Kaj

Where are you getting your tat (where on your body); What size tat? Why now? Just FYI: I haven't hit the surgery scheduled yet, but I am pretty heavily body modified and my youngest son is my tattoo artist and has been a professional artist for ohhhh...15 years or so. So I can talk to you about ink.

I'm not sleeved yet...hell, don't even have an idea of a date yet, but the eating at work is frightening for me. I work for the VA and have only 30 mins for lunch and they are very strict about time. I have no idea how I am going to eat slowly if I only have 30 mins to do it in. Also, I plan to take a week off for this...I can't afford more time than that, so I am a bit concerned about that as well.

Nice. I wear a medical alert bracelet anyway due to my vertigo...and it is a flash drive, so I will just add this to it as well as the other stuff I have on it like my advance directives and such.

I'm 60. I have my first surgeon consult this coming week. I am doing the 3 months of medically supervised by my PCP diet as required by my insurance...which is a joke, but what are ya gonna do? I know what it is like to be thin and I WANT it back!!. I lost 110 pounds on medifast in 1989 as well as my gallbladder. I kept it off with a slow creeping upward climb until 2000. Then menopause, my mother's death, depression, and anti-depressants all came together in one perfect storm and I crumbled. Gained about 100 lbs in a little over 6 months time. I crawled up to 289 a couple of years ago, then started counting weight watcher points and over a year lost 50 lbs. Then I stopped losing. Just....stopped. No idea why. I counted points another year without losing any at all. The last 3 months that I counted points, I actually began to gain again. Probably a lot of things I was doing wrong- portion creep, not weighing my food, etc. But anyway, I have gained 20 back since I gave up counting points and seem to have stopped at 250 for the past 6 months. My shrink has provided 5 years of documentation of my weight battle to the insurance company, so that part is covered. So yeah...60 years old, but big deal. I'm still 18 in my mind and I am still working full time and will be probably until I die. So, I am going to grab all the gusto I can get and will cheer each of you onward as you each make your own journey.

*Life* is scary. We can't go through our lives fearing "what-if". By doing so, we miss the "what-is" of this moment. "What is" , at least for is that I have battled weight my whole life, I'm fat. I'm tired of dieting and failing repeatedly and the damage that event does to my self worth and enjoyment of the moment I'm in. I have done my research, attempted to mitigate the risks I have some control over and am moving forward toward this surgery with a positive attitude and a belief that this "tool", just like the nicotine Patches I used to quit smoking 8 years ago, is simply going to allow me to live a healthier, longer life. Continuing at this weight is guaranteed to, if not shorten my life, definitely make it less enjoyable. Years ago when I took Differential Diagnosis during my graduate studies I realized that with just a little bit of knowledge I could go through the DSM-IV and meet the diagnostic criteria for a large number of the disorders. It is easy to talk ourselves into symptoms through fear. As I've said - I've done my research, I trust my surgeon to have more than half a brain as well as a strong aversion to malpractice cases and the rest I'll leave up to my creator.

K33 -Nice to hear someone else has a case of just don't cares. I am so anti-motivated. But you are right! It is easier when there are fresh fruits and vegies. The winter weather makes me want to eat comfort food. I am doing a great job of "everything will be better after I have surgery" or "I'll be more motivated to eat right, work out daily, avoid chocolate once I have surgery" and I really do know better than to think that way. I know nothing will change unless I change it. There are NO magic formulas. WLS is only a tool, NOT a cure. Yep - got the grand-daughter delivered and my hair washed, and my clothes ready for work tomorrow and at least that is a start. Thanks K!

Haven't been on the forum in a month or so. I've been focused on just moving forward. I am in month 2 of my "Dr. monitored 3 month diet" and just have big old give a poop attitude! He is all for me having surgery but isn't really invested in me. I am so rarely sick that we don't really have a relationship. I see my shrink more often than I see my pcp. He handed me a pre-printed 1500 calorie diet based on exchanges, told me to not eat after 6 PM and scheduled me to come back in a month. I counted calories religiously, walked the treadmill fairly regularly, but ate after 6 because I don't get home from work until after 6!! At day 30, (on Dec 15th) I had gained 3 pounds. Of course I was in boots and a heavy sweater which probably accounted for some of the weight since I had weighed originally in tennis shoes and a T-shirt. Anyway, he said to try to drop beneath 1500 a day, to maybe 1200 a day and honestly 1200 calories a day is just damn near impossible to do with Christmas! But I am going to go back to him on the 15th of January and we will see what we see. I have my first surgeon consultation on Jan 8th and am sure I will be much more excited after that. Anyway, I'm getting ready to take my grand-daughter home. I'll check in later. Just got a big case of the blues....

If you are still in the hospital, you are in good hands so relax and trust that although it is scary right now, it will get better. If you are home, take comfort in knowing the hospital wouldn't have released you if you were in danger. Keep trying a little bit at a time and sipping water so you stay hydrated. I haven;t been sleeved yet, so I don't know what you are feeling, but I do know that fear makes what you are feeling much worse. Concentrate on your breathing, staying calm and reach out to your mentors here. Keeping good thoughts for you, girl.

I'm just at the beginning.....just started the "insurance required doctor supervised diet" part. I'm sort of shooting for around March or April. I go for my first consult with Dr. Faulkenberry on Dec 4th. I live and work in Austin. That being said - I think Mindy is giving excellent advice. I'm older than y'all by quite a bit, and am a big believer in communication with your Doctor. You two are partners in this journey and he can't be the best partner possible if you aren't keeping him in the loop. Sending major positive ju-ju your way, girl. Keep us up to date. Kaj

I suggested checking with your Doc because if you have never had anxiety or been dx'd with an emotional disorder, it is always to check your medical first, then if everything is all good, you can rule out that issue. I speak both from a personal level - my anxiety will typically hit my gut first if I am off schedule on my meds, but also as an LCSW, I have often worked with clients with anxiety and have noticed that more often than not, it is women who seem to have gut issues with anxiety. If your shaky stomach goes away; I would think about becoming aware of when it happens and what you have done/eaten AND when it stops and what you have done/eaten right before it stopped.

Panic disorder and/or General anxiety disorder frequently will affect one's stomach. There is a connection referrred to as the "gut brain" and in some cases it is associated with the vagal nerve. I know of people who feel the "anxiety" feeling in their stomach with the development of an anxiety/panic disorder; I also know of people who will have anxiety attacks triggered by blood sugar imbalances or chemical/mineral imbalances. You may want to touch base with your Dr. to make sure all your metabolic numbers are in the normal range. Just a suggestion.

Ladies! Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing and update you all on my "progress". I saw my Psych for my quarterly med management and discussed the possibility of WLS at length. I was a bit apprehensive about his reaction but was plesantly surprised to find that he not only was supportive, he was VERY much in favor of my having the surgery. I told him I would need documentation regarding my weight history consisting of one note for each year for 2010 and 2011 (and probably 2012 now, as well) and a psych eval stating he felt i was enotionally appropriate for the surgery, assuming he thought I was. It was funny to see him laugh at me when I said that. I think I am a rarity in his practice in my emotional stability and groundedness. So he is a go. I saw my Gynocologist for my annual and she also was supportive. Last but not least, I met with my PCP day before yesterday and discussed it with him and he too was very supportive so I have had really great feedback about this from the medical world which makes me feel much more comfortable. He (my PCP) gave me a 1500 calorie diet to follow which is a basic exchange format. Along with that, I'll walk my treadmill at least 30 mins per day and keep a food diary. I will begin that on Monday when I return to work. I am scheduled to see him on the 13th of each month for the next 3 months. I will meet my surgeon and his team on the 4th of December. I turned 60 yesterday and have been on vacation since last weekend. We had planned to spend a few days hunting but unfortunately we went out the first day and I had such a fierce reaction to the ragweed that we decided to not attempt to go back out this week. Once we have a good cold snap, the ragweed should be down so we'll go a few weekends during this season. I have been really awful this past few days. It is as if I am mentally in a holding place between the end of counting WW points and the beginning of counting calories and have just been in a full blown eat it all stage! I've got to get it back in control and go back to my healthy eating style. Not sure where my head is at and am thinking I might need to do some exploration about what is behind this "give a s**t attitude" I seem to have acquired this last few days. Anyway - I'm on my way. I know Karen/Saltmistrose is scheduled for the 29th and am keeping positive thoughts for her. Let me know how everyone else is doing. Kaj

I haven't had my surgery. I'm not even close yet, however what I do know is that I take meds that can't be crushed because they are extended release. Definitely NOT able to be done. <shrug> Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Thanks! Looked it up - can find it just up the road at Whole Foods. Sounds healthier than whey and soy. Now its on my list of 'must haves' for the stock pile I'm going to build over the next few months as I move toward the surgical process. I'm hoping to do this as much as possible without buying into the "bariatrics specialty marketing" .

So we went to an info session on the 18th and altho I have scheduled a couple of others, I'm not going to attend them. I reviewed my insurance and my initial choice of practices which was also the info session I attended is one of their not just preferred providers but one of their independently reviewed providers as is the hospital that is the 1st choice on my list. So I see no sense in exploring further since I got my initial criteria met with the first seminar. My husband (my partner in crime) agrees as well and liked what he has read and heard, so he is all in with me doing this deal. I have faxed in my initial documentation to the practice so their patient advocate can do their thing. My quarterly appointment with my shrink for med management is the 6th of November and I'll discuss this with him at that visit. Other than him and my husband, I have no plans to share this journey with anyone else, not even my children. Assuming I live through the surgery and recover at the rate I expect, there is no reason for anyone else to be part of this. It is no one else's business. :ph34r: The general way I am hoping this will play out is that I would end up with a surgery date of sometime in March or April. That should give me enough time to build up a stock pile of clear liquid foods, non-clear liquid foods, and then any additional electronic components to aid and abet the process (like a good juicer). Now all I have to do is keep from putting on more weight since I don't want to buy bigger jeans only to have to turn around and buy smaller ones. Sooooo-as far as my mental engagement, I am ready to move forward & rock and roll! Thanks for the encouragement, ladies. I'll keep you all updated as I move through this little journey and look forward to sharing both in y'alls experience as well as sharing mine with you.

Where are you purchasing your hemp Protein?

Nice, Jill!! SO encouraging. Thank you for sharing and congrats...you are on your way, girl. Won't be long before you're two-stepping at Billy Bobs.

ROFLMAO!!! OMG! I am dying here! You have an amazing sense of humor. Thanks for the haha.

Yay! VERY encouraging. My husband and I went to an info seminar last night. Still just dipping my toes in before I jump right on in to the whole thing.

Beautiful reply, Janerose. I think Saltmistrose expressed a lot of what I'm feeling also - It did me good to hear your statement: " I wanted to extend the good year left; wanted to walk, wanted to swim in warm waters, wanted to carry my granddaughter, wanted to look better in my clothes, wanted to laugh louder and longer." It resonates and lets me know it really is ok to want to feel as yooung outside as I do in my mind. Thank you...

FindingMeMe, I seeyou are a member of Military Spouse Sleevers. I work for the VA in the homeless Vets program. If you are located where there is a VA hospital or Clinic, call them and see if they have a clothing closet for their clients. Just a suggestion - but I know the families with which I work always need clothing to job hunt in and with winter coming, those that are still outside are going to be cold.

HOW do you manage to get 125-130gms of protein in daily??? I am nowhere near surgery, but was trying to visualize 80gms yesterday and its a pretty stunning amount for a teeny tummy.

"WLS works if you do" hehehehe! You have no idea how many times I've stood with clients at 12 step meetings and heard that line...or a variation there of...."it only works if you work it." funny mental connection for me there.

I haven't for certain even decided I am going to run this gauntlet WLS, however the clothing situation does concern me not because I dress so high end but because I've lost weight, got rid od all my "fat" clothes and bought all new "skinny" clothes, only to gain the weight back and had to get rid of my "skinny" clothes and buy larger and larger sizes until I was/am back in "fat" clothes. I've battled to lose 45-40 lbs over the past couple years, dropped a few sizes and had to buy more clothes. Now I'm struggling to keep from gaining again. This clothing roller coaster is going to bankrupt me!! And I can't stand doing this all over again...from fat to skinny and back to fat! What if WLS doesn't work? And shoes??? I don't remember having to get smaller shoe sizes before. Please say it ain't so. I just bought a pair of to die for cowboy boots!

Thanks, definitely will keep y'all informed as I go along.