kmamaward

Your diet can be hard after weight loss surgery. You have to give up most junk food and monitor every bite that goes in your mouth. Although many patients have smaller appetites and fill up faster on less food, you can still struggle to make the dietary changes. You can be tempted to slip up, especially when food is around. And that is can be problem with family.
Family food dynamics before surgery might have been a lot easier. You ate the same food, went out together, and did not think much about which foods came into the house. After surgery, you have no choice but to restrict your diet. That is why family diet dynamics change after weight loss surgery.
Food Can Strain Your Family Dynamics
You can have the most loving family in the world, but they may not be your best dieting buddies. They may still want to buy their favorite foods, store them at home, and eat them when they want – even if it means eating them in front of you. These are some of the risks.
Caving in to these off-limit foods – and derailing your weight loss.
Becoming angry at your loved one(s) – and letting food hurt your relationship.
Banning all non-WLS foods from your home – and causing your loved one to be resentful.

How can you avoid these losing situations?
Everyone Needs to Compromise
The answer is compromise. You just went through a life-changing surgery because you struggled with obesity – and food – for years. You are on a strict diet, and cannot afford to have your hard work undone because your family continues to tempt you with high-calorie food. On the other hand, members of your family may feel that they have the right to eat whatever they want, whenever and wherever they want.
You can all compromise and come up with some new household rules. The following suggestions might work for your household, or you can come up with the rules that are best for your situation.
Family members are permitted to eat fast food meals inside the house, but cannot store leftovers.
Family members can keep certain wrapped Snacks at home only if they keep them hidden from you and eat them outside the house, such as at school or work.
Everyone must wrap up and put away leftover foods so that you are not tempted to grab them
Everyone must respect your need to have your kitchen scale, measuring cups and spoons, and storage containers handy and available, not shoved deep into a back closet.

Family Members of All Ages Contribute to the Diet Dynamics
Your weight loss surgery affects everyone in your household in a different way, and everyone from young children to teenagers to your spouse contributes to the household’s diet dynamics. Modify your approach to be appropriate for each family member.
Young children – They do not necessarily understand your weight loss surgery or the reasons behind it, and they are unlikely to fully understand why the household’s diet is changing. Luckily, young children are likely to eat what you offer. Offer them the same healthy foods – lean Proteins, fruits, vegetables, and nutritious starches – that you make for yourself, and you may be surprised how well they accept them, especially when you are cheerful and positive about it. In addition to serving healthy foods at home and in sack lunches, you can pack a treat for lunch so that they can enjoy it and you are not tempted to eat it.
Teenagers – Teenagers want to be independent. On principle, many of them automatically seem to reject anything that you do. The truth is, though, that they often just don’t want their friends to think that they’re different. If you have teenaged children, keep plenty of healthy snacks on hand and serve healthy foods at meal times. You may be surprised at just how often they choose to “sneak in” the healthy choice instead of opting for junk food! Don’t make a big deal out of it, or the teens will go right back to choosing junk foods. To further allow teens their sense of independence,
An important consideration with teenagers is that they may have their own weight concerns. They may already be overweight, or they may worry that they will one day struggle with their weight just like you did. That’s why it’s important now to allow them to develop healthy eating habits without putting pressure or rigid restrictions on them.
Spouse – You spouse is happiest when you are happy. You would do anything for your spouse. So why can weight loss surgery – which you went through to help you become healthier, happier, and a more capable person – lead to so much tension? Your spouse might not completely support your surgery, especially if he or she has never had a serious weight problem. Also, your spouse may be jealous of your resolve and new lifestyle.
On top of everything else, your spouse might be afraid that of losing the foods that he or she loves, either because you won’t allow them or because he or she eventually will need to accept and confront his or her own weight problem.
You need to have serious discussions of all of these issues and come to an agreement, just like you do in all other parts of your relationship. Let your spouse know that you aren’t changing as a person, but that you are becoming healthier. Let your spouse know that becoming thinner and more energetic will only deepen your love. And, discuss the food. Is your spouse willing to eat what you eat? Are there some treats that your spouse can eat in front of you that you are confident that you will not eat?
Family Meals Post-Weight Loss Surgery
You can have pleasant, healthy family meals even after weight loss surgery. One way is to prepare and eat your own food, while serving the rest of your family what they normally eat. You can all eat together. Even though you are eating less, you will take as long to eat as they will because you need to focus on chewing thoroughly and eating slowly. These are some other suggestions for family meals.
If you’re the one who makes the meals, you don’t have to make two every night. Once a week, cook your own food and refrigerate or freeze single-serving portions. Eat those at family meals, and cook for your family as usual.
Have a salad bar or other serve-yourself-style meal, such as a burger bar or Pasta bar. Include WLS-friendly options as well as everyone’s favorites. Everyone can choose what they want to eat. For example, at a pasta bar, you serve yourself spaghetti squash, grilled chicken, Tomato sauce, and salad, while others might choose spaghetti, meat sauce, and breadsticks.
Have a family treat night – can you decide that for one night, they can order in or eat junk, and you will stick to your diet? You might even be able to schedule your family’s treat night on an evening when you work late or you go out with friends so you don’t have to be around the tempting foods.
Make something that’s healthy for everyone, and just serve yourself a little less or skip the starch. You have learned to love lean proteins and veggies, and your family can, too.

Weight loss surgery changes a lot, from your body and mind to everything else in your life. Family diet dynamics are no different. With all of the other stress surrounding your new lifestyle, the environment surrounding food in your household can become tenser. With some understanding, communication, and compromise, you can keep everyone happy as you stay on track with your weight loss…and your family just might become healthier in the end!

I have my last group this month with my 6 months. I know the initial consultation will be about 2-4 hours depending if I get with the dietician too. I do not know how long before I can get in but shouldn't be about a month. I know no help right. Sorry.

Hi Lynda! There are an awful lot of amazing and very knowledgeable folks on this forum. The easiest way to get answers to your question is to just start typing. Folks post all of the time regarding the decision making process of trying to determine which surgery is best for them. There are General Forums and as you narrow things down, forums dedicated to specific types of surgery. You also can search the forum for key words and see previous posts on almost any subject you can think of including choosing the right surgery. For example if you did a search for "gastric bypass vs. gastric sleeve" you'll see lots of posts. Give it a try! You'll be a pro in no time!!

Thank you both you must be a good luck charm because I just reieve an email from my teat , when I go for my meeting I will have my surgical consultation, meet with the dietician, the anesialogist as well as get my surgery date.

I met my surgeon right away and saw him, and the nutritionist every one of the 6 months pre op. It was nice because I developed a great relationship with him beforehand.

I went out for a 32 oz porterhouse dinner before I started my liquid diet...creamed spinach, chop salad, garlic mashed potatoes...I ate it all. This seems to be a common phenomenon with many if us...the good news is I can still eat steak...just 3 oz instead of 32...still satisfying and delicious..

Good for you!! You have to be your own advocate and not rely solely on the staffers.

Like you, I had a great surgeon but the office was largely staffed with incompetent idiots, many of whom did not return phone calls. I took my problem to the surgeon's office manager. Had she not returned my phone call and fixed the problem immediately, I would have camped out in her office until she saw me and together we walked my file through her bleepin' office to get things done right. I also faxed a letter to my surgeon summarizing the difficulties I was experiencing with his staff. There was one really serious staff error that caused the insurance co. to deny my surgery. I took that matter to the Chief Operating Officer of the hospital that runs the Obesity Center.
I would make an appt with the insurance processors at the surgeon's office and demand that they show you the file that was submitted to the insurance company and give you a copy of it. While you are there, have them make a conference call with the insurance co and right then and there have it sorted out as to exactly whom to send a copy to in order to resubmit. If they are going to fax it, sit there and wait until you see them do it. Call the insurance company staffer an hour later to make sure it was received. Repeat as necessary.
Sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands and be your own advocate.

Emotional eating is a major part of most women’s lives. We’re taught to use food for so many things in addition to fuel and this can many times lead to overeating. Get some tips on how to make peace with food!


Which causes you to consume more calories—physical hunger and physical hunger pangs or stress, restlessness, boredom, anxiety, excitement, a need to Celebrate, a desire for comfort and other emotional triggers?
When WAS the last time you ate because you were physically famished? When was the last time you ate that you weren't?
Emotional eating is a major part of most women’s lives. We’re taught to use food for so many things in addition to fuel. Diets mess with our relationship with food and add so many “shoulds” to the equation that many chronic dieters hardly know if they are hungry or not. They are conditioned to judge their “fullness” by calorie counts, the clock, fat grams, carbs, and other external cues that are not hunger.

To make peace with food and break free from emotional eating, it’s essential to identify the root cause of your hunger—the feelings or needs that trigger overeating. Find a program that will show you how to identify what you are really hungry for and how to start using tools and strategies that address your needs and emotions in ways that food never will. That’s critical, but there is also another piece.

Taking control of overeating and making peace with food also means making peace with your physical hunger.

Hunger isn’t a negative thing. It’s not something to deny (like diets may tell you to do). It’s a signal that helps you take care of yourself. Honoring your hungers and cravings with respect is an important aspect of self-care.

That doesn’t mean you always eat everything your impulsive brain tells you that you want. You also don’t impulsively gratify all your emotional hungers or desires. But it’s important to acknowledge them.

That means learning to really listen to yourself.

It means learning how to understand your hunger and what it is telling you about what you need.

It means taking this information and making choices that are in your best interest (and that include compassion and respect).
A woman who is at peace with food feeds herself in high quality ways (and I'm talking about feeding her spirit and her soul as well as her stomach).
She also allows herself to savor the food and the experiences that she takes in. Eating doesn't trigger guilt or self-loathing and responding to her hunger isn't something she does in secret.
Let’s evaluate your relationship with hunger.
How do you decide when you are hungry?
Where do you feel hunger in your body?
On a hunger scale of 1 (ravenous) to 10 (stuffed to the gills), how hungry do you allow yourself to become before you feed yourself? How full do you fill yourself when you do eat?
When you determine that you are hungry, how do you decide what to eat?
How do you tell the difference between physical and emotional hunger?

If your Inner Champion was running the show and helping you live your BEST version of your life, how would you be responding to your physical and emotional cravings? Would it be different?
If you don’t know all the answers to these questions, don't panic. Many emotional eaters don’t. Knowing what you don’t know is an important step to making a change.

Asking questions like I’ve just asked you will help you take control of your relationship with food in new ways and start creating strategies that work for you.