Jen35

I'm 6 1/2 years out and I've maintained pretty well. My goal weight was 150 and I'm about 10 pounds over that right now. I recently gained about 5 pounds due to stress from my sister dying (cancer). I've been turning to food for comfort and I need to get my butt back in gear.
I don't really exercise much (I'm changing that), and I've always eaten what I want but in moderation. I just started weight watchers - I want to get down to 145 because I feel that is a better weight for me. I'm really not concerned too much by the scale, but I don't like the way I feel and how my clothes fit right now. So I'm focusing on moving more and eating healthier.

I'm 6 1/2 years out and I've maintained pretty well. My goal weight was 150 and I'm about 10 pounds over that right now. I recently gained about 5 pounds due to stress from my sister dying (cancer). I've been turning to food for comfort and I need to get my butt back in gear.
I don't really exercise much (I'm changing that), and I've always eaten what I want but in moderation. I just started weight watchers - I want to get down to 145 because I feel that is a better weight for me. I'm really not concerned too much by the scale, but I don't like the way I feel and how my clothes fit right now. So I'm focusing on moving more and eating healthier.

I'm 18 days post op and I felt the same why during the first week or so. If you look on this forum, you will find that It's really normal. No matter how much you research and prepare yourself, you don't really know what it's like until you experience it. This is an emotional process as much as a physicall one. I'm able to eat soft foods now and it's getting better every day. I go to a counselor and talk through my feelings which really helps. I'm really craving the foods I can't have (head hunger). I also get get real hunger. This will pass and in a few weeks/months, this will all be behind you.

I haven't been on here for a LONG time. I'm 3 years out from surgery and I got down to my goal of 150 (actually 145) but now I'm fluctuating between 156 and 160. I know that isn't a lot of gain but, for me, it's a slippery slope. 10 pounds can quickly become 20 then 50 and that leads to "screw it - I give up".
I started off in therapy about 6 months prior to surgery and continued on for a year after. I only stopped because my therapist move out of the country (and I hate having to find someone new that I click with - she was amazing). BUT i'm realizing that I need to go back to therapy and probably the nutritionist as well. I can really eat anything I want now and I do (that's the problem!) So I need to go back to basics, make sure I'm focusing on Protein and veggies/fruit and stop putting the junk in my mouth. For me, therapy was the key to getting and staying (close to) goal for so long. I absolutely know that I would have gain back most if not all of the weight if I hadn't worked on WHY I was eating (using food as a drug to numb my feelings). I can feel myself slipping back into old behaviors and mindset. The old me would have just ignored these warning signs, deny there is anything wrong while continuing to overdose on my "drug" of choice. At lease I've become more aware - I can truly see the issues I have now and I know that food won't fix them.

I think I started off as #2 and that worked for me for a long time. I never was able to eat in moderation before WLS. All of a sudden I knew what that was and it was amazing!! I could take just a bite of cheesecake and be satisfied. As I get further out from surgery, I realize that I can eat more and my portions are bigger. So I'm trying to be more like #3 - make healthier choices with occasional treats.
Dieting doesn't work for me - which is why I never could lose before WLS. My brain immediately rebels against the "I cannot have that" rule. And through my therapist I realized I was categorizing food as good or bad. So I would beat myself up mentally each time I "failed" by eating something "bad" and then thow in the towel because I was bad too. There are no bad foods - yes, some foods have no nutritional value or are unhealthy. But eaten once in a while, won't really hurt me. I still want to enjoy food so having that treat makes me feel like I'm not depriving myself. And knowing that I'm allowed to have it, means that I'm not going to feel guilty and feel like a faliure if I decide to eat it. That is a vicious cycle that got me to the weight I was before.

That's a good plan:) I know I made myself crazy with the scale in the beginning. Right now you want to focus on recovering from surgery and your nutrition/hydration. If you do that, the weight loss will happen.
At 3 years out, I weigh a few times per week. That may be too much for some, but I use to just ignore my weight and the scale. So if I'm not weighing often, it's a slippery slope for me. Once I got to my goal weight, I gave myself a 5-7 pound "buffer" that I wouldn't worry too much, but I don't allow myself to get beyond that. That way I'm catching any weight gain before it because overwhelming to me.

I will be at my 3 year mark next month. When I decided on surgery, I was certain that I wouldn't tell anyone except those closest to me. But, like you, as I started rapidly losing weight, it's hard to lie to family and friends. So I became very open about my surgery. Yes, I got some judgmental people but I feel that is their problem not mine. And if they are a close friend and judging me - maybe they're not such a great friend. I didn't announce it to the world - only those who I felt comfortable telling. But only by talking about WLS are we going to remove the stigma attached to it. If we act like it's a dirty little secret then we are just reinforcing the view that this is something to be ashamed of. Some of the people at work know - mainly because I felt comfortable with them knowing (and I have a co-worker who had the sleeve a year prior to mine).
The main issue I had was that a couple people I told then felt it was okay to constantly ask me about my weight. "What are you down to now?" as if it is okay to just ask someone what they weigh. And with them, it became the only topic of conversation. HELLO I am more than my weight - I have other things to talk about. At first it was nice to get the attention and for people to notice my weight loss, but at some point when everyone says "wow you look great!" you start to wonder "did I really look that bad before?" Now that I'm 3 years out, it's a lot easier. This is my new norm and I don't really have to tell anyone unless I want to. I sometimes share my experience with others just because I would have loved to have someone do that for me.

Sorry @@Cape Crooner, I didn't read the whole thread. I feel your pain - now that you've told them one thing I would probably stick to the same story rather than admit to lying to them as well. That was one of my fears down the road going that route. Sorry you're in this situation.
I'm not judging you at all - or saying you're ashamed of the surgery. Just giving my experience and why I made the choice I made. I felt ashamed of the surgery when I was going through the approval process - more of an overall feeling that I failed at losing the weight myself and what would others think of me. So telling the truth up front was cathartic for me in that regard. But many people choose not to tell and that's okay too - it's your body and your medical history. It's really none of anyone else's business unless you want it to be.

In my State and with my employer...FMLA is the leave of absence (protecting your job while you are out). Short Term Disability is a way to get paid for time off (as long as you pay into it or have short term disability policy). You can take sick or vacation as well (actually you have to use any accrued time where I work).

I think I started off as #2 and that worked for me for a long time. I never was able to eat in moderation before WLS. All of a sudden I knew what that was and it was amazing!! I could take just a bite of cheesecake and be satisfied. As I get further out from surgery, I realize that I can eat more and my portions are bigger. So I'm trying to be more like #3 - make healthier choices with occasional treats.
Dieting doesn't work for me - which is why I never could lose before WLS. My brain immediately rebels against the "I cannot have that" rule. And through my therapist I realized I was categorizing food as good or bad. So I would beat myself up mentally each time I "failed" by eating something "bad" and then thow in the towel because I was bad too. There are no bad foods - yes, some foods have no nutritional value or are unhealthy. But eaten once in a while, won't really hurt me. I still want to enjoy food so having that treat makes me feel like I'm not depriving myself. And knowing that I'm allowed to have it, means that I'm not going to feel guilty and feel like a faliure if I decide to eat it. That is a vicious cycle that got me to the weight I was before.

I think I started off as #2 and that worked for me for a long time. I never was able to eat in moderation before WLS. All of a sudden I knew what that was and it was amazing!! I could take just a bite of cheesecake and be satisfied. As I get further out from surgery, I realize that I can eat more and my portions are bigger. So I'm trying to be more like #3 - make healthier choices with occasional treats.
Dieting doesn't work for me - which is why I never could lose before WLS. My brain immediately rebels against the "I cannot have that" rule. And through my therapist I realized I was categorizing food as good or bad. So I would beat myself up mentally each time I "failed" by eating something "bad" and then thow in the towel because I was bad too. There are no bad foods - yes, some foods have no nutritional value or are unhealthy. But eaten once in a while, won't really hurt me. I still want to enjoy food so having that treat makes me feel like I'm not depriving myself. And knowing that I'm allowed to have it, means that I'm not going to feel guilty and feel like a faliure if I decide to eat it. That is a vicious cycle that got me to the weight I was before.

I guess I fall under #3. I definitely don't abstain completely from anything, except soda. I learned long ago that the second I tell myself I absolutely can't have something is the second I start desperately craving it. I do MUCH better lying to myself and saying, "oh you can have that tomorrow or next week". Most of the time I never end up having it, but if I do, then I can move on and be content.
I'd like to aim for #2. The vast majority of the time since my surgery, I haven't tracked my food. I've tried to eat intuitively and just put Protein first and let that kind of dictate my eating each day. However, I was losing weight in "maintenance" once I started training for a half marathon, so I've gone back to tracking food in order to make sure I'm eating ENOUGH, which is kind of weird and mind blowing.
And even in maintenance and trying to force myself to eat enough, there are some things I can't help but try to avoid or I feel guilty if I eat. So, I guess it's ultimately just trying to strike a balance every day still.

i made an appointment to see a new surgeon and NUT (insurance change- old surgeon doesn't accept my new insurance), and I bought the 5 day pouch reset book on my kindle and i'm doing that. I have been dabbling with shakes and broth etc, but I found that the actual PLAN is what I need, so I read that and am ready to go.
it's easy to backslide into old habits, my biggest one is eating slider foods, and eating too often, and i've taken up soda again, which is like crack to me. so now I have to detox off that, detox off carbs and simple sugars, and i'll be back on track.
good for you for seeking help here. good luck!

I haven't had surgery yet but feel that not telling obese friends is doing them a disservice. If it weren't for a woman at work being open about her journey I may not have even looked into surgery. We know how hard it is to do this on our own and when we don't tell them about the most helpful tool we've had to lose - they must feel like failures. I'm not shouting it on the roof tops but if asked, I'm going to tell friends, family and coworkers. Congrats on your success, Cape! Well done and something to be proud of!

Like others have mentioned, I don't think there was any one moment. I'm 35 with 2 small children and I feel OLD. I have RA and Fibromyalgia - constantly tired and in pain. I want to enjoy my family and my life in general. I'm still young and I want to feel that way!
I was healthy and athletic when I was young. I started steadily gaining weight in my early 20's and haven't stopped. I've tried dieting and exercise. I even worked with a personal trainer and completed a 10k Mud Run 3 years ago at 210lbs. I was (somewhat) strong, but still fat! After the RA diagnosis, I can't work out like I used to so now I'm not even strong:( And I'm even fatter.
My mom died when I was 10 from breast cancer and her only risk factor was her weight. She was only 39 when she died. I don't want my kids to grow up without a mom. I guess that's my final straw - I want to be there for my kids and I don't see that happening if I continue down this path.

I'll be 2 years out in May and I'm finding that I'm having a bit of trouble maintaining because I'm not watching what I'm eating (too much junk) and I'm not exercising. I'm still at my goal weight of 150, but I had been down to 145. And I'm afraid I'll keep inching up if I'm not careful.
These are the things that are working for me:
I found some really tasty deli meat at (maple honey glazed turkey) that is yummy. That is a really easy lunch option. I just roll up some meat with cheese. Pair that with some fruit/veggies and I'm happy. I keep healthy, quick Snacks on hand so I don't get too hungry and reach for other things. Mixed nuts, Protein bars, individual cottage cheese, string cheese or baby bell, individual guacamole (100 calorie packs) to go with pretzels. Wild caught Alaskian salmon at Sam's (already marinaded in individual packs) are really good with lots of great Protein. I defrost quickly in a bowl of cool Water and cook for 15 minutes (or cook from frozen - takes about 15 more minutes). Tuna pouches - I eat the flavored ones with just crackers. or mix with some mayo.< /li> I love watching TV, so I try to go to the gym in the evening when a show is on that I want to watch. 30 minutes goes fast for me when I'm engrossed in a show I like. I also bought a country line dance exercise DVD that I plan to do with my kids. When watching TV, at commercial breaks, do planks, push ups, sit ups, wall sits, jumping jacks. Hope this was helpful:)

I'll be 2 years out in May and I'm finding that I'm having a bit of trouble maintaining because I'm not watching what I'm eating (too much junk) and I'm not exercising. I'm still at my goal weight of 150, but I had been down to 145. And I'm afraid I'll keep inching up if I'm not careful.
These are the things that are working for me:
I found some really tasty deli meat at (maple honey glazed turkey) that is yummy. That is a really easy lunch option. I just roll up some meat with cheese. Pair that with some fruit/veggies and I'm happy. I keep healthy, quick Snacks on hand so I don't get too hungry and reach for other things. Mixed nuts, Protein bars, individual cottage cheese, string cheese or baby bell, individual guacamole (100 calorie packs) to go with pretzels. Wild caught Alaskian salmon at Sam's (already marinaded in individual packs) are really good with lots of great Protein. I defrost quickly in a bowl of cool Water and cook for 15 minutes (or cook from frozen - takes about 15 more minutes). Tuna pouches - I eat the flavored ones with just crackers. or mix with some mayo.< /li> I love watching TV, so I try to go to the gym in the evening when a show is on that I want to watch. 30 minutes goes fast for me when I'm engrossed in a show I like. I also bought a country line dance exercise DVD that I plan to do with my kids. When watching TV, at commercial breaks, do planks, push ups, sit ups, wall sits, jumping jacks. Hope this was helpful:)

I love this thread - thanks for starting it! I definitely think the emotional/mental aspect of the weight loss process is not addressed enough.
I haven't read these books but I had some pretty intense therapy with an amazing counselor. I definitely had disordered eating but I also had a huge appetite (I believe that there is/was some hunger "switch" that just doesn't turn off for some of us). I refer to the sleeve as my "rehab" from food. It gave me a breather from the hunger to work on the mental issues I had/have with food. I had a crappy childhood - abuse, mom died of cancer when I was little, my dad was emotionally incapable of being a father. I grew up with no love/comfort that a child needs and was never really able to grieve from all of this trama. Therapy and EMDR helped me process the feelings that I never allowed myself to feel. Food was the drug that I used to numb everything, give me comfort, etc.. For me, I had to deal with all of this and understand why I behave this way in order to learn how to change those destructive behaviors. I really HATED myself and that was reflected in how I treated myself. After dealing with my past, therapy then became about finding healthy ways to cope with my feelings and self comfort without food. I have a much better relationship with food now and I am much more self aware (even as I have been slipping into some old behaviors lately because my counselor moved 4 months ago and I haven't found a new one). But in the past I would just ignore those warning signs - now I'm less afraid to do that self-assessment of where I am and the path that I'm heading down. Alarm bells are going off in my head telling me that I'm not dealing with my stress in a healthy way - I'm leaning on food for comfort, etc. And so.... I"m going to start looking for a new therapist tomorrow:)

I understand about food addiction! Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I ask because that really helped me. My first homework assignment was to determine what food does for me. I realized that it comforted me and kept me from feeling my feelings (especially the unpleasant ones). I worked with her for over a year to learn how to feel my feelings and find healthier ways to comfort myself. I would still be seeing her if she hadn't moved. I'm dragging my feet to find someone else, but I need to.
Something that I really enjoyed on purees: cottage cheese, layered with speghetti sauce and then shredded cheese. Heat it up and it's like lasagna. Yummy! Check out www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com - she has a lot of post op ideas (that one is hers). Hang in there:)

Hi there. I haven't been on here in a long time but I was browsing and you're post just called to me. I remember being in your shoes feeling terrible during the healing process. What got me through was taking it one day at a time. I know that sounds silly, but I just focused on TODAY, what will get me through today, because each day I will heal more and feel better. I ended up having my gallbladder removed 3 weeks after my sleeve surgery. That SUCKED! and I had to revert back to liquids for a while. Now I'm 16 months post op 5 pounds below my goal and that is all in the past. This will be your past before you know it:)
My advice - instead of going off your dietary guidelines, try different Protein shakes. Or try blending some banana or Peanut Butter into a shake (use the blender). Sometimes a change in consistency helps. Have a variety of popcicles or anything else you can have (Jello, pudding, etc.) so you don't get bored. Journal your feelings. That helped me a lot (I was seeing a therapist and this was my "homework"). You will be frustrated and, if you're like me, "eating your feelings" isn't an option anymore:) Write them down, do yoga, walk, find what works for you. Try to be in the moment - it's okay to feel your feelings and it's perfectly normal to be frustrated, sad or whatever you feel. But try to be kind to yourself - you aren't alone in this journey and you are worth the effort to take the best possible care of yourself!!!

I've probably heard them all:)
The problem with the chess analogy is that it's comparing apples and oranges. The impulse to eat (and therefore the cravings) come from the brain stem or "primative" brain. Our cognitive abilities (logical/rational thought, knowledge, etc.) originate from our frontal lobe. This is information from my therapist, by the way. Which is why I could read every diet or self help book out there, know all the right things to do to be healthy and, yet, I didn't put it into action. Eating is necessary to sustain life and is associated with comfort, love, and survival. Chess - you can live without.
To me, this analogy is no more than saying "you don't have any discipline or self-control" which many people believe about overweight people. That is so far from the truth!
For people without food issues, eating disorders, etc., give that advice to "just stop eating", "just count calories" just... just.... Not everyone's brain is wired the same way. Not everyone can do this on their own. I know I "just" needed the surgery and a TON of therapy to lose this weight and those stupid advice-givers can "just" kiss my tush now!

I've probably heard them all:)
The problem with the chess analogy is that it's comparing apples and oranges. The impulse to eat (and therefore the cravings) come from the brain stem or "primative" brain. Our cognitive abilities (logical/rational thought, knowledge, etc.) originate from our frontal lobe. This is information from my therapist, by the way. Which is why I could read every diet or self help book out there, know all the right things to do to be healthy and, yet, I didn't put it into action. Eating is necessary to sustain life and is associated with comfort, love, and survival. Chess - you can live without.
To me, this analogy is no more than saying "you don't have any discipline or self-control" which many people believe about overweight people. That is so far from the truth!
For people without food issues, eating disorders, etc., give that advice to "just stop eating", "just count calories" just... just.... Not everyone's brain is wired the same way. Not everyone can do this on their own. I know I "just" needed the surgery and a TON of therapy to lose this weight and those stupid advice-givers can "just" kiss my tush now!

I set my goal at 150 thinking I would never get there (I started pre-op in May 2013 at 244). But now, a year out, I'm at 150. I'm happy at this weight but it is at the top of my healthy weight range for my height (5'5). I was 130 in high school (a LONG time ago) so I know I still look healthy at that weight - I wouldn't want to go lower than that. I'm in a size 10, sometimes 8 depending. So it surprises me when people tell me to stop losing. I was on a work trip where many of my co-workers hadn't seen me in 9 months. One person kept telling me not to lose anymore and that she is worried about me. Seriously? It's not like I'm anorexic and I've been at this weight for several months now. I'm not super skinny. There were several other people there that are smaller than me and no one comments on their weight. But that is their normal, my normal has been almost 100 pounds heavier, so people are used to seeing me that way.
It amazes me that because I've had WLS, people feel free to comment on my weight. They ask what I weigh now (hello?? how much do YOU weigh). And I have a good friend who is heavier than me (and pregnant) who is so down on her weight. I can't go shopping with her right now because I was trying on a swim suit and commented about not liking the way it fit and she went OFF on me. That I should be happy that I'm so thin, and look at all her cellulite. But I can bet you she wouldn't have said that to one of her friends who has always been thin. I'm giving her a break because of the preggers hormones, but it hurt my feelings. Just because I've lost weight doesn't mean my body is perfect or I love the way everything fits me. I still have some body issues. Sometimes it's just really hard to relate to people after WLS, usually because of their perceptions or expections. It can really suck!

I set my goal at 150 thinking I would never get there (I started pre-op in May 2013 at 244). But now, a year out, I'm at 150. I'm happy at this weight but it is at the top of my healthy weight range for my height (5'5). I was 130 in high school (a LONG time ago) so I know I still look healthy at that weight - I wouldn't want to go lower than that. I'm in a size 10, sometimes 8 depending. So it surprises me when people tell me to stop losing. I was on a work trip where many of my co-workers hadn't seen me in 9 months. One person kept telling me not to lose anymore and that she is worried about me. Seriously? It's not like I'm anorexic and I've been at this weight for several months now. I'm not super skinny. There were several other people there that are smaller than me and no one comments on their weight. But that is their normal, my normal has been almost 100 pounds heavier, so people are used to seeing me that way.
It amazes me that because I've had WLS, people feel free to comment on my weight. They ask what I weigh now (hello?? how much do YOU weigh). And I have a good friend who is heavier than me (and pregnant) who is so down on her weight. I can't go shopping with her right now because I was trying on a swim suit and commented about not liking the way it fit and she went OFF on me. That I should be happy that I'm so thin, and look at all her cellulite. But I can bet you she wouldn't have said that to one of her friends who has always been thin. I'm giving her a break because of the preggers hormones, but it hurt my feelings. Just because I've lost weight doesn't mean my body is perfect or I love the way everything fits me. I still have some body issues. Sometimes it's just really hard to relate to people after WLS, usually because of their perceptions or expections. It can really suck!

it irks me when people think we are 'jumping into' WLS. it's not exactly a decision you make on a Monday and surgery that Friday. this is a LONG process, many months for most.
it also revolves around a food ADDICTION. i once retorted back to a colleague who questioned me the same way "would you discourage an alcoholic from going to AA"? and dropped it.
another poster said it best, people are terribly misinformed.
rest assured in the decision you made for yourself is best and keep your eye on the prize. good luck!