feeling though. I felt like I would somehow fail at this surgery (a surgery that is basically guaranteed to help you lose weight) as I have with other diets. Or, I believed I would somehow ruin my post-op diet.

After surgery you'll feel different. Obviously, you'll be the same weight, but those cravings will be gone. My doctor kept reassuring me of this, and I didn't truly believe him until after the surgery. You think you'll miss those trips to your favorite fast food restaurant, or midnight Snacks, but I promise you, you won't even think about them. Don't think of those "last meals" as "last meals." Granted the next couple months after eating will feel like a chore, you'll be able to eat them again some day, but a much smaller amount, and probably in a healthier version.

Don't be nervous! Your life is going to change, and for the better.