cwtbt

Hi Guys Just stopping by to see how everyone is doing. I am still fighting the fight. I just can't tell you all how ashamed I am that I have done this to myself again. I think I weigh more now then I did when banded in 2007. I do plan on getting another fill and then I think I might join weight watchers. It sounds like all of you are doing well and I should check in on a regular basis to get my mojo back. I just really need to do something different....because what I am doing now is not working. Talk to you soon. Bethany

Michelle Sending prayers to your sister and her children. Does she live close to you?

Good evening Kat, you are so right about the depression and to tell you all the truth I really bring all of this crap on myself. I know that I am a fat girl but then who brings the dang twinkies into the house.......me! I have a question for you very intelligent ladies. I had a fill under fluoro 2 weeks ago by a new provider as their fills with the fluoro is only $40 more than the blind fills I was getting from a doctor. The fluoro did show that I had great restriction and I had to beg to get the .2cc fill. I have a total of 1cc in a 4cc band. Had I not seen this for myself I would have thought these ladies were crazy. Now my problem is I feel I have nothing in my band, I can eat anything including bread without so much as a pause. I really feel I need more restriction even though according to the fluoro I don't. I would really like to know what you all would do in this case.....would you go to the doctor and ask for more fill (blind) or plead with the fluoro ladies to provide more fill. I feel that I have had this band long enough to know what my restriction level is and if I stay where I am at, I feel that I am not using this tool as it was intended. Again, I am sorry to come in here with all the doom and gloom. I really appreciate all your thoughts; it truly helps to know that I am not fighting this never ending battle alone. Kat-Your vacation sounds fun. We watch the show on the Discovery Channel (?) about the Buffalo Chip..I think that's the name. I also work with a lady who has a Harley that decided to one year trailer down to Sturgis alone......those were interesting stories. Suzie-Your niece is adorable. I remember my son's first day of school. I just can't believe the time that has gone by. She is a very lucky little girl to have a great auntie to share her memories with. Tracy-I swear we must be kindred spirits. You running into the hitch sounds like something I would do. This morning, I dropped my cell phone 3 times on the pavement just trying to get to work. Just keep the positive thinking going for your job endeavors.....something will work out. What is the status on the bypass? Michelle-Do you have regular contact with hubby when he is out on a fire? We have also had some big fires this season in WA. We actually had 3 state patrol personnel die in a house fire Sunday. The wife was able to make a 911 call but they think then instead of getting out of the house the husband and wife went to the basement (3 story house) to make sure that the 3rd officer (just graduated from the academy) who was temporarily staying with them got out. None of them made it. It is just sickening. Angela-You really need to post some pictures of your weekend home. It sounds wonderful. Have you had any recent encounters with your neighbor? Cindy-Do you teach Special Ed? I can't remember. My husband and I always say that the Special Ed teachers are the most down to earth, patient, caring people and truly are a breed of their own. Last school year, my son was a TA for his football coach who is the Special Ed instructor and he absolutely loved the experience. He even volunteered for the Special Olympics committee. He had a great time and really learned alot about himself during this experience. Okay, it's dinner time, I will be back later.

Hi Guys Sorry I have been MIA. I have just had the worst time with may band and have felt that if I didn't have anything positive to say then I should just stay away. I know that we all struggle with this journey but for some reason this has been extremely hard for me. I had a complete unfill in May, as I could not eat without PBing so during this time, I ate crap...ice cream etc. For the month or so that I had no fill, the fat girl that never left came back with a vengeance. All of the foods that I tried so hard to stay away from since banding like bread etc. suddenly became like a drug that I could not live without. So here I sit today, with 1cc that was put in with Fluo and it's like I have nothing. I watched the barium slowly travel down and hit the band and do what it's supposed to do but when I eat or drink the restriction I show on screen is not what I feel. The ARNP stated that she would not give me any more as I would be back within the next day as she felt I was already too tight. Of course, I was told again the kinds of foods I should stay away from etc. Hello.....I am an educated person, but not only that, if I could loose this weight with sheer will power then I would not have needed the band. So that's may story. I am less than 20 lbs. from where I had originally stared and am just sick with what I have done to myself again. Now that I have updated you all on my failure, I am so glad to hear that everyone is doing well. I have some things to get done here at the office but I will be back later to catch up with you all. Bethany

I agree with everyone Suzie, better safe.......I know it is hard to relax....is it possible to have your doctor speak to a cardiologist and review the eco together while you are waiting for an appointment so that you can rest your mind some? Stay strong, eat some ice cream and cuddle up with hubby and watch a good movie. Please get some rest and keep us updated when you can and know that you have a lot of love coming in from all of us. Alright, I have to help with homework. I will talk to you all tomorrow. B

Thinking of you today Suzie.. Tracy-Hang in there. Come here to vent if you need to, since most of us can usually sympathize. Hi Jen-I know I am a stranger but it is good to hear that your personal life is back on track. Hi Angela-Do you have anything good planned for the weekend? Ooh Kat-Get some rest. Hopefully you caught this in time to get the discomfort under control. It's amazing how fast the antibiotics can work. Okay, I better get to work. I have many fires to put out and ignoring them does not solve the problem. So I will talk to you all later. B

Happy B-Day Angela!! I was late going in today and I am already home. My hands just hurt. I see the ortho on Tuesday so maybe he can work his magic. I had surgery on the left hand in 2006 and the right in 2007 but because I am still doing the same work all of my symptoms are back. I think I am going to look into the voice activated software. I have many many years to work. Kat-That job sounds perfect. Gives you a little extra money without taking up a bunch of your time. Suzie-How did it go? I have been thinking of you all day. Tomorrow is the big day....I am glad you will finally be getting some deserved rest even if it is part of your recovery. You are not going to know what to do with yourself. Michelle-I agree with Kat, it sounds like the flu or something....I hope you feel better soon, there is nothing worse like being sick to your stomach and having to take care of little ones. I forgot to tell you all that last week I swear that my band had slipped. I had the worst chest pain, reflux and kept PBing everytime I ate.....except for 3 cupcakes that I managed Friday and then Sunday everything was back to normal. I hate this band sometimes...especially when this happens and I still have at least 60 lbs. to lose. Have any you considered revising to something else? I am seriously considering the sleeve. Talk to you all soon. Bethany

Hi Guys Long weekend here. We had to get my sons car fixed, clean the garage etc. I have troubles with my hands, De Quervain's Tenosynovitis, and they have hurt like hell since last Friday so I have been trying to take it easy. Much easier said then done when you need your hands for everything. Tracy, I soooo know where your coming from with the ex. Why do you think me and SO have not been married after almost 20 years? I love his daughter dearly but i have not put myself through college and worked at getting a great job to support the ex. Well now it's a non-issue as she is turning 20 this month but there is still back support that has to be paid for the early years when the ex was on welfare. I tell ya, I have had more drama from all of this then I even care to remember. So I know exactly were you are coming from. I do know that I once worked with a psychiatrist who married a man with a child and she had mentioned that they filed an innocent spouse something or other....as she made bank and was not about to provide any of her income to the ex. This is in WA but maybe there is something in Texas as well. Maybe worth looking into. Kat-I hope things go well today. I'll let you know if I see anything over CNN regarding NM's election;) Suzie-I agree with everyone else, you have got to let others jump in and take over so at least you have some time to take care of yourself. I know you have mentioned that she has children that refuse to help but you just need to tell them that in this case they really have no choice as you will be out of commission for a while. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this still on top of everything else. Sending you some positive thoughts from WA. Angela-At least the neighbor came by and finished the mowing. It was big of him to not let you do all the work. Did he leave the nest alone? Cindy-Your weekend sounds great minus the storm. Glad to hear your DD made it home safe. This is something I am so not looking forward to.......does being a parent ever get any easier? Michelle-That is really sad about the yarn shop. It just really makes me sick what this economy is doing to some of these small business owners. Okay, I am off to get some reports done. I have a huge training plan to write for one of my clients and I am coming upon issue after issue with it and it is due within a few weeks so I have to get busy on it. Talk to you all soon.

Hi Guys Let me start by apologizing to Suzie.......I really meant what I said in the most sincere way and am sorry if I hit a nerve. You really have to understand that what you have explained regarding your feelings towards your sisters is absolutely normal...we may even be a little worried about ya if you didn't complain. I truly admire people who do for others day in and day out with very little reward. I am by nature a selfish person. I was raised a spoiled brat..youngest and only girl in the family and my dad's side of family. I have a wonderful mom who sounds so much like you and while I don't tell her often enough how much I appreciate her I do admire her and those like her. But please remember that you have to be #1 especially right now until you get some answers regarding your health. My mom was in your exact position with her siblings regarding the care of their mom (my grandma) and she finally had to let everyone know that she could no longer carry the full load and they needed to take some of the responsibility and they did...and she has learned that if she doesn't speak up everyone else just assumes that she is fine with doing everything. She has also learned that as long as the overall outcome is reached it does not necessarily need to be done the way she would do it. Hang in there...I will be thinking about you and sending my positive vibes your way tomorrow. Ooh yeah and I so agree with you on the hang up without saying goodbye. I will call back with major "tude" and then hang up without saying anything...yeah I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but damn it feels good to show them what it feels like. Tracy-I soooo miss my son at that age..when moms are the most important person in their life. Just wait till she talks on the phone to her first boy, wears makeup, drives a vehicle......okay you see where I am going. I don't know what it is like to have a daughter but I can tell by your posts that she's a pretty special girl. Kat-That is awsome news about your MIL. Hopefully the Dr's can figure out what is going on and take care of it ASAP so that things can return to normal (or at least as close to) for you and Rick......it will make your upcoming vacation more enjoyable and relaxing. Angelia-I hope you feel better soon. I wonder if you have a touch of the flu? I tell ya.....I need to have the whole work up on me done...I pretty much feel like crap on a daily basis..just run down, no energy. Gosh could it be the crap I eat;)

I'm here! Sorry I have been gone...I have been super busy. We had a huge yard sale this weekend for the HS football team.....um yeah all I can say is I am glad I don't have to work with some of those parents on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong...I know that I can be difficult sometimes but shit some people seem to forget that we are all adults and should be respected as such. One mom was such as bossy bitch that I had to just stay away for the sake of her safety. Sorry for the language....my DH says that I can make a sailer blush... But you all get the point :biggrin: Tracy-Girl you need to have your hip checked....Do you ever see a chiropractor...I have had some luck with one but some people don't like them. Kat-My DH worked construction (out of town) before he was injured or should I say while he was injured. He would work 120 to 130 hours on a knee that needed surgery. Yes- the money was great but not at the cost of his health. I totally know what you are going through. He loved what he did but he is now paying for it. Suzanne-I sure wish I had your energy. You are such an unselfish person always caring for everyone else in your life. Someday it will be your turn. Michelle-Sorry to hear about Curves. Do you have a local hospital...sometimes they have part-time work positions with various hours since they usually operate 24 hours a day. Maybe they have something during the day in the giftshop, registration, etc. Might be worth looking into. Angela-Nice neighbor.....how about if I send over the bossy bitch from the yardsale to get him to clean up his own yard. It would serve him right. Okay, I have a ton of things to do before I leave the office for my physical therapy app. I will check in with you all tonight. Bethany

Good morning ladies It was raining here this morning on the way in to work but I love the rain...it gives me an excuse for a bad hair day. I don't know about you guys but I am having a hard time finding my mojo. I don't want to get up in the morning...go to work or do much of anything. I need to find some serious strength. Hope you all had a great weekend. My Monday already started off with a bang..I spilt my tea in my lap on the way to work......I wonder what the rest of the day as to bring. Okay, I gotta get to work, I will check in later.

Tracy-You can call me whatever you can remember. My name is Bethany...so you can call me that or CW or whatever....I have been called just about everything and will answer to most;) Thanks for the welcome Suzanne. You have totally rocked this band thing...I wish I could say the same. I was totally into it when I first got it and it seemed to be pretty effortless but then when I started with the fills and got one that was too tight and the reflux started it just seems that I was then on a downward spiral. I now wish I could convert to the sleeve and maybe someday I will. I was self pay so to now turn around and spend thousands of dollars on another surgery seems ridiculous.....especially since I have not been a model bandster. I will also keep you in my thoughts regarding your MRI...sometimes I wish the docs would not mention tests results until you were face to face with them because if your anything like me you will most certainly stress over this until you get answers. Also to me the internet is now a dangerous tool as I now research everything and diagnose everyone in my family. Okay, I have gone on long enough...my pug is resting is chin on my laptop trying to tell me to get moving so I will talk to you all later. BB

Thanks for the welcome guys! Kat-I am sorry to hear about your MIL...we went through the same thing with my grandpa and I think honestly the decisions they make concerning their health and treatment affect us more than it does them..at least with my grandpa it did. As far as the family drama and stalker.......I would give her something to really talk about :biggrin: Tracy-I really am not shy or silent...if you met me IRL you would seriously not be able to shut me up. heartfire-That sounds like me with the burrito but I would have just PB'd and went back to eating it thinking if I ate just a little slower it might go down.........now you know why I have gained most of my weight back.