RJ'S/beginning

It is two years today that I had WLS. I have been plunged into a bit of a fog over the whole thought of it. I know since I had this life changing surgery that I am no longer the person I was before in any way. I think completely different. Believe things differently and look completely different as well. I found out yesterday that I will have my 17th surgery on Nov. 27 to repair part of the bedsore scar. So it continues. That is one of the reasons for distress. But it is not all bad. There are some pretty amazing things I have learned about myself and experienced through this journey until now. I know myself better and have a lot more energy then before. I know that a lot of you know parts of my story and know that I would do it all again in a second if it meant that I would be the person I am now. I have met some very wonderful people on this forum and it would take pages to list them all. Each shared in my journey thus far and I thank you for your encouragement and help when I needed it. Could not have gotten this far with out all of you. I only dreamed of a time that I would weigh this much and be so happy with it. Another year starts tomorrow and the continued fight for health and well being is ahead of me. I wish all of you the same outcome. I just can't believe it..TWO YEARS since I told them to get this show on the road.....

Talk to the doctor ask him if there is another plan. What is going to happen next and what can they do to help her have hope. This sounds serious. I was one of those that suffered too. PM me and I will help you as much as I can using what I know about my own experience.

Yes it can cause havoc. Sorry you are in so much distress.

It was the ' it would take serious effort to do that' I found unfair. I just wanted you to know that I did not eat way to much to get a leak. So many times patients are not equipped to handle complications because they are simply unaware of the fact that they happen more then we think. And even if one person gets a leak it is awful and unfair. No one is ever prepared for the long haul of complications. Maybe I could have said it better. But i am not perfect and I am always so sad when people end up with complications. This is supposed to be a good experience. Positive and supportive. And those that are like me feel like we did something wrong to have these things happen to us. It is like being sucker punched in a way. There is enough to deal with without complications... That is why I responded quickly to your comment @@georgiare . Not personal just wanted to clear up the comment mentioned above. Sorry if i offended you. Not my intention at all. I promise you. Thank you for bringing your feelings to my attention.

As I read the post I saw myself except the part of no little children to take care of. These things can happen but for me the outcome is good. I have bounced back to almost 100%. It is no guarantee that every ones surgery will go well. I know my surgeon asked me what the worst thing that could happen to me was....I said death. Well I really think that what I went through and still going through might be worse then death. But I do not regret any of it and would lay down on that table again and do it all for what and who I have become... Be a positive influence on the person that suffers from complications and be there for them. Help her get to the goal that was so very important to her to take her to this point. No one should go through these types of surgery without knowing the risks and if this person is real or not it is good to know that there are others who struggle to get there, to stay there and still fight the complications. But would not do anything different because of the results...

I did not seriously over eat. I got an ulcer which caused a leak 18 months out. Ulcers are more common then you think in WLS patients. And steps need to be taken to avoid this happening. I am on some pretty strong meds now to avoid another one. The abscess is still there but no longer connected to the leak. Sometimes s**t happens and when we make blank statements like that it can keep us from being well informed.

Well I do appreciate recycled logic. And it is true we can worry about things that may never happen to us. I had a leak 6 days after surgery. And then again 18 months after surgery. I am in contact with a lady who had one 8 months after surgery and so I know it can happen. Rare but happens. Look after your sleeve. Take care to do as your surgeon advises. You will lesson the chances okay! I was one in thousands that have had these kinds of complications. So most likely you will not have them... As I said these are rare, no extremely rare as the time passes by. But it is not to say it can't happen. It can and it is one more thing that is never mentioned when you are in for your pre appointments. I am rare in having one 18 months out and so is my friend.

When I am out shopping I have found over and over again that the poor retail field has the hardest time dealing with those who tell it like it is in their own minds. You can see it in their manner as they try to keep it together after a person has raked them over the coals for saying what they think......I never leave a clerk or teller without making them smile or compliment them in some way....A lot tell me I have made their day and sometimes they do extra things for me..... I used to be that person that said what I thought and then learned to not say what I thought and became quiet and would think out what I was going to say or how it might affect people. There has to be a happy medium. I don't like abusive people who think they have a right to take their feeling out on me when I have made a mistake in judgement. It feels horrible to be made to feel you are dirt under someones feet. So then I will take them on. But most of the time it is not done to hurt us it was an error in thought. I like to think that most of the time people don't mean to hurt so if they say something I will ask if they meant to say it that way....The only field I am not understanding about is medical because they should know better. It hurts when they say not so nice things.....

If every body in the world were to give their opinions by holding back compassion or fellow feeling or plain ignorance of fact. We would be in one big mess. Everyone on this planet would be an a**hole. We would spend all out time killing each other off for the offences against us. Even the tiniest comment that did not suit us. Where does it stop. Are we in junior high for the rest of our lives. I think there are times when a person does need to put it out there and in no uncertain terms. And those times are for those who should by all means know better. But I like to think that mankind in general does not mean any harm. Which is well meaning comments but do not hit the mark.... Celebrating being a b***h. Nice! Congratulating ones self for no filter like the person who called you out....I don't know seems to me to be an exercise in fruitlessness. Some people just will never get it and so time wasted big time I think..Just my opinion! Nothing more.....

There are enough a**holes in this world without adding another to the mix. I feel that you do need to express how you feel about things and be plain. But I also think that counting the cost of the damage will be the turning point for you. We all have so much pent up inside of us because of the abuse we took during our former lives. It has to come out some how. But is it worth it to be so forth coming. A choice to make! There are people that I no longer talk to or have dealings with because of my choice to have WLS. I lost them all. And I have not looked back. You are right. there is a lot more to this new way of life then losing weight. It is an emotional, physical and mental change. Don't let yourself become someone you can't live with. Make this a positive life change for you.

It would also be a great idea to get some coconut Water no pulp and drink some as it is a natural hydrator. Or some G2 Gatorade.. or mineral water...All good got dehydration. :0

PLEASE....do me 2 favors. First put that scale away. You are setting yourself up for numbers being the main issue here. Which it is not. Your health is and so it would be less sabotaging if you weighed once a month for now! Second take four lbs of butter. Place them on your counter. Stack them up and then lift them up. That is the weight you lost in one week. Not to shabby if you ask me...It is not a matter of losing slowly or fast or like Jill or Jim. This is your life, your body and you will lose according to how your body responds. For now concentrate on getting better and letting your body heal. there is a lot of stuff in your system that is working its way out..Your body will protect itself until it can no longer. If you see it that way...Well your right on course...

Thank you hun..

Thank you both

I bet there is a lot of things you were not before you started this journey and so much has changed for you in the way you see yourself and food. It is all part of a big picture of getting healthy. Water helps to lubricate your body and since we are over 90% water, it is essential. I know you can do this...Water is not the worst thing you could be struggling with. When I was researching WLS I followed this lady who was shy but honest about her journey. I wish she still posted I would love to know where she is today. Anyway I digress. She had an issue with M n M's. She would suck off the candy coating and then spit them out. She could not stop it. Tried everything. I don't know to this day if she ever licked it.( pardon the pun!) But to me, that was her hardest part. Water is natural, we need it. you can increase your intake a little at a time and you will get there. Just keep some with you all the time. I take aa bottle where ever I go and it helps remind me now as I no longer enjoy the taste of it....

Oh trust me it is not hunger you feel. But most likely gas. You have had major surgery and your tummy is swollen and raw. liquids is all you can handle at this time. When you do change from liquids to mushy you will feel a difference. It will be difficult to get much in as you will feel full with a couple of bites. Then to solids. There is the part that you will really feel the difficulty to get in your 60 g of Protein at first. It will be a struggle it is for most of us. Then you will get signs that you are full and learn how your own body reacts to foods and amounts of food. I know when my nose runs and I start to sneeze to push the plate away. If I eat one more bite I pay for it dearly. This is the honeymoon period I am talking about where you really learn to read your body. Follow your teams guidelines and you will learn to recognize when you are hungry and when it is habits returning or something else. it takes time.....You got this!

Most of the time I was very successful with my water intake. I am able to drink a 30 oz container of flavored water in 15 min now. I also drink G2 Gatorade 1/2 and 1/2 with water once a day to help keep the electrolytes up. This insures me that even now I will not get dehydrated. I have learned that coconut water is a natural hydrator. So I also keep that on hand..No pulp in mine...yuck! It is difficult to do it at the beginning. I used hot water and lemon as well. Lemon water and fruit water. It is hard some days even now as I get busier then I was before but during the period where I was losing the most I just bought 2 containers that were 32 oz each and made sure I drank them even if it took until midnight... Before surgery I was drinking about 2 lltres a day maybe more. And after hated the taste of water. Still do at times. So I added strawberries, kiwis or lemons stuff like that to make it tastier. By the way, it takes time to get it all in order. It is difficult to do everything right throughout this journey. Don't be too hard on yourself. It will become habit and then your body will crave it. Then you will reach for water instead of anything else. It is when you reach goal that you forget certain rules and let go a little. Me I am working to stay focused all the time. Forever seems like forever. But I am still learning and changing.

That incision is also where they pulled your stomach out. It is a little hole to handle both things. You had major surgery. You are going to hurt even when that incision is healed over and feels better because we have to also heal on the inside. The skin alone has 3 layers that has to heal. there are no minor surgeries. And so it takes time to heal. Turning or bending or lifting things can put a strain on it. and all the incisions for that matter. I guess it depends on how well you treat yourself whether the pain subsides quickly or not. Also there will be scar tissue. The body always forms scar tissue. You want that minimal as it will pull on other parts of your body and also cause discomfort. So take it easy for now and if you have Tylenol take some for the pain. And let yourself heal....Doctor is out now... I am not a doctor that was a joke. lol

In a few days I will be 2 years out as well. There are days that I could eat the moon. Not joking. Then days where I can barely get anything down at all. It is difficult to do it all right 100 % of the time. Impossible for sure. But we have to keep it under control. A 1 lb gain will turn into 2 then 5 then 10. And before we know it we will be part of the 30% that gained it back after paying such a huge price for our health and well being. There are a few things you can do to bring it around. One have a number that you can live with as a gain and then push the panic button on it at that point. So this means weighing every week. I never did before goal but now I do and I have a 5 lb measure that I stop and return to my basics until the weight goes down again. This morning I was up 5 lbs. And so today I started to pull the reins in and go back to eating no refined sugar and mostly Protein. Water I can neglect easily. Bad me! I drank more of it today and will work on it until the 5 are gone again. Go back to measuring the 1 cup size and protein first, then veggies, fruit and last but not least carbs. I believe that we need carbs in our diet esp. Complex carbs which make a complete protein. Get out side and walk and start really moving again and revisit all the reasons you did this in the first place. That is what I do and no one is perfect. This will be a war until our last breath. But we can win battles....Keep a little fear of failure in front of you and it will spur you to action.....I think sometimes we forget how hard we worked to lose even the smallest amount of weight. We are worth it. We are worth keeping it off. We are worth having a better life. You deserve it all as well. Don't forget that! Put a plan in place for when this happens and follow the plan. You got this!

Standing outside this morning I looked about and all was quiet. Moments later a light breeze started to affect one of the Maples we planted thirty years ago. It drew my attention because it was a soft rustling noise that came from no where and sounded peaceful and pleasant. Suddenly in the distance I could hear the rumbling of thunder and it felt ominous. Approaching my peaceful moment with the ability to give me cause to worry. It hit me that the entire experience of a few moments was comparable to the journey of weight loss surgery. We get to a point where we give in and think that we have reached the bottom of our life. There is nothing left and we think there is nothing for us out there to help or offer us an option to turn our lives around. But through gentle words and in the form of encouragement by family, friends and the medical field we learn about Bariatric Surgery. We are offered a tool that can assist us to find a new path to good health and well being. A fear builds deep within us but we know inside that this is the only option left. This is make or break it time and we have no where else to go. We see our mortality and the future looks dim. We are willing to do what it takes to find ourselves on the other side which offers a new life without food addiction. We can't even imagine how that would feel to be thin and in good health. Finally having the real control of our future and our lives. Not being the object of well intentioned or intentional comments or opinions that hurt so deep we feel wounded and or scarred for the rest of our days. But it is not to be. We have an option. A gentle breeze overcomes us as we realize we do have an option. We do have a future. One that will keep us around long enough to enjoy the rest of our lives as the person we always wanted to be. Being able to watch our children grow up and then the grandchildren. Not to mention doing all the things you thought you would never do. Making a bucket list of experiences you want to have and places you want to go. Not to mention the effects this new and improved you will have in a positive way with your family and friends, work acquaintances and yes even strangers. This is the gentle breeze of realization that is engulfing your spirit and giving you hope for a better life ahead. When does the thunder roll in the distance to threaten this new found peace you are experiencing? When you realize that it will take real effort on your part to accomplish this. When you take the time to really start changing how you view food and figure out why you used food as a comfort in good times and in bad. We are conditioned to believe that food plays a much bigger roll in our lives then simply giving us the proper nutrients to keep our bodies in good working order. By well meaning parents who told us how it was so important to clean our plates to the diet industry that makes millions off of failed diets. The false comfort in the form of food related slogans that advertising companies use to make us think that food equals happiness. That food is the backbone of our lives. Here are a few. Help yourself to happiness – Golden Coral Come hungry, leave happy – IHOP Unwrap a smile – Little Debbie's Comfort in every bite – Mars Bar Life tastes better with KFC – Kentucky Fried Chicken Little nuggets of joy- McDonald's Chicken McNuggets Double your flavor,double your fun – Double Mint Gum Feels like home – Sarah Lee Get your smile on – Lay's And on and on, teaching us that food is the answer to all our woes and will bring us happiness. But we know from our own personal experiences that this is not the case. And yet we battle these feelings of needing food as the drug of choice to fulfill in us an emptiness every single day. We find ourselves reverting back to the habits that has brought us momentary relief only to find that it did not help at all. This is the thunder that we all experience in our journey. The fight to stay on course and not give into the heavy winds and booming sounds of habit or the artificial comfort of using food to make us feel better. We are in a war. We will win a battle at a time. We will get there. Maybe not today or tomorrow but we will control this disease. Weight loss surgery is our tool to learn new life long habits and choices that will once again bring the gentle breeze of hope and then success.

It sounds like the cool kids are ignoring you. Like in high school..lol. Look, are you still in contact with the former girls who you were comfortable with? If you are develop those friendships and just do your job. Things change in a snap and some people just don't want to be friends. They could be transferred soon as well. If you like what you do then do it and work to build relationships with new people . There are millions of people out there looking for a good person for friendship. It is not the race card. That is so over used. It is they look at you as their superior and that they cannot cross that line. So be it. They are happy where they are. Now you on the other hand are not. A transfer might be the answer but then you may find your self in a worse place. You sound like a really caring, nice person. I would be your friend if I was there. For sure!

So normal to feel like you feel. So normal to finally make this decision. so normal to feel sick and panicky over the unknown. Normal to get to the hospital and want to flee for fear of what might happen and how you will have to change so much and work very hard to accomplish your goals. It is not the easy way out but a brave thing to recognize that you need a tool to help you. But that does not stop the what ifs from coming up in an fury. I did not feel any of those things. I could not wait and went head long into everything thinking this was the way to go. I told them when I was wheeled into the OR ' lets get this show on the road' well..the rest is history. You can fear and cry and feel anxiety over this..It is okay...It is what it is...But and I say but....You will travel a journey, a road to health and well being and be there for your family and other loved ones. Let the anxiety pass through you do not fight it. It is part of this journey. But keep going in the healthy direction. You got this!

Thank you your pretty awesome yourself.....

Your funny....lol

The new photo is beautiful. Where have you been Roo. I think about you now and then you know! I see your still walking the walk and talking the talk. Congrats yourself girl..The weight you have lost is no sneeze either. Congrats. Hey stick around hun. Love hearing your comments you know! Thanks for the kind words...