Kaj

Hi all - I am new. Very new. And I have read all of this forum over the last few hours. It has been a comfort to know that 60+ is not a big issue in regards to WLS. I was somewhat concerned about that. I have battled my weight since I my first pregnancy at age 18. I have had some success here and there, even manged at one time to lose 110 lbs on an all liquid diet and kept it off almost 10 years until I hit menopause and a host of other emotional roller coasters. I have been counting weight watcher points for almost 2 years now and initially lost 50 lbs but hit a plateau about a year ago and have not been able to break it...then I began to gain again. I guess from what they call "portion creep" because I got to guessing about my portion sizes. I have paid almost $20 a month for 2 years and I finally just threw up my hands in frustration a few weeks ago when the scales once again registered another couple pounds gain during my saturday morning weighing. I cancelled my weight watchers online membership, and yesterday when it finally ended, I quit counting points. Yesterday was a day of eat what I want which wasn't much, but I felt guilty with every bite! I am 59 and 11 months today and found out last week that there is a good chance my insurance will cover it. I work for the VA and have gov't insurance and it seems that they will cover me. That is when I began to look into the surgery. Then I read about the sleeve and got serious about it. I have been doing lots of researching and thinking. I am going to go to an information seminar on the 18th. I have some concerns, obviously my age was/is one of them. But also, I have been on antidepressants AND antianxiety meds for more than 6 years. I see my psychiatrist quarterly and my MDD and anxiety have been in remission/controlled for most of the 6 years I have been taking meds. I am not so much worried about the prozac as I am concerned about whether the benzos would be an issue. I don't have a tolerance built up and have taken exactly the same mgs (0.5 mgs in the AM and again in the PM) for 6 years with successful control of my bigemy PVCs and accompanying panic attacks (the PVCs and beta blockers to control them is what precipitated my MDD/panic episode 6 yrs ago.) but I know enough about benzos to know that even though I am not "addicted" in the strictest definition of the word, my body is definitely dependent on them. Afterall, part of my job involves working with addicts, so I know my stuff. I am the breadwinner in our family and know that I can't afford to take time off to "detox" and then take more time off for surgery without negatively impacting my job and our finances. My other concern is that I have Meniere's Disease which not only caused complete deafness on my right side, but also causes vertigo. Many days of the week, I am a bit "left of center". It is mostly controllable with Bonine. If it gets too bad, the addition of phenerghan handles it - but occasionally a vertigo attack hits really fast and hard and that results in incapacitating dizzyiness coupled with repeated vomiting for sometimes an hour or so. I am worried this would make me a non-candidate. I can only imagine how a bout of vertigo would impact a newly stapled stomach!! I come from a long line of Type 2 diabetics and have so far managed to not go there, but I am close and my metabolism is VERY efficient..it takes a miracle to drop weight. I own a treadmill and get on it for an hour or so every few days for a few days then become darn near incapacitated due to the pain in all my joints and muscles from pushing my mid 200 # body so hard. I spend most weekends laying on my fat butt in bed becase by the end of the week of work, I am too tired to do anything lay around preparing to go back to work on Monday. I WANT to have the energy to not only walk my treadmill daily, but also to go play on weekends! I want to hike and hunt and garden and enjoy my life instead of just working, resting and working again. But I have to dump some weight to have that energy and I don't know how to do it, how to do it so it works and stays off!! So yeah...I'm ambivalent. I'm afraid to get my hopes up for fear this won't work out, I'm afraid it WILL work out and I'll die on the damn operating table because of my age, I'm afraid insurance will cover it, I'll qualify medically as well as mentally, and I'll live through the surgery only to find that I have after surgery complications and lost a bunch of time at work, or worse lose my job and have to carry that stress and strain and guilt. Some of the good things I have going for me is that my husband does ALL the cooking, and we have been eating "healthy" with a few occasional exceptions involving holidays (and my nightly addiction to 50 licorice jelly bellys which =5 points) for the past 2 years, and I'm really not a big fan of food in general. I would be perfectly happy to be able to take a "food pill" 3x a day if such a thing existed! I hate eating in front of others, I am an excruciatingly slow eater and everyone ends up waiting on me to finish. So in some ways I'm pre-wired for this. So...glad I found this place. And I'll keep reading and I'll let y'all know what's next for me..... Kaj.

Good morning all! My name is Donna, however most of my adulthood friends call me Kaj- hence my nick here. It is a sort of split identity since I am Donna to anyone who knows me from childhood (and I have lots of those friends still) and professionally; but Kaj to those who know me as an adult and in many ways mirrors a sort of "rebirth" for me as a person as I went college at 40 and for me it was a rebirth. I became much more confident and "found" myself. That time also was when everyone I became friends with started calling me Kaj. So...I guess what I am saying is call me whatever you want, I'll answer. Lets see...I am exactly 59 years and 11 months old today. I am married to my 2nd husband and we will Celebrate 35 years on Halloween. He is my rock and biggest fan and best friend. (He is also a "feeder"). we live on 2 very steep acres at Lake travis in austin, TX. We have 3 grown sons - ages 40, 33, and 29. My eldest is single and childless having had a few long term relationships after a 10 year marriage and is sort of focusing on himself nowdays. My other two sons are married to the perfect woman for each of them and we have 3 grandkids between them, ages 11, 6, and 4. All live within 45 mins of us. They are awesome and smart and fun filled and adored ...and after a few hours with them, I am really REALLY glad my kid raising days are over! My husband and I basically switched jobs a few years ago and he quit his job and became a house husband and I became the wage earner. He does all the cooking and cleaning - the traditional "woman's woek"; I go to work and bring home the bacon. I am a Social Worker employed with the Veteran's Administration working with homeless Vets. We are very interested in self sustainability and my husband grows our vegies, we have chickens for fresh eggs and he raises goats for milk and meat. He is curretly re-doing the interior of our home with reclaimed materials so my house is in a constant state of construction! We also enjoy hunting and fishing and own land in the Chihuahua desert along the Rio Grande river. We are anmal lovers and active in rescue. Our "breed" is the Great Pyrenees dog and we live with 3 Pyrs, a pit-lab X, a Lhaso X, 2 cats, and the assorted livestock and visiting animals that cycle through our home. I am very, very new here - I will go for my first info session on the 18th. No reason to go into detail regarding my weight battles right now as I am sure my story, all though my own, is much like everyone else's. Ultimately the long and short is that I want to be as healthy as I can be, I want to live as long as I can, and I want to avoid travelling the same health path my relatives have travelled! Plus-I'm tired of hurting all over, of attempting to exercise daily and feeling guilty when I stop because of pain, of gaining weight if I *look* at a picture of food and of riding the up and down roller coaster of the thrilling victory of weight loss and the crushing defeat each time I gain it plus all back again. I'm tired of being tired! I want to spend my weekends hiking and goofing and playing instead of laying on my bed trying to rest up enough to be ready for the comming work week. My life is more than woek and laying on the bed and damnit! I want to enjoy my time off!! Soooo...umm ok. Hi y'all! Kaj