Kara in Texas

Im not even 100% sure it is your port. Mine was right under my largest scar and the doc said it is scar tissue, my port is actually lower than the "golf ball" under my skin. I am 71/2 mohts out and still have it - and cant actually "feel" my port under the skin yet.

Im sure many of you have read this before, but it is just too funny not to post. <TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="WIDTH: 100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-TOP: 0in" width="100%">If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 30 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed i t to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy Iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me. WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too. THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room.. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank. FRIDAY: I hate that broad Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the *&%#(#&**!!@*@ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my (sadistic) wife, will choose a gift for me that is fun like a root canal or a vasectomy. fficeffice" /><O:p></O:p> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

I am doing yoga once a week, Pilates and toning once a week and Belly Dancing 2X's a week. Now, Not that I actually get it all done EVERY WEEK, but that is my goal!! I really enjoy yoga and belly dancing, Pilates I can live with out but its good for you. I want to get one of those "Hip Hop" Dance off the pounds or whatever videos. Those look Cool~ I love to dance.

I am a smoker, pre and post so I dont really know any different. I was lucky that my doctor didnt make me stop (NOT that, that is a GOOD thing, because i have to stop - but one vice at a time) I honestly think it has helped, I have lost 73 lbs in 5 months.

I love that ... I can so relate. I am quite curious as well.

I absoulutly cannot believe you, I am sorry but I just cant read this post anymore. Wallow in your self pitty, but I can no longer stand to see people try and try to help you and you not allow it. Did you ACTUALLY READ Jessica O's Profile... And you Actually Think your life is bad? Heh.... EDIT - This post is like a train wreck, you HAVE to look!

I am not Married, but I do work a full time Job. I am a Football Junkie!

Lins - I thought the same thing!! What will i do with myself.... All I have been consumed with the past 15 yrs is my weight, I really thought that I was going to have some serious deamons to deal with....but as of yet, i havent. I figured i would be that one that just couldnt live with out being able to binge...but It is GREAT!!! Life is good....Well, 5 months out anyway.

As is typically the case!

Sweet pea, I am so very sorry. I am sending you many prayers!

Okay, this is a little silly, but I think it is just conditioning... on my part. <O:p I have been heavy all of my life. So, being 27 about the last 12-15 years has been all about diets. What is new, what I could do that could possibly be "the one" that will make me skinny. Anyway... onto my point. <O:p</O:p <O:p</O:p Every time an Infomercial or Commercial about Diet products, pills or exercise machines come on .. my ears still perk up, and I for a brief moment still think.. is THIS the one. Then, my anxiety subsides and remember... OH YEAH!! MY BAND! I don’t Have to spend countless dollars/hours on this stuff anymore... Woo HOO!! Anyone else... or am I the ONLY loon. <O:p</O:p Kara<O:p></O:p>

At least stop with the discrimination stuff, if you are going to do it yourself. I dont know what else to say to you. I dont know how to help you, or even give you words of encouragement. Maybe you just need to vent, you dont really want help?

Im so so terribly sorry if this offends you, I hope that it will not, but I have to put my two cents in. Why dont you say something POSITIVE!! There has GOT to be something positive in your life. Even if it is Thanking the Good Lord that you were able to get out of bed this AM, and live and breath on your own....you have SOMETHING! I have no idea what you are going threw, I will not pretend that I do...but you Have to look at the glass half full, love. Even at my heaviest I always said... it could be SO much worse... and it could. Thank the lord that you have insurance at all, that you are able to get your meds, and that you have a warm bed to sleep in at night. If you look, I promise your situation is NOT as bad as it could be. I wish you all the luck in the world.

That is wonderful, and to have something in common like that. It is very hard to find someone that will understand you... Before AND After! Good Luck!

I LOVE DR. Jay!! I was banded in march and am doing GREAT!! I could not be happeir with my band, or with him. Life is Good....Best of Luck, I know that you will do well!