RJ'S/beginning

A woman I knew for so many years. I was friends with her and at the time of my surgery she was on the same floor and had some procedure done. I was a prisoner in my bed as most of you know as I could not walk. Her friends and family visited her in the hospital and for several days. They came in and out of the area I was in. Not one of her family member came to see me or even peeked their heads in to say how are you or nothing. Later when I was home under nurses care, they pulled into my driveway and her husband went to the garage where my husband was working on a hobby of his and told him that he never knew I was at the hospital and that I had been so sick... My husband thanked him for coming but knew that he was lying right to his face. They knew I was there because another friend of mine kept him and his family in the loop about me being so ill. He was shocked when he saw me before this in the hospital. I had to see plastics. He worked in that area. He looked at me but did not know it was me until my hubby stood behind my wheel chair and he literally gasped. ( I think then it really dawned on him that I had almost died ) The next week is when they came to our driveway and this wife was there because she wanted to take a peek at me and see for herself if it was all true. I did not go outside as I still could not manage the steps. The reason I am recounting this story is because I saw her at the hospital last Friday and she and I were not 5 feet away from each other. I smiled at her because I am that kind of person. It is natural for me to just do that. She gave me the once over and furrowed her brows. i know she must have been in pain. But she could have smiled. As we walked past each other our shoulders were less then a foot apart and she just kept right on going. Years ago she depended on me to take her diabetic mother back and forth to the hospital. Once her mother even had a heart attack in the back seat of my car. Other things I was there for her too...but things changed with everyone I know once I had a nervous break down and went into a deep depression. Everyone stopped see me or talking to me... I believe that she did not have a clue who I was. As I walked past her I smiled to myself and you know why? Because I don't care anymore about any of my former friends. It is a new beginning for me and since I don't look anything like the former me I don't have to fake it and be all nice and friendly when I know they don't give a Damn... I am growing up folks. I am going forward and am realizing that not only have I changed on the outside but the changes on the inside are happening as well.... Just thought I would share!

Saint John N.B Canada...Really needs help....I am open to anything I can do to bring this about! @@Alex Brecher

Sorry....did not read enough about you....So glad you did not do any of that with a fresh surgery...Dang girl...Talk about hurt... We all have times before , during and after we have surgery to learn what is our triggers that make us want to eat.....You just found one of yours...Maybe keep a Protein bar in your car. Or some nuts that you enjoy....

I am trying to figure out how you got all that in your sleeve/bypass or band? don't see which one you have had....

I have been prescribed Vagifem 10 any trouble for any of you with this product.. ​So far my pain has lessened some......

Get up run as fast as you can and catch up to that wagon. Jump and and continue your journey. Get back to basics and call it a day.....You can do this and stay away from drive throughs...That food is just nasty!

Give her some time. Everyone handles grief and loss differently..Take what she said with a whole cup of salt and go on. She will be there after. She is worried she will lose you too. Don't take what she says personally at a time of great grief to her. She probably has no idea how it came out...Pain can do that to you... A year from now if she says it. I suggest guns a blazing....For now she needs support too.... Do what you need to do for you and the welfare of your family. It is your choice to be healthy and happy and there for your children. Not hers!

Try spending 5 months in the hospital due to complications with the sleeve. Leak, septic, 14 surgeries, coma, feeding tube for almost 5 months. Having a Trachea, temperature. Learn to walk again, talk again, write again, eat again, category 5 bed sore. Lost all my hair...I could go on and on.....A total of 87 lbs. went off during that stay. The rest was me working the program. And now I am into exercise...All a slow and painful process to get where I am and to continue... But I am alive and the world is my oyster and I do not regret one thing that happened to me because I am really alive and finally living after so long in chronic pain...Plus I had a dedicated team that worked with me and still do.....

If your post menopausal you are likely to have some form of this happen to you as well.... Hate the get older game..Just not fair..Kids gone, more time with hubby and then bang....It isn't working properly and you can't go crazy......dang it anyway!

Yes my sister mentioned this product to me.. I will give it a try. Hope it comes in an extra large tube...lol

No I did not but I did not know that I was post menopausal either. Apparently it happens to every woman at this stage. I would think by now they would have a better collusion. But the surgeon told me the risks of cancer this way is very, very, small. My sister is sure she got breast cancer from this treatment only she used the cream. I can already feel a difference when the pill is inserted...Not as painful!

Boy you really put it all together. Kinda a smart one aren't you! Feel your pain though. i have not been without my old friends as long as you have. I hope I handle it as well as you do...I don't feel so alone in my situation now. i see that someone else experienced it and came through it. I really want to be like you when I grow up in this area. Esp. when the pain eases. For now it is still fresh for me. But you give me hope!! Thank you for that

Okay so they tell me I am post menopause and half way done. I hurt like he double hockey sticks when we ( hubby ) and me are having sex. I am told by the surgeon that I have to take an estrogen pill each night for 14 days insert into vagina. The 2 times a week there after. I just got off the phone with my sister who said she had the same thing and took the cream instead and a year later she had breast cancer. Her Doctor said it was most likely caused by the cream... How does anyone else deal with this if you do. Is it really likely I could get breast cancer from this? If you have the problem and don't take estrogen for it. What do you take or do? Now I am concerned about the possibility of cancer. My Surgeon said that the stats have not been conclusive for this type of estrogen studies...So far they have messed up the findings and it has gone in favor so far that woman are not getting cancer this way of taking estrogen because it is not going through the entire body but is directed to one spot... Anyone!

You deserve all the best! You have worked hard to feel wonderful.Congratulations! Did you have to mention a warm climate we are still in a deep freeze here in Eastern Canada!

I think that if my husband hears me say one more time that I am so scared of gaining my weight back he may divorce me...I think when you have come this far in the journey and anywhere is this journey that fear is a good thing to a certain extent. He is very surprised that I am not the other way panicking that I'm losing too much. I always worried about that. Oh the changes we make as we get older and our mind set changes...... That is only one thing I worry about on a daily basis.....Comes with the territory I think!

There are a lot of threads on this site that talk about this very subject. In fact most of us have a story to tell. I am sorry that this has happened already to you. You know now that this individual is not a supporter for you. You can evaluate the friendship and decide if it is worth fighting for or not. Sorry hun. Most on this forum have faced what you are facing and chose to go on in life without that extra baggage. I did. I lost all my friends except one. I don't know if it is because she needs me more then I need her or that she truly loves me...But she is the only one that is still part of my life. The rest received letters explaining the end of our friendships and I have not heard from any of them since... Hope it does not come to that for you...But right now so early out......you need true honest and helpful support! All the best kid!

We all understand your point. We are not condoning the word fat or the meaning of it or the fact that is was said. What we are trying to get you to see is that there is nothing else she can do except apologize. You are right in your feelings. They are true and not unwarranted. But the fact remains that this is all that can be done. hopefully we have all taken away something from this thread that we can use or not use to encourage others. There is no giving a pound of flesh to satisfy those who are upset by this thread. We get your thought process. We understand. Please don't be upset because we see it both ways. I can tell from your posts that you are sensitive to others and their thoughts and most likely have experienced this yourself and been like me...Will remember until the day you die...But we must go on. You must go on. Consider her corrected. And that she has the free will to grow and change and see things differently then before... I hope the very best for you in your journey. Like all of us...True success.....

Thanks..lol

Me too so far... still have some to go. your right. it is the most important thing to encourage one another and your comments were spot on.....

Today was a good start. My trainer said he can see some refinement in my muscles...There you go..It is working. He said muscle!!!! Asked him if he could see it on my butt. But he just laughed and said we are getting there you know. It is going to be something when I get all my muscle mass back.... Can you call this a NSV!

You might have your opinion, but it's not always the correct thing to state your opinion and if you do, there's a way to state that opinion. What exactly was the point of stating that a bunch of people that were on a weight loss journey were "STILL FAT"? Like I said before, these people could have been down 100 or more pounds not to mention that they could no longer be suffering from co-morbidities which is a successful journey in itself. My point is you don't know their journey, obstacles, experiences, etc. and to make a rash negative observation is unwarranted and unfair. And please know that people are probably looking at you (us) and saying that we would STILL be fat if we hadn't had surgery, which I'm sure feels about as good as someone saying we're still fat! Absolutely, i did mention some of the names I was called when I was obese. But I think that the OP understands that she posted the wrong word. And has apologized more then once. How long does she or anyone on here have to be chastised for making an error in words. Most likely she has also learned some new things from the replies she has gotten regarding this subject! Not everyone has an elegant way with words. You don't know what she has been through either and how important this meeting was for her..... And your right and has been stressed a lot lately on this forum....This is my "opinion" I am not saying using the word fat was right. I just think the poster got the message! What else can she do but apologize which she has done. I can only remind you that what you write is your opinion as well. Thank you for your feedback.

congratulations..So many more to come!!

Should you brush your teeth before or after ? After, some use salt Water. Others use tooth paste....Me tooth paste for now! LOL

Yup you are right @LipstickLady. No argument here! I did not write my post to discipline anyone...It is just my "opinion" hun!

Day 2 put oil in mouth and almost lost my cookies....now that the oil is dissolved I am okay again...20 min. And I will feel that fresh breath and clean teeth feeling like yesterday.....To bad about the gagging...Going to continue for 2 weeks just to see if there is a difference...uggggggggg