Krystal

4/14/06 9:40pm Today I realized that yesterday, although i walked a lot I was slightly bad in my eating. I had a few bunny ears...(candy from easter) if you know what i mean. After posting my story on LBT I realized that it is so important to stay true to everyone and myself. I realized that if I don't take the extra step then i will not succeed. Today I ate better. One of the LBT girls called me and had words of inspiration....THANK YOU!!!! Feels good to know someone is here and is listening to me. Exercise: I walked this morning while my husband was working out on his new bowflex and I turned on the first season of Married with Children......I noticed it is alot easier to have something that keeps your mind off of the actual walking....AMEN... I walked 30 minutes and 1 FULL mile!!!! This morning. I decided this evening since i had sat around for most the day after this morning that I would walk some more....so i turned Married with children back on and started to it.....ended up walking 21 Minutes and .64 miles. A little over a mile and half today is a pretty big step. Im really proud of myself...and such little time it takes to do.....literally just takes a few minutes before you walk and the time you walk. I used to make excuses for going to my den to get on the treadmill. "Oh not today, I'll do it tomorrow" Somehow tomorrow never came. Now ive FORCED myself to do it 2 times a day....amazing. It's kind of weird how i get excited about posting my progress for all to see...maybe it's because I feel like I really need the attention....BUT DONT WE ALL DESERVE THAT LIL BIT OF ATTENTION? At my weight I am definately starved of attention. I do not get out much and when I do it's usually something quick. I have been embarrassed of my weight for over 3 years now. Thank God I have a husband that has stood by me through all of this. It really says something that he married me at my heaviest weight. Ok....im tired now...:notagree .....ready to get some sleep....my husband hid the scale on me because he knows the first thing i'll think about in the morning is if i had any weight change.... Im going to focus on the dress sizes I drop and not my weight...my goal dress size i would be totally content at would be a 16. Good night everyone! Happy exercising!!! Krystal

4/14/06 9:40pm Today I realized that yesterday, although i walked a lot I was slightly bad in my eating. I had a few bunny ears...(candy from easter) if you know what i mean. After posting my story on LBT I realized that it is so important to stay true to everyone and myself. I realized that if I don't take the extra step then i will not succeed. Today I ate better. One of the LBT girls called me and had words of inspiration....THANK YOU!!!! Feels good to know someone is here and is listening to me. Exercise: I walked this morning while my husband was working out on his new bowflex and I turned on the first season of Married with Children......I noticed it is alot easier to have something that keeps your mind off of the actual walking....AMEN... I walked 30 minutes and 1 FULL mile!!!! This morning. I decided this evening since i had sat around for most the day after this morning that I would walk some more....so i turned Married with children back on and started to it.....ended up walking 21 Minutes and .64 miles. A little over a mile and half today is a pretty big step. Im really proud of myself...and such little time it takes to do.....literally just takes a few minutes before you walk and the time you walk. I used to make excuses for going to my den to get on the treadmill. "Oh not today, I'll do it tomorrow" Somehow tomorrow never came. Now ive FORCED myself to do it 2 times a day....amazing. It's kind of weird how i get excited about posting my progress for all to see...maybe it's because I feel like I really need the attention....BUT DONT WE ALL DESERVE THAT LIL BIT OF ATTENTION? At my weight I am definately starved of attention. I do not get out much and when I do it's usually something quick. I have been embarrassed of my weight for over 3 years now. Thank God I have a husband that has stood by me through all of this. It really says something that he married me at my heaviest weight. Ok....im tired now...:notagree .....ready to get some sleep....my husband hid the scale on me because he knows the first thing i'll think about in the morning is if i had any weight change.... Im going to focus on the dress sizes I drop and not my weight...my goal dress size i would be totally content at would be a 16. Good night everyone! Happy exercising!!! Krystal

You All Dont Even Know How Much It Helps To Hear That People Are Reading My Story And Actually Care. Thank You I Love All Of You!!!! Great Support Comes From The Lbt'ers

:help: This is the email I sent all my friends and family the day I decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH I need support from my family around me. Dated 4/8/07 This is what it said: Tomorrow is the day I have decide to start the rest of my life. All of you know I am overweight...um DUH ALL OR MOST OF YOU KNOW I HAD WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY ALMOST 2 YRS AGO...AND I HAVE CHEATED MYSELF.....................................THIS IS EMBARRASSING......BUT I HAVE TOTALLY F'D UP(FOR LACK OF BETTER TERMS) FROM THIS POINT FORWARD I AM ASKING ALL OF YOU TO TAKE A STAND FOR MY ACTIONS....MEANING... DO NOT LET ME PUT ONE MORE ONCE OF FAST FOOD IN MY MOUTH IF YOU SEE ME EATING ANYTHING I SHOULDNT BE....MAKE IT LOUD AND OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE AROUND ME THAT MY BIG ASS SHOULD NOT BE EATING THAT... ASK ME IF I WORKED OUT TODAY.....(I HATE THIS QUESTION MORE THAN ANYTHING.....IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL GOOD TO BE ABLE TO TELL SOMEONE YES) IF I GET AN ATTITUDE WITH YOU....TELL ME TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR....... IM NOT KIDDING....I KNOW I HAVE GOTTON AWAY WITH CHOMPIN ON SOME MAJOR STEAK DINNERS IN FRONT OF ALL MY FRIENDS AND THEY HAVE KEPT QUIET.... DONT KEEP QUIET ANYMORE...PLEASE DONT I KNOW IT IS MY FAULT FOR WHERE I AM TODAY.....FOR ME TO FIX THIS I NEED SOME ENCOURAGEMENT... KYLE IS STANDING BEHIND ME 100% AND WILL ENFORCE THE HOUSE FOOD RULES... EVERYONE ELSE NEEDS TO BE ON MY ASS LIKE NEVER BEFORE.... THIS IS NOT A JOKE....MY RECENT EMOTIONAL EXAM OF MYSELF OVER THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS HAS MADE ME THINK AND I WANT SOOOOOOO MUCH MORE OUT OF LIFE. SERIOUSLY.....IF I SLIP AND TALK MYSELF INTO EATING SOMETHING THAT YOU KNOW IS A NONO... TAKE THAT SHIT OUT OF MY HANDS AND TOSS IT IN THE TRASH...I GIVE U PERMISSION... DO NOT ASK ME OUT TO DINNER... ASK ME TO WORK OUT I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND IF YOU LOVE ME BACK YOU WILL HELP ME THIS IS EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING AND I AM REALLY STEPPING OUT ON A LINE TO ASK THIS OF EVERYONE I KNOW....EVEN IF I DONT SEE YOU OFTEN.. THANKS KRYSTAL

I will SOOOOO post as often as possible...if not daily................ Thank you guys for caring....i really hit like a rock bottom low last week and I had quit my job too...so hopefully all that will change and i can use all my free time as an opportunity to work out. Im going to go walk again....2nd time today.....maybe only 20-25 minutes this time...but hey at least its something. THANK YOU CHECK MY JOURNAL DAILY IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MY PROGRESS....I HAVE ALSO POSTED PROGRESS SO FAR IN THERE. MUAH

I had always been big...all through school..always size 16+....senior year 2001 i was a good size 22....2003 i was a size 24 and by 2005 i was a size 32......I was always made fun of.....i gained almost 100 pounds in 3 years from being on the depo shot(birth control)so i got off of that...... and then getting pregnant. By 2005 I was at my worst. I walked into the Dr's office thinking I was only 360 back in April of 2005. When I got on the scale it read 380...I almost died. I cried in his office because I was so ashamed. Ashamed over 20lbs!!!! I had researched the band and felt because I had a daughter it would be the safest surgery for me. I am only 24 and was 22 at the time. I thought this was going to be the FIX.....the thing to change my life. I thought that there was no way anyone or anything could stop me from losing weight after I had surgery. I went through all the tests....and got all the required medical paperwork and convinced some family members to pitch in for my surgery. I set the date and started my pre-op diet! From that point on I should have known I was going to be a mess. I was supposed to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks because my liver needed to shrink for surgery. So i ate everything they told me to for the first 3 days and BAM....the feeling set in.....I WANTED AN ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER FROM JACK N THE BOX AND I WANTED IT NOW! I couldn't get it off my mind....i was thinking about it allllllll day.....i went to bed thinking about it...and the next morning i went and got one. I figured...what could ONE double cheese burger with double cheese and mayo possibly do......well...it did nothing to the surgery process but it really broke the frame of mind. Before the 2 weeks was up i had eatin 2 not one but TWO ultimate cheeseburgers and a few chicken nuggets. Why? Why couldn't I just do the PRE SURGERY diet? June 8th 2005------So surgery day came....and went.....all went well no complications.....i was on soft food in the beginning and I started to eat Eggs for breakfast....but my eggs HAD to have cheese and butter in them....HELLO!!! What was I thinking.....I remember getting my first fill and at this point I had almost lost 40lbs. 20pre-op and 20 post-op. It was amazing....... About 3 months out(2 months after my 1st fill) I started to become familiar with my band and how much I could and could not eat. I realized that when i would eat too much, i drank a little bit, and it would make the food pass and then i would feel sooooo much better. I never exercised...keep in mind...(maybe got into the pool like 10 times the whole summer) and i was preparing for my wedding which was September 17th 2005. I was so stressed because my weightloss had pretty much STOPPED......I was craving foods like never before and started to eat and drink at the same time...BIG MISTAKE......i was eating at least double what I should have. So I went and had ANOTHER fill. This slowed me down...but still I was not losing ANY weight. I remember eating my first fried chicken after my fill and like trying to manipulate my band into letting me eat more by taking one bite and then drinking....it was the worst thing in the world i could have EVER done. A year after my band was put in I was only 20lbs total lost (which means i gained 20 back) and I was so angry...I promised myself I was going to try and fix things and make it better....So much had happened that year....2006....we bought a house, my husbands dad died of cancer, my husband was leaving for weeks at a time for work...and i was home ALONE with my daughter. I had no energy to keep the house clean(and i still dont) but i would sit and mope.....and EAT.....I would make excuses to people who asked me WHY i hadn't lost any weight. I told them all that it was a slow process and that i had lost 40 pounds(lied to them). This year, Jan 2007...I was just sitting at dinner with my husband and looked down and noticed i had a 12oz strip steak, baked potato loaded....and mashed potatos loaded on my plate. I ate all of it. my band was NOT going to stop me. I also ate bread before that.......and drank sweat tea.... in Feb07 I was online playing around and saw an ad for a weightloss show. Primetime...suppose to be JUST like the Biggest Loser....I thought...hmmmm I'll just fill out the app for shits and giggles.....well they responded and wanted me to send them a tape....so i did. Then in march they had me get my band completely UNFILLED and then flew me out to LA and put me through med tests and interviews,THEY BOUGHT ME 2 PLANE SEATS because i was too big to fit in the plane chairs on my own....pretty sad huh,(cant say much more because they made me sign all kinds of disclosures) They told me it was a show that will be on ABC and told me i would be away from my family for 10 weeks. I thought....this is the chance i have been waiting for. They made me think i was going....for weeks after the interview I was getting called and asked follow up questions and told i was in the top 4....then on March 31 i was called and told the network did not choose me. I was DEVISTATED.............like someone should have just shot me right there. I was so upset...i cried the whole way home(we were out to eat of course) and my husband looked at me and said...why dont you just do it on your own? Ummmmm DUH right...? So about a week went by and I had done a real examination of what i have done wrong and how i have basically cheated myself out of my life! On Easter i saw my family and noticed how no one said i looked good anymore...that's because i didnt.....i looked worse...heavy as can be....and that night i sent an email to my family and decide that enough is enough. Im exercising daily...NO EXCUSES...i posted before/after pictures on my walls in my house of other people who have had the band. I put sayings all over the house saying "whats ur excuse now" and i told my husband that enough is enough. So we decided to start our weightloss exercise on the 9th.....on the 10th I went and had my band RE-filled and since the 10th I have lost 10lbs......unbelievable huh!!! So hopefully all this will inspire SOMEONE before it happens to them. Let my "GAIN" be your "LOSS". Good luck everyone! Krystal

Girl!!!! Im 370 lbs,,,,,,well actually 360 if my scale is right today....LOL....and 2 years ago i ASKED THE VERY SAME QUESTION.....I was convinced I would have a heart-attack working out...and i told everyone i need to do pool exercises.,.....well.......the trouble it took to get out of the house...get my suit on...get in the pool and work out....get out of the pool...then go into locker rooms and either take a shower or do the shower thing at home was SOOOOOOO EXHAUSTING!!!!!! I eventually stopped and made excuses for myself because walking would make my heart beat so fast it was rediculous....... So recently when i realized i was 2 yrs post op and i had excused myself from everything....i was still 370lbs and everyone looked at me like "even the surgery didnt help"..... DONT MAKE EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF......I know this is totally off subject......and not what you asked for but i soooooooosee myself in your writing....email me for some moral support...lets walk together... WALKING SUCKS....AND IT DOES MAKE THE HEART BEAT.....BUT START SLOW AND WORK YOUR WAY UP........I will call you and motivate you to get off the couch if you'd like!!!! I've lost 10lbs in 4 days JUST FROM WALKING...and it was only 2miles an hour.....cant beat that!!!! I never lost anything from the POOL! Althought I LOVE SWIMMING.......being a big girl.....you know what im talking about.... As far as getting in the pool post-op....as long as your scars are healed you can get on in......when i wanted to get in i put a waterproof bandaid over my scars and did just fine. Email me for some motivation!!!!:clap2:

I had HARD GOING for 2 years. I gave in to all my addictions......then a week ago i realized that by now i could have lost almost 100lbs or more....thats a BIG DEAL....and it's no ones fault but my own. Its ok to have HARD GOINGS.....just please dont do what i did....for 2 years....ill work with ya!!!

Floro is also known as floroscope.......its another term used to do a fill under an xray machine. You drink some stuff and it goes down and shows your stamache to the Dr so he can see how the liquid goes in your stamache....Most Doctors do this to find your port because they may not be able to get it in the Dr office. I had to have this done once and ever since the dr has no problem finding it on me.

SATURDAY 4/14/07 So this morning I woke up and thought.....hmmmm...maybe every Saturday or every other saturday i'll weigh myself. So I pulled out the DUSTY scale and got on....it said 360............NO WAY...........so I did it again....and again.....and again..... ok at this point i decided to get my DH out of bed and weigh him....he is consistantly 230-235 and i weighed my 2 1/2 yr old who came in at 30.4.....which is normal too....so i must have really lost 10llbs in 4 days!!! HOW COOL IS THAT!!!! THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME IVE MADE IT A POINT TO WORK OUT....AND IM GETTING REALLY EXCITED!!!! 10LBS A WEEK IN THE FIRST COUPLE WEEKS WOULD BE GREAT.....I HAVE A LOT OF WEIGHT TO LOSE...SO ITS DEFINATELY POSSIBLE...... YAY ME!!!!!:clap2:

SATURDAY 4/14/07 So this morning I woke up and thought.....hmmmm...maybe every Saturday or every other saturday i'll weigh myself. So I pulled out the DUSTY scale and got on....it said 360............NO WAY...........so I did it again....and again.....and again..... ok at this point i decided to get my DH out of bed and weigh him....he is consistantly 230-235 and i weighed my 2 1/2 yr old who came in at 30.4.....which is normal too....so i must have really lost 10llbs in 4 days!!! HOW COOL IS THAT!!!! THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME IVE MADE IT A POINT TO WORK OUT....AND IM GETTING REALLY EXCITED!!!! 10LBS A WEEK IN THE FIRST COUPLE WEEKS WOULD BE GREAT.....I HAVE A LOT OF WEIGHT TO LOSE...SO ITS DEFINATELY POSSIBLE...... YAY ME!!!!!:clap2:

Wow! I cant even imagine paying that much for a fill. I got lucky, my Dr. is right down the street from me and since I did the surgery with him he only charges me $50 a fill and $125 for floro if i need it...but i have only needed it once. I really hope you find someone cheaper...thats crazy prices for some fluid!

Ok....So its 915pm my time and i decided i was definately going to try and walk more tonight. This is more than Ive ever walked on the treadmill in one day...YAY me! I got on the treadmill and walked for 20min and then the lil string popped off and the treadmill did an emergency stop...i was like "oh no you dont! im going 10 more minutes!" So i did.... So its been 1 mile and and 30 minutes later.....and i feel so good....the sucky part is that i keep thinking to myself..."how long will this last?" GAWD....I hope I can keep going.... Im finding it difficult to imagine myself thin...since Ive been big for so long...im also finding it difficult to actually keep up with a exercise routine...but hopefully my husbands will to get buff will be enough motivation for me to go down there with him. So total today i walked 55 minutes and 1.93 miles.....that is like a HUGE milestone.... I will definately keep everyone updated either everyother day...or daily...who knows... its funny how i assume people are reading this...when chances are no one is reading this.....but humor me! Krystal

Ok....So its 915pm my time and i decided i was definately going to try and walk more tonight. This is more than Ive ever walked on the treadmill in one day...YAY me! I got on the treadmill and walked for 20min and then the lil string popped off and the treadmill did an emergency stop...i was like "oh no you dont! im going 10 more minutes!" So i did.... So its been 1 mile and and 30 minutes later.....and i feel so good....the sucky part is that i keep thinking to myself..."how long will this last?" GAWD....I hope I can keep going.... Im finding it difficult to imagine myself thin...since Ive been big for so long...im also finding it difficult to actually keep up with a exercise routine...but hopefully my husbands will to get buff will be enough motivation for me to go down there with him. So total today i walked 55 minutes and 1.93 miles.....that is like a HUGE milestone.... I will definately keep everyone updated either everyother day...or daily...who knows... its funny how i assume people are reading this...when chances are no one is reading this.....but humor me! Krystal

Today is FRIDAY the April 13, 2007 Although I can see myself purposely try and sabbatage my body, I am aware of it now and I am taking the steps to prevent any and all BS that comes into my mind. The first two days were rough. My husband and I set up the Bowflex we bought for him and I. We had our "Final Meal" Monday night.......the funny thing about this final meal is that....ive had a bazillion final meals.....but for some reason this one was different. I didnt go "all out". I still had steak dinner...and I still ate the mashed potatoes with EVERYTHING on them.....but it was different....i didnt finish it all. My band was unfilled about 4 weeks ago because of personal reasons....i was required to get it unfilled. So for the past 4 weeks I had basically been eating like a pig. I never really lost weight from the band...but i cheated the system. I drank when I ate and I only had 2 fills the entire time I have been banded...which is not a good thing. On Tuesday I went to my Dr. and had my lapband refilled. I told him this was it....I was really going to do it....Im sure he has heard this all before so in a sense I felt really stupid....2 years have gone by and I have nothing to show for it.....same clothes...same size....same miserable self. I had started a job in September 06 and it was a work from home job. A DREAM JOB FOR A FAT GIRL. I was making $500 a week to answer the phone lines as a customer service rep. The job was completely legit and was great....except I sat at my computer for HOURS on end. The girl I worked with was absolutely nuts! She was the owners sister and she was 50+ and thought she knew everything...NOT. After making a new discovery in my life that my health was #1 and my job was making me SICK that B%$#H e-mailed me a nasty lwork re-lated email for the last time. I quit immediately putting her and her sister(the owner) in a nasty spot with no one to cover my shifts. SERVES THEM RIGHT! I'm tired of people taking over my life and making me miserable....but then I thought...thats exactly what I have been doing for YEARS!! :clap2: DUH So i'm sitting here thinking to myself....what can I do to make sure I don't for lack of better terms (fall off the wagon) and I remembered lapbandtalk.com. I am going to try and stick to this...hopefully a year from now I will have an entire journal and tons a weight down! Today I walked 25 min and .93 miles....which is a huge leap from yesterday...(at least to me it is) Yesterday i walked 20 min .64 miles I broke a sweat both days...YIPPEE (kyle(my husband) is working out with me...so this makes it a lot easier) Right now im eating liquid things(because my band was just filled)....i was told by my lapband dr that i should NOT be drinking protein shakes because they are "empty" calories. So i've ditched that idea I have been told to eat 5-6 meals a day......that's hard for me because my meal selection is slim....any ideas? Right now it has to be soft foods but in a couple of days i can go back to normal. Just an update! I will be shooting for 25-30 minutes tomorrow...and possible start holding some weights while i walk... Thanks for all the encouragement!!! Kyle says i should be walking at night tonight.....so maybe i will hop on for 15 min...... tata for now Krystal

Today is FRIDAY the April 13, 2007 Although I can see myself purposely try and sabbatage my body, I am aware of it now and I am taking the steps to prevent any and all BS that comes into my mind. The first two days were rough. My husband and I set up the Bowflex we bought for him and I. We had our "Final Meal" Monday night.......the funny thing about this final meal is that....ive had a bazillion final meals.....but for some reason this one was different. I didnt go "all out". I still had steak dinner...and I still ate the mashed potatoes with EVERYTHING on them.....but it was different....i didnt finish it all. My band was unfilled about 4 weeks ago because of personal reasons....i was required to get it unfilled. So for the past 4 weeks I had basically been eating like a pig. I never really lost weight from the band...but i cheated the system. I drank when I ate and I only had 2 fills the entire time I have been banded...which is not a good thing. On Tuesday I went to my Dr. and had my lapband refilled. I told him this was it....I was really going to do it....Im sure he has heard this all before so in a sense I felt really stupid....2 years have gone by and I have nothing to show for it.....same clothes...same size....same miserable self. I had started a job in September 06 and it was a work from home job. A DREAM JOB FOR A FAT GIRL. I was making $500 a week to answer the phone lines as a customer service rep. The job was completely legit and was great....except I sat at my computer for HOURS on end. The girl I worked with was absolutely nuts! She was the owners sister and she was 50+ and thought she knew everything...NOT. After making a new discovery in my life that my health was #1 and my job was making me SICK that B%$#H e-mailed me a nasty lwork re-lated email for the last time. I quit immediately putting her and her sister(the owner) in a nasty spot with no one to cover my shifts. SERVES THEM RIGHT! I'm tired of people taking over my life and making me miserable....but then I thought...thats exactly what I have been doing for YEARS!! :clap2: DUH So i'm sitting here thinking to myself....what can I do to make sure I don't for lack of better terms (fall off the wagon) and I remembered lapbandtalk.com. I am going to try and stick to this...hopefully a year from now I will have an entire journal and tons a weight down! Today I walked 25 min and .93 miles....which is a huge leap from yesterday...(at least to me it is) Yesterday i walked 20 min .64 miles I broke a sweat both days...YIPPEE (kyle(my husband) is working out with me...so this makes it a lot easier) Right now im eating liquid things(because my band was just filled)....i was told by my lapband dr that i should NOT be drinking protein shakes because they are "empty" calories. So i've ditched that idea I have been told to eat 5-6 meals a day......that's hard for me because my meal selection is slim....any ideas? Right now it has to be soft foods but in a couple of days i can go back to normal. Just an update! I will be shooting for 25-30 minutes tomorrow...and possible start holding some weights while i walk... Thanks for all the encouragement!!! Kyle says i should be walking at night tonight.....so maybe i will hop on for 15 min...... tata for now Krystal

:help: This is the email I sent all my friends and family the day I decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH I need support from my family around me. Dated 4/8/07 This is what it said: Tomorrow is the day I have decide to start the rest of my life. All of you know I am overweight...um DUH ALL OR MOST OF YOU KNOW I HAD WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY ALMOST 2 YRS AGO...AND I HAVE CHEATED MYSELF.....................................THIS IS EMBARRASSING......BUT I HAVE TOTALLY F'D UP(FOR LACK OF BETTER TERMS) FROM THIS POINT FORWARD I AM ASKING ALL OF YOU TO TAKE A STAND FOR MY ACTIONS....MEANING... DO NOT LET ME PUT ONE MORE ONCE OF FAST FOOD IN MY MOUTH IF YOU SEE ME EATING ANYTHING I SHOULDNT BE....MAKE IT LOUD AND OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE AROUND ME THAT MY BIG ASS SHOULD NOT BE EATING THAT... ASK ME IF I WORKED OUT TODAY.....(I HATE THIS QUESTION MORE THAN ANYTHING.....IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL GOOD TO BE ABLE TO TELL SOMEONE YES) IF I GET AN ATTITUDE WITH YOU....TELL ME TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR....... IM NOT KIDDING....I KNOW I HAVE GOTTON AWAY WITH CHOMPIN ON SOME MAJOR STEAK DINNERS IN FRONT OF ALL MY FRIENDS AND THEY HAVE KEPT QUIET.... DONT KEEP QUIET ANYMORE...PLEASE DONT I KNOW IT IS MY FAULT FOR WHERE I AM TODAY.....FOR ME TO FIX THIS I NEED SOME ENCOURAGEMENT... KYLE IS STANDING BEHIND ME 100% AND WILL ENFORCE THE HOUSE FOOD RULES... EVERYONE ELSE NEEDS TO BE ON MY ASS LIKE NEVER BEFORE.... THIS IS NOT A JOKE....MY RECENT EMOTIONAL EXAM OF MYSELF OVER THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS HAS MADE ME THINK AND I WANT SOOOOOOO MUCH MORE OUT OF LIFE. SERIOUSLY.....IF I SLIP AND TALK MYSELF INTO EATING SOMETHING THAT YOU KNOW IS A NONO... TAKE THAT SHIT OUT OF MY HANDS AND TOSS IT IN THE TRASH...I GIVE U PERMISSION... DO NOT ASK ME OUT TO DINNER... ASK ME TO WORK OUT I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND IF YOU LOVE ME BACK YOU WILL HELP ME THIS IS EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING AND I AM REALLY STEPPING OUT ON A LINE TO ASK THIS OF EVERYONE I KNOW....EVEN IF I DONT SEE YOU OFTEN.. THANKS KRYSTAL