I just have to drop 20 pounds by Augest 7th, thats 16 days..

I have no idea how much I weigh.. but I know its NOT 320, I feel great at 320 and I think I am 15 to 20 pounds from that...

The fair in my favorite town is Augest 8th and I want to go when I feel all great... I know it dont look any different to ANyone else.. But to me, it makes me feel like I have lost weight and that in turn makes me look better cuz I feel better...

so I started my 'diet' yesterday and I totally messed it up..

so I am starting again today..

My history is that I do not suceed at my diets..

But sometimes I still lose weight, so here i Go

its 3pm and I have not cheated yet.. this is MY diet.. and what I know works for me to lose weight, I am not ignorant of how to diet better, I am just doing what I can stick to.

If I do my food log here, it makes me feel more responsible..??

So I eat a bunch of pizza.. the DELITE LOW carb kind...

and I ask to look at the whole pizza after I am done and I ONLY ATE 1/4 of it.. THATS two servings.. according to the website..

WOW.. I think thats awesome..

I am FULL and saticefied!!!!

I wonder how I am going to handle my late night candy cravings.......

We will see..

I should take a valium and pass out and avoiud it all..

(if that worked, I would do it nightly) lol

...........

FAIR FOOD!

Yum.. (this IS the food thread) (meaning I am not so embarrassed to talk about food, lol)

I get to go to the fair 4 days..

I have limited money and so me and my kids get one goody per day.

I already choose mine..

Cheese blimp

Ice cream cone from the dairy

Elephant Ear

???????

SATURDAY Day 1

4 ounces 1% milk (with 2 chopped up vicodan)

One slice of bacon (in two peices, 15 minutes apart)

4 ounces Jet tea smoothie (very diluted)

one slice Cantalope

One hamburger patty (at least 1/3 spit out)

One ounce cheese

2TBS mayo

some mustard

1/4 delite low carb pizza (2 servings)

water (20 ounces. just tasted good with the pizza and FILLED me up too)

crystal lite (about 6 ounces I was able to choke down)

one serving 1/3 less frosted flakes (yes I am measuring)

1 cup 15 milk

calories 1287

carb 92

fat 76

protein 40

Sunday

two bites 1/3 less sugar frosted flakes

and 1% milk (I craved it but I was too tight)

Water with my pills (yeah me)

1 cup Chocolate milk

(at a store buyin ice for the trip to the river, I drank half and gave the other half to a kid, it was 99cents.. I felt like I just HAD to have it..grr )

3 hawiaan punch... full sugar kind

(pretty DANG good for 9 hours at a river in 100 degree heat.. sorry but I am proud of myself here!)

Tortilla chips (2 servings) and 1/2 cup dip

(this was at the river.. I didnt have any hotdog/bun, only chips and dip for 9 hours)

one serving cheetos....

(MY daughter left these in my car and I ate them on the way home after I had resisted the whole time at the river)

one serving low carb pizza..(ate this at home around 10pm)

1 cup grape juice 1/3 less sugar (drank some before bed)

Cal 1901

fat 72

carb 275

protein 20

MOnday

12 ounces 1% milk (AM wake up) (NEED TO get some SUNRISE crystal lite)

1 serving cheetos..(they were laying on the table.. and stale too)

3/4 serving tortillas chips. (craving carbs!)

1 ounce cheese (melted on chips)

ketsup, sour cream 1tbs each

2 bacon and 2 eggs

syrup....2tbs.....(trying to stay low carb and satisfy my "hunger")

16 ounces, grape juice.. 1/3 less (this was in drinks throughout the day)

low carb pizza one serving

With lots of water! (!!!!)

2 cup ovalteen with ice (I was going crazy and it totally worked to cal m me and I went to bed)

cal 1617

fat 67

carb 164

protein 20

OK so I aint gonna lose 20 pounds by the fair!

BUT I am really doing good (FOR ME.. NOT IN GENERAL!!)

tuesday

2 tbs peanut butter

3 peanut butter cookies LOW carb (1cup PB, 1C splenda, 1 egg..bake)

ice water, lots (!!)

1/4 serving cheetos (I threw the bag away now)

ICe pop

(these were on sale for 99cents and been in the freezer, usually I am not tempted, but now I wish I had bought sugar free ones!

one can tomatoe soup with water

two slices cheese

1tbs parm

2 cups milk

(broke down and had a "real meal" and felt great, but paid for it in calorie counts!)

4 ounces grape juice lite

1 cup 1/3 less sugar frosted flakes

(stayed up till 3am with Cry, she had some cerial and soooooo I did too)

ovalteen 1 cup (I have this thing where I think I need this to sleep..sigh)

cal 2107

fat 102

carb 196

pro 88

wednesday

1/2 slice bacon

1 egg

1 tbs cheese

1 tbs sugar free syrup

(This meal didnt go down well.. so I didnt eat much at all)

Smoothie strawberry

(I was hungry and (tight) and all we have is the Big Train full sugar smoothie mix, but I did mix it HALF strength.. I always do to save on it ecconomically anyway)

potpie (not low fat not low carb.. but not a big one either)

1 mini bag red hots (SOOOO NOT worth it! NEED TO KEEP it out of house!)

2 low carb peanutbutter cookie dough.balls..(taste ok)

1 low carb peanut butter cookie...(taste nasty)

water

1 ounce chicken

1 tbs corn

1 tbs mashed potatoes

1 tsp butter

(here I tried to have a tv dinner, was too tight)

grape juice lite 1 cup (with pills)

ovalteen 12 ounces (now.. 3am.. before bed)

cal 1769

fat 78

carb 197

pro 52

IF I can stay under 2000 calories, 300 carbs (most non sugar ones), 100 grams of fat.... I MAY ACTUALLY lose some weight again, SLOWLY but surely..

Its been 5 days and I am amazed at my self...

I feel empowered.

I feel like I am never gonna let candy rule my life again..

(secret... I been eating tons of candy and chips and smoothies and my hair is falling out... I dont know if its related...(cuz milk has plenty of protein)

BUT My hair has NEVER fallen out before.

Plus I gained like 20 pounds (I THINK??)

Not till these last few days have I realized how tight my band can be when I cant eat chips and candy and drinks all day long.....

I was whining to my daughter about it (she hasnt been around the last few days) and she said "but mom, all you can eat is candy and chips.." and she was sincere (she is 15 and knows dang well about junk foods and all that) but I guess I have convinced here that eating anyother way wasnt possible.. it IS, its just not FUN.. lol

I had a giant bag of m&m's and I took handfulls whenever I felt hungry and the bag lasted forever... like 2 weeks..

and I tell myself that if I was a true candy hog the bag would be gone... like in a few days... and feel all good just cuz its lasting..

Well, fact is.. I am eating candy all day long... everyday... and THATS BAD>>

I am ready to get an attitude against candy... but I dont know..

we are going camping agian (the reason I bought the bag of m&ms before).. for over a week and I cant imagine having to deal with this crap during camp.. BUT I can have BAKED chips and sun chips instead of cheeto's and liter candies.. I dont know.;.

dieting sucks ass

I cant wait till my "diet" is just normal... and isnt considered a "diet"

IF that ever happens..

I dont wanna struggle till I die.. I really dont.

Nykee!!!! I been missing you too girl! It sucks to slip or fall off of the diet bandwagon, but glad to see you hopping back on! I notice you are drinking WATER daily!.!.!....that is how you make changes, just take baby steps. Keep with it! I know that you post this for YOUR OWN benefit, but it does help others to see that this can still be a major struggle for some of us. As always I applaud your honesty and I am loving how positive and upbeat you sound!

Nykee, I wonder about you too .

Have you considered beef jerky? Even when I am tight, I can nibble nibble nibble on this stuff, and it's got tons of protien, and is 90 calories per serving. I still haven't found a really good thing to replace chips, but baked is a good start, lol.

Good luck!

Jack, thank you BUT its totally YOU that gives me encouragement... your the biggest inspiration to me because of the diabeties and sugar and carb control you have overcome.... You amaze me, plus I love your poetic way of posting... this is kinda silly, but I was at Larwood (a river park in scio) and I saw a bearbed man of your age in the water, who reminded me of you, prolly cuz of your avatar but also cuz he was talking to these two overweight ladies about diabeties and he was throwing out numbers and medical talk and they were all interested.... but then he walked out onto land... sorry, I thought it was interestting how I thought of you like that.

THANK YOU for being you.

lianna, Thank you.. you miss me really? thats sweet..

YES! the water thing.. thats a good thing... I am very proud of that cuz I HATE water.. THANKYOU for noticing!!

and I am happy that you heard me as happy and upbeat, I didnt notice till now, but your right.. I do feel alot better..

Marimaru,

Jerky isnt for me, and I cant imagine being able to get it down.. but it IS perfect for lowcarb dieting.. my daughter who has gained 25 pounds in the last 6 months(???) LOVES jerky.. thanks for reminding me about it..

I think the baked chips and the low calories chips like wholegrain sun chips and the like are ok as long as you dont eat too many! lol

loves to all xoxoxox

Nykee, you are right "dieing sucks!" I hate the fact that I think about what I am going to eat, should eat, want to eat, have eaten. I wish I would not think about it!!!!

You are a very open and brave person, to post like you do. I commend you for your honesty!

You've done terrific....Shawn

Go Nykee! I really want you to have fun at the fair. I love reading your food journal threads!

I think you may be too tight for whole wheat tortillas, but that's been my substitiute lately for tostitos and wheat thins. Do you do tuna at all?

You have your juice and milk, I have my coffee. With cream and sugar. It's my vice. If I could give up half what I drank every day my numbers would look so much better! BUT! My numbers WITH the coffee look so much better than they would if I didn't have the ever-present mug in my little hands. I can so relate to you in that area!!! (Oh, 'cept I'm not tight).

Anyhow, keep up the good work. I love the water you are drinking, too! I want you to have fun at the fair!!!:clap2: