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I'm so grateful to have found this site and have read a number of stories that made me feel less alone in my own struggle. Here is my story: March of 2008 I saw a weight loss surgeon who said all the right things to convince me I was too fat to lose weight on my own and the only way to have lifelong success was to sign up for WLS which required a thousand dollar deposit. I weighed 265 lbs at the time and in my late 30s was far too tired to try another diet and exercise program that would inevitably result in another 10lb weight gain. January of 2008 my employer switched to a new insurance carrier, I submitted paperwork in March for coverage for WLS and eventually got the definitive "no" in November 2008. Fast forward to October 2009, same doctor, same spiel, weight now 295lbs and co-morbidities presented to insurance carrier requesting coverage- denied. Februaury 2011, made a "lets just see" call to insurance carrier to find out if requirements were met........found out that one more year of a documented weight and BMI over 40 and the coverage would be extended! I put my ducks in a row and within 2 weeks of my initial doctors visit in February 2012 I was able to schedule my surgery for mid March. I was shocked to find my weight ballooned to 347lbs but thrilled when I lost 16 lbs pre-surgery in a short 12 days. I took 5 days off work, gave away all the food in my pantry and bought the cutest pajamas I could find for my 3 day hospital stay. I packed my bag on Sunday and even though I was nervous and exited I slept until 5am when I took a luxurious bubble bath and set out for the hospital @ 7am. In pre-op my precious daughter sat and prayed with me, my anesthesiologist joked about just turning the big 40 too, my surgeon came in and smiled, answered my questions, quelled my fears and prayed with my daughter and I. Nothing but blackness. I barely woke to find myself in PACU alone and asked for my daughter to be allowed in.."sure honey, which one is she?"..."hmm, oh, she's the one with pink hair!". My sweet daughter came in and praised God with me that I was breathing and everything seemed fine. Fade to black again. I'm in a private room now and my daughter is sleeping on the sofa. The nurse comes in, the IV is checked, "here's your button for the morphine pump. Any time you feel pain coming on you press it." I'm not in pain, I feel my stomach and it feels flat already, stupid, it must be the drugs. My surgeon comes in with his PA and he looks flushed, sweaty and triumphant, "eveything went wonderful! no problems, a textbook case if there ever was one." we smile and I joke about calling What Not To Wear to get a new wardrobe. I get up to the bathjroom as soon as I can. I'm anxious to see how I look and change out of the hospital gown. It's been 3hrs since surgery and i'm in my pajamas, robe and snuggly slippers and my daughter takes my arm and we begin our walk around the unit. I walk and walk, smiling and thinking what a good patient I am, no DVTs for me. My stay is uneventful, day 3 my surgeon smiles and says "time to go home!" I fill my prescriptions but I haven't touched the pain medicine and feel so powerful that I drive myself home. Then the horror begins. The first noght i'm home I wind up in the bathroom with forceful diarhea that comes in waves of gut wrenching spasms. Over and over again, just foul smelling liquid, I sit there too long and now i'm sick, I pull the trash can over and vomit clear liquid until I think i'm going to pass out. My daughter gets me to bed, time to take the meds and not try to do it on my own, I slump back and its daytime now. My head is spinning and the spasms come again, diarhea, vomit.... I step on the scale, smile in a drug haze and think wow i've lost 2 more lbs! Nothing is clear anymore, what day is it? what time is it? did I take my pills? was it a dream or did I really eat a piece of chicken from the refrigerator? why won't the nausea stop? why do the Protein shakes suddenly taste like dog butt? I can't get anything in, i'm trying to force 2oz popsicles down but when I finish one its back to the bathroom with waves of diarhea and vomiting. Day 6 post-op, I manage to take a shower with my daughter holding me up, pack 2 Protein Shakes and my giant Water bottle and trot off to work. I make it 2hrs into a ten hour shift and spend most of it in the bathroom vomiting blood...time to call the doctor. I talk to the nurse who tellls me to drink as much water as I can. I can't. I call and talk to another nurse who says to try a different Protein shake. I'm weak and sick and starting to lose it...I scream at my daughter "why won't you help me?". I call the nurse again, the PA calls me back "have you been able to take your meds and get some water in?" no, NO! It's been 11 days since surgery and now we're worried for some reason and my daughter has my bag packed and we're back at the hospital where they have my room ready and they put me back in a hospital gown. I don't see my doctor until Monday but Fri, Sat and Sun a variety of PAs mand other surgeons from the office come in and tell me things and they'll support me and some people have a harder time and just give it time, time time. Monday the first of many PICC lines come and the tests start. In 3 days I blew 11 IV lines. The PICC line sounds wonderful but they hit my ulnar nerve and the vein occluded and I went back to my room with an open hole in my arm, a second PICC and a gown covered in blood..how did that happen with a sterile drape? So I can't eat but they think I won't and they tell me all the reasons I need to and they threaten if I don't its time for TPN. I try, I puke. I try everything, Unjury- ick, water-gross, eggs-vomit, pudding, ice cream, sherbet, yogurt, Jello... the nausea wells up from my toes and never ends. The TPN starts on Tuesday, I leave the hospital 13 days later, Maundy Thursday, I beg because tomorrow its Good Friday and I can't bear to be away from daughter on Easter. Monday after Easter I have lost 8 lbs in the 4 days i've been home, somethings wrong. The doctor says to get a liter of Fluid and some Vitamins, it'll be ok, it's not. Friday the nurses come and set up the home TPN and show me how to do IV push meds, the saline, phenergen, saline, heparin, again, the zofran, again, 8 times a day. My house becomes and infirmary, boxes and boxes of supplies, dressings, medicine, saline, alcohol swabs, heparin. The dog can't be out when the dressing is changed, the TPN bag is changed once a day, add the vitamins, push the medicine. It takes a few weeks and the meds are doubled, the nausea just won't fricking stop. The TPN is my savior. another month, double the meds again, brief periods of relief, my weight stabilizes @ 317....I had WLS for this? I can't work, i'm constantly sick and besides I have a doctors appointment every week and another test, EGD, swallowing, emptying studies, another EGD, but nothing is wrong "everything is fine, it may just take time for you. You might be on liquids for 6 months" my doctor says... liquids? it's been 3 months and I can drink about 12 oz a day... liquids? i'm still on TPN?! It's been 4 months, I can't stand the TPN, we decrease the time and I try to eat what I can when I can. My weight is 318, d?@$ WLS! We double the meds, the phenergen is 4 times the dose it was when I had surgery, does anyone know this causes heart problems? We decrease the TPN, I can only eat right after I push the meds and I do it again right afterwards, then I pass out... weight loss is tough work, I manage to get down to 314. Somethings wrong, I feel sick, sicker than usual haha...my daughter is talking to the nurse at the ER, "no she feels really sick, her heart is skipping beats maybe? her blood pressure is up. look at her arm, do you think it's swollen? what's that black mark?" They tell me I have a UTI and send me home, its Monday. I can't breathe, i'm having a heart attack, I know it, its Wednesday and we're back at the ER, the doctor smiles and says its anxiety, take some Ativan and keep taking your antibiotic...are you kidding? I throw up the antibiotic, it stinks, I crush the Ativan and sleep for days. Its Friday and the nurse calls, "how are you" my arm hurts and its swollen, "GO BACK TO THE ER" I can't, I fall back asleep. Its Saturday and I can't find my wrist, my arm is a thick puffy balloon like they use to make balloon animals. My fingers won't bend, doesn't matter cause I can't feel them anyway, i'm sick, I vomit and try to push my meds, I get in 2ccs of saline and it feels like my arm is a water balloon...I push a cc and I think I see it literally filling up, theres a black gnarled line around my upper arm, looks like a barbed wire tattoo, thank God for WLS. I'm at the ER again, its Saturday night and i'm sure they'll admit me, they HAVE to pull the PICC and give me a new one, surely they'll see that, I can't breathe, please give me some Ativan and phenergan, i'm gonna puke again. A nurse comes in and says he's from Interventional radiology, doesn't even touch my arm but smiles and leaves, we hear him outside the door "you've gotta pull that PICC, it's really bad!" a tech comes in with an ultrasound machine and pushes on the outer part of my arm, over and over, slimy gel, pushing harder, my arm isn't quite so numb now, its killing me on the underside, my armpit aches and the inner portion of my upper arm feels like someone is firing a gun into it every time they touch me. "Good news!" the ER doc smiles and tells me its just a little superficlal blood clot...yay! all we need to do is apply warm compresses and it will go away, have some noroc for the pain...great, more crap I can't swallow. "What should I do if it gets worse? what if it swells up more?" don't worry "It's fine, no need to come back even if it gets bigger, warm compresses and you'll feel alot better" It's Monday and the weekend went by in a drug induced haze. I can't use my PICC, I crush the norco and ativan and try to stay asleep, no not asleep, blacked out, like anesthesia until the doctors office opens Monday. I tell the nurse, she sets up an appointment at Interventional Radiology for them to pull and replace the PICC on Tuesday, good, hopefully i'll die by then. Its 6pm Monday and I can't take it, I might be hallucinating, I know i'm dying, I moan and rock, i'm in the car, off to the ER again. I wait for hours while people scream and cry, everybody is taken before me, I pull my sweatshirt and cover my head, I moan and lick the blood from cracked lips, I can't even stand up to go to the bathroom and vomit, 4 hours later and they wheel me back. Nurse after nurse comes in to try to start an IV, "she's dehydrated and a tough poke" "I KNOW! she's so ill tho, what are we supposed to do???" check her feet, no veins, we're gonna have to go in thru the femoral.....God no, I can't remember if I have underwear on and they're gonna cut into my groan to find a vein. "Great news!" we found a cluster of blood clots under your arm, no not one, there are several vericose veins bulging out of your arm, the PICC went bad and they strangulated and now they have clots in them. You're gonna die if you throw one to your heart or lungs, we're starting the lovanox, you're gonna be fine. 3 days of terror, I'm admitted to the hospital and the doc upstairs decides she knows what I need, they pull the PICC from my grossly swollen arm and I beg for some dilauded "this isn't a painful procedure, you don't need anything for pain." and she teaches the student nurse how to yak=nk 4 feet of tubing and wire from my arm while I sob, my daughter cries and starts to yell. The doctor leaves, she won't come back or write orders, i'm sick, no pain meds or nausea meds, try some tylenol, f**** you. I cry and demand to see another doctor, I call my doctor and the oncall doctor screams at the charge nurse...they give me ativan and phenergan, my daughter yells and threatens, the nurses hate to come in my room. Wednesday morning is the first and last time I see my surgeon, he pops his head in and smiles "so your PICC is gone now, thats what happens" when you screw up and get a blood clot is what he doesn't say. I'll see you in my office next week and we'll talk about a feeding tube. What? I had WLS 4 and a half months ago... I cry and turn and face the window, I keep the shades down. I'm sick of this, I finally get to leave @ noon on Wednesday. I have a script for Warfarin and an order to have my blood drawn every day, I have no PICC line, no IV push meds, no TPN and my arm looks like I was going for a Popeye look. I sob on the ride home. When I go to the lab the next morning they stick me 6 times and still don't get enough to run the PT/INR to check my clotting times. I fall out of the car as I try to go inside, I just sit on the grass and contemplate throwing up on the lawn, I see the neighbor and when she waves I think I should strip off my clothes and just run shrieking down the street... I need a laugh, otherwise I just cry. I'm so depressed, I see my primary doc, he orders me oral nausea meds, a compression sleeve for my arm and listens to me cry. I tell him my heart is skipping a beat, he says "phenergan can cause permanent heart damage" f*** phenergan. It's 12 days since I left the hospital without a PICC. The last thing my surgeon said was that they couldn't find a reason for my symptoms, he even asked the doctors at a seminar in California and they were all puzzled, oh well, too bad for me. My weight is down to 300 lbs now, it was 312 when I left the hospital. I made the mistake of going back to the ER last week Tuesday because my chest hurt and I was coughing and that same shortness of breath and heart thing came back. they said I was fine and were sending me home when I looked the ER doc right in the eye and said "with all due respect, the last time you said I was fine I had a blood clot that almosgt killed me, please, can you just check everything to make sure i'm ok?" tears in my eyes, he smiles, lets run another test. Theres a shadow in my lung, likely pneumonia but we can't be sure the clots haven't moved. We'll keep you for observation but we won't admit you, you're probably fine buit we'll do some IV fluids and antibiotics to be sure. They take me upstairs, I know whats coming next, nurse after nurse tries to start the IV, IM pain meds, I ask for nausea meds at 6:30 am and by 2pm I still haven't gotten any. I can't stand it so I leave, they chase me and try to make me sign something saying if I die its my own fault. I get home and chew a phenergan, drink some lortab and pass out. My primary doc said he would figure out how to get me seen by a specialist, I won't return the calls from my surgeons office, if I could put a stop payment on his check I would but insurance has already paid his fee. Maybe he's right, there's nothing to explain my symptoms, I doubt that, my skin is grey and I look like a chemo patient because my long thick brown hair has fallen out in Patches and I have a kind of crazy eyed look to me. I'm hungry and thirsty, I think I look like I could be a victim of starvation but then I laugh because i'm still so fat. I knew the risks of the surgery, pulmonary embolism, DVT, sleeve leak, infection. I was a nurse for 10 years and took care of hospice patients who looked better than me. I signed on for a magic pill, a fantastic surgery that would finally help me get to a healthy weight so I could see my daughter graduate from medical school, get married and hold my grandchildren. I wanted to avoid diabetes and stop heart disease, funny how it all worked out. If you have experienced any of the pain, nausea, depression, sadness, fear, frustration, anger or disgust like I have, tell me your story and let me know i'm not alone, i'm not crazy and it does get better. :-)

"I had a few issues 1 month post op and was in the hospital not able to eat for about 3 weeks. My docs took care of me and avoided reoperation.I would 100% do it again this surgery has changed my life. No more BP meds and I can sleep c-pap free,no achy feet,knees,back unless I really do something to cause it. I really empathize with the OP and anyone who has experienced severe complications like these. The fact remains that the risks while present are low and these folks represent that 1% . I wish nothing but the best for the OP and anyone else going through a horrific experience with the sleeve. The sleeve still saves more lives than it takes." To everyone who has asked about my mom over the last year: Unfortunately my mother passed away due to her complications from her weight loss surgery. She was confident and optimistic until the end thinking it was just another stupid thing she would have to live through. She was wrong, she died of malnutrition, pneumonia and other complications attributed to the surgery. I almost deleted the email alert that someone had replied to her post but I'm glad I didn't I'm glad I came to this site and read her story again. It's funny that she set the account up and linked it to my email because she didn't have one at the time. I think it's kind of a blessing though to get a reminder like this about her. To the person who wrote the previous reply- f*** you. I don't really care if you think the surgery helps more people than it hurts because I absolutely think you're wrong. Wait another 10 years and see the long term effects of this horrible procedure. These doctors are slicing you apart and telling you that you don't need a part of your body that God decided you did based on very few years of research. I don't know what the answer is for any of you. Surgery, pills, diet, exercise, I don't know. I do know that if I could rewind the clock and had the sweet pleasure of being with my preciousmom again that week before her first surgery I'd say- please don't do this it will kill you. Do what you want, all of you will anyway. But before you go through this please, please, please research it, watch the biggest loser and extreme weight loss and know that no matter what lies you are being told - there is another way. on behalf of my mother- RIP Mommy, I love and miss you forever!!!!!

I did the same thing and was only getting around 4-600 calories for most of my time on the high protein diet although it was recomended to get 8-900 calories. It was tough to get much more in for me even tho I was getting in more than the recomended grams of protein- around 100 each day when 80 was the target. I spent sooooo much money on the food I was determined not to cheat and make it all be for nothing, but there were several times I just couldn't take it anymore! My worst offenses in my opinion were 2 or 3 sweet potato tater tots from sonic one night, a can of diet coke on the third of my nine days, a huge slice of greasy pepperoni pizza the Friday before my Monday surgery and a piece of sugar free gum the morning of surgery. I felt so awful and guilty for failing the diet and talked to the doc, he said more people cheat worse than that and that he only had to cancel 1 surgery for a patient who had a full meal the night before surgery. He also said they can tell while they're inside whether you've cheated or not- 2 weeks of super high protein and low cal and carb cleans out your intestines, bowel and decreases the fat in your liver- patients who cheat tend to have "greasy" intestines per the doc, gross! So many of us have food issues, that's why we're here! Losing 12 or 19 lbs on the diet is great, they're looking for weight loss so there is more room to work in your tummy and the size of your liver decreases making surgery easier and safer.

That was my thinking too! If weight loss= hair loss the weight loss was a bigger improvement! Then I lost my hair and only lost 47 lbs, not the trade off I was looking for! My hair loss started right after surgery and has continued to about 5 months, it's slowed considerably in the last few weeks. When I was fatter, I had long gorgeous super thick hair that I thought was my best asset...hopefully it will grow back the same eventually but my bigger concern is getting the rest of the weight off and keeping off!

Thank you so much for the input! I am really angry at myself along with the doctor's and you're right- nothing will fix that externally, it's something I will have to work through. I'm so glad you've been able to get beyond that and your health has improved, that's the most important thing! When you feel terrible or are in pain it's difficult to let the desire for retribution to go, I hope that with time and healing I will get to that point. I've been lucky- I am grateful for my life and the small improvements that come sooooo slowly!

Good for you that you've got that desire! Walking helps prevent blood clots in the legs which is a big risk after surgery. My doc suggested waiting for real exercise-exercise (weights, heavy cardio etc) until the 6 week appointment when they had us meet with an exercise physiologist. I had it done laproscopically and they said to use the same rule as sex- do it when you're comfortable. By 6 weeks alot of healing has taken place and you should be able to rock on that eliptical!

I'm so sorry you had that experience. I was claustrophobic during my sleep study and the anxiety had me feeling the same way! When you've been beaten down by people telling you you're fat or talking to you negatively it's easy to think that's what everyone will do. I hope you have a positive experience with the nutritionist, psychologist etc... I think most of them are working in this field because they really want to help overweight people (or were one themselves) and not because they are fat haters. I tried several times to get approval for the surgery and couldn't get it past insurance. Each time I was denied I got knocked further and further down emotionally, got more depressed and gained more weight. I was not strong enough to go self-pay and I honestly was shocked when I actually got the approval. There was no way I would have been able to save or set aside the money even if it meant losing weight to save my life. I didn't think I would be strong enough to go through the entire process another time or that I would be able to lose any weight, let alone 15 pounds before the surgery- I thought I would be the one person who forced them to cancel due to weight gain. Most of us are emotional eaters and when you take away our coping mechanism we get frustrated and scared and feel like we have failed or will fail. For what it's worth, you aren't alone, other people have felt or are feeling this way right now. You aren't alone, even though we don't always admit it, alot of us are scared, depressed, feel fat and worthless. You aren't alone, people will read this post and identify with it like I did, they will feel compassion for you and send you good wishes and prayer. You aren't alone, support may come in the strangest of places, even if it's on a message board, you deserve it, it's being given by people who know, who've been fat, who understand. You are not alone, you don't have to stand unsupported and without cheerleaders, let us support you, cheer you on and rejoice with you in your triumphs. You are not alone! Your feelings and emotions are valid and even if you feel like giving up, continue to reach out for support, there are lots of us here to provide it!

*UPDATE* For all who asked: I talked to a local malpractice attorney, he said no one legitimate would take my case. It seems if a doctor has been reckless, negligent and unprofessional, it would be best if they killed you. The problem it seems, I haven't died yet and it isn't "profitible" for them to file suit. He was really very nice and explained some of what I suspected- it would require hiring specialists to say what the doctors did was wrong which would be thousands of dollars on their end. Since I didn't lose my life, or at least a limb, the case is likely worth less than 50k and they would eat up most of it in expert testimony. How can that be? seriously? oh well, there has to be a dollar amount placed on everything and apparently this isn't worth a whole lot! His suggestion was to call the hospital and talk to their patient liason or the risk management department and complain about my stay. I replied it wasn't a hotel and I didn't need to complain, what they did was grossly negligent and almost cost me my life and my daughter her mother. I'm on the fence about trying another attorney, I don't want to hear the same thing but I also don't want a sleaze ball giving my high expectations and hopes that can't be realized. I AM pissed, I've been hurting, I DID suffer for way too long, NO ONE listened to me, I DESERVE compensation for the misery they put me through, I want them to pay for what they did, I want everyone to know what they did. I'm petty and childish and want retribution for the wrongdoing, to feel vindicated in a courtroom, in front of a judge and jury, to be able to look at them and tell them what they did came close to ruining my life and ask who would have mothered my child had I died? To remind them the hippocratic oath says to do no harm and they failed, they harmed me, left me in pain, didn't ease my suffering, blew me off as just another fatty who didn't care enough to take care of themselves and what were they supposed to do? fix all the damage I did to my body over 40 years? My biggest concern is for other patients seen both at the hospitals and by the doctors involved. I really don't want to ruin anyones career but I also don't want these doctors thinking that the bare minimum is good enough. We are patients, living, breathing human beings who are at the mercy of people who take one look at you or review your file and decide you're a complainer, you can't tolerate a small amount of pain, you're a drug seeker, you like the attention, you're a hypochondriac, you should just shut up and be quiet or better yet, just stay home. I'm still not able to eat and drink enough to sustain myself but found milk and bread settle my stomach so I don't feel like i'm constantly spinning from the nausea. The problem with that has been a temporary 5 lb weight gain- sooo scary, i've lost all but a pound, back up to 301, great! Having some temporary relief has made it worth it though, I honestly hoped I would die some days because the nausea and vomiting were so bad, feeling that vomit well up from your toes and the waiting, trying to stop it from happening, worrying about the pills you took earlier and whether they were in your intestines or stuck in your pouch and would come up with the vomit, being so tired you aren't sure you'll actually live through another stomach spasm because when they start they don't stop, even if you've vomited up everything and you just lie there, with your eyes bulging out and your mouth open with your tongue pushed out and you can't slow it enough to even catch your breath. So the good news is that my PCP referred me to not 1 but 2 departments at the University where I will see a gastroenterologist and another bariatric surgeon to get some insight into the complications and hopefully a long term fix. If anyone can help, it's the University hospita,l and I am so thankful that my PCP was able to get me in there! The blood clots in my arm have not subsided which is slightly unusual and makes me worry, alot. For anyone with hand or arm problems, it's similar to nerve issues like carpal tunnel or guyon canal compression etc.... i'm having pain, numbness and tingling just like I did before I had surgery on my hands. My arm is still swollen and i've woken up with my hand huge and cold several times this week. It feels like theres a rubber band at my anticubital that is tightening and irritating the nerves. The scary thing is that neuropathy and nerve issues can be the result of med toxicity and could be permanent. I don't believe that is the case, I think it's just from the vericose veins and the blood clots. I hope that's the scenario, but to find out either way and see if it requires surgery, I have been referred to a vascular surgeon. yay! I've gotten a reprieve from the terrible trips to the lab for blood draws! My insurance carrier has covered a home PT monitor to check my clotting times. It only takes a drop of blood and gives the score which I call in to the doctors office every day. It has been running high so they decreased my coumadin which means only3 pills instead of 6 every morning- I can't tell you what a relief it has been! I took some flowers to the lab tech who had been drawing my blood these last few weeks. She was my hero, she gave me tiny infant foot warmers that I would put on before I went every day so they could increase the blood flow and make it easier for them to get. She listened to everything I said about where to try a stick and avoided the veins I told her to, even though she could see them and really wanted to poke them, she believed me when I said they would blow if she got one or worse yet, roll and hide when she went to stick which causes them to poke you and then dig, dig, dig for the vein they know is there- they won't get it and you'll be miserable, eventually scar tissue forms and there won't be any more blood draws in that spot. The greatest things through all of this have been the support, compassion and sincerety i've been met with while sharing my story. My primary doc was so open, honest and apologetic for what I went through, not even my surgeon has admitted anything went wrong but my PCP knew something wasn't right, he listened to me and fought for me. When I said I couldn't go back to my surgeon's office he personally contacted specialists and got me in to the best ones he could find. I'm much more optimistic and hopeful that someone, somewhere will figure out my issues and help me. It has to keep going up from here right? :-)

I saw a commercial for the Fructis stuff and wanted to try it. I've used that brand and like it so I don't feel like I would be dissapointed. Doesn't it have caffeine in it which is supposed to help with scalp stimulation?

My doc said the 3 month mark was the worst too. It's supposed to take that much time for your Protein stores to wain and you can get protein, Vitamin and nutrient deficient. They recommended Biotin along with plenty of protein and said many people keep their hair and lose relatively little which comes back after another couple months. My experience was nothing like that! I lost hair from the day I had surgery- seriously. I had long, nearly waist length, thick brown hair that I had trimmed the week before surgery. When I got up and started walking a few hours after surgery I noticed a couple strands on my sweater but nothing to worry about. When I got home and showered it felt like I was losing a bunch in the shower but I thought I was just over-sensitive about it. I was re-admitted to the hospital a week and half after surgery and was losing fistfulls by then. I showed my doctor who told me, again, it takes months to lose your protein stores so it probably wasn't anything to worry about, maybe just the shock of the surgery. By the time I left the hospital 2 weeks later my hair felt thinner and I would pull handfulls out of my brush every day to show the doctor and nurses but they were unimpressed. When I got home it was about a month post surgery and I was self conscious about the hair loss so I thought if I got it cut it would be less noticible and less distressing for me. I took it from mid to lower back up to my shoulders and got a cute curly bob. I asked the hair dresser repeatedly if you could see bald Patches but she said she didn't see anything. Looking back at the pic right after the haircut I can't believe how thick my hair was still! The cut did nothing for the hair loss, it came out in handfulls every time I ran my hand over it, I woke up and my bed would be covered, pillowcase and sheets, with strand after strand of hair. It got so upsetting that I changed the color of my sheets- didn't work. About 3 weeks ago it had gotten to the point that I only had some long straggly strands at my neck left and had big noticible bald patches at the very front and top of my head as well as the temples, big fist sized sections of what looked like to me like tiny little grey coconut hairs! My daughter helped me cut the longer strands and I went to a cheap haircut place where I thought I was going to ask them to just use the clippers and shave the rest off. The stylist was so nice and tried to save what she could even though I told her she didn't have to try. She was able to give me a cute pixie cut which I went home and bleached a light ash blonde. The lighter hair color was the best thing I could have done- there are some platinum highlights that make the bald patches alot less noticable and alleviated some of my self-consciousness. I figured I would wind up in a wig for a while at least but thankfully it didn't come to that for me. I've spoken to other people who have lost hair to have it come back in a year or two and still others who haven't lost any at all. I hope you get lucky like that!

Aww, so sorry about your wait! It is totally frustrating when you feel like you have everything lined up and are soooo ready just to have wait or worse- get denied. I first applied back in 2008, I called my carrier and asked all the right questions about BMI, proof of failed diets and whether co-morbidities had to be present. The rep I talked to for the insurance carrier told me (incorrectly) that the benefit was available at 100% with no requirements. I went to a sleep doc, did a psych eval, was poked and prodded, tested and re-tested and assured I was a perfect candidate. When we submitted to the insurance carrier they promptly denied it, I tried to appeal but was denied again. The next time was 09 and I went tthrough the same process, this time I was denied and found out the reason was I didn't have 5 consecutive years of documented weights and BMI from my PCP- literally the only requirement! Well what fat girl goes to the doctor every year to be weighed??? In 2011 I had all the documentation needed so I waited until the 2012 plan year started to apply and put enough into my flex spending account to pay the deductible and co-insurance. I had my "first" doctors appointment in February again and the paperwork was sent to my insurance carrier with the explanation that it would take 4 weeks to 3 months to get a response and then I would have to schedule all of my other doctors appointments and then try to get a date for surgery. Well 4 years of waiting was enough for me, I explained the situation to the office staff at the surgeons office who were unsympathetic and negative about whether I could speed the procees up but I didn't let that deter me! I called my carrier at the one week mark and was able to get the claim escalated for review and was told I would get an answer within 5 business days- great! but not good enough! I was anxious after doing years of research, trying WW 2 more times, buying tons of slimfast, atkins and off-brand diet bars and drinks. I wasn't losing weight but gaining it with every year that passed. I called back after 2 days and spoke to the supervisor of the person doing the escalated review and they gave me a verbal authorization for surgery! I called and spoke to the office staff who actually put me on the schedule without the paper confirmation- from first doc appointment to approval it was 2 weeks, a week later were my final appointments and I started the Protein diet, 9 days later I had surgery- start to finish 1 month, or 4 years, depends on how you look at it! I have UHC which many people told me was an easy carrier to get approved through, not my initial experiences. I think the only reason it moved fast for me the last time was because I told literally everyone my sob story of trying for 4 years to get it approved and they begrudgingly listened and actually were able to do something about it. I hope things work out for you and you get an answer quickly, but hey, if they don't call you, you keep calling until you talk to that one person who listens!

I am a big believer in homemade scrubs, they save a ton of money! I've used sea salt and olive oil, fill a jar 2/3 with course sea salt, the pink is nice but any kind works, then just pour in olive oil and add a drop or two of essential oil- really nice in the summer! I use plain old baking soda year-round as a scrub- full body and face- and it exfoliates really gently and makes your skin glow :-) It doesn't dry you out either and makes your lotion absorb really well! It's supposed to be the caffeine that tightens you up and helps with cellulite and the oil moisturizes so here is a coffee grounds scrub recipe- http://www.ehow.com/how_5103198_make-cellulite-cream-caffeine.html Just coffee, coffee grounds and sugar, sounds delicious!

I still feel that way and I am almost 6 months out! I have asked myself the same question- why did I do this to myself? and I can't stand when my daughter tries to be sympathetic because I often feel like it's all my own fault and I shouldn't get sympathy! Due to complications I'm not getting in my protein and just recently have been able to get in close to 48 oz of fluid a day. I'm also all out of protein stores and vitamin and nutrient deficient which makes it worse. If you feel like you're having trouble and feeling worse rather than better- don't be afraid to speak up and talk to your doctor! If you are having complications or just need some dietary advice it's better to get things checked out or fixed before you get ill. Maybe it's just a taste thing or you need a thiamine or niacin supplement, things like that are easy to correct and make a huge difference. Hope you're feeling better soon!

You didn't fail and shouldn't feel bad about what's happened, the procedure failed you and not the other way around. :-) I've had a rough experience with the sleeve, started out @ 347, was down to 331 the day of surgery and couldn't get under 314 for months. Even now I can't manage to break 300 and it's been almost 6 months since surgery. I didn't tell anyone I was having WLS except my daughter and a very few close friends- 2. Even so, I've been embarressed by the miserable failure I feel my surgery has been and wish nobody knew. Who wants to have weight loss surgery and still be fat?! lol Because of complications with the sleeve, it has been recommended to me to have gastric bypass as a second step or even duodenal switch. My head is still swimming and I haven't made a decision but I can tell you this much- if I decided to go through another procedure, I wouldn't tell anyone. When you feel like a failure the first time after all the hard work, positivity and high expectations, it can make you super wary to talk about it the second time. Good for you for making the right decision for you and taking control back of your weight loss journey!

Any cream with caffeine is supposed to diminish the visibility. I've heard homemade body scrubs using coffee grounds and coconut oil massaged into the skin can also help.

That is awesome! The constant blowing of mine was always too much and made me feel like I was a dog with my head out the car window and couldn't catch my breath!

I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea and told by the specialist to use CPAP if I slept on my back, otherwise no issues when sleeping side or tummy. That was 4 years ago and truthfully, I used the CPAP 4 times since then. It was cumbersome and made me sick because the pressure forced it into my stomach just like you described. I also would get panicky with the full face mask so I switched to just a nose one but really, it did the same thing to me. Based on the other posts it makes sense that maybe the pressure was too high. The anesthesia and pain meds will cause your heart rate and resperations to go down and if you're anywhere other than PACU they tend to panic about it- not that they shouldn't. Hopefully your heart rate and O2 sats have remained normal since you've been out of the hospital! Please advise if a drop in the pressure helps you out, maybe it will encourage me to get mine out and call the doc!

I wish that I was! Unfortunately, all of the problems, crap and complications are true. I knew what the potential problems were prior to surgery and took the risk because @ 347lbs I would have died from complications due to obesity otherwise- diabetes, heart disease etc. Although I was fat I was relatively healthy, not diagnosed with anything besides mild sleep apnea that didn't require treatment. I was afraid I was getting fatter and fatter and would wind up riding around on a scooter like the fat chick on Family Guy before succumbing to some type of disease. There is absolutely a silver lining- my daughter started school this fall- she's premed and planning to go to Columbia University for med school and a specialty in cardio-thoracic surgery. Prior to my surgery she was a nursing student, mostly just because I had been a nurse and not because she had the real desire. She is totally on fire for medicine now! If this was the only positive from my experience it would be worth it. When she made the decision to change her major she said "but can I really make a difference, I'm only one doctor and there are so many bad ones" I told her although she was only one, she would teach and impact thousands of docotors and nurses she would work with and someday a young girl like herself would come in with her mom as a patient and look to my daughter as inspiration to enter the medical field. I thank God every day for the gift of being her mom. Other silver linings? I can fit clothes that sat in my closet with tags on them, a really cute pair of size 22 jeans. When I lost most of my hair and my daughter begrudgingly took the scissors and helped me cut it while we both cried, I thought I would wind up shaving the rest like Joseph Gordan Levitt in 50/50. The upside was a really cute super short cut by a sweet girl at a $6 salon and a box of medium ash blonde haircolor that made it so I could look in the mirror without crying and go out in public without being embarressed. Advice for anyone else going bald- coloring your hair a color that is closer to your skin tone really will camoflage the bald patches! I'm not a debbie-downer, I don't want to discourage anyone. I have appreciated all of the comments made, getting my feelings and story out and being listened to has been the greatest thing for me! I'm less depressed and more hopeful which is really the best upswing.

God bless insurance out of pocket maximums. I know many of you are self pay and I think about all the years I was without any health insurance and I know I could never have been as strong or dedicated as you and save the money to pay for any of this on my own, it shames me to know how much has been spent on my surgery and post-op care already. My out of pocket was supposed to be around $12-1500.00 for food and miscellaneous fees and tests that weren't covered. So far I've cleared my flex spending account of $3500.00 and pulled another grand from my 401k just to cover the meds and all the food and supplements i've tried. A complication with my last PICC line left me with several vericose veins in my upper arm and clusters of blood clots, i'm on Coumadin/Warfarin but not therapeutic still so I go daily to the lab for them to draw a blue top tube which holds around 10-20ccs of my blood, not even an ounce but more than my body can give them. Each day I slink into the lab, sweatshirt on, infant heel warmers strapped to my arms to keep them warm and the blood flowing for the next attempted blood draw. I look like a freak, an addict, a victim, my left arm is still swollen from the blood clots and you can see black and deep blue veins gnarled along it from my elbow to my shoulder. My left arm is a kaleidiscope, a rainbow of colrs from yellow to green, purple, brown, red. Bumps on my forearm indicate perforated veins and subque blood collecting and pooling. A couple sites look infected, raised and red, itchy and sore. I have scar tissue build up in my anti-cubital from 3 PICC lines and too many blown IVs to count. I've had blood taken from neck, shoulder, fingers, hands, groin, feet, IVs placed in such bizarre areas that each nurse kind of looks at me like "how long have you been an IV drug user?" and I chuckle to myself when I think about it. I've found a lab tech who knows me now, I don't have to tell her my story every day when I come in, she says "oh Jennifer, I see your name and I knew I should have passed it up for the next person!" and we laugh, only I just try to smile and make a kind of grunting noise and she feigns a smile and pretends to laugh like its a joke but we both know its not. The sweet spot is my wrist now, yesterday she blew the deep one on my forearm, its swollen and rock hard, venous phlebitis they call it- an infection or inflamation of your vein, I hate venous-phlebitis but I love to say it, try it....venous-phlebitis. So my wrist is still sore from yesterday but its warm from the precious little infant heel warmers, the blood is flowing temporarily to the right place, a surface vein that usually gives close to enough to fill the damn blue top tube, she sticks me with the butterfly and theres blood return but not for long, it clots off. She tries again at my thumb now and I want to hit her, she says she knows it hurts but shes a liar, if she knew she would never poke another person there on their thumb, she grazes the cartilage and the bone, I sit there but the whole time i'm thinking what she would do if I just opened my mouth and started screaming at the top of my lungs, there are other patients walking in and out, a half dozen lab techs, nurses, I could just scream, louder and louder, keep my face straight and just scream, then she would know how bad it hurts, they all would know, and none of them would do that again, no one would allow them to stick them on their thumb, its inhumane and just mean. My daughter brings me home, I slump back into bed, check my phone- its always on vibrate now, no one calls me but doctors and I don't want to talk to them. I have a voicemail from my doctors office- go up 2 more on Coumadin, great, thanks. There's another call from someone at Phillips but she talks fast leaves an 800 number and extension and I wait to call her back. I try to sleep but toss and turn and realize she called from Phillips! Phillips something about cardiology and home monitoring, Phillips who makes the home PT/INR tester that would save me the daily misery of lab trips, the pain of the blood draws and the dreaded venous-phlebitis. I bolt up and call her immediately. My tester is approved, it's around $2000 but insurance will buy me one! I have to buy the strips which are around $100 every 3 months but they're sending it to me, free! It's coming FedEx ground, If i'm lucky I can keep this site on my thumb going until Tuesday! Please share your DVT, Coumadin, PICC line or other complication stories with me. :-)

I always feel my nausea deep in my stomach followed by my mouth watering like crazy until I can get everything back up...it's an awful pre-cursor! I've thought the exact same thing, as my doctor tells me to get more and more protein in, first 60 then 80 now 120 grams a day (what a joke!) every time you vomit you lose that precious precious protein!

I was worried about that per-surgery but talked to my doc and didn't have to go through it. Good luck with drinking all that! One good thing- a friend lost 14lbs when she did it right before surgery. Keep your head up :-)

A PICC line is a peripherally inserted central catheter.....what it is basically is slightly thicker than a normal IV line that can have multiple ports, or openings, and can stay in a vein for weeks to months at a time. The PICC line is inserted through your arm most often by a vein surgeon using ultrasound. A wire and catheter are inserted into your vein through a small incision and it's guided through several feet until it's a short distance from your heart, usually centimeters. The PICC line is prone to infection and unfortunately can lead to blood clots like my case. In order to keep the line open you need to flush it several times daily or keep something pumping through it continuously like TPN. I used one of the ports to push medication along with saline and heparin which is a blood thinner to try to prevent the tiny end of the line from clotting off...obviously not enough for me. We also used an enzyme called Activase which is supposed to power through and dissolve those tiny clots or bits of tissue on or in the line. I was sad to find out Activase is not covered for Medicare patients due to prohibitive cost, apparently it's upwards of $800 for a single dose and multiple ports/lines require seperate doses. TPN is the abbreviation for Total Parenteral Nutrition. It is used as either your only food/nutrition or as a supplement if you aren't getting enough food or Protein in or have malabsorption/malnutrition. It is a creamy white liquid full of lipids, sugars, protein, Fluid and Vitamins and minerals. It comes in a big heavy duty IV bag and each of my bags weighed roughly 10lbs- they broke a shelf and a drawer in my refrigerator from the weight of storing them. The liquid sort of looks like a big bag of Ensure. Because you get the nutrition intravenously, it is already broken down and requires very little processing by your body, its just straight fuel. TPN was a Godsend for me but it also prevented the most substantial weight loss for the first couple of months.

What a wunderful new period in your life! My surgeons practice actually asks all female patients to use 2 types of birth control during the first 18-24 months post surgery. There are a number of reasons why, even with a sleeve, there is malnutrition that you suffer when losing the weight, the high amount of Protein is very hard on your kidneys and anemia is common as are vit B, A, D and Calcium deficiencies. hair loss is a big complaint due to the shock to the system and malnutrtion. When you become pregnant the fetus requires nutrition that you're body may not be able to provide without detriment to you or the baby. What leads to infertility for so many women is the excess estrogen stored in all the extra fat we carry, therefore, drop the fat and boom fertility increases! I can tell you about my closest friend who suffered from PCOS and was unable to get pregnant until she had Gastric Bypass. She had open surgery nearly 10 years ago and lost a good 50 lbs when she began actively trying to get pregnant (against medical advice). She was blessed with a healthy bohy and relatively few complications despite being 12 months out from surgery when she delivered! Since then she has had 2 other sons but has gained some weight back and recently lost a pregnancy. The surgery was a success for her and she was able to get pregnant right away, she would tell you she doesn't regret any of it! I'm so happy for you and your husband, I pray your surgery is also a success and that many babies are in your future! Please keep us posted on your journey! :-)

I may be in the minority but I think you were justified and correct to ask that of co-workers, friends or not. Post surgery I have been so sensitive to everything, smells, heat, cold...I don't even need to ask my daughter anymore she just closes my door when she cooks, or wears perfume, hairspray, you name it. The fact that you were in the workplace makes it more important that others be sensitive. I know it was just the idea of the smelly food and the deprivation but these concessions are made and allowed for by law every day in the workplace. Someone sensitive to strong smells or allergic to perfumes has every right to ask for and expect a workplace that is safe for them.....maybe the other end of the spectrum, but same idea in my opinion.

C-Diff or Clostridium Difficile is a bacterium that attacks your digestive system when you have a depressed immune system like with a surgery or hospital stay and often after IV antibiotic use and is rampant in nursing homes. What happens is it gets in and grows and then releases toxins into your gut and GI tract that eat up the mucous lining. Often the first sign is gut wrenching diarhea, not a little, but like you expect to see your intestines in the toilet when you're done. It is common for patients after WLS for multiple reasons and sux to have. Another fun illnesss that tends to go with it is oral thrush and candida on the skin. The yeast grows after the antibiotics mess up your system and it goes nuts, I've had it my mouth, on my incisions , vaginally and in my GI tract. Funny that what makes delicous bread can grow on/in you and drive you insane!