Nykee

My fill doc always does it... this way she can see if there is a leak.. its always the same amount as she had put in before.

Tired old man, you aint so tired... cool

I would not want a guy if he was a fattie lover.. no way.. I understood what she was talking about (on oprah)

I do not like this at all.. I would like to be able to copy and paste my journal before its deleted from this board... :help: anyone know whats going on?

If my mate wouldnt let me / want me to do such a thing.. he isnt the mate I would want.. besides the poll said NO one would be hurt... so I say yes, sex is like blowling,.. its just something to do for fun..

I hope I dont get too pissy about it cuz it seems perfectly natural to me to be more attracted..

NO dolls thank you... lol Maybe I will post my exploits of this holiday... IF its any good..lol

My only scale is at the doctors office and it weighs up to 600 pounds.. so yeah, its accurate, I been weighing on it for years and years..... . I have literally gained and lost 12 pounds in 4 days...... (thats the most in such a short time).. I am going up and down like crazy.... and yes I DO need a fill.. !!!!!!!!!! I dont have the 150$ is the main problem... (but I am trying.. school clothes and now xmas..grrr) I would go from a 1.7 to a 1.8.... my band is real sensitive, so I have to go real slow (we figured this out finally.. after lots of ups and downs).... I would love to see what a 1.8 will do for me. I am real good (or should I say BAD!) at eating around the band, even with a tight fill I can easily consume 2500 to 4000 calories a day on liquids and 'easy foods'... I have nevr been a meal eater or a high portain eater, so I have to change ALOT more about my eating habits, and I am resistant (like I have been for 20 yrs) But I dont need a real tight fill, I need my SWEET SPOT back!!! When i had that is when I lost all my weight.. and is when food suddenly became unimportant, or at least a second thought.. GOSH I want that feeling back!!! THANKS for your support.. just letting me get this out was very helpful.. What I am giong to do to help me reach my goal is: starting a diet of course.. low sugar and whole grain focused. Making some major no candy and no junk in the house rules and EXCERsizing in my house!!! Someone gave me a slider or glider thingie. (I am disabled, but I tried it out and I think I can do it!!!) trying to get a fill in October. ($) If you dont know me that might not seem like much.. but if I can be good about those things, I will SUCEED!! and if I could only find that sweet spot again.. I would be good for anothor 50 pounds EASY! THANK YOU!!!

wow... bunch of perverts around here. anyone know where I can order a 21 yr old Blonde boy sex slave?

This is my story too! Its very frusterating..

My scale has been moving back and for for over 6 months 320 to 340 to 330 to 340 to 320... (lowest was 315, highest was 342) grrrr I want to be safely under 300 sooo bad.. Its my goal to be under 300 by xmas.. thats when everyone will see if I FAILED at this too.. I start my "diet" Sept. 5th..

I went to the doctors yesterday and told him about stuff..:help: I was referred to a urologist (spell?)... but I didnt know that until the urologist called today..:mad: I thought he said an MRI was being referred.? (another one!) He switched my viccodan for ultram, just like I asked and wanted. :eek: I got a perscription for a cream in case I ever get a rash again.:eek: I got on high blood pressure medication and that made me cry, I am surpose to be getting healthier here! I weighed 342.. its climbing.. I didnt get the results of my blood yet.. I got bitched at for my use of prednisone.. (well ya know, not really) prednione this, prednisone that...(rash, diabeties, high blood pressure) I get 5mg a friggin day.. THAT CANT be harming me.. (I save it up and use it NOT in 5ml a day, I TELL HIM exactly how I use it.. ITS STILL such a low dose!)

I went to the doctors yesterday and told him about stuff..:help: I was referred to a urologist (spell?)... but I didnt know that until the urologist called today..:eek: I thought he said an MRI was being referred.? (another one!) He switched my viccodan for ultram, just like I asked and wanted. I got a perscription for a cream in case I ever get a rash again. I got on high blood pressure medication and that made me cry, I am surpose to be getting healthier here!:confused: I weighed 342.. its climbing.. I didnt get the results of my blood yet.. I got bitched at for my use of prednisone.. (well ya know, not really) prednione this, prednisone that...(rash, diabeties, high blood pressure) I get 5mg a friggin day.. THAT CANT be harming me.. (I save it up and use it NOT in 5ml a day, I TELL HIM exactly how I use it.. ITS STILL such a low dose!)

Wow, thats MY story, lol loves to all!

p.s. it grows back.. isnt good enough for me either! GRRRRRRRRRR we are nothing without our hair. :cry

This is crazy.. Sorry.. I am worried. I am 18 months out and I have began to lose hair this month and lots of it... I have never lost hair before. I honestly did not think it was band related.. I get plenty of protein. I havent lost any big amounts of weight.. It cant be true that if you lose 30 pounds you can lose your hair.. and it cant be true that there is no explanation for why this happens.. I assumed this whole hair loss thing was understood.. I honestly never looked into it and just assumed that anyone loosing their hair had some severe deficencies or low proteins.. In my case its NOT stress.. or all my hair woulda been gone long ago and many times over.. If like vines has experienced hair loss in a number of stressfull situatiions like surgery.. FINE, obviously thats why she looses her hair.. but if A person has never lost hair, IS not THAT AGE of oldness.... and the hair loss is obviously significant..... PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS MORE THAN just guesses to go on as to why!! My hair is bleached.. I been bleaching it for a decade... I did not recently bleach it (few months ago).... MY hair has never fallen out EVER before.. BUT I did assume that I had to exspect it would SOME DAY.. NOW I am not so sure... so many bandsters experience it.. I gotta have answers!! lol

I couldnt tell if you think it came from your gina or where.. if its from the gina I wouldnt get too uptight.. make a doctors appointment.. I used to push rubbery grey stuff out of me the size of a deck of cards and lots of blood, clots like golf balls.. it is scary, but the pain is the scariest.. IMO.. and HEDWIG is my #1 most favorit movie of ALL time.. Rocky horror was for 15 years and I never thought anything could top it... I didnt change my number one lightly, lol NOW, I cant imagine anything EVEr being better than HEDWIG.. Mike pitt (tommy gnosis) in the tub is my messenger icon, "Hawt" I hope you have a better day!

I dont ever think about it in inches.. but I think i have gained inches.. lol I still weigh 340 pounds so they wont even consider it yet.. But I have no qualms about having PS, I'm just leery of seeking insurance to pay for it.. Thanks for telling me your think I am in need.. I dont know How it works.. I think my tummy should get done cuz I have incontinece.. I hope. ((hugs))

This is my daughter... she has lost almost 15 pounds in the last year ... (more like the last 6 months we noticed) I hope no one minds that I post this here (it can be taken off) We are very happy about it cuz we were certain she was on her way to becoming FAT..... she was prepared and so was I... she didnt want to be, but she didnt want her life to be revolved around dieting (she saw me do it her whole life and dont think its worth it)............. me and her are so much alike, we look alike, and I obesity attacked me out of the blue.. I worked HARD all our lives to make sure none of my kids got fat... (I had to couneract all the bad influence I was, ya know).... and at age 13 the chub started to come on cuz I wasnt in total control anymore. Hummmmm, could it be that we are not at fast food everyday, we dont eat at resturants all the time, we dont have pizza everyweek.... And our lives do not revolve around food!! She gets to not be chubby or worried about being fat now at age 15.... and she didnt even have to try.. I am just thrilled..

I am fed up.. I am gaining weight cuz my fill isnt tight (and I dont follow a diet consistantly)........ I need a fill, but even with one, I HAVE to restrict myself in calories, carbs ect.. OR i wont lose much more.. I am NOT happy about a approximate 75 pound loss in 18 months... I lost pre-op and I lost during a few winter months, ever since I have been gaining and loosing the same 10-15 pounds... but I dont see anymore loosing of those pounds, only more gain. I struggle with extra tightness.. often enough and I respect it.. .. but its inconsistantcy is really annoying, cant plan my diet....have ups and downs with emotions with eating food.. all cuz I just dont know whats ok. I hate that. When I am well restricted and I know basically how restricted I am, I accept it and I dont have all the concerns about food. I dont crave what I know I cant have. (its great) But there are enough times when I am not so tight to allow in too many calories....... and I need a fill... for those times.. I dont want to deal with the times I will be extra tight.. twice as much. I fear I may send myself into a too tight situation like I did a few months ago... and have to accept that my restricition level now is where I have to be.. and where the weight is coming back on. I will get a fill as soon as I have the money.. I wish I could do it now! IF I JUST DIDNT HAVE a SENSITIVE BAND.. IF I was just more consistant.. EVERYTHING would be perfect. If this is it.. I have been left with a smaller scale weight, a flabby nasty body that cannot be contained and maked me look fatter everywhere but the shoulders back and face.. I deal with skin infections now, and lower self body image. The changes, the flab is sooooo different and soooo ugly and sooooo bothersome and so apparent that my weight loss does not seem worth it. My sciatica is worse,.. ewww one day, I feel a rash between my legs, on my inner thighs and buttocks near the gina... it just showed up that big, nothing gradual at all.. I have never in my life had a rash down there... !! I have been 400 pounds and I have been laid up and unshowered and it never ever happened... I have got small rashes of 1/4 the size.. under my belly many times, I soak in a tub and wash those and they go away by the next day.. This rash was NOT like those ones.. this rash was like a burn, raised and leather like, and hurt. Truth is I know about how fat people get rashes.. once I was browsing through a web site of gross pictures and saw two naked ladies about 250 to 300 pounds bending over to show their asses and there huge infected rashes that seemed to me to be untaken care of.. (real bad) I didnt understand it at all.... I felt that anyone could control such a thing if they tried hard enough. I knew that I would never be able to live with such a problem. soooo.... I dont freak out.. I soak in the tub and wash and wash it and assume it will go away after a few soaks... and then I guess I have to take extra steps to keep my new massive flabs clean and tidy. (like I dont have enough to do to keep it all clean down there, I use about 5 wet wipes everytime I pee, and need to..) The next time I soak..... My rash is peeling off in brown skin chunks... I peel and peel and it never ends.... the skin underneath is raw and not healed. I begin to cry my head off. (never had a yeast infection or anything happen down there.. plus my odor has always been faint) I am scraping off skin from that area... unreal. I worry that there will be lasting effects (like i wasnt ugly enough down there)... its like sinking a level of obesity I didnt count on everr.... Especially didnt think of it as an affect of weight loss.. NOW its happened obviously cuz of all the excess flab from my weight loss. I cant keep my thighs from touching in the tub, they float together... and out of the water I have to spread my legs real far before they dont touch.. I would guess the flab added about 6 inches to the size of my inner thighs.. I get up the nerve to take some pictures.. I have to ask my daughter to do it.. and she is nice of course... but after wards I cry for like an hour.. I dont cry alot.. It was really humiliating.. I have took pics of every rash i got so far, but this isnt something I want to tell anyone happened to me.. and how gross to have photographed.. BUT.... I have to think of my future and do all I can if and when I have to fight for my skin cut off as a medical nessesity. My worst fear is that who ever I am talking to about that issue, tells me or implies that I am not really doing all I possibly can to keep clean, or I am lying about never having had any rashes when I was over 400 pounds. and that those are regular rashes that are trypical of obese and nothing extrodinary .. bath more, wear cotton undies.. etc... Deal with it. My flab is so horrible.. I HATE IT.. I dont see why it changed sooo much at so little loss.. GRRRR IF I knew i was going to lose another 150 pounds, and most likey get it all cut off, I wouldnt be so upset over it.. but all I see is.. I am not going to lose enough weight to cut flab off and I now have this deformed body that I hate more than my 400 pound body. Plus if I gain weight and I get to 400 again... OMG, I cant imagine how bad that would look.. Why isnt all of this an incentive to DO WHAT I NEED TO DO...

I am fed up.. I am gaining weight cuz my fill isnt tight (and I dont follow a diet consistantly)........ I need a fill, but even with one, I HAVE to restrict myself in calories, carbs ect.. OR i wont lose much more.. I am NOT happy about a approximate 75 pound loss in 18 months... I lost pre-op and I lost during a few winter months, ever since I have been gaining and loosing the same 10-15 pounds... but I dont see anymore loosing of those pounds, only more gain. I struggle with extra tightness.. often enough and I respect it.. .. but its inconsistantcy is really annoying, cant plan my diet....have ups and downs with emotions with eating food.. all cuz I just dont know whats ok. I hate that. When I am well restricted and I know basically how restricted I am, I accept it and I dont have all the concerns about food. I dont crave what I know I cant have. (its great) But there are enough times when I am not so tight to allow in too many calories....... and I need a fill... for those times.. I dont want to deal with the times I will be extra tight.. twice as much. I fear I may send myself into a too tight situation like I did a few months ago... and have to accept that my restricition level now is where I have to be.. and where the weight is coming back on. I will get a fill as soon as I have the money.. I wish I could do it now! IF I JUST DIDNT HAVE a SENSITIVE BAND.. IF I was just more consistant.. EVERYTHING would be perfect. If this is it.. I have been left with a smaller scale weight, a flabby nasty body that cannot be contained and maked me look fatter everywhere but the shoulders back and face.. I deal with skin infections now, and lower self body image. The changes, the flab is sooooo different and soooo ugly and sooooo bothersome and so apparent that my weight loss does not seem worth it. My sciatica is worse,.. ewww one day, I feel a rash between my legs, on my inner thighs and buttocks near the gina... it just showed up that big, nothing gradual at all.. I have never in my life had a rash down there... !! I have been 400 pounds and I have been laid up and unshowered and it never ever happened... I have got small rashes of 1/4 the size.. under my belly many times, I soak in a tub and wash those and they go away by the next day.. This rash was NOT like those ones.. this rash was like a burn, raised and leather like, and hurt. Truth is I know about how fat people get rashes.. once I was browsing through a web site of gross pictures and saw two naked ladies about 250 to 300 pounds bending over to show their asses and there huge infected rashes that seemed to me to be untaken care of.. (real bad) I didnt understand it at all.... I felt that anyone could control such a thing if they tried hard enough. I knew that I would never be able to live with such a problem. soooo.... I dont freak out.. I soak in the tub and wash and wash it and assume it will go away after a few soaks... and then I guess I have to take extra steps to keep my new massive flabs clean and tidy. (like I dont have enough to do to keep it all clean down there, I use about 5 wet wipes everytime I pee, and need to..) The next time I soak..... My rash is peeling off in brown skin chunks... I peel and peel and it never ends.... the skin underneath is raw and not healed. I begin to cry my head off. (never had a yeast infection or anything happen down there.. plus my odor has always been faint) I am scraping off skin from that area... unreal. I worry that there will be lasting effects (like i wasnt ugly enough down there)... its like sinking a level of obesity I didnt count on everr.... Especially didnt think of it as an affect of weight loss.. NOW its happened obviously cuz of all the excess flab from my weight loss. I cant keep my thighs from touching in the tub, they float together... and out of the water I have to spread my legs real far before they dont touch.. I would guess the flab added about 6 inches to the size of my inner thighs.. I get up the nerve to take some pictures.. I have to ask my daughter to do it.. and she is nice of course... but after wards I cry for like an hour.. I dont cry alot.. It was really humiliating.. I have took pics of every rash i got so far, but this isnt something I want to tell anyone happened to me.. and how gross to have photographed.. BUT.... I have to think of my future and do all I can if and when I have to fight for my skin cut off as a medical nessesity. My worst fear is that who ever I am talking to about that issue, tells me or implies that I am not really doing all I possibly can to keep clean, or I am lying about never having had any rashes when I was over 400 pounds. and that those are regular rashes that are trypical of obese and nothing extrodinary .. bath more, wear cotton undies.. etc... Deal with it. My flab is so horrible.. I HATE IT.. I dont see why it changed sooo much at so little loss.. GRRRR IF I knew i was going to lose another 150 pounds, and most likey get it all cut off, I wouldnt be so upset over it.. but all I see is.. I am not going to lose enough weight to cut flab off and I now have this deformed body that I hate more than my 400 pound body. Plus if I gain weight and I get to 400 again... OMG, I cant imagine how bad that would look.. Why isnt all of this an incentive to DO WHAT I NEED TO DO...

My oppinion (from only reading the firtst post) is that YOU WILL LOSE..!! You will NOT be able to eat two breakfast sands with a nice fill.. I cant even eat those anymore.. and I usually only had one.. You seem to like solid foods and lots of it.. and are not addicted to liquids and lots and lots of junk.. IMO.. your food intake will be cut alot.... If you dont force it.. I also ate fast food almost every single day..... so I have lost some weight,. But I also drank slurpee's, blended coffee drinks, smoothies.... almost daily.. and I drank a gallon of milk and grape, apple or orange juice EVERYDAY without fail and THATS why I am stalled now.. Thats my oppinion anyway GOOD LUCK

On sunday, I fell .... I was at a park/river with at leaste a hundred other people.. I was walking down the rock embankment and I fell.. I tumbled.. I broke my sun glasses I scraped my elbow, both my legs, my entire forearm, I have about 12 bruises My right boob is sore, my chin and the back of my head.. My right foot is swollen and my pinky toe is purple bruised.. Thats just to show how bad I fell... tumbled..... Half the park laughed and half the park was nice ya know. Lots of people asked me if I were ok and were genuinely concerned.. I wasnt hurt so bad.. I told everyone I was fine and I got in the Water.. I wasnt bleeding or nothing.. My foot and toes hurt real bad.. but I was able to walk out and back up the hill successfully... most those 'injuries I didnt feel till the next day" I will say "I WAS sooo embarrassed" oe "THAT was embarrassing" and it was of course... But the truth is I wasnt that embarrassed... I dont get all offended that half the park laughed as an initial reaction.. I didnt think about that until I saw this thread pop up in my inbox notifications..... I understand.. and Thats not cuz I am one of those people who laugh as a first reasction to those kinds of things.. I AM NOT! I am the opposite and to everyone.. but it shows what america is like.. and I am GLAD I am not.. and then I feel so THANKFULL and so PROUD and so GLAD that I am NOT that way.. that feeling bad is kinda hard.. lol But I just dont get that embarrassed..... and I am GLAD.. I have enough problems, enough neggative thinking and enough bad self esteem issues as it is.. Sometimes I get very angry if something is Malicious.. but no one did anything else or said anything to me later....and I was at the park for 5 more hours after I fell... ...........on a better note..... I went to a park today.. with a concert.... and I wore my nicest clothes and I looked nice and I was complimented by 6 people... and I didnt notice anyone do anything to me, as I was prolly the biggest one there... I had a nice time... the worst is seeing all the cute young boys... lol ............ :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

Jack, thank you BUT its totally YOU that gives me encouragement... your the biggest inspiration to me because of the diabeties and sugar and carb control you have overcome.... You amaze me, plus I love your poetic way of posting... this is kinda silly, but I was at Larwood (a river park in scio) and I saw a bearbed man of your age in the water, who reminded me of you, prolly cuz of your avatar but also cuz he was talking to these two overweight ladies about diabeties and he was throwing out numbers and medical talk and they were all interested.... but then he walked out onto land... sorry, I thought it was interestting how I thought of you like that. THANK YOU for being you. lianna, Thank you.. you miss me really? thats sweet.. YES! the water thing.. thats a good thing... I am very proud of that cuz I HATE water.. THANKYOU for noticing!! and I am happy that you heard me as happy and upbeat, I didnt notice till now, but your right.. I do feel alot better.. Marimaru, Jerky isnt for me, and I cant imagine being able to get it down.. but it IS perfect for lowcarb dieting.. my daughter who has gained 25 pounds in the last 6 months(???) LOVES jerky.. thanks for reminding me about it.. I think the baked chips and the low calories chips like wholegrain sun chips and the like are ok as long as you dont eat too many! lol loves to all xoxoxox

tuesday 2 tbs peanut butter 3 peanut butter cookies LOW carb (1cup PB, 1C splenda, 1 egg..bake) ice water, lots (!!) 1/4 serving cheetos (I threw the bag away now) ICe pop (these were on sale for 99cents and been in the freezer, usually I am not tempted, but now I wish I had bought sugar free ones! one can tomatoe soup with water two slices cheese 1tbs parm 2 cups milk (broke down and had a "real meal" and felt great, but paid for it in calorie counts!) 4 ounces grape juice lite 1 cup 1/3 less sugar frosted flakes (stayed up till 3am with Cry, she had some cerial and soooooo I did too) ovalteen 1 cup (I have this thing where I think I need this to sleep..sigh) cal 2107 fat 102 carb 196 pro 88 wednesday 1/2 slice bacon 1 egg 1 tbs cheese 1 tbs sugar free syrup (This meal didnt go down well.. so I didnt eat much at all) Smoothie strawberry (I was hungry and (tight) and all we have is the Big Train full sugar smoothie mix, but I did mix it HALF strength.. I always do to save on it ecconomically anyway) potpie (not low fat not low carb.. but not a big one either) 1 mini bag red hots (SOOOO NOT worth it! NEED TO KEEP it out of house!) 2 low carb peanutbutter cookie dough.balls..(taste ok) 1 low carb peanut butter cookie...(taste nasty) water 1 ounce chicken 1 tbs corn 1 tbs mashed potatoes 1 tsp butter (here I tried to have a tv dinner, was too tight) grape juice lite 1 cup (with pills) ovalteen 12 ounces (now.. 3am.. before bed) cal 1769 fat 78 carb 197 pro 52 IF I can stay under 2000 calories, 300 carbs (most non sugar ones), 100 grams of fat.... I MAY ACTUALLY lose some weight again, SLOWLY but surely.. Its been 5 days and I am amazed at my self... I feel empowered. I feel like I am never gonna let candy rule my life again.. (secret... I been eating tons of candy and chips and smoothies and my hair is falling out... I dont know if its related...(cuz milk has plenty of protein) BUT My hair has NEVER fallen out before. Plus I gained like 20 pounds (I THINK??) Not till these last few days have I realized how tight my band can be when I cant eat chips and candy and drinks all day long..... I was whining to my daughter about it (she hasnt been around the last few days) and she said "but mom, all you can eat is candy and chips.." and she was sincere (she is 15 and knows dang well about junk foods and all that) but I guess I have convinced here that eating anyother way wasnt possible.. it IS, its just not FUN.. lol I had a giant bag of m&m's and I took handfulls whenever I felt hungry and the bag lasted forever... like 2 weeks.. and I tell myself that if I was a true candy hog the bag would be gone... like in a few days... and feel all good just cuz its lasting.. Well, fact is.. I am eating candy all day long... everyday... and THATS BAD>> I am ready to get an attitude against candy... but I dont know.. we are going camping agian (the reason I bought the bag of m&ms before).. for over a week and I cant imagine having to deal with this crap during camp.. BUT I can have BAKED chips and sun chips instead of cheeto's and liter candies.. I dont know.;. dieting sucks ass I cant wait till my "diet" is just normal... and isnt considered a "diet" IF that ever happens.. I dont wanna struggle till I die.. I really dont.