Indigo1991

OMG, I am so sorry to hear about your friend's son and your sister in law. These things are tough at any time of the year but at Christmas it feels more acute...

If you find your ass, see if mine is there keeping it company, lol. Pilates is also good to build muscles in your butt and easier on the knees.... Good luck!

Life has just been getting better and better, my first Christmas as a normal sized person is shaping up to be great. I still have my worries and struggles - when is enough when it comes to weight loss? Should I have a boob job? Am I eating too much? Then my friend called me last night. Exactly a year ago, he started chemo for leukaemia but despite that, his doctors told him in March that his condition is terminal. Recently, he was told that it looked as if he was going into remission and they have moved back from his "sentence" of having only 18 months left to live to leaving it open ended for now. Things were looking great for him and we are due to have a big night out on the 28th to Celebrate his remission. But his call last night was to tell me that he had gone for a scan and they'd found a tumour on his heart - and he was scared. We talked for an hour, there are some options for treatment then I hung up the phone and cried. Woke up this morning and my first thought was how much I have to be grateful for - my health, my new life, my family and friends - and the prospect of a longer life due to my WLS. My friend has just turned 40. We will take things as they come, as we have done for the last year, and will look forward to 2014 with hope. Merry Christmas to you, I hope you have something to be grateful for this festive season xxx

Did a tour of my favourite restaurants in the two weeks prior to the pre-op diet. Had a lot of nice meals that I really enjoyed. Day before diet started, I went and bought food I thought I would miss - rice, beef, chocolate, Snacks - but strangely enough, I didn't eat any of it. Was so focussed on the forthcoming diet and so ready to make changes, I just wanted to get on with it... bit boring but I was so done with food by then, there was nothing left to eat that gave me a thrill!

Good luck Raine and Betty - we will all be cheering you on! being sleeved is not necessarily easy but it is worth it :-)

CGJ - this one's hot too.... It definitely helps :-)))))

Oh yes, had a very good time ☺

I was really unsure about posting this topic - but I am sooooo glad I did. Yet again, it's good to know I am not the only one struggling with something that should be a normal part of life. And talking about it definitely helps (once I got over the initial embarrassment!) Lipstick, photo evidence? Em, that's probably a selfie too far - but when I get up to the confidence levels of sophiepants and Chellemetime, you'll be the first to see the pic :-)))))) Here's to us!!!!!

Revs, if you are in town we certainly should meet up - pm me the details of the meeting? Now enjoy the warm and fuzzy sensation while it lasts :-)))))

CGJ, I love your story and can relate to it so closely. You may not be meant to be with this man forever, but look at the gifts he's given you. People are in our lives for a reason or a season or for life... He's your man for this moment. You put your finger right on it when you said you lost feeling like a woman. I feel like I just got that feeling back... and it is so exciting!!!!

Yes, CGJ, do tell!!!!!

Very good! I have some friends to share this with....

RJ, no please don't mind your own business, I am genuinely grateful for the advice and support - and thank you for the kind words, which mean a lot. As a keeper of secrets who is trying to be more open, I haven't told many people that my husband cheated on me for years, no-one would believe me. But it rocked me to the core, adding to my eating problems big time. Being fat gave me the excuse that that was why he went elsewhere. But with a clearer brain and feeling more confident, I know that's not the case. So it's taken me until now - and with the help of my sleeve - to find myself again, the girl who 30 years ago would have stripped naked to a band playing, lol. And I won't go for the same kind. I have known this lovely man for 40 years, man and boy, and he adored me fat and thin. Might not be anything long lasting but he will never know the significance of the weekend or the importance of letting me move on..

Sorry off thread - gmanbat, great pic!

Ha ha ha! I am in Scotland, trust me, there will be no need for an APB today, if I stripped the cold would just make me look even more wrinkly But it is such a liberating feeling to no longer fear something that should be pretty natural.... feels like I put down another burden that has been holding me back...

Yup, sometimes well-meaning but misguided, sometimes exactly for the reason you mention - they don't want me to get smaller than them. People can be really funny even if they do want you to do well - that's ok as long as you know your place. And if that's as the fattest person in their group or being fatter than them, then that's where they want you to stop. Smile, thank them and tell them that your doc is supervising and he/she will tell you when to stop at a healthy weight. Then change the subject... Congratulations on your loss to date, fantastic!

Thank you all - if I can't share this with you, who understand the whole weight loss/self doubt thing, who can I tell it to??? Gamergirl, I just don't know if this has long term potential or if he is Mr Right - but he's Mr Right Now! The whole naked thing has been preying on my mind. Apart from the general effects of age on my bod, losing 82lbs leaves its mark. Had also lost so much confidence post-husband, was beginning to think I would be single and never have sex ever again... :-0 Now I know anything is possible and I can actually feel my self confidence has soared. Won't be rushing out to test this new power to get naked with anyone else any time soon - but this is a giant step forward in my new life

Lol, I have been giggling too.... :-)))))

Well, after 3 years on my own following the break up of a 30 year relationship, at the weekend I finally got naked with someone I have lusted after for years.... He didn't run away screaming at my wrinkly, saggy bits. I took my clothes off - ALL OF THEM!!!! And the world didn't end, he didn't laugh and I didn't die of embarrassment. Something for me to add to my list when people ask how my sleeve has changed my life - I can do naked :-))))))) Sorry if is is tmi, but I actually never thought at 52 that I could throw my clothes off with such abandon and without stressing -oh how I love my sleeve!

RJ, just come across this thread - I can't believe what's happened to you! But, as ever, you have kept your humour and sense of perspective while you must be in agony. Hope the pain diminishes soon and that the universe takes a look at itself and says enough for you for now.... I would send you a big hug but I'd better not squeeze you too hard :-)

Am with you RJ. Telling the truth and being vulnerable was, for me, the start of changing my life. It has set me free and has also allowed the people in my life, who have always loved and cared for me, the chance to show that for the first time. It's amazing because they were always there, willing and able, but because of my fear, i kept them at arms length without even realising it. The result is I now know for sure that they really like me for me, warts and all. My vulnerability and honesty has seen them open up to me too, deepening my relationships in a way I couldn't have imagined. Being vulnerable has scared the sh1t out of me but I don't feel so alone - and I am not alone because my friends are right beside me because I have let them in. At times, the outpouring of emotion has been overwhelming and i have wanted to go back in my shell. But my life now has light and shade in a way it never had before and I feel as if I belong to an amazing group of people. Or perhaps I actually feel like I now deserve to belong because if they like me this much, perhaps I was never as bad a person as I believed.... Has taken a long time to get here. I knew the theory of vulnerability and honesty and the positive impact both could have but was too scared to try. Wish I had done it sooner but we arrive where we need to be only when we are ready. Good luck to you if you are struggling with this but please persevere, it is truly life changing, like blowing a hole in a brick wall and letting light flood in...

I travelled from the UK to the US at 6 weeks out and the only thing I struggled with was portion sizes You guys know how to eat!!! I would check local food stuffs to see what you can eat and so that you know what you are eating. At 4 months out, you should have a pretty good range of things on your list so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

RJ, I think I stumble on ever hopeful that this time, things will be different when it comes to other people. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... But I am sorry that you bear such deep scars. I have mine, but I have spent recent years trying to put things in perspective. That has included removing the people who inflicted the wounds on me out of my life. That helps, no constant reminders. I have also tried hard to set aside the things I can't change no matter how much they upset me. Sometimes you just have to put the burden down, walk away and don't look back. What you say is so true - time, healing and getting to know yourself are the keys to surviving, then thriving. I hope you feel you are on the way to that, you have inspired me in recent months, hope you feel you are getting the support back that you need too x

I think it's because, for the first time in my life, I did this without thinking that failing was an option - I didn't have any alternatives left. And it's an attitude - naive or not - that has got me this far. Laura, you are right, no more wasted energy on someone who spoke, moved on and won't have given this a second thought... just shaken me up. RJ, yup a lifelong battle but I feel I now actually have a tool in my armoury that if I do right by it, it will fight alongside me. Maybe it's that hope/belief that has kept me looking forward not back. But a sharp reminder of the power of the mind to bring you down...

So once we are visible, what happens next? I have just had my first truly negative experience because someone said something innocent - but it has triggered my head off in away I didn't expect... Someone complimented me on my weight loss and said I must be having fun shopping. I agreed and said I had now thrown out 27 bags of clothes over the last 8 months ( :-( I know that's a ridiculous amount!). Then she said "Are you so confident you won't need any of those clothes again and that you won't put weight back on?" I stood and gaped at her like a goldfish. Don't laugh at me, but I am so convinced that I won't be fat ever again after going through this, that I haven't even contemplated gaining weight. But what she said threw me and made me feel naive and, frankly, stupid. How can I have come this far and not thought that??? So having hit reality head on, can I go back in my bubble? Life has got in the way in the whole time I have been sleeved but I have done my best to pick myself up, dust myself down and move on. So why am I dwelling on this?