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Sassafras

Gastric Sleeve Patients
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  1. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from MarceMonster in Slow loser? Worried about being a slow loser? Why being a slow loser is pretty awesome   
    (This was my response to a low bmi soon to be sleever worried that she would be a slow loser. I got to thinking about it and realized its pretty common so I thought I would post as a topic for others who worry about it.)
    Don't let the idea of being a "slow loser" worry you. I worried about this a lot before surgery and I compared myself to others alot for the first few months after surgery, but it really doesn't matter at all. I'm about to tell you why.
    I am 5'2 and started with my bmi just barely under 40. I think it was 39.6 or something. I hit 5 months out a few days ago and have lost 55lbs. That may not be as big of a number as some the sleevers that start out at 300 or 400 lbs and drop 55lbs in 2 months, but I am averaging 2.7 lbs lost a week and while its not the fastest I don't think thats too bad. I also have no excess skin yet (fingers crossed). I am now in the overweight bmi category when just 5 short months ago I was a hair away from the morbidly obese category. And I have to admit I have not started to exercise at all yet (bad me I know but I am starting soon).
    Some people lose slower and some faster but I promise it will all FEEL fast. It feels fast when I've gone from a size 18 jean and an XL shirt to a size 11 jrs jean and honestly (could probably wear a 9 now but haven't been shopping in weeks) and a M shirt. It will feel fast when you are clearing your closet out and everything hangs on you like a sack. It will feel fast when your smallest sizes from yo yo dieting get too big and you realize you have nothing to wear. It will feel fast when you realize you aren't starting fires between your thighs when you walk. It will feel fast when you buy a bunch of Victorias Secret cheekie panties and your tush looks amazing. It will feel fast when you climb a couple flight of stairs and you aren't the slightest bit winded. It will feel fast when you don't mind seeing someone you haven't seen in a while because you aren't ashamed of your weight anymore.
    I may be technically considered a "slow loser" by some standards but the sleeve has allowed me to lose slowly but surely through a week long cruise, the fair, a 10 wk pregnancy and miscarriage, Thanksgiving, a vacation to Florida, 2 weeks of Christmas and New Years with my house loaded with company and fatty food. Any one of those things would've knocked me off any diet. Before the sleeve and I would've gained back all the weight I lost +10.
    So being a "slow loser" is pretty awesome if you ask me. And probably if we went by percentage of weight lost I bet most of us sleevers would be in the same loss range. Its just going by lbs that throws everything off. I love this sleeve!
  2. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from MarceMonster in Slow loser? Worried about being a slow loser? Why being a slow loser is pretty awesome   
    (This was my response to a low bmi soon to be sleever worried that she would be a slow loser. I got to thinking about it and realized its pretty common so I thought I would post as a topic for others who worry about it.)
    Don't let the idea of being a "slow loser" worry you. I worried about this a lot before surgery and I compared myself to others alot for the first few months after surgery, but it really doesn't matter at all. I'm about to tell you why.
    I am 5'2 and started with my bmi just barely under 40. I think it was 39.6 or something. I hit 5 months out a few days ago and have lost 55lbs. That may not be as big of a number as some the sleevers that start out at 300 or 400 lbs and drop 55lbs in 2 months, but I am averaging 2.7 lbs lost a week and while its not the fastest I don't think thats too bad. I also have no excess skin yet (fingers crossed). I am now in the overweight bmi category when just 5 short months ago I was a hair away from the morbidly obese category. And I have to admit I have not started to exercise at all yet (bad me I know but I am starting soon).
    Some people lose slower and some faster but I promise it will all FEEL fast. It feels fast when I've gone from a size 18 jean and an XL shirt to a size 11 jrs jean and honestly (could probably wear a 9 now but haven't been shopping in weeks) and a M shirt. It will feel fast when you are clearing your closet out and everything hangs on you like a sack. It will feel fast when your smallest sizes from yo yo dieting get too big and you realize you have nothing to wear. It will feel fast when you realize you aren't starting fires between your thighs when you walk. It will feel fast when you buy a bunch of Victorias Secret cheekie panties and your tush looks amazing. It will feel fast when you climb a couple flight of stairs and you aren't the slightest bit winded. It will feel fast when you don't mind seeing someone you haven't seen in a while because you aren't ashamed of your weight anymore.
    I may be technically considered a "slow loser" by some standards but the sleeve has allowed me to lose slowly but surely through a week long cruise, the fair, a 10 wk pregnancy and miscarriage, Thanksgiving, a vacation to Florida, 2 weeks of Christmas and New Years with my house loaded with company and fatty food. Any one of those things would've knocked me off any diet. Before the sleeve and I would've gained back all the weight I lost +10.
    So being a "slow loser" is pretty awesome if you ask me. And probably if we went by percentage of weight lost I bet most of us sleevers would be in the same loss range. Its just going by lbs that throws everything off. I love this sleeve!
  3. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from MarceMonster in Slow loser? Worried about being a slow loser? Why being a slow loser is pretty awesome   
    (This was my response to a low bmi soon to be sleever worried that she would be a slow loser. I got to thinking about it and realized its pretty common so I thought I would post as a topic for others who worry about it.)
    Don't let the idea of being a "slow loser" worry you. I worried about this a lot before surgery and I compared myself to others alot for the first few months after surgery, but it really doesn't matter at all. I'm about to tell you why.
    I am 5'2 and started with my bmi just barely under 40. I think it was 39.6 or something. I hit 5 months out a few days ago and have lost 55lbs. That may not be as big of a number as some the sleevers that start out at 300 or 400 lbs and drop 55lbs in 2 months, but I am averaging 2.7 lbs lost a week and while its not the fastest I don't think thats too bad. I also have no excess skin yet (fingers crossed). I am now in the overweight bmi category when just 5 short months ago I was a hair away from the morbidly obese category. And I have to admit I have not started to exercise at all yet (bad me I know but I am starting soon).
    Some people lose slower and some faster but I promise it will all FEEL fast. It feels fast when I've gone from a size 18 jean and an XL shirt to a size 11 jrs jean and honestly (could probably wear a 9 now but haven't been shopping in weeks) and a M shirt. It will feel fast when you are clearing your closet out and everything hangs on you like a sack. It will feel fast when your smallest sizes from yo yo dieting get too big and you realize you have nothing to wear. It will feel fast when you realize you aren't starting fires between your thighs when you walk. It will feel fast when you buy a bunch of Victorias Secret cheekie panties and your tush looks amazing. It will feel fast when you climb a couple flight of stairs and you aren't the slightest bit winded. It will feel fast when you don't mind seeing someone you haven't seen in a while because you aren't ashamed of your weight anymore.
    I may be technically considered a "slow loser" by some standards but the sleeve has allowed me to lose slowly but surely through a week long cruise, the fair, a 10 wk pregnancy and miscarriage, Thanksgiving, a vacation to Florida, 2 weeks of Christmas and New Years with my house loaded with company and fatty food. Any one of those things would've knocked me off any diet. Before the sleeve and I would've gained back all the weight I lost +10.
    So being a "slow loser" is pretty awesome if you ask me. And probably if we went by percentage of weight lost I bet most of us sleevers would be in the same loss range. Its just going by lbs that throws everything off. I love this sleeve!
  4. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Oh wow! Our stats are so similar! Good luck with your revision and Im sure your results will be fantastic!
  5. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    I did not use anything on my scars. I rarely put anything on my skin, not even lotion, so these scars are au natural
  6. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Thank you! You are giving me too much credit. I don't think it counts as courage when I'm anonymous on here ha ha...maybe if I showed my face lol
  7. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Thank you so much!! You guys are really making me look at my body in a different light! I guess after what all I put my body through I should appreciate the about the good things about it and less focused on the not so good parts!! Seriously, your comments are making my YEAR!!
  8. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Ha ha Thanks and not weird at all...I can totally appreciate the female form too!!
  9. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    While its not in the best shape its still there lol Before I gained the weight and while I was heavy it was more bubbley, if that makes sense. Its kind of fallen to the bottom and lost some top fullness, which I am sad about. I think I would consider the butt plastic surgery where they put the fullness back it, but we'll see where I end up after the last 15-25 lbs Thank goodness for Shapewear lol
  10. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    You are waaaay too kind, but thank you so very much!! While I am self concious and pick myself apart without my clothes on, I just have to remember that overall it isn't too bad and I need to be grateful for that.
  11. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from BeagleLover in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    I'm glad it helped! It makes the embarrassment worth it ha ha Its great that you have age on your side. I am sure you will bounce back beautifully.
    My cup size has actually gone up since surgery. I was a 40D before surgery and I just recently got measured and was a 36DDD. I guess I have lost weight in the circumference of my band area faster than I have lost boob. My boobs have deflated some and hang a tad lower but my hubby is still very happy and he's a boob guy so they must not be too bad YET lol I still have 15- 25lbs to go though so who knows how they'll end up.
  12. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from loseitsoon in Put my weight loss on the back burner and the burner was OFF...18 months out and 20 lb regain   
    I have not logged in since August and I have let life get in the way of my goals. I'm SO disappointed in myself. I really thought I had my diet mastered. Six months ago I was an expert at keeping my calories under 900, Protein 90-100g ( with no protein drinks/bars), carbs under 50g, logging daily and getting in my Water in. Now I'm year and a half out and I have regained 20 lbs.
    WHAT HAPPENED?
    The best I can tell is it all started when we went into escrow on a house. My focus switched from weight loss, diet, and exercise to loan paperwork, credit reports, and problem solving. We ended up losing that first escrow due to an inaccurate tax lien that couldn't be fixed in time to save the escrow. Then I became obsessed with resolving the issue and finding another house. Inventory was low so you had to be ready to pounce right away...hence the obsession. Meanwhile on the weight loss front I had stopped logging and watching what I ate. I told myself I was resetting my metabolism so that I could start back on a more normal calorie intake.
    We finally had all our ducks in a row to make for an easy breezy loan process and went into escrow on a house we love the end of November. The house was almost finished being built and they said they needed a 45 day escrow. We said they could have as long as they needed we just needed 30 days to give our rental notice. Long story short, it is taking forever and we are now 108 days into a 45 day escrow. This would be no biggie if we hadn't given notice and had to be out of our rental house Jan 28th.
    For the last 6 weeks, my husband and I (and our 3 dogs...EEK) have been staying with our friends. It was supposed to be for 2 weeks, so our stress levels are in freak out mode and we're still 2-3 weeks from closing. In an effort to impose as little as possible (being that we are the never ending houseguests), I just try to stay invisible. The problem with invisibility is that we have been eating out instead of using their kitchen, keeping lots of unrefrigerated Snacks (aka processed carb filled snacks) in our room, and not exercising at all. Its fine for my husband because he works but I am here in this room all day every day. That has lead to the pounds packing on mostly in the last 6 weeks.
    I have decided I cannot let the scale keep going up. I need to do damage control now before it gets even worse over the next 3 weeks. I cannot fully get back on track until we are in our house but for the time being I need to stop the gain. I started logging again this morning. I have put a kabash on the mindless snacking. And I am making better choices foodwise even when we have to eat out.
    I am so scared that since I am 18 months out it will be hard to re-lose the weight. Has anyone been able to lose their regain easily?
    Does anyone have any other ideas that I can do while staying in this tiny room (without using the kitchen)? I was thinking about the 5:2 fasting. Any ideas, support, words of
    wisdom, relatable experiences, or words of encouragement is greatly appreciated!
    (Please excuse any typos...typing long posts on a tablet is not my forte)
  13. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from loseitsoon in Put my weight loss on the back burner and the burner was OFF...18 months out and 20 lb regain   
    I have not logged in since August and I have let life get in the way of my goals. I'm SO disappointed in myself. I really thought I had my diet mastered. Six months ago I was an expert at keeping my calories under 900, Protein 90-100g ( with no protein drinks/bars), carbs under 50g, logging daily and getting in my Water in. Now I'm year and a half out and I have regained 20 lbs.
    WHAT HAPPENED?
    The best I can tell is it all started when we went into escrow on a house. My focus switched from weight loss, diet, and exercise to loan paperwork, credit reports, and problem solving. We ended up losing that first escrow due to an inaccurate tax lien that couldn't be fixed in time to save the escrow. Then I became obsessed with resolving the issue and finding another house. Inventory was low so you had to be ready to pounce right away...hence the obsession. Meanwhile on the weight loss front I had stopped logging and watching what I ate. I told myself I was resetting my metabolism so that I could start back on a more normal calorie intake.
    We finally had all our ducks in a row to make for an easy breezy loan process and went into escrow on a house we love the end of November. The house was almost finished being built and they said they needed a 45 day escrow. We said they could have as long as they needed we just needed 30 days to give our rental notice. Long story short, it is taking forever and we are now 108 days into a 45 day escrow. This would be no biggie if we hadn't given notice and had to be out of our rental house Jan 28th.
    For the last 6 weeks, my husband and I (and our 3 dogs...EEK) have been staying with our friends. It was supposed to be for 2 weeks, so our stress levels are in freak out mode and we're still 2-3 weeks from closing. In an effort to impose as little as possible (being that we are the never ending houseguests), I just try to stay invisible. The problem with invisibility is that we have been eating out instead of using their kitchen, keeping lots of unrefrigerated Snacks (aka processed carb filled snacks) in our room, and not exercising at all. Its fine for my husband because he works but I am here in this room all day every day. That has lead to the pounds packing on mostly in the last 6 weeks.
    I have decided I cannot let the scale keep going up. I need to do damage control now before it gets even worse over the next 3 weeks. I cannot fully get back on track until we are in our house but for the time being I need to stop the gain. I started logging again this morning. I have put a kabash on the mindless snacking. And I am making better choices foodwise even when we have to eat out.
    I am so scared that since I am 18 months out it will be hard to re-lose the weight. Has anyone been able to lose their regain easily?
    Does anyone have any other ideas that I can do while staying in this tiny room (without using the kitchen)? I was thinking about the 5:2 fasting. Any ideas, support, words of
    wisdom, relatable experiences, or words of encouragement is greatly appreciated!
    (Please excuse any typos...typing long posts on a tablet is not my forte)
  14. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from loseitsoon in Put my weight loss on the back burner and the burner was OFF...18 months out and 20 lb regain   
    I have not logged in since August and I have let life get in the way of my goals. I'm SO disappointed in myself. I really thought I had my diet mastered. Six months ago I was an expert at keeping my calories under 900, Protein 90-100g ( with no protein drinks/bars), carbs under 50g, logging daily and getting in my Water in. Now I'm year and a half out and I have regained 20 lbs.
    WHAT HAPPENED?
    The best I can tell is it all started when we went into escrow on a house. My focus switched from weight loss, diet, and exercise to loan paperwork, credit reports, and problem solving. We ended up losing that first escrow due to an inaccurate tax lien that couldn't be fixed in time to save the escrow. Then I became obsessed with resolving the issue and finding another house. Inventory was low so you had to be ready to pounce right away...hence the obsession. Meanwhile on the weight loss front I had stopped logging and watching what I ate. I told myself I was resetting my metabolism so that I could start back on a more normal calorie intake.
    We finally had all our ducks in a row to make for an easy breezy loan process and went into escrow on a house we love the end of November. The house was almost finished being built and they said they needed a 45 day escrow. We said they could have as long as they needed we just needed 30 days to give our rental notice. Long story short, it is taking forever and we are now 108 days into a 45 day escrow. This would be no biggie if we hadn't given notice and had to be out of our rental house Jan 28th.
    For the last 6 weeks, my husband and I (and our 3 dogs...EEK) have been staying with our friends. It was supposed to be for 2 weeks, so our stress levels are in freak out mode and we're still 2-3 weeks from closing. In an effort to impose as little as possible (being that we are the never ending houseguests), I just try to stay invisible. The problem with invisibility is that we have been eating out instead of using their kitchen, keeping lots of unrefrigerated Snacks (aka processed carb filled snacks) in our room, and not exercising at all. Its fine for my husband because he works but I am here in this room all day every day. That has lead to the pounds packing on mostly in the last 6 weeks.
    I have decided I cannot let the scale keep going up. I need to do damage control now before it gets even worse over the next 3 weeks. I cannot fully get back on track until we are in our house but for the time being I need to stop the gain. I started logging again this morning. I have put a kabash on the mindless snacking. And I am making better choices foodwise even when we have to eat out.
    I am so scared that since I am 18 months out it will be hard to re-lose the weight. Has anyone been able to lose their regain easily?
    Does anyone have any other ideas that I can do while staying in this tiny room (without using the kitchen)? I was thinking about the 5:2 fasting. Any ideas, support, words of
    wisdom, relatable experiences, or words of encouragement is greatly appreciated!
    (Please excuse any typos...typing long posts on a tablet is not my forte)
  15. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from summerjjjj in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Hello! When I started out I tried to research what my body and scars might end up looking like after surgery and there wasn't much out there. I promised myself I would post pics for other people researching these things...no matter how embarrassing lol I took pics from all angles (front, side, back) to give a full account. These pics are in no way flattering but... hey, I look pretty good with clothes on, so I'd take all this over being my former obese self any day lol
    Heres my stats for reference: 5'2", 34 yrs old,current weight 152, starting weight 217, starting BMI 39, 8 months out from surgery, surgeon Dr Kelly, 5 scars total. I still have about 20-25 lbs to lose. My loose skin is the worst on my tummy and thighs. I had to take my bra off to show my 5th scar (but I tried to cover up the girls the best I could), so there are bra marks under my breasts and around my torso. Those are not scars. I know those familiar with the surgery would know that, but those just starting out might not.





  16. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from summerjjjj in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Hello! When I started out I tried to research what my body and scars might end up looking like after surgery and there wasn't much out there. I promised myself I would post pics for other people researching these things...no matter how embarrassing lol I took pics from all angles (front, side, back) to give a full account. These pics are in no way flattering but... hey, I look pretty good with clothes on, so I'd take all this over being my former obese self any day lol
    Heres my stats for reference: 5'2", 34 yrs old,current weight 152, starting weight 217, starting BMI 39, 8 months out from surgery, surgeon Dr Kelly, 5 scars total. I still have about 20-25 lbs to lose. My loose skin is the worst on my tummy and thighs. I had to take my bra off to show my 5th scar (but I tried to cover up the girls the best I could), so there are bra marks under my breasts and around my torso. Those are not scars. I know those familiar with the surgery would know that, but those just starting out might not.





  17. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from summerjjjj in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Hello! When I started out I tried to research what my body and scars might end up looking like after surgery and there wasn't much out there. I promised myself I would post pics for other people researching these things...no matter how embarrassing lol I took pics from all angles (front, side, back) to give a full account. These pics are in no way flattering but... hey, I look pretty good with clothes on, so I'd take all this over being my former obese self any day lol
    Heres my stats for reference: 5'2", 34 yrs old,current weight 152, starting weight 217, starting BMI 39, 8 months out from surgery, surgeon Dr Kelly, 5 scars total. I still have about 20-25 lbs to lose. My loose skin is the worst on my tummy and thighs. I had to take my bra off to show my 5th scar (but I tried to cover up the girls the best I could), so there are bra marks under my breasts and around my torso. Those are not scars. I know those familiar with the surgery would know that, but those just starting out might not.





  18. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from Sleeved in Seattle in August Sleevers..what Is The Progress   
    Hi fellow August sleevers!
    1. Sleeved 8/17 I am eating a huge variety of foods so I can’t give a “typical” day but I can eat 4 ounces at a time of pureed (or almost pureed) foods. Some of the things I have been eating are: Roast beef hash with a little mashed potatoes and gravy, cream of wheat with honey, egg salad, tuna salad, lobster cakes (like crab cakes but with lobster), Greek yogurt, SF pudding, Slim Fast low carb Protein shakes, broccoli cheese Soup, oatmeal, canned pureed white meat chicken breast (that I thought would be gross but was pretty good), a frozen refried bean dip (I am not a huge fan of Beans but this was delicious with a little TB mild sauce on it). I have tried the Baked Ricotta recipe (and added a few pieces of pepperoni) off of “The World According to Eggface/pureed food page” and tonight I plan on trying the Cheesy Cauliflower Casserole from her website.

    I was having trouble getting my liquids in. I was a person who has never drank enough Water to begin with but I wanted to be better after surgery. I felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day to get all the fluids in without being able to drink 30 mins before, during, or after a meal until I did a schedule for my eating and liquids and I haven’t had trouble since! Here’s my schedule:

    Food: 8:30 bfast
    11:30 snack
    2:30 lunch
    5:30 snack
    8:30 dinner (I know that is late but that’s when my hubby gets home so it works for me)
    Glad disposable 4oz bowls with the little lids are lifesavers but I just reuse them

    Fluids: 9:30-11:00- 13 oz
    11:00-12:30- No drink zone
    12:30-2:00- 13 oz
    2:00-3:30- No drink zone
    3:30- 5:00- 13 oz
    5:00- 6:30- No drink zone
    6:30-8:00- 13 oz
    8:00- 9:30- No drink zone
    9:30- 11:00 13 oz
    I just put 13 or 14 oz of Water in my bottle add ½ a pack of lemon iced tea flavored crystal light and a slice of lemon and I know that’s exactly how much I have to drink in an hour and a half.)

    I haven’t been keeping track of my Protein very well and I plan to start doing that this week. I hope I can figure out a system that makes it easy like the Fluid schedule did for me. My problem is that I hate normal Protein Shakes the only one I can drink is the Slim Fast low carb creamy chocolate. I heard on You Tube about a stick of ostrich Jerky that has 14g of protein and tastes like a slim jim, so maybe that would work… I am just not a person who has a sweet tooth and all the protein powders are yucky to me, but I have been making myself add some unflavored powder to things I’m cooking (too bad unflavored doesn’t mean no taste). Any other protein ideas? I am hoping it will be a little easier once I am off of pureed food.

    Oh man this is really long…oops! I don’t know if I should answer the other 2 questions. I try to keep them short and sweet

    2. Energy level = okay (not great not bad)
    Activity level= low to med (I’m studying for a registry exam right now so other than a little walking and housekeeping its mostly studying.)
    Pain Level= little to none (If I use my ab muscles to do something I shouldn’t they will let me know they are still healing. Incisions look great no pain just little scabs.)
    Nausea= None (Haven’t had any since the hospital)

    3. 16 lbs- including 4 day pre op diet
    12lbs -since surgery (3 weeks out today) Although one day my scale tricked me and said I had lost 14 lbs
    Stalls are no fun!
  19. Like
    Sassafras reacted to clk in How many vets are actually AT goal and staying there?   
    First, thank you to everyone that posted not only where they are but their personal struggles as well. It's a big deal to know that I am not alone here...I knew that, of course, but it's nice to really see it's true. So many things that were written really resonated with me and it was good to see the approaches you guys take.
    I suppose that right now I'm realizing that I am a horrible hypocrite. Yes, indeed, I am. I must be. I have posted multiple times over the past year about being happy with accomplishments we've made and not worrying about a number on the scale. And here I am, making myself insane in my own head because of a number on the scale. A number that, quite frankly, does very little to even impact how I look. I might not like my snug pants, but they're still a 5/6 and I'm still in a small. I have reassured my friends like coops over and over again that they're successes and here I am beating myself up like I'm a failure.
    Quite frankly, I'm being ridiculous.
    Not about wanting to keep on top of things and certainly not about wanting to perfect a way to slide back into loss when I need to. Certainly those are valuable things to learn because maintenance is the long haul and who knows what will happen as I get older and naturally tend to hang on to weight? (Even more than I already do, blech!)
    I am definitely dealing with some hormonal/emotional wackiness postpartum and where we live does not help. I need abundant sunshine to feel good - days on end of overcast gloominess really affect my mood. I also have a great deal of stress, partly just because of life and this feeling that we're hemorrhaging money lately but also because I try so hard to shape my future and stay on top of things and we have a lot going on. Additionally, crazy as it sounds but a book of poetry I recently read just crawled in my brain and reawakened so many old emotional feelings and really made me reflect on who I am and why. I've been worrying it in my brain for weeks now and I keep trying to find these things I can just "fix" so I'll be back to how I was feeling a few months ago. And let us not forget what sleep deprivation does to a body and mind! I keep wanting to Google things like, "When will this baby ever sleep? !" but I know that it will be at least another month or so before I'm able to get more rest. With all this, weight seems like it should be an easy target, but it's just not.
    Am I in a better emotional place than I was three years ago? Most assuredly. But it's kind of sad and puts a control freak like me on edge to realize that it's not all gone - that I still have some issues that need attention or work, or that might never go away.
    A big hallelujah for the fact that I am still fortunate enough to not be battling non-stop hunger or food obsession.
    But let's just say that when you're not paying attention, a real desire to eat does not have to be there to overindulge or mindlessly snack. I've gone totally off the rails the last few days, eating the sloppiest I have eaten at all since my surgery and after going back and logging all my calories to the best of my memory, I was disheartened to see that I'm eating 1,800 calories a day or more, mostly in junk slider foods. Foods that do not taste good to me, do not satisfy me and even make me sick. I've been having digestive issues all week and no wonder! You know, it's sad...really sad, because I am NOT EVEN HUNGRY. I am not eating for stress. I am eating JUST BECAUSE. Just because it's there and I can. I realized last week that I was a bit peckish for a sweet in the evening and we had nothing to suit what I was looking for (okay, junk, I admit it) in the entire house. So the next time I shopped I bought a bunch of junk! And you know what that stuff does even when you're not triggering cravings? It makes you feel like crap, I swear. Not just physically but mentally. I'm up one pound on the scale, too, and I'm lucky it's just one.
    Today, I am fasting. I feel good. Well, the sun is shining and I'm sure that helps. But that junk got packed up in a bag and sent to the office with my husband. Let his poor coworkers divide the stuff up, I don't want it in the house. I don't have to avoid those things forever, but right now is not the time to surround myself with it, either.
    I've gotten more than one email about doing the 5:2 thing and I might try it. I don't know. At first I was convinced that no way would I even consider another diet. But after reading about it, it's actually pretty close to how I ate in maintenance, when I easily maintained. I'd weigh daily and restrict when I needed, but mostly I ate what I wanted, within reason.
    I'm not sure if it would help me lose again, and honestly, I'm not sure if I just need to take a step back and stop thinking about my weight entirely. I'm sure some counseling would help because I feel like I've been on a roller coaster since a few months before I had the baby. It's unfortunate that it's just not a real option for me - having a counselor write in paperwork that I need regular counseling can red flag my husband's career, and never mind that it's not supposed to happen that way. It does, trust me.
    So what am I learning?
    Wherever I go, there I am. I do not get to escape myself and who I am, or my particular issues, just by changing my location or my body shape or my weight. I am still the same person, happier, yes, less weighed with baggage, yes, but still susceptible to depression or anxiety like I was before. It does no good to beat myself up over this, either, it just adds another stress I don't need.
    Maintenance is hard, and it is forever. I don't care how fast people get to goal. I don't care how they do it. The fact is that it is hard to stay there, forever, if you do not pay attention and keep yourself accountable. If I had avoided VST, gone off to my hermit hole and kept binging on junk for a few more weeks or months, I could easily find myself up twenty pounds and even more frustrated. We say this to newbies all the time, but it's true. I don't care how long you've tried to build good, new habits. The old ones are ingrained, comfortable and immediately gratifying. I can eat wonderfully for ten months straight, but give me a few days with the old foods and tack on some emotional struggles or some boredom and I'll slide right back into the habit of grabbing a snack here and a dessert there. Maintenance is the real battle and it makes things like the three week stall pale in comparison.
    It is ridiculous to pursue perfection. There is nothing wrong with pursuing a goal. And there is everything right about wanting to be a better person today than I was yesterday, to continually improve myself. But I have a problem with telling myself that I'll be happier, or feel more accomplished, or whatever, once I achieve "X" goal. That's B.S. Because I always have another goal or another reason to beat myself up waiting. I beat myself up for being fat. I was going to be totally happy when I got to 160 pounds and could wear a size 12 again. Then I exceeded that goal. Then it was the skin. I'll be happy once the skin is gone. No, I won't. Because then I'm going to beat myself up over my scars. Or over my lack of physical fitness. Or over the fact that I'm still not 100% over all of my emotional traumas. I'll always find a reason to defeat myself in my pursuit of perfection. The fact is, I need to learn how to love the skin I'm in and the person I am and I still struggle with this. If I tell myself, even whispering it in the most hidden part of my mind, that I'll love myself more when I reach a certain place, I am defeating myself. I am ensuring that I will never be totally happy and totally at peace.
    Anyway, I'm sorry for the long post. But if you haven't realized now that the way I work things out for myself is by writing them out, you haven't been paying attention!
    I appreciate all of the advice here. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. The first thing is to try and deal with some of what's bothering me, and I think that weight loss is secondary to that right now. I do want to get back on track, though, so I'm going to focus this week on eating properly again. Beyond that, the scale is going away. I can weigh once a week right now, and so long as I don't see an upward trend I will need to be happy with that.
    This is not a food issue or an exercise issue for me. This is entirely emotional, and everything I'm dealing with stems from that point. New methods to attack the weight loss are only going to help part of my issue, and it's the smallest part, I think.
    ~Cheri
  20. Like
    Sassafras reacted to Supersweetums in How many vets are actually AT goal and staying there?   
    Cheri, you have done so well, but I know how hard it is to really accept that and not obsess about the few pounds left. I was also a slow loser, it took me 18 months to reach my goal weight and then I actually dropped a couple pounds below my goal weight. Then, for close to a year, I was maintaining easily. I always watched what I ate (but did not track) and weighed myself daily. Then I made a switch in medications and that little switched caused me to gain 7 lbs in 3 weeks. I quite taking the medication and stopped gaining, but have been struggling to get those pounds off now. I have been diligent watching my food choices and it is helping, but frustrating none the less. I was like you, happy where I was. I wasn't obsessing about my food. Don't get me wrong, I have always watched what I ate since getting the sleeve and made many changes to my lifestyle in order to lose and maintain. But I was ok with having a treat here and there, I was OK eating garlic bread at the restaurant and not feeling guilty. Now I am back to the guilt, feeling bad about eating anything.
    And with my cycles I have huge weight fluctuations, so now I am hitting numbers that I haven't seen in a long time. Even though I know the numbers will go back down, just like they did 6 months ago, they stress me out just that little bit more.
    So I am trying to relax a little. When I lost the first time, I was relaxed about. I think because I never thought I would really reach goal, I didn't stress about as much. When I stopped losing a few pounds above goal, I just thought I was done losing and I was ok with that. Then, after a few months, I started losing again. Now that I have been there, I want to be back there. Plus, I have the same fear that I will regain all the weight that I lost. I know that stress is terrible for weight loss, so I am trying my best to just take a deep breath. I am watching everything I eat. And now that the weather is warmer, I am more active than through the winter. I am trying to just roll with the punches.
    You are not alone in your feelings, I am right there with you! It is hard to get back in the mode of "dieting" when you felt that you were done with that. The thing that differs now though is that you are aware of it. You have not gained 20, 40 or 100 lbs back. You are up 8 pounds. Back in the day, we would have scoffed at that! You will get there again!
  21. Like
    Sassafras reacted to NtvTxn in How many vets are actually AT goal and staying there?   
    Hi Cheri - first of all, congrats on the new addition to your family. Second, congratulations on the weight loss. I reached goal quickly, five months to reach my doctor's goal and a month later to reach MY personal goal, five pounds less. 145 give me that 5 pound pad! I THINK more like Lynda though. MY goal is 145, but I don't wait until I hit 150 to cut back a little, if I weigh 147 in the morning, I know I need to 'adjust' my calories, just for a day or two. I've been maintaining for 2.5 years now and although like you, it's been easy for me......I'm like Lynda, I am vigilant. The fear of regaining keeps me a "little" obsessive. I weigh every morning, and I know that I should weigh between 144 and 146. I also weigh again at night, it's kind of a game I play, then I guess what I will weigh in the morning! I do not let the scale dictate my mood though, it's more like a "dashboard" for me, it lets me know if things are 'running' right, kind of like the dashboard in my truck!! lol At night, I will weigh between 146.5 and 148. I am not a exercise guru, but I have made 'life style' changes that are second nature to me now. Like I said, I weigh every morning. I weigh or measure my food when I'm home. I log it all on line. (MFP) This is not what I just do, it isn't a chore, it isn't a choice. It just is.....it's how I stay in check. I am accountable to ME and after 30 years of dieting, I know how quickly eight or ten pounds can sneak up on us. Losing weight has never been a problem for me, keeping it off has been. Not this time and now I'm equipped with the knowledge of what works for me, I really can't imagine this 'routine' wouldn't work for everyone. I am missing 85% of my tummy, self control is much easier now, at least it is in my case. I don't feel like I have sacrificed anything. I make choices. I do not skip extra cups of coffee, there are line to draw Cheri!!! About two months ago, since fear of weight gain seems to never leave us, and I personally think that is a good thing.....I just wanted to 'test' and see if I could still lose weight if need be. I need 1300 to maintain, give or take 50 calories. I cut that back by 100 calories and in 2.5 weeks, with just one hundred less calories, I lost 2 pounds. I was happy, I know I can do it. I don't get hungry, so cutting back and/or resisting when I should or when I want to....is not difficult. You and I are lucky. I don't do what Lynda does, but I am soooooo glad to see how SHE is. I thought I might be the only one who is a bit on the obsessive side, I love it!!!! I do not have everything planned down to how much Protein, veggies etc per meal. I track and plan ahead, but not quite like that. I get in between 65 and 100 grams of protein a day. During the losing phase, I had NO bread, but now, if I want my tuna fish on a piece of bread, nothing but cokes are off limits, although there are thngs I choose to avoid most times. When I did my "test" a while back, I did make sure I was getting at least 85 grams of protein a day, I know that helped. You will do fine, don't stress out, just be diligent with tracking your food, that is something I personally believe we have to do forever, track and weigh/measure. The things I do, are MY keys to success. I don't ever want to forget what it was like to shop for size 20's in the ladies dept. Been there, done that and I don't want an encore!!! It keeps me humble, and keeps me motivated. Good luck, I predict you are going to do just fine!!
  22. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from melissa73 in Doc changed our hospital b/c other hospital equipment is "broken and sub-par"   
    Hi all,
    My husband is having surgery tomorrow and it was suppossed to be at Mi Doctor. We requested Mi Doctor specicifially because I had such a great experience there last August. They just changed us last minute over to florence because they said that the laproscopic equipment at Mi Doctor is sub-par and not working properly. Since I always sing the praises of Mi Doctor, I thought it was only fair to share this news too, so people can do their homework. I know there were quite a few people trying to decide between the 2 hospitals so I thought this might factor into any decisions. We are sad about switching because I really loved the care I got at Mi Doctor, but happy that my husband will be safe. But on the brightside, Dr. Kelly was really awesome about the switch and did not charge us the $500 extra to be at florence.
    Anyone else's docs switch hospitals lately for this reason?
  23. Like
    Sassafras reacted to LouiseC in XXX rated super serious question!   
    Sorry for your distress but this cracked me up. At least you know the discomfort will pass.
    I haven't had any issues swallowing since surgery. It must be a volume thing though! I won't mention it to my husband, he may feel unmanly for not ejaculating cup fulls!
  24. Like
    Sassafras got a reaction from summerjjjj in Pics- scars, skin, and stretch marks...OH MY!   
    Hello! When I started out I tried to research what my body and scars might end up looking like after surgery and there wasn't much out there. I promised myself I would post pics for other people researching these things...no matter how embarrassing lol I took pics from all angles (front, side, back) to give a full account. These pics are in no way flattering but... hey, I look pretty good with clothes on, so I'd take all this over being my former obese self any day lol
    Heres my stats for reference: 5'2", 34 yrs old,current weight 152, starting weight 217, starting BMI 39, 8 months out from surgery, surgeon Dr Kelly, 5 scars total. I still have about 20-25 lbs to lose. My loose skin is the worst on my tummy and thighs. I had to take my bra off to show my 5th scar (but I tried to cover up the girls the best I could), so there are bra marks under my breasts and around my torso. Those are not scars. I know those familiar with the surgery would know that, but those just starting out might not.





  25. Like
    Sassafras reacted to losingit2013 in Doc changed our hospital b/c other hospital equipment is "broken and sub-par"   
    I'm having my surgery w/ Dr. Kelly on Monday. We are scheduled at NOVA now and frankly, I feel much better with moving. It has a trauma center, that's a step up as far as I'm concerned. Bottom line, I chose my doctor. I trust him... If you don't have that comfort level in the doc, you should not book your appt.
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