helgaready

So last week (week of Thanksgiving) was a crazy week because I went home to Arkansas to spend time with family...
 
First off it was super fun...My daugther is having my first glam-baby and I got a chance to see my glam-baby on the ultrasound. We also had the baby shower the Saturday following Thanksgiving and it was fab as well..Okay I could go on and on about that because I am so happy but that is for another blog..
 
Well it was the first time any of my family had seen me since surgery and only my mom and daughter knew I had surgery...For the most part everyone had good things to say...My aunt and cousin jokingly called me a "crackhead" or a "cancer patient" as they said I was so small...They aint seen small yet...I got more pounds to lose before hitting my goal...As many of us VSG folk probably was, I was nervous about how I would be around so much food...good southern homemade food....Not to mention all the eateries that are my "have" to go to list when I am home...Admittedly, I did eat more carbs and sweets overall than I have eaten on any day since surgery. However, it was in such small quantity that I did not beat myself up about it. Instead, I just was more conscious about my calorie burn. I do not recall if I mentioned previously but I renewed my subscription to the bodybugg again. I am amazed of how much more efficient my body has become on a reduced calorie diet and less weight. Before the surgery and without any exercise I would burn 2500 calories a day doing just normal activity. Now, I am at 2000 calories a day...While in Arkansas I made sure to hit 2500 mark so I could burn off the extra calories I took on by indulging in cake and dips. In the end I only lost 0.8lbs te week of Thanksgiving. It is actually more than I had on my projected weight loss chart. I said I would lose nothing so I count it as a victory.
 
Things have bounced back this week and I lost 2lbs. I am happy with that but I would like to get my weekly loss up to about 3lbs a week. I am going to get back on my workout regime as I fell all the way off these past 3 weeks. If I am to be running ( I mean running...now walking) a half marathon on June 1st, I need to be in the full swing of daily running like yesterday...
 
And for the not so good...I have had some awesome victories since having my sleeve...My best NSV when I was in Arkansas is I wore my daughter size Large Monkey Suit (Onesie). I have wanted one of those for about two years but could not find one big enough...Well now I can wear a Junior Large...I also bought a Junior Large pair of Yoga pants from Kohls during after Thanskgiving sale...Another big moment...I wish I would have taken a pic with them on because even I must say I think I looked "skinny"..a relative term indeed but it was a skinny moment for me...And the oh girl you are gorgeous...girl you fine comments are coming...oh how I love my sleeve...I guess the best part is not the comments themselves but I actually feel pretty again...
 
But oh back to the bad...My hair has started coming out in chunks...It is so thin...I am wearing hair make-up every day to color in my sides and I have to wear full and half wigs as my hair is so thin in the front. I have been wanting to cut it short anyway but I wanted to do that on my own time...Now entire otherwise healthy strings are hair is just all over the bathroom floor and sink with the slightest comb or brushing...I keep telling myself my doctor has said there are no bald weight loss patients...It will come back and I guess the good thing is when it comes back all the relaxer will be off and I can go naturally curly and short as I wanted to do anyways...
 
I have an Ormin body fat monitor and previous to surgery it said my body fat (bf) was very high about 40.8%..I notice a couple of weeks ago, it now simply says high and now I am 34% bf. That and with some inspiration from my sleeve buddy I decided my next big goal was to get to a healthy bf and bmi. For my height that is 164lbs for a healthy BMI...Hopefully, with the workouts the bf comes on down as well...In the meantime, my interim goal is to be 175lb by Christmas...Gotta put in work to make it happen.
 
I am posting some swim suit progress shots against my better judgement given this is the internet..but I want to give an honest reflection of me...Its hard to hide the flab in a two piece... Beware the photos are horrible but they are becoming less horrible as the months pass. Excuse the blur in the photo and that the distance the photos were taken were not exactly the same but I still think they reflect the 45lb weight loss...
 
Until next week all....
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 188.8
Week 14 Weight - 188.2
CW 186.2 [Total Weight Loss 43.2lbs]
GW 155 [31.2lbs until Goal]
 

Had a pretty busy two weeks and so got a lil behind in my blog. Took me off my good eating habits too so have to bring that back on track. All in all though has been a pretty good past two weeks weight loss wise...I have also set more goals for myself. I am starting a training schedule for a half marathon as I committed to run my first one on June 01, 2013. Having goals like this keep me on target. Not only does it keep me focused to work out but also keeps me eating right as I do not want to erode my hard work with bad food choices. I have run into a few folks on the forums that are steadfast believers that working out does not speed up weight loss and they may be right...However, I am not just going for skinny I am going for healthy and fit. Working out is part of my overall healthy lifestyle and it sure doesnt hurt to realize the toning payoffs I am getting from working out. I also know there will be a time where the weight loss settles out and I want to make sure that exercise is apart of my life so that the weight doesnt find itself back.
 
Now for the NSV's that I experienced over the last two weeks. The first one was an underhanded compliment...almost insult but crazy enough it made me feel so darn good...I posted a pic on FB and pretty soon I got a call from a relative. He first said that cannot be you in the pic...I of course said it was and he said you are so darn skinny...If I did not know any better I would swear you on crack because you lost so much weight so fast...Uh yeah..(he doesnt know about the surgery)...I laughed so hard..and got tingles because while I am not skinny I feel skinny as compared to where I was...2nd NSV was I was out on the town the other weekend and saw an old friend and he didn't speak. I am was wondering what was up...Well he finally came to me after a bit and said Helga I did not recognize you...You lost so much weight...You look damn good...Oh why thank you...And the third NSV was I had to buy new belts and bras I was on the last loop of all my belts before surgery. Now even the last loop on the belt is too loose so had to get another one. My bras are no longer considered plus size (40B pre surgery)...Now I am a 36B...I love the selection I have now...One thing I did notice though while trying on bras is that my boobs are a lil saggy...Might have to perk these lil T-shirt boobies back up...I dont want big boobs but I want what I have to be perky...
 
Finally, I have attached my 3 month progress photos. I have had an amazing and rewarding journey thus far. I am just 34lbs from my goal, though I am starting to rethink whether I want to move my goal to 165lbs vs 155lbs. I can currently wear some size 11 jeans and I am still nearly 190lbs. I always thought I would be comfortable at a size 9. In fact, I still think I would so I am going to see how things work out weight wise with me fitting into a comfortable size 9. Depending on the number, this might be my new goal weight.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 192.0
Week 11 Weight - 190.8
CW 188.8 [Total Weight Loss 43.2lbs ]
GW 155
 

Had a couple of victories this week and had a couple of slips too...
 
First the slips...I traveled for work this week for a couple of days and I used it as an excuse to eat terrible. I mean absolutely terrible. I ate cake, bread, cookie and drank wine even. Omg Ikr...And then I went and outdid myself and decided not to work out. Considering how bad I ate, I should have been running to that gym. Nope, I just peeped my head around the corner to see what equipment they had and left never to return to the gym over those couple days at the hotel.
 
Instead I went shopping and well, this is where the first of the victories came. I have wandered in Forever 21 stores for year admiring their clothes for both the trendiness and the price...but of course never been able to fit them...I would pretend I was shopping for someone else. Well this time around, I went in shopping for myself and I took 6 pieces into the fitting room and all but one of them fit. I only got 1 item (a size large dress) as it was the most distinctive and they other pieces I was more trying on for size to see if they fit as opposed to loving them...
 
That fueled me and I went to the next two stores lil girl cost conscious stores (Vanity and Rue 21). Bought me a size 11/12 jeans...did you hear me an 11/12...I was a solid size 18 (if not 20, I just wouldnt buy them) when I started this journey 2.5 months ago...And then there is this black dress that I bought in a size large as well...that I love love love. Okay did you get I loved it. I wore it out this weekend and I received so many compliments, I was overwhelmed. Now don't get me wrong, I thought I looked good before I left the house but I never expected to get such rave reviews. So fast forward today and I was going to the screening of a play a former co-worker directed so I threw on a sweater dress, leggings and shoe boots. I mean literally threw it on...showered, lotioned down and dressed in 20 minutes...Well, turns out the outfit really worked, at least I think so...See pic below.
 
And even bigger than a clothes size was the realization that I am finding myself, separate from what others think of me, mainly my ex boyfriend. A few weeks ago I blogged about my ex-boyfriend and his failure to acknowledge my weight loss...and how that bothered me because for so long I have wanted his affirmation. Anyways, he stopped over earlier in the week and as I was walking away from him, he said girl you losing weight...I can really tell...I was like you don't say. It only took 40lbs and 6 sizes. I continued on and said when I first started losing weight I wanted you to notice and you didnt...Well somewhere along the way I stopped caring because I know I am losing weight and looking damn good in the process...My feelings about me and how I look is no longer based on what he thinks of me but instead on what I know to be true of myself. I am loving the new me that this weight loss in revealing not only in how I look but just as importantly how much more emotionally healthy I am..
 
I am seeing the results of Pedro, the sleeve. I am so grateful this surgery was made possible. It has given me so much of my life back...
 
A lil behind in my blog entry so rather than logging my Friday's weight (192.8), I am logging today's weight.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 193.6
CW 192.0 [Total Weight Loss 40lbs ]
GW 155

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle.
 
My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate.
 
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 196.2
CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4]
GW 155

This past weekend was the weekend of the fashion show that I participated in and boy was it fun. I did two looks and I attached the photos below. I walked out on that runway and the confidence that I found on that runway was so liberating. I donned those clothes and a sense of confidence just came over me...And when I walked out on the runway, the screams and the ahhhs I got with the orange # only reinforce the that unexpected confidence. The fashion show started out about reinforcing the self esteem off young girls and teens...But in the end it did just as much for my self esteem even though I am far from a young girl or teen.
 
Other than that my week has been uneventful. One thing I did notice this week is how my cooking habits are so very different than pre-surgey yet I am enjoying the food all the same. No more fried foods and for the most part I do not miss it. I even tried to eat a chicken wrap (less the wrap and only the insides) from McDonald's as I was on the go one day and I could not even muster 3 bites down...I had my godkids over this weekend as they were also in the fashion show and they ate at McDonald's three times (I know bad auntie)....but it was a pretty good feeling to not be tempted to order myself anything other than that wrap that I did not eat...It tells me that mentally I am in the game and thanks to my sleeve no longer am I hoping for weight loss...I am making conscious decisions to achieve weight loss...
 
Since hitting 199, my next goal becomes 10lbs at a time...I am looking to move to the 180's...Today I am the smallest I have been in 10 years...On Saturday I am going to a Halloween party and am so stoked about it. I was hoping to be about 10lbs lighter but I am so darn happy where I am at and know I can still rock my costume well..spanx are still my friend...lol...Pics to come again next week. Until then and a few pounds lost...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 199
CW 196.2 [Total Weight Loss 35.8]
GW 155

Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts...
 
I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged...
 
I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol...
 
I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink...
 
But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 201.2
CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal]
GW 155

Had a pretty busy two weeks and so got a lil behind in my blog. Took me off my good eating habits too so have to bring that back on track. All in all though has been a pretty good past two weeks weight loss wise...I have also set more goals for myself. I am starting a training schedule for a half marathon as I committed to run my first one on June 01, 2013. Having goals like this keep me on target. Not only does it keep me focused to work out but also keeps me eating right as I do not want to erode my hard work with bad food choices. I have run into a few folks on the forums that are steadfast believers that working out does not speed up weight loss and they may be right...However, I am not just going for skinny I am going for healthy and fit. Working out is part of my overall healthy lifestyle and it sure doesnt hurt to realize the toning payoffs I am getting from working out. I also know there will be a time where the weight loss settles out and I want to make sure that exercise is apart of my life so that the weight doesnt find itself back.
 
Now for the NSV's that I experienced over the last two weeks. The first one was an underhanded compliment...almost insult but crazy enough it made me feel so darn good...I posted a pic on FB and pretty soon I got a call from a relative. He first said that cannot be you in the pic...I of course said it was and he said you are so darn skinny...If I did not know any better I would swear you on crack because you lost so much weight so fast...Uh yeah..(he doesnt know about the surgery)...I laughed so hard..and got tingles because while I am not skinny I feel skinny as compared to where I was...2nd NSV was I was out on the town the other weekend and saw an old friend and he didn't speak. I am was wondering what was up...Well he finally came to me after a bit and said Helga I did not recognize you...You lost so much weight...You look damn good...Oh why thank you...And the third NSV was I had to buy new belts and bras I was on the last loop of all my belts before surgery. Now even the last loop on the belt is too loose so had to get another one. My bras are no longer considered plus size (40B pre surgery)...Now I am a 36B...I love the selection I have now...One thing I did notice though while trying on bras is that my boobs are a lil saggy...Might have to perk these lil T-shirt boobies back up...I dont want big boobs but I want what I have to be perky...
 
Finally, I have attached my 3 month progress photos. I have had an amazing and rewarding journey thus far. I am just 34lbs from my goal, though I am starting to rethink whether I want to move my goal to 165lbs vs 155lbs. I can currently wear some size 11 jeans and I am still nearly 190lbs. I always thought I would be comfortable at a size 9. In fact, I still think I would so I am going to see how things work out weight wise with me fitting into a comfortable size 9. Depending on the number, this might be my new goal weight.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 192.0
Week 11 Weight - 190.8
CW 188.8 [Total Weight Loss 43.2lbs ]
GW 155
 

Had a couple of victories this week and had a couple of slips too...
 
First the slips...I traveled for work this week for a couple of days and I used it as an excuse to eat terrible. I mean absolutely terrible. I ate cake, bread, cookie and drank wine even. Omg Ikr...And then I went and outdid myself and decided not to work out. Considering how bad I ate, I should have been running to that gym. Nope, I just peeped my head around the corner to see what equipment they had and left never to return to the gym over those couple days at the hotel.
 
Instead I went shopping and well, this is where the first of the victories came. I have wandered in Forever 21 stores for year admiring their clothes for both the trendiness and the price...but of course never been able to fit them...I would pretend I was shopping for someone else. Well this time around, I went in shopping for myself and I took 6 pieces into the fitting room and all but one of them fit. I only got 1 item (a size large dress) as it was the most distinctive and they other pieces I was more trying on for size to see if they fit as opposed to loving them...
 
That fueled me and I went to the next two stores lil girl cost conscious stores (Vanity and Rue 21). Bought me a size 11/12 jeans...did you hear me an 11/12...I was a solid size 18 (if not 20, I just wouldnt buy them) when I started this journey 2.5 months ago...And then there is this black dress that I bought in a size large as well...that I love love love. Okay did you get I loved it. I wore it out this weekend and I received so many compliments, I was overwhelmed. Now don't get me wrong, I thought I looked good before I left the house but I never expected to get such rave reviews. So fast forward today and I was going to the screening of a play a former co-worker directed so I threw on a sweater dress, leggings and shoe boots. I mean literally threw it on...showered, lotioned down and dressed in 20 minutes...Well, turns out the outfit really worked, at least I think so...See pic below.
 
And even bigger than a clothes size was the realization that I am finding myself, separate from what others think of me, mainly my ex boyfriend. A few weeks ago I blogged about my ex-boyfriend and his failure to acknowledge my weight loss...and how that bothered me because for so long I have wanted his affirmation. Anyways, he stopped over earlier in the week and as I was walking away from him, he said girl you losing weight...I can really tell...I was like you don't say. It only took 40lbs and 6 sizes. I continued on and said when I first started losing weight I wanted you to notice and you didnt...Well somewhere along the way I stopped caring because I know I am losing weight and looking damn good in the process...My feelings about me and how I look is no longer based on what he thinks of me but instead on what I know to be true of myself. I am loving the new me that this weight loss in revealing not only in how I look but just as importantly how much more emotionally healthy I am..
 
I am seeing the results of Pedro, the sleeve. I am so grateful this surgery was made possible. It has given me so much of my life back...
 
A lil behind in my blog entry so rather than logging my Friday's weight (192.8), I am logging today's weight.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 193.6
CW 192.0 [Total Weight Loss 40lbs ]
GW 155

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle.
 
My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate.
 
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 196.2
CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4]
GW 155

This past weekend was the weekend of the fashion show that I participated in and boy was it fun. I did two looks and I attached the photos below. I walked out on that runway and the confidence that I found on that runway was so liberating. I donned those clothes and a sense of confidence just came over me...And when I walked out on the runway, the screams and the ahhhs I got with the orange # only reinforce the that unexpected confidence. The fashion show started out about reinforcing the self esteem off young girls and teens...But in the end it did just as much for my self esteem even though I am far from a young girl or teen.
 
Other than that my week has been uneventful. One thing I did notice this week is how my cooking habits are so very different than pre-surgey yet I am enjoying the food all the same. No more fried foods and for the most part I do not miss it. I even tried to eat a chicken wrap (less the wrap and only the insides) from McDonald's as I was on the go one day and I could not even muster 3 bites down...I had my godkids over this weekend as they were also in the fashion show and they ate at McDonald's three times (I know bad auntie)....but it was a pretty good feeling to not be tempted to order myself anything other than that wrap that I did not eat...It tells me that mentally I am in the game and thanks to my sleeve no longer am I hoping for weight loss...I am making conscious decisions to achieve weight loss...
 
Since hitting 199, my next goal becomes 10lbs at a time...I am looking to move to the 180's...Today I am the smallest I have been in 10 years...On Saturday I am going to a Halloween party and am so stoked about it. I was hoping to be about 10lbs lighter but I am so darn happy where I am at and know I can still rock my costume well..spanx are still my friend...lol...Pics to come again next week. Until then and a few pounds lost...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 199
CW 196.2 [Total Weight Loss 35.8]
GW 155

Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts...
 
I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged...
 
I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol...
 
I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink...
 
But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 201.2
CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal]
GW 155

These past few weeks have been tough as the all so sought after 199 has been so elusive..On 09/28/12 I weighted 203.4 and so was pretty confident I could hit 199 by the following week. My confidence was only heightened when on Wednesday, 10/03/12 I was 201.2..I just knew by the 10/05/12 I could shake off another 1.5lbs to finally join the 100 club...Well, I jump on the scale all excited and low and behold what pops up...199 even...Oh yeah oh yeah...So you know us scale obsessed folk, we have to double check, triple check, quadruple check...Well 199 never came back up...It kept reading 202...I was crushed...I told myself well you clearly are way close for 199 to even pop up because there was a time you were so far away from 199, the scale never gave a false read of 199..No doubt I am happy about my progess...31lbs and 21 inches and 4 sizes (and counting) all in 7 weeks..I just am panting for my first goal of 199..I will admit I was not as diligent about logging my food these past couple of weeks as I was previously so it is likely my carb intake got the best of me...So this is one thing I will commit to doing as it will be key to my success as well...
 
But no sense of whining about that...Instead, I am focusing on things I can change...and that is increasing my cardio and strength...So this past week I started Insanity, again...I did it about two months prior to surgery and while it is still hard now, it was so much harder then...30lbs make a difference...My stretches are better...My form is better and I have an even greater motivation knowing I am helping Pedro (my sleeve) do some of the heavy lifting...I am remixing Insanity a bit...Instead of doing it 6 days a week, I am doing it 5 days a week, skipping the recovery day and instead running on the day of recovery...Still getting my heart rate up and helping out my running game...I would love to do a half marathon in April or May of 2013...And speaking of running my running game has gotten so much better...When I first started exercising after surgery, it was taking me 60 minutes to walk 3 miles...Now I am doing 3 miles in 43 minutes...As I cut down on the 5 minutes of walking at the beginning and interchange 1.5 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking, it will only get better...Currently, I walk the 1st five minutes (3.5mph)...run a minute (5.5-6.0mph) and walk for minute and half (3.5)..My goal is to get it to 30 minutes...
 
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had increasing comments about how good I look...The folk that know about the surgery talk about how well I look losing the weight and that they can tell I am working out in the process as I am looking toned...A close friend of mine says you no longer look big...(oh the honesty) you just kinda blend in...Not big...not small..just about the size where no one notices your weight either way...Oh the honesty of a guy but I will still take it...lol...And a couple church friends talked about my saggy pants...Such a good feeling...I am slipping in pants I bought, two years ago and never could wear...Shirts I had given up on wearing because my belly fat/rolls showed too much...I havent worn my spanx (fool them to look thinner underarmour piece) but once (with a form fitting dress)in the past month...The muffin tops and the back fat is slowing fading away...It is such a good feeling.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 203.4 (Week 6)
CW 201.2
GW 155

Had a couple of victories this week and had a couple of slips too...
 
First the slips...I traveled for work this week for a couple of days and I used it as an excuse to eat terrible. I mean absolutely terrible. I ate cake, bread, cookie and drank wine even. Omg Ikr...And then I went and outdid myself and decided not to work out. Considering how bad I ate, I should have been running to that gym. Nope, I just peeped my head around the corner to see what equipment they had and left never to return to the gym over those couple days at the hotel.
 
Instead I went shopping and well, this is where the first of the victories came. I have wandered in Forever 21 stores for year admiring their clothes for both the trendiness and the price...but of course never been able to fit them...I would pretend I was shopping for someone else. Well this time around, I went in shopping for myself and I took 6 pieces into the fitting room and all but one of them fit. I only got 1 item (a size large dress) as it was the most distinctive and they other pieces I was more trying on for size to see if they fit as opposed to loving them...
 
That fueled me and I went to the next two stores lil girl cost conscious stores (Vanity and Rue 21). Bought me a size 11/12 jeans...did you hear me an 11/12...I was a solid size 18 (if not 20, I just wouldnt buy them) when I started this journey 2.5 months ago...And then there is this black dress that I bought in a size large as well...that I love love love. Okay did you get I loved it. I wore it out this weekend and I received so many compliments, I was overwhelmed. Now don't get me wrong, I thought I looked good before I left the house but I never expected to get such rave reviews. So fast forward today and I was going to the screening of a play a former co-worker directed so I threw on a sweater dress, leggings and shoe boots. I mean literally threw it on...showered, lotioned down and dressed in 20 minutes...Well, turns out the outfit really worked, at least I think so...See pic below.
 
And even bigger than a clothes size was the realization that I am finding myself, separate from what others think of me, mainly my ex boyfriend. A few weeks ago I blogged about my ex-boyfriend and his failure to acknowledge my weight loss...and how that bothered me because for so long I have wanted his affirmation. Anyways, he stopped over earlier in the week and as I was walking away from him, he said girl you losing weight...I can really tell...I was like you don't say. It only took 40lbs and 6 sizes. I continued on and said when I first started losing weight I wanted you to notice and you didnt...Well somewhere along the way I stopped caring because I know I am losing weight and looking damn good in the process...My feelings about me and how I look is no longer based on what he thinks of me but instead on what I know to be true of myself. I am loving the new me that this weight loss in revealing not only in how I look but just as importantly how much more emotionally healthy I am..
 
I am seeing the results of Pedro, the sleeve. I am so grateful this surgery was made possible. It has given me so much of my life back...
 
A lil behind in my blog entry so rather than logging my Friday's weight (192.8), I am logging today's weight.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 193.6
CW 192.0 [Total Weight Loss 40lbs ]
GW 155

Had a couple of victories this week and had a couple of slips too...
 
First the slips...I traveled for work this week for a couple of days and I used it as an excuse to eat terrible. I mean absolutely terrible. I ate cake, bread, cookie and drank wine even. Omg Ikr...And then I went and outdid myself and decided not to work out. Considering how bad I ate, I should have been running to that gym. Nope, I just peeped my head around the corner to see what equipment they had and left never to return to the gym over those couple days at the hotel.
 
Instead I went shopping and well, this is where the first of the victories came. I have wandered in Forever 21 stores for year admiring their clothes for both the trendiness and the price...but of course never been able to fit them...I would pretend I was shopping for someone else. Well this time around, I went in shopping for myself and I took 6 pieces into the fitting room and all but one of them fit. I only got 1 item (a size large dress) as it was the most distinctive and they other pieces I was more trying on for size to see if they fit as opposed to loving them...
 
That fueled me and I went to the next two stores lil girl cost conscious stores (Vanity and Rue 21). Bought me a size 11/12 jeans...did you hear me an 11/12...I was a solid size 18 (if not 20, I just wouldnt buy them) when I started this journey 2.5 months ago...And then there is this black dress that I bought in a size large as well...that I love love love. Okay did you get I loved it. I wore it out this weekend and I received so many compliments, I was overwhelmed. Now don't get me wrong, I thought I looked good before I left the house but I never expected to get such rave reviews. So fast forward today and I was going to the screening of a play a former co-worker directed so I threw on a sweater dress, leggings and shoe boots. I mean literally threw it on...showered, lotioned down and dressed in 20 minutes...Well, turns out the outfit really worked, at least I think so...See pic below.
 
And even bigger than a clothes size was the realization that I am finding myself, separate from what others think of me, mainly my ex boyfriend. A few weeks ago I blogged about my ex-boyfriend and his failure to acknowledge my weight loss...and how that bothered me because for so long I have wanted his affirmation. Anyways, he stopped over earlier in the week and as I was walking away from him, he said girl you losing weight...I can really tell...I was like you don't say. It only took 40lbs and 6 sizes. I continued on and said when I first started losing weight I wanted you to notice and you didnt...Well somewhere along the way I stopped caring because I know I am losing weight and looking damn good in the process...My feelings about me and how I look is no longer based on what he thinks of me but instead on what I know to be true of myself. I am loving the new me that this weight loss in revealing not only in how I look but just as importantly how much more emotionally healthy I am..
 
I am seeing the results of Pedro, the sleeve. I am so grateful this surgery was made possible. It has given me so much of my life back...
 
A lil behind in my blog entry so rather than logging my Friday's weight (192.8), I am logging today's weight.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 193.6
CW 192.0 [Total Weight Loss 40lbs ]
GW 155

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle.
 
My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate.
 
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 196.2
CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4]
GW 155

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle.
 
My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate.
 
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 196.2
CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4]
GW 155

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle.
 
My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate.
 
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 196.2
CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4]
GW 155

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle.
 
My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate.
 
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 196.2
CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4]
GW 155

Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts...
 
I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged...
 
I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol...
 
I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink...
 
But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 201.2
CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal]
GW 155

Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts...
 
I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged...
 
I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol...
 
I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink...
 
But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 201.2
CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal]
GW 155

These past few weeks have been tough as the all so sought after 199 has been so elusive..On 09/28/12 I weighted 203.4 and so was pretty confident I could hit 199 by the following week. My confidence was only heightened when on Wednesday, 10/03/12 I was 201.2..I just knew by the 10/05/12 I could shake off another 1.5lbs to finally join the 100 club...Well, I jump on the scale all excited and low and behold what pops up...199 even...Oh yeah oh yeah...So you know us scale obsessed folk, we have to double check, triple check, quadruple check...Well 199 never came back up...It kept reading 202...I was crushed...I told myself well you clearly are way close for 199 to even pop up because there was a time you were so far away from 199, the scale never gave a false read of 199..No doubt I am happy about my progess...31lbs and 21 inches and 4 sizes (and counting) all in 7 weeks..I just am panting for my first goal of 199..I will admit I was not as diligent about logging my food these past couple of weeks as I was previously so it is likely my carb intake got the best of me...So this is one thing I will commit to doing as it will be key to my success as well...
 
But no sense of whining about that...Instead, I am focusing on things I can change...and that is increasing my cardio and strength...So this past week I started Insanity, again...I did it about two months prior to surgery and while it is still hard now, it was so much harder then...30lbs make a difference...My stretches are better...My form is better and I have an even greater motivation knowing I am helping Pedro (my sleeve) do some of the heavy lifting...I am remixing Insanity a bit...Instead of doing it 6 days a week, I am doing it 5 days a week, skipping the recovery day and instead running on the day of recovery...Still getting my heart rate up and helping out my running game...I would love to do a half marathon in April or May of 2013...And speaking of running my running game has gotten so much better...When I first started exercising after surgery, it was taking me 60 minutes to walk 3 miles...Now I am doing 3 miles in 43 minutes...As I cut down on the 5 minutes of walking at the beginning and interchange 1.5 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking, it will only get better...Currently, I walk the 1st five minutes (3.5mph)...run a minute (5.5-6.0mph) and walk for minute and half (3.5)..My goal is to get it to 30 minutes...
 
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had increasing comments about how good I look...The folk that know about the surgery talk about how well I look losing the weight and that they can tell I am working out in the process as I am looking toned...A close friend of mine says you no longer look big...(oh the honesty) you just kinda blend in...Not big...not small..just about the size where no one notices your weight either way...Oh the honesty of a guy but I will still take it...lol...And a couple church friends talked about my saggy pants...Such a good feeling...I am slipping in pants I bought, two years ago and never could wear...Shirts I had given up on wearing because my belly fat/rolls showed too much...I havent worn my spanx (fool them to look thinner underarmour piece) but once (with a form fitting dress)in the past month...The muffin tops and the back fat is slowing fading away...It is such a good feeling.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 203.4 (Week 6)
CW 201.2
GW 155

Hard to be just a lil over 5 weeks ago, I was riddled with nerves wondering if I was making the right decision to have surgrey. Today, I know having the VSG was the best decision I could have made for my long-term health. It has re-engergized my motivation to work out and already so much of my confidence is being restored...
 
Last week, I blogged about how I was bothered and now I guess I realized I am hurt that my ex-boyfriend had not acknowledged my weight loss. Well I talked to him about it and how that makes me feel. I am not sure what I expected to get out of it because I as reflect on the conversation, I am not sure he ever said he has noticed I lost weight. In fact, I do not realize much of the conversation, only that I walked away from it unsatisfied with his response. But life goes on...
 
On the positive side, though my ex is not noticing so many other folk are noticing my weight loss and it is really a good feeling. I met up with friends over the weekend and none of them knew about the surgery and so I was worried about addressing the weight loss and not drinking. Well the not drinking never came up because I kept a cranberry juice in my hand and they only had good things to say about my weight loss...No questions as to what I was doing but just that I looked good...I also have began to see the weight loss in myself. When I was smaller, I always thought I had a long, giraffe neck so I hated my neck. Well I notice that giraffe neck coming back and I have never been happier to see it... And I am also noticing it in my midsection...It doesnt stick out under my boob like it used to...Shirts and dresses fix so much better...Yayy...
 
Oan: Despite the warning against tomato based things because of acid issues, I thought I would give chili a try. Bad move. Other than the protein shakes that i grew tired of, it is really the only food that I have reacted bad too. Other foods have made me feel bad but more because I ate to fast and not because of the food itself. So for now, I am not doing tomato based because I already have enough issues with heartburn. I am pretty much able to eat most things. I went to our farmer's market this past weekend and ate fried noodles...It was just about a cup but still I know I was so out of line. It made me work out harder. I got mile 3 mile walk/run jog done in 43 minutes. I started out at 60 minutes...
 
I am so happy that my stall/weight gain from last week did not carry on into this week. Last week I picked up two pounds by the time of weigh in. I actually picked up three pounds by Saturday evening. But today I am happy to report I got those pounds I gained off and then some...
 
VSG 08/17/12
HW 232 SW 227 (5'8)
Last Week 210.4
CW 205.4 ...
 
It may be ambitious but I am going for 199.8 by Friday's weigh in. I am already down to 204 today so I gt 4.2lbs to make it happen. I am going to push the workouts and stick to high protein/low carb for the week. I want Wonderland...I want Wonderland...and with it so close it makes me go even harder for it.

I am a lil behind on posting as I was not to encouraged as this week I gained weight. I have read plenty posts about the dreaded 3 week stall or weight gain but I was convinced I would beat it...Not...
 
But all in all it has been a good week. I started eating soft foods and it was a welcome addition. Eggs with cheese was my first meal. I have made some othe recipes from Emily Bites andTheworldaccordingtoeggface. Most of them have turned out pretty good...I even managed to eat some shrimp and handled it okay considering I did not like shrimp pre-surgery...However at 21g of protein and only 1.5g fat and 4g carbs, it will become a frequent visitor on my menu. Still eating about 2-3 ounces of food before I get full and still adjusting to making sure I chew my food well to avoid that stuck feeling in my chest. My body still has not figured out how to resume regular bowel movements. I could probably lose a few pounds justing taking a good ole dump...lol TMI I know...My heartburn has also become more frequent over the past couple of weeks so I am resolving to taking priolsec or something of that nature with my daily vitamins. I started but stopped but realizing at least for now this is not possible.
 
This week I hung out with my cousin who had lapband surgery in Jan 2012. She has had minimal success with it. I was so amazed at how much she could eat compared to the amount I was able to eat. Now mind you she had 7 months on me but I still thought our eating habits would be the same. I took a high protein, low carb potluck dish over it went over well but all the things she made were so high in carbs or fatty. She also tend to graze which all the reading I have done said this is a way you "eat around" your band or sleeve. I also notice that her pantry was riddled with things I would be afraid to bring in the house because all willpower would be gone...I do not say all this to judge but i do so it to say that even with the surgery we have to still exercise healthy eating habits. The surgery is only a tool and if we do not use the tool properly it is unable to perform as intended. I was careful not to judge her because I did not want to come off as a surgery eating expert after just 4 weeks of diet compliance. It was just an eye opener to be cognizant to not let my old eating habits that led to me being overweight erode the sleeve.
 
On to the good news...I started out my journey a size 18..Well, this week I got into a size 13/14 jeans I had bought about two years ago...A phenomenal feeling that was...so despite having gained two pounds this week, I looked over it as I twirled around in the mirror 4 sizes smaller than I was a month ago...And so many folk are noticing the weight loss and that too is a really good feeling. Something that nags at me is that thought no less than 20 people have told me I lost weight, my ex-boyfriend has not acknowledged my weight loss...I know he is an ex and I should not care...Obviously there was something that put him in the ex category and it wasnt good so I should let go. Easier said then done but that is another story.
 
I also measured today (09/16/12) and was pleasantly surprised at those numbers as well. I first measured on 08/23 so just under a full month
Neck -1 in Thigh -3/4 in Hi Wasit (just below breast) -2 in Natural Waist 2 in Belly Button (Abs) -3 3/4 in Chest 1 1/2 in Hips 2 1/4 in Biceps 1 in Shoulder -2.5 in.....Total Inches Lost 16.75.. :D
 
VSG 08/17/12
HW 232 08/13/12
SW 227
CW 210.4

Wow...where do I start....
 
I up my workout game this week. Moved from 2.5 miles to 3 miles of walking this week. I am really loving this sleeve knowing that the fruits of my workout will reflect in my body transformation. I walked into my office yesterday and one of the ladies said I looked stunning. It did wonders for my inner self. In fact, a number of people are commenting on my weight loss. I went to a BBQ on Labor Day (dat was torture) and I girl I had not seen in a few months, told me I had lost weight and looked good...Made me feel all giddy..especially since I am still about 50lbs shy of my final goal...I can only imagine what that will look like. But back to the BBQ...There was so much food and drink...I think I missed the alcohol more than I did the food. BBQ is almost a synonym for drinking and all could have was my light pink lemonade...The compliments made it better though...lol...
 
This week also represents the week, I put on a two pair of shorts I could not wear pre-surgery and a pair of jeans...One pair of shorts was actually loose...I have this lil dress that I wore in the day that I absolutely loved. I am not sure if I would wear it again as an outfit as it is dated but I kept it because I wanted to get back into it...The day that happens....I think I am going to hit the floor....(but I also plan on taking pics to mark that day).
 
I told my mom about the surgery this week. I had not told her before because when I tried feeling her out about it, she had so much negative stuff to say so I left her out of one of the most important decisions of my life. I felt bad and underhanded but I needed to mentally prepare for this surgery and so could not deal with her opinions. She still had some stuff to say about it but now that it is done, I do not receive her comments as hard.
 
This Sunday I am able to start soft foods. I am so happy...These last two weeks I have really begun to miss food. I have planned about 30 first meals...lol..My body is over the protein shakes so I need some natural protein. My stomach is upset with the protein shakes. As I begin to eat, I am hoping I can once again tolerate them as they offer a good influx of protein if you are struggling to get it in.
 
I am still not having regular bowel movements without assistance of a stool softner. Driving me crazy as I went everyday so to be only able to go once a week with assistance gets me so out of sorts.
 
But with all that said...where I am today...I think I am beginning to see some changes..I measure next Friday so I am excited to see what those numbers reveal.
 
VSG 08/17/12
HT 5'8
HW 232 (08/13/12)
SW 227
CW 208.8 (-23.6lbs)
 
I will take it...I had a goal (one of many) to be 205 by 09/17. I am on target to make it happen...(Sleeve don't fail me now..lol)

Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts...
 
I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged...
 
I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol...
 
I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink...
 
But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 201.2
CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal]
GW 155