Sissy Kay

Dear ANewMan,
(I just went back through and re-read this message -- sorry it's so long. I usually don't have the patience to write quite so much, but I just had a lot I thought needed to be said!)
We all know that this surgery really messes with your hormones and it sounds like it did quite a number on yours. Not very fair, but it's good that you can recognize where this thing got so out of hand. (I wonder if surgeons will start tracking patients with depression symptoms in the future and realize this can be a real issue.)
Unless you've tried a lot of different drugs, I wouldn't be that sure that a different drug might not work better. There are so many drugs out there and they all work differently, which is what makes it tough for psychiatrists to know what to prescribe -- they're going to normally just prescribe the ones that seemed to work for their other patients. I know it's a pain to have to try new meds, but I think it could be important for you.
I was probably depressed starting in childhood, but was able to put-on-a-happy-face until I had my children. At that time, I finally sought help. I went through 6 or 8 different kinds of antidepressants my first few years of therapy, and I saw no relief to my depression until I got Effexor (-- please note that I'm NOT recommending it, it just happened to work well for me, but everybody is different). I've been on Effexor for over 18 years; for the first 6 or 8 of those years, I had to take the maximum dosage, which I believe was 300mg/day. Things did eventually get better for me (don't know why), so that I gradually got down to about 150mg/day. But the best thing that happened is that I finally learned enough about my own head to be able to say to myself: "Yeah -- this time/incident (or whatever) really hurts. But it's not such a big deal that you should let it take over your life -- This is a chemical imbalance that's making you hurt this bad, not the incident. You need to increase your meds a little until you feel better." And sure enough, by increasing the meds that worked for me, by the next day, I wouldn't feel like life couldn't go on. Things just weren't so overwhelming. That is what I would wish could happen for you, NewMan.
The reason I worked hard to be able to lower the dosage of my meds is because my meds, while they helped me so much, they played knick-knack with my sex life. I'm now down to 75mg per day, and sex is SO much better. My husband can attest to that!
Yes -- you have a lot of work to do, and it ain't for the weak-of-heart or weak-of-mind! (While it really has nothing to do with your particular situation, did you ever see the movie "A Beautiful Mind"? Wow -- I'm sure I could never do what that guy did without meds!) So, where do you start? Depression can be such an overwhelming and debiliating condition. My psychiatrist used to always tell me, "If you'll just make yourself exercise, you'll feel better, but you usually CAN'T make yourself exercise until you feel better." (She was a really brilliant lady who has since retired, unfortunately.) If I could only get you to start exercising, NewMan . . .
You say that you're so terribly tired and NO WONDER! (Sorry -- I really like to take advantage of capital letters, exclamation marks, underscores, etc. because I want you to realize when I have raised my voice.) If you're throwing up nearly everyday and smoking and not exercising and suffering from depression and anxiety, ANYBODY would feel run down. Even more important than exercising, you need to get your stomach issues straightened out immediately (I resisted underlining "immediately", but it should be). Get in to see your doctor NOW. This isn't a good thing and it's not going to get any easier to solve if you put it off for a few more months . . .
It's really great that you try to do what you can for your family during the holidays and all -- that can be very tough. Unfortunately, one of your kids may inherit your tendency to anxiety or depression. Wouldn't it be great if you can solve this problem so that they will learn how to also deal with such an issue if they have to when they grow up?
Please let me know how things go for you, NewMan. I try to check my home email once a day on weekends, but only a couple times during the weekday. (My own sleeve surgery is Dec. 3rd; I'll be home for 3 weeks, but I have no clue what to expect for me, being an older gal. )
Your friend,
Sissy Kay

Dear Anewman,
I wish I knew what to tell you to make everything better for you. You have made tremendous improvements in your life (so very few peple can lose 165 pounds and keep it off!) but it's hard to keep all those plates spinning in the air, isn't it?
I have suffered from depression for over 20 years and would have probably committed suicide if not for modern anti-depressants. If you're still struggling, I'd say that your doctor hasn't found the right medication for you yet. Demand to try a different med or to adjust the amount you're taking. (BTW -- What medication are you on?) You may need to go to a psychiatrist who really knows his/her pharmaceuticals, because a combination of different meds may be what you need.
One thing that will really help your mood is exercise. Don't make a big deal of it and think you have to run 3 miles a day. Just start with going for a non-stressful walk. You'll feel SO much better about yourself. I'd say that my mental attitude is improved a good 25% if I'm getting in regular exercise.
The throwing up you're doing everyday sounds awful. You've got to talk to a doctor about that soon -- you're probably damaging your stomach and esophogus lining. Losing weight is important, but that has to be combined with a healthy mental attitude. Find a doctor you respect and who is willing to take the time to look at your total health and well-being.
You sound like a pretty intelligent guy and sometimes it's tougher on the smart ones. Smart people are too aware of everything going on; you can't just say "Awww" and flip your brain onto some other funner topic.
I don't know if any of what I've written will be helpful to you, but please know that I understand and can relate to several of the challenges you're facing right now.

Hi Jessi,
You sound like you've really been through some challenges -- major bummer. And with three little boys! But you're still trying to take care of yourself -- good for you.
Is it that you're trying to weigh enough to convince a doctor to do the surgery or that you're trying to qualify for insurance to pay for it?
Being only 30 years old, you don't have the co-mordibities yet that all us older folks have. Once you become hypertensive, diabetic, have GERD, stress incontinence, joint pain (you'll eventually have all of these if you're really overweight), you'll more easily qualify for VSG without being at a BMI of 40. I was at at BMI of 39, but the co-morbidities made it a slam dunk with my insurance company. (I am also 58 years old.)
Are you working with any doctor closely enough that he would support your need to lose weight so that your back and knee would likely be less of a problem? That's probably your best way to go.
As far as putting on weight (ouch!), it probably wouldn't be that hard to let yourself gain. And you might only need to gain a few pounds for real -- I know if I eat a few big meals in a row AND I'm somewhat constipated, the scale will reflect a pretty hefty weight gain until all the food "moves on".
Good luck, Jessi!

Hi Siren,
I have always hated sleeping on my back (-it seems to put my back out), so was very worried about being able to sleep on my side after surgery. It was a tiny bit painful when I tried (it seemed to pull a bit), but the nurses helped me, so it must not be dangerous; it's your tummy staples/stitches that you don't want to mess with, and they're not attached to your abdomen. What felt most comfortable for me was propping a pillow under my tummy when I laid on my side.
Hope that helps!

Hi FlyingPhotoGirl!
I know exactly how you feel. My surgery was this past Monday, and at times I was beside-myself (whatever that means) with worry before the surgery. But keep in mind that the hospital will give you something to help relax you shortly before the surgery, which will help.
I also have to say that it was kind of "nothing special" to all the surgeries and people around me at the hospital. It was actually somewhat anti-climatic.
You might try cleaning out a closet or going to a movie tomorrow -- something that will take your mind off everything.
Bountiful good luck to you!

Hi LittleHope!
My surgery was this past Monday. I'm sorry to say that I also feel pretty hungry a lot of the time. But I think the fact that we feel hungry so soon is because the actual healing from the surgery is going great for us, which is a wonderful position to be in.
I do think most of this "hunger" nonsense will change once we can eat "real food". Once we can have chicken and beef, we're going to be able to eat 2 or maybe 3 ounces of meat (with no liquids -- remember that) and we're going to feel stuffed for the next 3 hours while our stomach works to digest that.
Be patient, Girl Friend. Healing is the name of the game for the first 3 weeks or more. Then we can start experimenting with filling those demanding tummies of ours!

Slow scale change does not a failure make. Losing inches and clothes falling off a success makes.
Yoda in The Sleever Strikes Back
Time ...give yourself. Diet and exercise program... in line are. Doomed... your fat is.

WAY TO GO, QUITA! You are hitting the ground running! Make all your best dreams come true . . . zzzzzzzz

Way to go, Velena! 66 pounds is a tremendous loss -- you're obviously doing all the right stuff. And all this just since September. Wow!

Hey Kariwimms,
Everybody is right -- losing 87 pounds and NOT gaining it back is FANTASTIC! So you took a few months off and had yourself a break -- no big deal. But it sounds like you're ready now to get back with the program, and you WILL do it! You are truly an inspiration; I think there are a lot of folks we never hear from who fall off the wagon and can't ever climb back on, but you're going to do it!
Show us how it's done, Girl!

Hi Michelle,
My surgery is Dec. 3rd, and I feel the same way -- what if I fail? But we've done our homework, we've listened to what everybody has to say, we'll follow the doctor's and nutritionists's directons to the letter. So I think we're ready to get this surgery behind us!
That is amazing that you got a Dec. 5th date just as of today -- that must have really put your mind in a spin! My Dec. 3rd date was set over two months ago, and I am past ready.
Good luck next week -- I'll be thinking about you.
Sissy*Kay

Major congratulations, PhillyGirl! WAY TO GO! "ONE-derland" is a GREAT place to be!

WAY TO GO, QUITA! You are hitting the ground running! Make all your best dreams come true . . . zzzzzzzz

Way to go, Girl Friend. You Rock! Any words of wisdom you want to share with the rest of us -- things that seemed to work well for you?

Your obvious joy kind of makes me want to break out into song . . . "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are . . ."
Jiminy Cricket and I are sending a great big grin your way!

We're all thrilled for you, Kurt! Way to go! Keep up the great work and be an inspiration for all of us!

Another way (and possibly cheaper) is to take sugar free hot chocolate (25 calories) and mix it with a scoop of unflavored Protein powder (40 calories). I hate Breakfast (!) and that's one of the things I can drink without feeling sick. I'd drink two packs worth with two scoops and it would be 130 calories and 20 grams of Protein which is a good start to what I need for the day. I put the powders in the blender with just a little bit of Water to make sure they're not lumpy (another thing I can't stand) and pour the liquid in to hot Water.< /p>
It really is good

I'm sorry to say, ShrinkyDink, that I'm starting to feel much more concerned too as my date looms closer. My surgery is scheduled for Monday, Dec. 3, and I start the Protein drink-thing this weekend. Yep -- I'm concerned about leaks and hernias and ulcers and all of that stuff. I've read that these complications only occur in a small percent of people who have the sleeve, but it DOES happen. I guess all we can do is do everything the doctors, surgeons, nurses, and nutritionists tell us to do and hope for the best. Good luck to you!

Dear 3Lilrams,
It sounds like you've done what many of us have done, which is to villafy (sp?) eating, except you've taken it farther than most of us are able to -- you've made it into an unpleasant and unrewarding experience that you derive no pleasure from. I have to agree with the other reviewers that I wish I had to push myself to eat just to stay healthy. Hearing your story, it's probably not at all fun and you may be getting obsessive about not eating. I'm still dealing with being obsessive about eating, which certainly isn't good for me, but it's probably not good to become obsessive about not eating. And like you mentioned, your husband doesn't enjoy being around you during meals because you're not enjoying the experience.
Maybe it's like a dog that, everytime it tries to eat a piece of food off the floor, it gets smacked on the nose with a newspaper. After awhile, the dog no longer tries to eat anything off the floor because an unpleasant experience results. If everytime you eat, your stomach gets super unpleasant, then after awhile, you don't want to eat anymore. Have you spoken with your doctor about this unpleasantness when eating? I can't remember hearing from others on this site about that particular reaction by their sleeved stomach. Maybe somebody else will know more about this particular reaction . . .
Good luck -- I wish I could help you more, except to suggest that you experiment with foods to learn what you can eat comfortably, and that's also healthy for you, and then try to enjoy it and feel good about yourself and what you've accomplished. Weight-wise, you're HOT!

Mary - I want to applaud you for sharing with us and being honest. Don't panic! You are different than you were when you started this journey. You are changing. You will not be perfect. You will not always make the right choices - but you are BETTER!!!!!! I like the suggestion for you to seek counseling. This addiction runs so deep! Do you go to the support groups at your surgeon's office? I would start there. I would also make an appt with the nutritionist there. I am going to do the same thing. I need some variety and want to get a little booster-shot when it comes to portion sizes.
Mary - where do you live in WI? I am about 40 min south of the boarder in IL. If you are near Racine, Milwaukee, etc. I'd be happy to meet you for icecream! (LOL - just kidding!!! coffee?)
Please know that you are in my prayers tonight - and that I am asking God to help you be patient with yourself and not panick. We are in this for the long haul. That means the rest of our lives. This isn't a diet - it's a new way of life and there will be bumpy times. Get help now - keep talking about it - clean out your house so you don't have any junk there - recommit to yourself and health again - and keep walking day by day. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs from IL -
Amy

Hey Newbie welcome
if you think you are happy now, give it a few more days - you will be ecstic
great life is in front of you - enjoy the ride

What are you doing, CowGirl Jane? Are you trying to confuse the rest of us by EATING SENSIBLY???
Being silly, of course. That's a truly wonderful strategy you laid out: you planned ahead for a fun day with loved ones & friends where you could also enjoy your food in moderation! That is definitely a great way to be and I hope I will be able to incorporate that very same strategy in the very near future! (My sleeve surgery is in only 10 more days!)
Note to self: Always, ALWAYS plan what you're going to eat for the week ahead. That way, you can plan around special treat-times.

Hey Jay!
Come on -- you know that losing 40 pounds in such a short amount of time is SUPER AMAZING. People will notice the contours of your face becoming more slender, but as you have to look straight-on at your face, you'll basically still just see the round shape. HANG IN THERE and don't get discouraged! Many, many people out there would be so thankful to lose that much so very quickly!

Major congratulations, PhillyGirl! WAY TO GO! "ONE-derland" is a GREAT place to be!

Dear ANewMan,
(I just went back through and re-read this message -- sorry it's so long. I usually don't have the patience to write quite so much, but I just had a lot I thought needed to be said!)
We all know that this surgery really messes with your hormones and it sounds like it did quite a number on yours. Not very fair, but it's good that you can recognize where this thing got so out of hand. (I wonder if surgeons will start tracking patients with depression symptoms in the future and realize this can be a real issue.)
Unless you've tried a lot of different drugs, I wouldn't be that sure that a different drug might not work better. There are so many drugs out there and they all work differently, which is what makes it tough for psychiatrists to know what to prescribe -- they're going to normally just prescribe the ones that seemed to work for their other patients. I know it's a pain to have to try new meds, but I think it could be important for you.
I was probably depressed starting in childhood, but was able to put-on-a-happy-face until I had my children. At that time, I finally sought help. I went through 6 or 8 different kinds of antidepressants my first few years of therapy, and I saw no relief to my depression until I got Effexor (-- please note that I'm NOT recommending it, it just happened to work well for me, but everybody is different). I've been on Effexor for over 18 years; for the first 6 or 8 of those years, I had to take the maximum dosage, which I believe was 300mg/day. Things did eventually get better for me (don't know why), so that I gradually got down to about 150mg/day. But the best thing that happened is that I finally learned enough about my own head to be able to say to myself: "Yeah -- this time/incident (or whatever) really hurts. But it's not such a big deal that you should let it take over your life -- This is a chemical imbalance that's making you hurt this bad, not the incident. You need to increase your meds a little until you feel better." And sure enough, by increasing the meds that worked for me, by the next day, I wouldn't feel like life couldn't go on. Things just weren't so overwhelming. That is what I would wish could happen for you, NewMan.
The reason I worked hard to be able to lower the dosage of my meds is because my meds, while they helped me so much, they played knick-knack with my sex life. I'm now down to 75mg per day, and sex is SO much better. My husband can attest to that!
Yes -- you have a lot of work to do, and it ain't for the weak-of-heart or weak-of-mind! (While it really has nothing to do with your particular situation, did you ever see the movie "A Beautiful Mind"? Wow -- I'm sure I could never do what that guy did without meds!) So, where do you start? Depression can be such an overwhelming and debiliating condition. My psychiatrist used to always tell me, "If you'll just make yourself exercise, you'll feel better, but you usually CAN'T make yourself exercise until you feel better." (She was a really brilliant lady who has since retired, unfortunately.) If I could only get you to start exercising, NewMan . . .
You say that you're so terribly tired and NO WONDER! (Sorry -- I really like to take advantage of capital letters, exclamation marks, underscores, etc. because I want you to realize when I have raised my voice.) If you're throwing up nearly everyday and smoking and not exercising and suffering from depression and anxiety, ANYBODY would feel run down. Even more important than exercising, you need to get your stomach issues straightened out immediately (I resisted underlining "immediately", but it should be). Get in to see your doctor NOW. This isn't a good thing and it's not going to get any easier to solve if you put it off for a few more months . . .
It's really great that you try to do what you can for your family during the holidays and all -- that can be very tough. Unfortunately, one of your kids may inherit your tendency to anxiety or depression. Wouldn't it be great if you can solve this problem so that they will learn how to also deal with such an issue if they have to when they grow up?
Please let me know how things go for you, NewMan. I try to check my home email once a day on weekends, but only a couple times during the weekday. (My own sleeve surgery is Dec. 3rd; I'll be home for 3 weeks, but I have no clue what to expect for me, being an older gal. )
Your friend,
Sissy Kay