Neal

"Happy tears" I should have said in the title......
So I had my sleeve surgery in Sept of 2013 and reached my initial goal pretty quickly, maybe in 10 months. Then I realized that my "dream goal" was within reach. So I pushed a little further and eventually reached my "dream goal" of 125 pounds, which is about 155 pounds lost. It's been a crazy journey and I couldn't have done it without entering therapy with an amazing therapist to deal with my "food issues" which really aren't "food issues" if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I was approved about 6 weeks ago for a abdominoplasty & panniculectomy and a quick week and a half or so later was in surgery. It's been a struggle since then because I don't think I was quite prepared for the difficult recovery. Or maybe I just wanted it so badly I dismissed what I was hearing. Anyway. All is good now.
I had my 1-month post-op check up yesterday and my surgeon cleared me to start running again (YAY...not that I feel that I could yet...but...YAY) and said he was super pleased with how my incision was healing. Up until this point I had dermabond tape over my incision and I had to keep it "dressed" (covered in bandages and taped up) with binder on top. Everytime I showered or changed my dressing I made it a point not to look in the mirror because I kind of wanted a big reveal, you know? So at the appointment he removed everything and said I was good to go. Side note: I will still wear my binder for a bit longer because he had a LOT of ab muscle repair to do and I still feel pretty weak and just weird in there because sometimes I can feel the internal stitches poking a bit according to him, "because I'm so thin"....which is SO strange to hear someone say about me. Weirdest ever.
Anyway....so I rushed home, ran up to my bedroom to the full length mirror, took off my clothes and stood in the mirror crying my eyes out. It's so freaking amazing not to have all of that extra hanging skin there reminding me of who I used to be, and how I used to basically abuse myself with food. I couldn't believe it was me I was looking at. Totally overcome with emotion. I will always have a faint scar, and I'm glad because I never want to completely forget where I was lest I go back, but what a mental change for me to have that "excess baggage" gone. For the first time I "feel" thin.
I'm not brave enough to post before/after pics yet. I want the scar to heal a bit more. The surgeon said he take the 'after" pic at the 3 month appointment, so maybe then I'll post them. But for now..... I'll let you all have a peek at my new little belly button. It used to be a freaking canyon.....seriously..... Just this alone is such a confidence booster and change.
this whole journey has just been freaking amazing and now i need to figure out how just to maintain. No losing, no gaining.....just stay put.

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.

Hi everyone. I'm now over 5 years out and I have plenty of sleeved friends who HAVE gained weight. Some, significantly, others not too much. Do not think sleevers don't gain weight, because they can and do. Of my group of friends (10 or so), 2 did not have much success at all. And what I mean is they lost about 50lbs and started regaining and are still obese today. One of those 2 is further out than me and the other is 3 years out. As for the rest of the group, they have ALL gained weight to one degree or another with the exception of myself and a man. All the rest are women. And here's the difference. The man I'm referring to has an extremely active job and as for me, I still weigh and measure and log my food and exercise a lot. So there you have it. The minute my friends got back into the pleasure trap of the standard American diet, well you guessed it ...they gained. And, by the way, the one gal in our group that has an RNY, has remained successful as well and she's further out than me. But she's strict on her food. I'm just telling it like it is, the further out you get the easier it is to gain. And it happens to a lot of us. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I want everyone to be prepared for a life long fight. A fight we now have a chance at winning! Be smart with your tool.
Laura

Hint..........You have a brand new "BABY" stomach.............think of it that way. While your baby grows and the more food you feed it, their stomach get larger.
You now are that baby. If you want your stomach to stay small, you will eat correctly and not eat what is NOT good for you. or.... you can eat crap food and end up right where you started.
This is why most fail. They do not realize they were given a second chance and they mess it up, not the doctor, not the friends.....they did it to themselves.
Just eat the right size portions, eat when you are hungry only, and realize they did surgery on your Stomach not your Brain. Only you can change your way of thinking.
Annamarie

My surgery was on 10/7/13. I started at 380 lbs; now I'm 227. I have maintained my weight within 2 lbs for about 3 months now.
  

My surgery was on 10/7/13. I started at 380 lbs; now I'm 227. I have maintained my weight within 2 lbs for about 3 months now.
  

Hellooooo ! Surgery date was October 21 2013 Surgery Weight - 304lbs Current Weight - 165lbs My goal is anywhere from 130lbs to 145lbs I am 5'5, 24, New Yorker
I exorcise constantly & LOVE it. Cardio especially! Getting my skin removal surgery in early October

HW 370 lbs
SW 350 lbs
CW 235 lbs
I've lost a total of 135 lbs!!!! It not been quite a year yet, I'm still going strong. Hit a plateau, but I'm back on track!

Hey Neal you are doing awesome. I was sleeved on 10/14/13 surgery weight was 384; today 10/13/14 i'm 253. I've been stalled give or take 5lbs for the last 2 months and it's a bit frustrating. However, seeing your results has inspired me to try harder to reach my goal weight of 210.
Keep up the good work man I know it's not easy.
Ken

My surgery was on 10/7/13. I started at 380 lbs; now I'm 227. I have maintained my weight within 2 lbs for about 3 months now.
  

My surgery was on 10/7/13. I started at 380 lbs; now I'm 227. I have maintained my weight within 2 lbs for about 3 months now.
  

Checking in. Started at 380. Sleeved 10/7/13. Currently at 258, down 122. Hope to make another 50 lbs or so.

Our surgeon gave us the best advice ever. He said do not eat 3 meals a day, eat only when you are hungry, and really hungry. This works so well for us because we were both sleeved. I keep things such as fresh guacamole, chicken salad, cole slaw, string cheese, boiled eggs, tuna salad, in the fridge for a bite or two during the day, and at 5 months post sleeve we are having a light meal a day, such as the Greek salad we shared for dinner last night. We take good Vitamins, our labwork has been great. I have found the more I eat the hungrier I seem to get. I was told at 3 months out to back off eating so much Protein, to drink no more Protein shakes, so I make sure I have veggies added in daily now.

Checking in. Started at 380. Sleeved 10/7/13. Currently at 258, down 122. Hope to make another 50 lbs or so.

Yes, the trials are so much greater in maintenance. And as a slow loser anyway, it can seem like an insurmountable challenge when I need to lose a "mere" five pounds. I have said it over and over again but it will never sink in to a newbie until they're there themselves. The real struggle is not losing the weight. It's keeping the weight off. Maintenance requires so much more diligence than loss.
I forget this myself at times but the very most important thing a person can do is WEIGH.
Do not avoid the scale. Weigh every single day in maintenance, or every few days at the least. If you avoid the scale, it's easy to "forget" your weight or dismiss poor eating habits until your pants get tight. And with those stretchy jeans for women nowadays, that can mean you've packed on ten pounds before you realize it!
Tracking calories and planning meals comes secondary. It's that scale (or your measurements, or how your clothes fit, or whatever you use to measure yourself at goal) that tips you off to a problem immediately. I'm not saying expect to see the same number every day. But find that happy range and stay within it, and make adjustments when overdo it and step over the line. This way you catch issues immediately and don't have a ten, fifteen or twenty pound regain to tackle.
~Cheri

I started at 380. Surgery on 10/7/13. Currently at 258. 122 down and 48 to go.

I was sleeved just a few weeks before you and my NUT says I shouldn't be taking in more than 800 calories per day max. I know that sounds rough, but its not that bad.
I would reduce your calories by at least 1000 per day and cycle them throughout the week so you have some days that are significantly lower than your highest calorie day. I usually do roughly 500, 700, 900 then repeat. Its how I've avoided any weight loss stalls during this process and I lose a steady 3 pounds per week.

I lost all m weight. If you stick to Protein first and a little veggies when you have room, you can't help but lose.
Try not to worry. Of course if you cheat and eat candy which goes down very easily. that will change everything.
You can do it if you are dedicated to following the rules and adding some exercise in.

I've had these pictures since my surgery on Oct. 7, 2013; I just never got around to posting them. Thought someone might like to see them. I asked Dr. Jeffrey Hannon if he would take a before and after of the stomach itself during surgery. He said, "Sure, I'll stick my iPhone in there and snap a couple!" Funny.



This is the stomach (the very large pink organ) as he found it at the beginning of the procedure.





This is the stomach after the procedure. Very small, makes sense that it will only hold a few ounces.





This is the portion of the stomach that has been cut out, waiting to be extracted through the belly button.

Dr. Hannon just laid it back over the area it had been in to give a sense of how much was being removed.





The yellowish tissue is fat. Yeah. Ugh.

I've had these pictures since my surgery on Oct. 7, 2013; I just never got around to posting them. Thought someone might like to see them. I asked Dr. Jeffrey Hannon if he would take a before and after of the stomach itself during surgery. He said, "Sure, I'll stick my iPhone in there and snap a couple!" Funny.



This is the stomach (the very large pink organ) as he found it at the beginning of the procedure.





This is the stomach after the procedure. Very small, makes sense that it will only hold a few ounces.





This is the portion of the stomach that has been cut out, waiting to be extracted through the belly button.

Dr. Hannon just laid it back over the area it had been in to give a sense of how much was being removed.





The yellowish tissue is fat. Yeah. Ugh.

Checking in:
HW: 380
SW:360
SD: 10/07/13
CW: 285
WL: 75 lbs
TWL: 95 lbs

I think a lot of it has to do with your mind set as well. It was strange because I just "knew" I would be okay. It was instinct for me. I had envisioned exactly how I was going to feel when I got out of surgery and how I was going to recover before I had it. I made up my mind that I was going to be successful before I even began and I think that is so important on this journey. Especially, and you'll understand what I mean when I say this about 3-5 weeks in, every single day can be different. You'll experience different things and feel different things. One week you'll be like "screw carbs!" and the next week you're calling people carb nazi's because the idea of not eating a sandwich again in life is disturbing (just do a search under my name.. it's tragic. Laura can vouch for that... lol).

Sleeved 10/7
Starting weight 380
Operation day 361
Current weight 334
Haven't had any issues with Water or nausea. I have overeaten twice by not measuring my food. That will never happen again. It hurt so bad. Starting to feel really good though.

Keep reading about people who miss eating, who miss/crave certain foods, who wish they could eat more. I know that's true for some people and they are the ones who post. But I do believe that a lot of people are where I am.
I really LIKE that I can't eat too much food.< /p>
Yes sometimes I wish I could have a bite of something unhealthy, but the desire passes in less than 3 seconds.
I really LIKE that I can go out to restaurants and focus on friendship, camaraderie and conversation and not worry about the food.
I really like not constantly having to think about food. That I only think of it when I'm hungry rather than all the time.
I really, really like that I no longer spend my waking hours wondering what diet, super food, eating plan I should try next to lose my weight.
I really enjoy the feeling that I am in control, rather than feeling the food controls me.
I don't think I'm in the minority. I think this is like complications. People who had tough recoveries post, people whose recoveries were simple don't post. But for the pre-ops, I think it may be important to see that not everyone is struggling with missing food.
Are you like me? Will you post your experience here so others can see?

I was also sleeved on 10/7 and am doing well. I wasn't allow anything to drink for 24 hours after the surgery, so on 10/8, when I got some Water to sip, I threw it right back up. Only it didn't look the same as the stuff going down. It was pretty gross looking. Only happened twice and then I could sip with no issues. The gas pains were pretty intense until the night of the 9th. I went to bed and woke up around 2 or 3 am, and was expelling gas pretty good. I only have soreness around my belly button now where they repaired a hernia and pulled my stomach through. I also have a desk job, but my wife, who is a nurse, is insistent that I not go back yet. She (and my doctor) says one week isn't enough time for the healing to be done. I went to Sunday morning meeting yesterday and was gone a couple of hours total. After my shower and getting dressed, I was exhausted. But I wanted to go anyway. By the time I got home, it was all I could do to undress and fall in bed. I slept 2.5 hours. This morning, I still feel good. Down 30 lbs total; 20 lbs before surgery on liquid diet and 10 lbs since the surgery.