NeverBeTheSameAgain

Sleeve sister, im scheduled for June 3rd as well....we are going 2 rock this sleeve...see you on the losers bench.

I havent been sleeved yet BUT I got to have it and I HOPE that my sex drive does not change. My goal in LIFE, is for my man 2 pick me up against that wall and go for it. If he tried 2 pick me up now BABBBBYYYY he would be in the hospital. I like em tall 6'3 and slim 215lbs, so imagine him trying 2 pick me up...lmaoooooooooo but I hear it gets better & I cant WAIT 2 find out!!!!! Im with Niquej, I need it and I like it rough. :wub:

Sorry yall! Me: "u must have the wrong #", Keisha: "do u kno Josh?"..Me: "yes thats my husband" Keisha: ur husband, Josh cant be married, he is over here EVERY day and some nights as well. Me: (starts 2 cry) well since u didnt know YES, he is married and we have a son. Keisha: I knew about his son, he has brought him over here before Me: (complete anger) Well let me tell u this, u better not EVER call my phone again and if u continue 2 mess with my family I will find u and it wont be pretty. Keisha: I dont have 2 come for him, he keeps coming for me (hangs up). I started crying & I grabbed my baby, I held him for what seemed like hrs & of course Josh is not home. I got up, went into the kitchen to make the baby a bottle..I cooked, cried & ate! Probably 2 hrs later, here comes Josh thru the door....I didnt even know what 2 say 2 him. I put the baby 2 sleep, then I told him we need 2 talk. We sat dwn & I told him everything she told me & he said, she doesnt mean anything & he's not going 2 tlk 2 her anymore" & this bastard actually started crying...lol A few weeks went by, me & Josh were laying in bed tlkin...he said baby, the Lord called me 2 preach, I looked at him, he was crying & I said u cant be serious, he said that he is very serious & he was going 2 change his ways & he was so sorry 4 all of the things he's ever done 2 me blah blah blah. Time went on & Keisha called again 2 tell me that Josh needs 2 bring her cd's back 2 her...she said they got in a fight the day after she tlked 2 me & she hasnt seen or heard from him since. I have 2 say, I had a sense of relief but I was still so hurt. I dont think she actually wanted any cd's but she just wanted 2 know what was going on. Anyway, 1 night we were sitting in Bible study & Josh said, "I have 2 tell u something, I will tell u after church." I had that bubbly feeling in my stomach like wht is it now but it cant be bad after all he is a "preacher" now. After, church was over we got in the car & I said "whats up now?" He said, " I dont know how 2 tell u this but Keisha found me & she saying that she is pregnant! I just looked at him & I said " U know what, I hate u..I wish I had never met u, I shoulda listened 2 all of the things my moma had 2 say about u, then I wouldnt have 2 feel like this..Is she really pregnant? He said, "I dont think so but she say she is." I turned & looked out of the window as we drove all the way home & I could remember having a feelin of rage, thinkin that I should kill him but if I did my son would be left without either 1 of us. When we got home, he begged me 2 forgive him, he said he has not seen her in months nor has he tlked 2 her. I believed him BUT I told him, if she is pregnant then u didnt protect urself & therefore was not worried about my life at all, ur selfish! The rest of the week was completely quiet in the house, I didnt say anything 2 him & he didnt say nothing 2 me. On sunday, we went 2 church & I watched him sit in that pulpit like he had it all 2gether, I left out of the back with the baby & we just sat in the back of the church as I cried. I was wondering tho, why wont I leave him, whats wrong with me? After church, he came lookin for me, I told him the baby was crying so I brought him out 2 walk around for awhile. We got in the car, went home & his phone started ringing from a private #...so of course I was listening real close as I COOKED dinner, he said, "what, where, ok man give me a minute"...so I came out if the kitchen & he said, "Im going 2 the store real quick & I will be right back". I looked at him & rolled my eyes as he left, he was gone about 30 mins, when he walked thru the door...he said, "I seen Keisha at the store & she still says that she is pregnant & I dont think she is, she didnt have any papers 2 prove it." I looked at him & said , "u left out of here 2 meet her?" He said, "I had 2 know." At that moment, I felt like he needs me...while I look back I see exactly how stupid I was for just stayin there taking whatever he dished out because I never had a family so I wanted 2 keep mine 2gether..I was a fool & I fooled myself in2 thinkin that he loved me. Anyway, we moved 2 another apt. (we moved 13 times the entire marriage smh), while we were cleaning the apt we were movin from...Josh left his phone in the kitchen while he went 2 take the last load 2 the new apt. Of course I looked thru it but I was shocked because I didnt see ANYTHING outta place, until I READ the messages. He had alot of messages back & forth between him & a dude named "Kenneth"...so I read them. One message said, "I'm not about 2 run after u behind ur baby...if u want 2 be in this baby life u need 2 say that or leave me alone" another read, "come see me 2day & bring me some of that ice cream u brought monday" another read, "are you going 2 leave her or what." As I put the phone back dwn Josh comes RUNNING thru the door tlkin about he left his phone, this time I wasnt going 2 play the good wife & not say anything. When he came in the room I was in I started punching him everywhere...he had a fight on his hands 2day & I wasnt going 2 stop until 1 of us was going 2 the hosp. After about 1 hr of fightin he threw me on the ground & he kicked me, he said, "im am not going 2 leave my kids behind because u want me 2, if thats my baby ima be there for it, rather u like it or not." We went 2 the new place & I was in the bathroom crying by this time my baby could tlk & he said, "what's wrong mommy?" What do I tell my baby, I couldnt tell him what was really wrong all I could say was "mommy dont feel good baby", he said, "ur stomach hurt, u hungry?" I cried more & said, Yes baby lets get something 2 eat." Days went by, weeks went by & Keisha was calling the house like everything was all good, she told me that she was getting an abortion because she didnt want 2 bring a baby in2 the world like this & that she didnt want 2 mess up my family. Are u serious, u dont think u already done that? That next week I went 2 the doctor he weighed me, I was 426 lbs & he told me that I had PCOS & that I would never be able 2 have kids again & since I had 1 already 2 be glad. I went home devestated, & with my stupid self I told Josh that maybe they should keep the baby because I wouldnt never be able 2 give him that again. I was depressed, devestated & for days I cried & ate all the time. Maybe a week went by & Keisha called 2 tell us that the next day she was aborting the baby & could she come over 2 tlk 2 Josh for a few minutes. He said, Yes come on over. I wondered, how could he be so disrespectful 2 me, why would he say yes 2 her coming over? So he went outside 2 tlk 2 her & he came in 2 hrs later, I asked wht happened & he said, "she told me how u been tlking about my mom, she told me how u been calling her everyday forcing her 2 get that abortion, this is all ur fault." I couldnt believe that he was blaming me for his screw up & she was lyin on me just 2 try 2 tear us apart. He slept on the couch, me & the baby in the room..in the morning he woke up & he was throwin up & all quiet so I assumed maybe he's sick. Later that day I called Keisha, I said, "are u ok?" she said, "yea,why?" I said, "didnt u have that abortion 2day, she said," Oh yea, Im good." I knew then that something here just aint right. So, as the weeks & months rolled by I didnt hear anything else about or from Keisha until 1 day Josh came home & he said that he had seen Keisha & confronted her about the abortion papers, he said he asked for a reciept or paperwork from her even being pregnant in the 1st place because he believed it was all a lie. Come 2 find out it was! With my stupid self, I felt bad for him that she played him like that but at the same time he DESERVED it! Things started 2 look up, Minister Josh was trying 2 act better, now dont get me wrong, he was so much fun 2 be around, very smart & had lots of things 2 tlk about all the time but he was a *****! I guess being on the right path was old for him, I found out about more & more women, he even had a std from 1 of them...the baby was growing up & I was getting bigger...we moved maybe 3 more times since then, him cheating became the norm as sad as that sounds. Women were calling me, sending me messages on myspace it was awful. Well, in our new place 5 yrs later I was cooking some quesadillas (if thats how u spell it) & I went 2 lay dwn after I ate but I was feelin really sick & I was thinkin I over did it on the cheese & stuff. So in the middle of the night I had 2 go 2 the bathroom & when I got done there was ALOT of blood but it was from my stool...so of course I was scared & I went 2 the doctor the next day...she said let me run some test, it will take a few days 2 get the results but let me give u some anti inflammatories for ur stomach. Cool, got my prescription & we left. A few days went by & I got a call from the doctor who said, Mrs. White, dont take that medicine that gave u becuase u're pregnant!" TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate bras..lol

Congratulations, ur about to be a looser...lol Same here I got my approval and I am scheduled for June 3rd and liquid diet starts 2morrow. See u on the loosers bench!!!!

This forum is completely supportive and I have found SEVERAL friends here...but sometimes we want support from certain ppl bcuz we love them so much and we expect them to except us in everything we want to do, or places we want to go ect. I kno that I would be devestated if my mom said those things and not tlked to me since then, it hurts and she is scared, uninformed, worried and thats maybe all she knows...BUT u need this to save UR life not hers. Nobdy really knows how u feel when ur in the car by urself, when ur in the bathroom looking in the mirror, when u've been invited somewhere and ur scared about what ppl might say....only u know ur reasons for coming to this decision in the 1st place and by all means this is NOT THE EASY WAY OUT. The easy way, is to just stay on the road ur on, do nothing about it and just die. U be encouraged and if u need more support message me or any1 of us and we will help u thru this. We are all in this 2gether!!!!!

Where do I begin? I have always been on the heavy side, even as a kid. When I was in grade school all the way 2 college I found out just how cruel ppl can be. I was always the pretty fat girl & that bothered me, so I transformed myself into sombdy I wasn't. I would tell jokes about myself b4 anybody got the chance 2 & I was mean/confrontational. Ppl were scared 2 say something about me & if they did they didnt say it so I could here it or else! They had no idea that I really would cry if they tlked 2 loud 2 me but I didnt care..I was good at it. At graduation, which is supposed 2 be the happiest time of ur life, when I walked across the stage this boy said "now thats a big girl"..I died inside but I slapped the hell outta him infornt of EVERYBODY even his guest at the ceremony. Time went on & I met a guy, we begin 2 date while I was in college & I was SO in love with him because he gave me the attention I NEVER had. I started slacking in school & 1 day while I was home for the weekend, I told my cousin that I had missed my cycle, so we went 2 buy a test & the results were positive...omg, I thought my mother was going 2 kill me. Clearly she didnt because I'm typing this blog...lol but during that pregnancy I gained 80lbs, they labeled me as high risk & I had to have a c-section. While I was being preped the doctor told me u dont need 2 have any more kids because you are too big. Who the hell tells sombdy that while they're about 2 have a baby? I felt so bad, like I didnt deserve 2 have my baby but anyway 1/24/03 at 11:36 am, I had a healthy baby boy. Ok, so now I'm home from the hosp & my kids dad, is staying out all night & sleeping all day...so I had 2 do everything on my own, with a wound from the c-section. Time went on & then I dropped out of school because I couldnt depend on his father 2 work because he was still doing the same old stuff...but I realize that the more he did nothing the more I ate. When my son turned 11 months stupidly I married his dad. The 2nd week in our own place, I realized that he was starting 2 act strange so lke every women, I began 2 investigate him lol. Weeks went by & we got our 1st phone bill and I seen a # on it i didnt recognize, so I called it...a woman answer & said "hey baby", I said "excuse me" & she hung up..so now I knew it was something going on. I confronted him & he said it was nothing & I was crazy. I could remember going in2 the kitchen cooking a BIG dinner, he thought I was trying 2 poison him but I just wanted 2 eat something. I was out of control of the things going on around me but the 1 thing that I COULD control was what I ate. Over the next several years, it was woman after woman & because " I LOVED HIM" I stayed with him & I just ate & ate. One year, we had moved in2 a new place & he got a job doing security, he loved it! I was so happy because he wasnt working the entire marriage, my family & I were pulling the load. Well one night he got up & left for work...dressed, he had a lunch & was goin 2 be on time. Well around 9 oclock, I called him & there was no answer...so I waited a while & called again, still no answer..so I went 2 sleep. When he got home the next morning I asked him what happened & he said he was tired & went to bed. I looked thru his phone & saw he was txting a girl that he apparently just met because it was begining stuff, so I wake him up, confronted him & he said "Im a grown man I do what I want 2". I started crying & left the room only 2 go make me & my baby a BIG bowl of ice cream, so I could try 2 make myself feel better. A few months went by, he lost his job becuase he stopped going, & he was dropping me off at work every morning and taking the baby 2 school, so I thought things were getting better...until I get a private phone call from a girl named Keisha. She asked me who I was because my name was in her man's phone. TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I am pre op BUT I had my last son thru c-section on top of the stomach and I had stalpes all the way down to the belly botton and I can tell u this...trying to lay down is NOT an option, try to sit up as much as possible bcuz that burning and stinging is from the staples pulling the skin. When u put on ur clothes cover it with something that wont snag it and tape it if u have to bcuz the last thing u want is for them to get infected I covered my staples with pads and then I put a warm towel on them and that made it more comfortable. I dont kno if that helps but I can tell u this once they're out...u will feel MUCH better. Hope u feel better soon.

I am so sorry to read this, I also went thru so many chnges trying to get an approval. I have cried, screamed, been happy, been mad and ready to go blow up some offices...lol I dont kno how religious u are but this weight is a form of bondage and God does not want us to remain in bondage, so therefore if you trust him he will fix this in your favor...he gives us the desires of our hearts and if ur heart is like mine being here for my sons without limitations on their life is ALLLLL I could ever hope for. So hang in there, if its urs cant NOBDY take it...not that clinic or the insurance company.

Congratulations on ur surgery...praying for u

I wanna thank each and every 1 of u bcuz without this forum, I think I would be completely lost. I have support from my family but nobdy has had to take these measures...hell nobdy is even this big BUT I am glad that I have all of you to cry with, vent to, and whteva else I may need to do after this is done. Again thank you for making me feel normal and not crazy for feeling this way

I have been in "the process" to get the sleeve since October 2012. I have done all the things that they required me to do! Now, I recieved THE call this morning that I am approved and the date they gave me is now OFFICIAL! The problem is as I waited I was so pumped and doing EVERYTHING they required but after the nurse called me I AM COMPLETELY SCARED and I said, "this is really happening". I have never been this full of emotions in my life...Im scared, im nervous, im anxious, im worried, im confused, im happy and some other things I cant even express, but WHY? I have come this far to feel like THIS, I dont get it

I have been overweight mostly my whole life & it didnt effect me having my son's BUT it prevents me from being the best mom I can be to them. I limit my boys all the time when they ask me if they can do things and I say no because I am worried about where I have to park, or how far we have to walk, or what will the seats be like when we get in there, how many ppl will look and whisper, if I do take them what will they expect me to be doing while we there ? after ? when all they wanna do is go have fun with mom. Then 1 day the school called me and said my 10yr old was in a fight in class, when I got my baby home I asked him what happened and he said this boy kept calling u fat and I got mad and we started fighting, that killed me ont the inside because here he is defending me and Im supposed to be protecting him. I went to the hospt one time with shortness of breathe and they admitted me, the doctor came to my room and told me INFRONT of my mom, kids and granny that they were worried about me having blood clots in my lungs BUT they couldnt do a CAT scan on me because I was to big to fit in the machine. So totally embarrassed, I was thinking so I could die and they wouldnt even know why or even try to help me. My baby boy asked me moma are you going to die & I knew then that I had to do something. Ppl are always staring and children are always saying she is big and it kills me everytime on the inside. I was married for 7 yrs and for 7yrs he cheated with different women and that just killed my self esteem and I got bigger and bigger each yr. To this day if he gets mad at me about the kids ir something the 1st thing he says is something about me being fat! Look the camels back is broken and he has died a horrible death...so that is it, Im doing it JUNE 3 is my date.

Harlie6pak35, we are in the same boat....scoot over. They gave me a date and I have to wait till things are approved as well. I really wish they didnt give out the date until it was already approved because it just makes you so anxious and nervouse WAITING for them. UGHHHH, I am tired of waiting...I just emailed my case worker for some kind of update....so nerve wreaking

Here I am, saying Im going back the week after surgery...lol I think Im different from most ppl, if I stay at home I am not going to walk and I eat alot whn I stay home sad but true...so I have to get back out there and get to work.

300lbs

Sleeve sisters...lol thats my date to yeaaaaaaaaa

June 3rd here and I can't wait....im so anxious BUT im ready NOWWWWWWWWW

U look great...I am extremely happy for u!!!!!! LOOSER

U look awesome....I am so happy for u, you're on the loosers bench now...lol

I totally understand how u feel. I was really dwn just last week, coming to this forum to voice that really lifts ur spirits when u see how many ppl are there to encourage u and who have also been where were trying 2 go. I hope u feel better, we are ALMOST there and we will be on the loosers bench in no time.

I will be ur friend Alex and we can be scared, happy, worried and anxious together...welcome to the team and soon we will be on the LOSERS BENCH

Its all up to u...personally, I think it will be some ppl u will want to tell and some u dont want to tell. After, I have my surgery, if I feel like tellin it I will and if not I will tell them none of their damn business...just like that. U dont have to answer to anybody, the choice u made was for YOU!!!! U know what u had to deal with being overweight, so u dont owe anybody an explanation. I am not a good liar, because I will forget what I said before and to whom, so by all means do what makes YOU comfortable. good luck honey

I just have to say this, my granny told me "baby girl, ppl are going to tlk about u rather ur doing good or bad, they tlked about Jesus Christ and he saved us all"....and to this day I reflect on that. Ppl see others as a threat only because they are insecure in themselves and they see something in u that they wish they were or had. Now as far as those men go, girl I would tell them "back then u didnt want me, now I'm hot and u all on me"....I have a sayin, if u didnt want me whn I was fat, ur surely not gonna want me when Im skinny...lol

My GOAL in life!!!!! Baby ima cross my legs even while im sitting on the toliet honey. I cant wait to be able to do all those things that ppl never even think about. Look out boo daddy cuz these legs will be crossed. hahaha