Comfy_Blue

This is a combination vent/rant/cry for help. I thought after I lost weight it would give me more confidence, but I'm still the same old me, just smaller. Right now I'm really struggling because I feel like an outcast at work, which feels so stupid because I'm the team leader. While I'm not a boss, I am responsible for making sure my team is running smoothly, I hold weekly meetings, act as a liaison between the administration and my teammates and if there's any issue with our team, I'm held partially accountable. Anyway, when I started here five years ago, I worked with a team of women I really liked. We weren't best friends, but we worked well together, chatted and laughed between classes, supported one another, stuck together, shared resources, kept each other in the loop, etc. All of those women have since transferred to new schools. My new team (2 completely new teachers and 2 teachers who transferred to my team from different grade levels) and I just aren't clicking. In the beginning, I tried to set the tone that we're in this together. I got everyone together for a meet and greet before school started, then I helped the two new teachers set up their room, tried to be friendly, answered questions, went out of my way to help. And they accepted all my time/resources. But they all click well with each other. When we're together, they laugh, joke and make small talk together and mostly ignore me. If they want something (ie: to bounce ideas off each me, to complain about a policy/procedure, to ask a school related question) then they'll come to me. When I'm running our weekly grade level meeting, I sometimes get phone calls. I'll step away to take them, then when I return to the table, they'll keep chatting about random stuff, or sometimes school related stuff like I'm not there until I loudly interrupt them. We're all around the same age, but we're a different race, so that may have something to do with it. A lot of the stuff they talk about (ie: hiking, going to baseball games, camping, happy hours, etc) I can't relate to. They also reference things that I can't really comment on from previous conversations they've had with each other. I used to try and make small talk, but most of what I say seems to fall flat. When I'm one on one with two of them, the conversation flows a little. But in a group, or with the other two, it feels like I'm wallpaper or they'll answer my question with brief statements. I've pretty much given up on trying to fit in. At recess when they're all clumped together talking, I focus on supervising the kids. When they come in the break room, I'll smile and say hi and occasionally make small talk, but not a ton. After our weekly meetings, they'll try to keep sitting in my room chattering to each other, so I'll start packing up my stuff and get my keys. When it's lunch time and two of them are eating together, and the other two ride out to grab a sandwich, I do feel a little left out, but I try to shrug it off and spend that time catching up on stuff. It's still hard and lonely. I really want to go to a new school.

I was really worried because the morning I woke up for surgery my period had started. I read on here that it's really common for women to start their periods right before or right after surgery. I guess it's a shock to the system or something. Anyway, it turned out not to be a big deal at all. The only thing that bothered me was that I wasn't allowed to wear a tampon during surgery. Not sure why, I guess it's not sterile or something. Anyway, the nurse gave me a pair of cheap panties made of a really thin material (kinda like cotton depends I guess) that had a pad built in. I wore those during my surgery and after. I was pretty out of it for like a day after surgery but I vaguely remember when my husband took me to the bathroom each time not seeing hardly any blood on the pad. I don't know if that's typical or not but I honestly don't remember changing out of the crappy panties until I got home and even then they weren't all bloody and gross. I think the stress might have slowed down my flow.

Prior to the operation, my cycles were extremely irregular. I would have a period once every 2 - 3 months. What used to scare me was that i would have PMS symptoms (sore breasts, bloated, fact breaking out in pimples, moody, etc) but I wouldn't bleed. I weighed about 245 lbs and I'm 5'6 which a medium frame, so it didn't look or feel good. Anyway, I got sleeved in December and my periods started to become regular around February. It's now October and I have a period every month.

Infertility does indeed suck especially when you see so many people around you who have kids that don't even want them. I'm finding myself starting to get jealous of other people who have children. When I hear someone complain about an unexpected/unwanted pregnancy, it hurts my heart a little because I want one so badly. I sincerely hope that the treatments work for you and your husband. Thank you for answering my question. I'm hoping that I don't have to take too many hormones because my own hormones make me overemotional during my period. I remember reading a Dr. Seuss book to my class and I had to keep turning away because it was making me tear up. Yikes! Anyway your answer was extremely helpful. The ones I've been reading online are more about how the actual process is done (ie: wash the sperm, put in a cathader to inseminate you) but not a lot about the other stuff. THanks too for offering to let me message you. After my first appointment I will likely take you up on that offer with some additional questions!

My husband and I started trying for a baby around early June but have not had success. We've both had fertility tests and the doctors have determined there's nothing wrong with either of us (his swimmers and healthy and abundant, and I don't have any issues with my ovaries/Fallopian tubes, etc). We're seriously considering IUI and have an appointment at a fertility clinic next week. Have any of you all done an IUI before? I've been researching it on the internet and it sounds like the woman has to take hormones in the form of either a shot or pills which sounds scary. When I hear about taking hormones my first thought (of course) is: "Is this going to make me gain weight?" I also wonder if while I'm on hormones will it feel like an extended PMS (ie: sore breasts, mood swings, cramps, etc). Our insurance provider has reassured us that they cover 50% of all costs which makes me wonder, about how much do these things typically run? I'm also wondering do you have to pay each time you're inseminated? Like let's say they inseminated me in December, but I don't get pregnant. Do they attempt to inseminate me again in January, and if so, do I have to pay again?

I am so late responding to this but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU everyone. It's now September. My husband and I started trying a few months ago but nothing yet. My once irregular periods are now as regular as clockwork (I can almost predict the exact day, whereas it used to be once every 2 months or so). I'm down almost 100lbs (thank you God) and I have been trying to increase my activity level so I can try to keep the pounds off.

I'm glad someone posted about this because I've been having similar issues. I think people are so used to seeing us overweight that it becomes "normal". Then, when we start ti lose weight and are actually a healthy weight we look super skinny/sickly because we're so far from what they got used to. I hate when people ask how much more weight do i plan to lose and tell me that I'm wasting away. I am 5'6 and have a medium frame. At my heaviest i weighed 250lbs, but mostly held steady around 238 - 245ish. I wore a size 20/22. Now i am about 145lbs and I wear a size 6. That is NOT too skinny. I also wear a 36D cup and have thighs (no thigh gap even after losing nearly 100lbs) and curves.

Sometimes I still am sad that I couldn't "do it on my own" but most things are not 100% solo effort. If I had lost weight through Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, MediFast, etc, I wouldn't have been upset that I "didn't do it on my own". So I try to remind myself this isn't much different. The stretch marks don't bother me, so I hate that my arms are still pretty big even though the rest of me has gotten much smaller. I can deal with the bat wings, but when I hold up my arm, you can totally see where the "skinny" arm should be, versus the fat hanging from it if that makes sense. After I have children, I really want to have plastic surgery on my arms. But the advantages far outweight those things. I don't ever want those 100 lbs back

YES, you will be fine. This surgery stuff is scary, especially if you're like me and had never been operated on prior to this. The hardest part of all of this for me as the liquid diet because I made the brilliant decision to get sleeved December 23. I had like three holiday functions during my 10 day fast, so it sucked, BUT I got through it and it was totally worth it. When I look in the mirror at my size 8 body as opposed to my sz 22 body, that's also worth it. Not to mention that my sleep apnea, high blood pressure, painful joints and disgust for my form is gone. You're going to be fine. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I promise you will. When I was on the other side, I was 100% convinced something was going to go wrong like I'd die on the table, or wake up in the middle of the surgery because they didn't use enough gas on me. What scared me the most was the thought that "What if I go through ALL this and the surgery doesn't even work? If I don't lose any weight?" But, l had to make a decision. Stay fat and KNOW I was going to die a slow death from sleep apnea/high blood pressure/diabetes/high cholesterol/immobility or take a chance on a surgery that MIGHT have a complication but would DEFINITELY give me my life back if successful. The risk of a surgical complication was less scary to me than the definite of dying from a co-morbidity.

These are fabulous points...so fabulous, I fact, I used them today during a discussion with a good friend about my upcoming surgery. She told me not to lose to much because "people often get to thin aft WLS). After I mentioned these points she totally got it - especially the part about how we are so used to seeing certain people large that it informs our identity of them. Anyway - thanks for your insight! Hey! I'm just seeing this and am so glad that my postings helped you explain to your friend about this lifestyle choice and the WLS. People truly don't get it. I mean when I was an overweight pre-teen my Mom used to say, "Don't feel bad honey, Marilyn Monroe was a big girl too. She wore a size 14!" but when I look back at a size 14 from Marilyin Monroe's day, it was a modern day equilvalent to a sz 8 or possibly a larger 6. (I wear a sz 8/10 now and according to Monroe's stats, she weighed 30 lbs less than me). Our preceptions are so off! Anyhow, again, glad to help

Yup, I've had a few people (all older, overweight women...) tell me that I need to stop losing weight and/or ask "How much more are you planning to lose?" in disgusted voices. It does annoy me, but I try not to let it show and I'll just shrug or say, "I don't have a goal in mind." I don't feel like I'm too thin at all, I mean I'm 5 '6 and weigh 159 lbs. Technically I am still in the overweight range. I met my surgeon's goal (160 lbs) last week. My personal goal is 150lbs, though I'd LOVE to get down to 140 lbs (so long as stuff doesn't start to sag). I think I look super thin to people because: #1: I was fat for so long so it's a huge contrast #2: Obesity is such an epidemic in the US, that "overweight/average sized" people look super skinny because our idea of "normal" is so much bigger here than in other countries (I find this especially true when I go to the store and buy clothes. I can wear all smalls and sometimes extra-smalls now even though I am far from a small person. My friend, who really IS a small b/c she's like 5'5 and weighs 108lbs, has to shop in the children and teen section because all the smalls in ladies sections are way too big for her) #3: Haters gonna hate (I'm only half joking)

I choose "You are afraid of complications or side effects from weight loss surgery" because at the time, I didn't know anyone personally who had had the procedure. So, all I knew about WLS was what I saw on television and had heard second hand from others. All I heard was negative stuff, like about losing your hair, dumping syndrome, people being lefts with 20+ lbs pounds of excess skin, people losing their teeth and getting brittle bones from malnutrition, slippage and eroding (lap band patients), people dying, people going through WLS and then gaining all their weight back. I also saw a story about a woman who had WLS (can't remember which one anymore) but she kept losing and losing, and wasn't able to stop. She looked really sickly and I was afraid that might happen to me. I also choose, "You do not know if it will help you lose weight" because I had tried EVERYTHING it seemed (phentermine, starving myself, Dexatrim, exercising 2 - 3 hours a day, Medifast, Slim Fast, Atkins Diet, Weightwatchers, Veganism, gluten-free diet, eating small meals/snacks every 1 - 2 hours, working with a nutritionist, getting a personal trainer, etc) and I would either lose weight and quickly put it back on, remain the same, or sometimes gain weight. I feared that I would do something so extreme as WLS and alter my body and it wouldn't work leaving me forever "broken". I mean if WLS didn't work, I would have no other options outside of liposuction (which REALLY scares me)

I'm not sure why it happens but I do think it's got something to do with the weight loss. It affects your body in so many unexpected ways. Maybe it effects you with strange dreams. For me, when I first started losing weight, I had a lot of trouble falling and staying asleep. I'd wake up at least 10 times a night. It got to the point that I started taking sleeping pills. Also, as I started losing weight and my "padding", getting into a comfortable position at night became increasingly difficult, especially on my side. It often felt like my bones were poking into the mattress which both hurts and feels weird (kinda like whe you hit your funny bone). Both of those issues have thankfully settled down. I'm sure the same will happen for you.

I'd be more keen to wear a wig then extensions because those can pull out and weaken your hair too. I've had extensions in twice, and both times when I went to remove them, my hair was coming out by the hand fulls. My hair also felt really thin for a month afterward. Keep in mind, we shed about 100 strands a day but when you have extensions you can't really comb your own hair (and get the loose strands), so when you finally remove the fake hair, it's going to look like you're losing a lot which freaked me completely out. If you do get extensions, I would recommend you get the kind where they braid your own hair and sew a wig cap over it. My mom got that kind (plus went to hair dresser every other week, where they'd take the cap off, wash mom's real hair, and then put the wig cap back on). Her hair actually grew and was stronger. Mom also paid a lot more than I did. I on the other hand went the cheap route (though not THAT cheap, it was over $100). I had my real hair braided, then the first time they glued in pieces and the second time, they sewed in pieces. I didn't get my hair washed in between by a professonal, rather I washed it myself. Both times, the hair looked good the first few days, then it started to look ratty and when I washed it, I couldn't rinse all the shampoo out which contributed to my hair breaking off I'm sure. If you are going to get extensions, I would ask around to find someone who knows what they're doing and be willing to pay a little more. Don't cut corners. It's not worth the damage!

Amazing! Good for you. Sometimes when I'm walking and catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection, I am overtaken my intense joy and I give thanks to God for the creation of this surgery, for me pulling through successfully and for it giving me my life back.

Looking good! I used to hate being tagged in pics on Facebook. Now I go out if my way to tag myself.

I haven't been exercising regularly, so now that school is out, I've decided to try and walk 30minutes a day like my nutritionist originally recommended. Yesterday I walked a brisk 1.5 miles on the track (took me about 20 minutes) then in the evening, I walked a slow, leisurely 3/4 of a mile with my husband(that took about 15 minutes). The strange thing is not only my legs are sore, but the sides of my torso are sore (about from my belly button to the top of my waist). When i cough, the muscles there actually hurt (kinda like when you catch a cold and you've coughed so much that your ribs are sore). My thighs are also sore, but that's to be expected I guess. Had anyone else experienced this? When i did a combination of walk/running on the treadmill a few weeks ago, I wasn't sore in my lower waist afterward. What gives?

Thanks Lil. Maybe I'll hold out until school starts back. Ya know, new year, new hair do (plus that'll put me closer to the 1 year mark)

I guess the email has been taken down because I don't see it. However, I take what people say on internet forums with a grain of salt because it's so easy to BS someone when you're anonymous behind a screen. For all you know, that person may not have even had WLS and they're just bored and/or want attention, so they opted to troll. I was sleeved 6 months ago and the only time I feel sick are when I do stupid stuff that I know I shouldn't be doing. Like two days out of the hospital, I wasn't taking my prilosec, so I had severe heart burn that made drinking even Water unbearably painful. So I barely drunk which resulted in me getting dehydrated and feeling weak. Once I started taking my meds, I felt much better. I also went to a holiday party about 3 weeks post-opt and wanting to hide the fact that I couldn't eat solid foods, I tried to do the "chew and spit" with some super spicy chicken and I swallowed a little bit by mistake and was in agony for about 15 minutes. Most recently I let myself get really hungry (should've known better!) and begged DH to stop at McDonald's. I took HUGE bites (the way I used to pre-opt) of a double cheese burger with Mac Sauce & bacon (another no no!) and shoved several fries into my mouth hardly chewing. All of a sudden, I felt like I needed to vomit and I could feel the food sitting in my chest and I had tightness and pain in my chest. I wanted to throw up, but all that I felt was foam rising up in the back of my throat. I take responsibility for those mistakes, and try to do better. Everyone isn't like that. For some people, it's easier to lie and pretend they're doing everything right and it's just the sleeve that's wrong.

Tomorrow it'll officially be 6 months since I was sleeved. I was told that my hair would start falling out a few months into post-opt, but so far (*knock on wood*)so good. I've been working hard to get in my protein/calcium, I exercise, try to eat well, drink milk daily and I (almost always) take my Vitamins, so maybe that's helping. My hair seems to be growing faster since my surgery. (It was chin length pre-opt. Post opt, it meets my bra strap). Anyway, I've been wanting to dye my hair for quite some time now, but I am terrified that it's too soon and/or I'm going to somehow mess up the increased hair growth I've seen and it'll start breaking off/falling out. Have any of you dyed your hair post opt? How did it go? How long did you wait? My husband suggested if I just got high lights, so that if my hair does fall out, it'll only be parts of it. But I'm still leery and not a big fan of highlights (I've had them done in the past and the stylists apparently didn't know what they were doing because they looked so unnatural!)

I was wearing about a 40DD pre-opt. Now I'm in a 38D. The girls are definitely look a lot better in my bra that when they're hanging free. I can't really say if they're more or less saggy now because even when I was a young teen wearing a B-cup (and weighing 130 lbs) my breasts weren't at all perky. Mom's and Grandma's are the same way and I'm sure if I have a daughter, her's will probably be the same unless the women in my husband's family possess the coveted "perky boob" gene (lol) Anyway, the only advantage (sometimes annoyance) to my boobs not having deflated much is that they're extremely prominent in whatever I wear these days. My bff actually thought I had gotten a boob job after the weight loss, which is funny, because again, my boobs are SMALLER now than when I was bigger. I guess because my body went down so much, but my breasts only shrank a little, it makes them look a lot bigger.

I think we all have those stubborn areas. For me, my arms still look pretty fat and even though my waist has gotten much smaller, I still have a pouch below my navel. In some ways, that pouch is worse now that I'm thinner because with the top of my waist (like from under my breasts to right above my navel) being so tiny, my pouch sits out like a baby bump.

At the beginning of the school year, they always take pictures of each grade level team and hang the pictures in the front of the building so that when parents and students arrive on the first day, they know what we all look like. I remember I turned to the side and sucked everything in thinking I had successfully tricked the camera into me looking slim. WELL...when the pictures were posted a couple days later, I was mortified. I looked (for lack of better words) like a sausage stuffed in a casing 3 sizes too small. My eyes were sunken into my fat and even though I'm wearing a relatively loose shirt, you can see EACH AND EVERY roll clearly through the fabric. My upper arms are thick and meatly and my entire forearm is so fat that my bracelet's don't fall down to the bottom of my wrist, but sit comfortable held up by fat three inches from the start of my hand. For the first time I saw myself as the rest of the world did...FAT. And it hurt. Everyday from Sept - October, I had to look at that picture of myself each time I came into the building. On Oct. 31, I couldn't take it anymore and made an appointment to attend a WLS open house. And the rest, is history. :-)

Yup, I know exactly what you mean. Sex was difficult for me because whenever I'd get on top, within a couple minutes my knees would be killing me (I guess the pressure of my weight combined with having sore knees already from hailing around so much weight during the day) I also am happier being sexual because I have less smelly crevices(I know, TMI!) but while I obviously don't always smell like a rose, I find that my genitals, arm pits and my body in general just doesn't get as stinky as they used to. My feet also smell better. I think I'm not sweating as much because it's easier to move around.

Even though it's more fun to see the scale drop, I prefer to lose inches because then your clothes get looser and you look/feel smaller. At the beginning of my journey (I'm almost 6 months post opt) I was frustrated because I watched my weight go from 245, to 220, to 215 and I was still wearing the same sized clothes. Granted, the clothes did feel a teensy, tiny bit looser, but it was such a teensy, tiny difference that I wasn't sure if I was loosing weight or if the clothes just feel looser b/c i'd worn them and as with all clothes, they stretch a little as you move around in them. I didn't get down to a sz 16 jeans (was in an 18/20) until I was about 205lbs. At 198lbs I was able to squeeze into a size 14, but it was tight. Now I'm about 163 lbs and in a sz 10, which is GREAT but I was wearing a sz 10 when I was 176 lbs. I really want to wear a single digit (like an 8 or 6) because the last time I was able to wear that size I was probably like 12 or 13 (I'm 30 now). I would prefer to lose inches AND the number to go down on the scale. Maybe you should measure yourself daily with a tape measurer the way I get on the scale daily then you'll be able to keep track of your progress. I also kept ''too tight'' clothes and would periodically try them on and be tickled when they'd start to feel a teeny bit loose, then loose, then baggy, then falling off me.