CharmingTortoise

I've never had anyone ask me, yet. However, when my brother-in-law was having it done, I thought that he didn't really look big enough to have it done. Once I saw him after he'd lost the weight though, Holy Cow! I barely recognized him. I wonder if folks just get used to us looking the way we do and don't really "see" us.

It's sad.. but it seems like a reaction that people have in case things go wrong.. they can be like "I tried to stop them!". Overall, I try to believe that people like that have good intentions. They tend to also have bad listening skills when it came my turn to talk. I'm not sure why, but I think it has to do with fear.
For myself, I balanced the "What could go wrong & how likely/unlikely it is to happen" versus "What is going to happen to me if I don't get this surgery & continue on like I have been".

I know it sounds shallow but her wedding is in October and i am going to look hot when I'm there! !!

I disagree with the ignore it advice. People behave badly because they are allowed to get away with it and if you don't speak up it will just continue. Trust me! I have a whole family like that. You need to call her on it, in front of a witness. Just do it in the most kind, respectful way you can. Tell her you are not one of her patients. Tell her this was not an easy decision and that you are really working hard. Tell her you could really use her unconditional love and support and not her criticism. If she really cares for you, she will choose to be supportive. If she doesn't, that's when you should start ignoring it. The best tool I have found for my weight loss success was not my sleeve. It was finding enough love for myself to find my own voice. To stand up for myself and stop allowing my abusers to hurt me! You can do it too. You don't have to be hateful about it, but you certainly don't deserve to continue to be hurt or put down. Some people are just so full of themselves they can't see the pain their actions cause others. Give her the benefit of the doubt first. After all, isn't that what you would want for yourself? Best wishes!

Her rock. Her backpack. You don't have to carry her rock in your own backpack.....give it back to her. It's amazing how lite our backpack becomes when we give others their rocks back.

Gosh, hope she's professional & positive with her patients and that attitude doesn't creep out.

I'm on day day 9 of my 14-day pre-op diet (800 calories or less/day) and feel most fatigued at night. Are you all taking your Vitamins like you should? And getting in your Water? Even mild dehydration will fatigue you, make you irritable or weepy.

You know... Thinking about it... I feel the EXACT way I did in the few weeks before I had my first child.
3 weeks before she was born I started thinking...
1. I'm not ready
2. What if I'm not good at this
3. How could I give up 'MY LIFE' ... The only way of life I e ever known!
Long story short... I would not change my decision to have my daughter in my life ( or my son who followed shortly after ).
Life is about choices... Following through on our decisions. I believe that God has lead me to where I am currently, has cleared the path for me ( as the approval process was without any issues- even when I tried to dream some problems up ) and has blessed me with the loving supportive husband, brother, sister.
I'm going to take it on!
One hour at a time! I've always thought I was an 'displaced alcoholic' - food being my addiction.
I'm going to take it hour by hour, which quickly turns in to days, weeks and one day... I will notice its been YEARS!

If it is stressing you out that bad, I would not pre pre diet. Just wait until you start your Optifast. It was hard for me not to have a food funeral everyday and I eventually realized that I was just making it that much harder on myself for after surgery. I was a nervous wreck the day of surgery and considered walking out of the hospital a few times lol. Just take a breather, and think about all the good things that are about to come for you!! I am 31 days out and down 35 pounds. You can do this!!!

You are amazing! It is so inspiring to hear how well you're doing. I'm starting from a similar weight, although shorter. I had a sad chuckle the other day at the doctor's office when I realized I still had another 160 to lose before I went from "super obese" to "morbidly obese". So I really applaud what you've already accomplished to hit that milestone. What kind of exercise program are you doing?

Some friends and my husband went to Cheesecake Factory last night. Don't get excited, I scoured the nutritionals and finally found a appetizer salad for 390 cal. It was not easy to find something if you go there but it was very good.
Now to my NSV. My husband and I were sitting in the booth part of a table that had two chairs and no one was sitting next to me on my side. Later I needed to go to the rest room. I carefully got up and before weight loss I had to turn sideways and be very careful that my big butt did not land on the other people's table. Last night I walked out straight on. No sideways, no getting in people's food. It was great.

I technically passed my psych eval but was told that I needed to re-establish a relationship with my counselor. That was part of my requirements by the behaviorist to address my emotional eating issues. I was also told that my mental state had to be stable for a year before I could have the surgery because I have Bipolar II. So I'm not sure if my case was different because of the known mental issues or if it is standard for people that they see as 'questionable.' Then again, I came into the behaviorist appointment already making positive changes for the surgery like giving up soda, getting 64oz of Water a day, not drinking 15 minutes before/45 minutes after meals, evaluating my eating habits, etc.
Maybe it's just like everything in life, YMMV.

I think you did way better than I would have in this situation. Tell him he's lucky it wasn't something heavier than a napkin Maybe the pressure is just getting to all of you. I'm sure it has to be slightly stressful on him as well, though not near as much as you are feeling.
Take the triumph that you didn't give into temptation.

Laura, I say count it as a victory!!! You didn't eat anything. If the worst you did was cuss at your husband and throw a napkin at him you did good! I have a husband and kids and I know it's hard!!! Give yourself a pat on the back and go take a hot bubble bath!!

So I had a pretty good day I went to the farmers market and bought lots of tidbits for a casual dinner tonight for the husband and kids. It's hot so I made a big platter with two different goat cheeses, smoked salmon, sun dried persimmons, French baguette slices, and orange slices. I had some too but not a lot.. Well fast forward an hour or so and they all want to eat again... I'm upstairs because they are playing Xbox and I dislike it. I'm at the point of the evening when the cravings get the worst and I'm battling with myself not to sneak downstairs and eat something bad.. They (husband and teen daughter) send the boy (who is 11 and the charmer) up to ask "please can you come down and make pork Buns because we are hungry again" 0_o I really didn't want to face the kitchen again because I'm weak willed. so my son says "you know what mom I'll try and steam them myself" He runs down and tries but needs help so the evil video playing ones yell up that he's going to burn the house down. I ended up going and doing it myself (with his help) and opened the cupboard several times wanting something sweet, but I just looked and closed it up again. But I'm on edge! I'm serving up the buns and one breaks open so it not "perfect" looking anymore, I handed it to my husband and I swear he looks at me like "oh thanks" Well ladies and gentlemen, that's all it took! I threw the napkin at his face and I might of said something like f**k you... Ok I did!!! OMG I'm a mess!
I must say my husband is a great man who does a lot to make my life easy ( works so I can stay home, grocery shops etc) So he's not an ass (usually)
By the way they are downstairs laughing,playing and eating..

I know this was sort of an embarrassing thing to share but thank you so much. Might help someone out who ends up with the same problem.
Hope your butt gets to feeling better soon

Hi, I'm 24 5'7 and had a starting weight of 256lbs so we're pretty close. I had my surgery on December 20, 2012 and today I am 194 pounds so a total of 60 pounds lost since surgery. I think everyone is different but here are some pics of my before and after. I had a pretty rough time until about 3.5 months out, but at this point i don't regret it! Hope this helps....

Guess I could respond to the original thread too...
Mine shrunk some. Could be smaller, but it doesn't bother me really! I'm mostly thrilled that I can actually see it myself again for maintenance!
I've heard for those having plastics done in that region if you go for a Tummy Tuck, check the incision lines they plan to use. I know of a surgeon that does a "w" line in an effort to hide the incisions in the creases of the hips/thighs. It cuts into the upper vag region too and the result is a smaller looking bump.

Make sure if you get the canned variety that you get the fat free. Some refried Beans are prepared with LARD and you definitely don't want to be putting that in your body.
My post surgery sheet (yours may vary) says that you can blend a little bit of salsa in there too

My best moment do far has been fitting in my car!! There's a story about that!! My sister(a lot smaller then me) borrowed my car and somehow dropped her drink onto my seat and broke it! It was completely stuck!! didn't go back forward...I obviously didn't fit my I had to fight my gut to turn the damn wheel.....now 42 lbs down I get in with room to spare!!! Ridiculous but I can drive my car comfortably big deal

I fit into my mother's shirt. My whole life my mother has been this petite woman (she still is). I never could share clothes with my mom or sister, so to fit into her shirt (a 6 petite) was like reaching the top of a mountain after a long, hard climb. It was so awesome

My hubby can't keep his hands off if me... It's so high school it's adorable lol

Mine's not that huge but it was awesome for me - Fitting in to my size 18 jeans. I was so excited. They are a little tight, but I don't care, I am wearing them. My 20's were starting to fall off me.

Vacation is a tough point for me as well. Almost every time I have lost weight in the past, Vacation has been the ending point of losing and the starting point of gaining. I am getting sleeved after vacation this year so I am very happy for that. It is so tough to try to stay completely on track when you are on vacation because you don't have all your home tools with you like a food scale, fixing your own meals, etc.
I've seen many people who say they manage to lose weight on vacation because they walk a ton to explore their vacation location. I am hoping that is the case in the future for me as well. This year we are going on a cruise to Alaska but we usually vacation in Las Vegas and walk about 5 miles a day.
The whole thing really depends on your mindset as you go in to vacation.

SHeesh exactly what I said. I didn't tell her about surgery just because that's who she is. She didn't congratulate me when I graduated or when I landed my dream job. But she was all talk when I left the job because I was overwhelmed. She wasn't excited when I told her that i dropped 19 lbs. All she said was, "oh what pill did you drink." wtfudge? lol
This is why we should all stay away form negative people like her!