54AndCounting

Don't feel like a lone ranger about "not" telling your parents. I didn't tell my Dad because he's always had this belief that you don't go to doctors unless it's life and death. He didn't feel like this weight issue was life and death, though it was/is life and death for me. After it was done and he realized that I survived and was O.K., he was alright with it. He may not approve, but I think he realizes that I'm smart, I did my homework, and I found a great doctor who did a wonderful job. So, don't sweat it, your folks will come around, especially as they watch your body shrink and your smile grow!!! P.S. I had my sleeve surgery done on December 20th and I'm already rid of 32 pounds....I couldn't be happier if I was twins!!!

Brian, Thanks for this post. I can definitely relate! I remember weighing 145 pounds in 6th grade, at least that's what I remember. And that's why my goal weight is 145 pounds. I want to see how 145 pounds looks on a grown woman. At 5'9", I think it's gonna look a whole lot better now than it did then....but we'll see. I have absolutely no idea how that weight will fit my frame, but I'll know soon enough. Thanks for sharing your "moment"!

I'm with you on the "this is NOT a diet" tip! I was sleeved on December 20th and have already lost 32 pounds. This is quite a difference from losing and gaining and losing the SAME 12 pounds on Weight Watchers for a year and a half. I can hardly believe the success, so that tells my logical mind that this is definitely NOT a diet....those don't work for me very well. I'm like everyone else here and I'll struggle just a bit with my own demons. I went to the market this evening and had to restrain myself from buying pretzel bits. The funny part is that I'm only on mushies right now, pureed chicken or tuna salad, egg salad, things like that. I'm not sure what possessed me to think of something starchy except that I still have a little carb addict somewhere in my psyche. Gladly, my judgment returned before I managed to purchase something that would be a set back. I'm just trying to remind myself that I really don't have the room for nonsense foods at this point. I'm doing well if I can squeeze in enough Protein each day....now THAT is definitely a new feeling for me! And if I'm honest with myself, I admit that I LOVE it. Full on just a few spoonfuls of food is definitely a strange new feeling for me and one I appreciate more than I thought I would. PJF

Don't feel like a lone ranger on the negative inputs! I'm having my surgery on Monday, December 20th. I'm a bit anxious, but mostly very excited. I've been battling weight issues since I was about 8 years old. I just don't feel like I deserve to be punished via diets and remarks, any more. When I realized there was something more aggressive I could do and that (thank goodness) my insurance began covering as of November 1st I was thrilled. I have a great support team of some of my friends and family. The people that are mean spirited, well, they don't know about the surgery. My Dad has issues with any kind of surgical intervention that isn't mandated by medical condition and he just doesn't see weight that way....so, I'm not telling him until after it's over. My cousin is a surgeon and knows my Bariatric surgeon very well. He's shared his insights with me and is very supportive.....that means the world to me 'cause he's a surgeon and knows this one very well. Knows is knowledge, knows his experience, and knows the person. Can't do better than that. To make this long story even longer, just rest assured that as long as you've done your homework, are in a good frame of mind and have selected a talented medical team, this is the start of something wonderful. The thing is that I KNOW there is a lot of hard work ahead. I just want to be able to see some return on this investment. I've worked hard before and had little or no return for that work. I'm just tickled that I've found this supportive community and that I have people I can talk with that have "been there" and are helping light the way to a new me. Best wishes to you and I'll keep checking back to see how everything goes for you! Regards, Pam

Hi BriarRose, Your post jumped right out at me partly because I'm also 54 and partly because I haven't told my Dad I'm having surgery yet. I love my Dad, but he's from the school of though that isn't too fond of doctors and doesn't believe in having surgery unless he considers it life or death. He's recently been diagnosed with cancer and is having his surgery this Tuesday. In the meantime, well last Friday I found out that my insurance company has changed its policy on BMI so I now qualify for the sleeve. I have been doing my research again this year since June and had initially thought about getting the band. But for me, the thought of having a band around my stomach and a port that has to be filled, was too much to deal with. I'm not fond of needles, and having to routinely go in to have saline injected made me a bit queasy. Also, when I realized that the band does little or nothing to affect (or is that effect?) hunger hormones, I was less than thrilled. I know someone who got the gastric bypass and thinking about all the connecting and disconnecting didn't sit well with me. The sleeve just feels like the most straight forward approach for me to do. This feels like something that I can live with and move forward with. I haven't told my Dad and don't intend to until the last minute. He means well, but his bias is as stated above. I think he round some literature on my desk about the weight loss surgery and said to me "I hope you're not considering doing something foolish." That comment felt kind of like a kick to the gut, but that's just how he feels about any surgery that isn't emergency and life and death. I just feel like I've tried everything else for the last 47 years or so and it's time to try another approach. I went through a period when I thought that somehow this kind of surgery was cheating....you know....anything that helps out the fat girl must be cheating, right? But then I decided just to avail myself of another tool, a more successful tool than I'd tried before. What's the old saying? Doing the same things and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity...and I may be many things, but insane is not one of them! Also, I think that as an overweight person, I've kind of been programmed to think that there must be something inherently wrong with me. I must be lazy, or not bright, or have some other malady that would cause me to allow myself to get to this place. I think as much as I tell myself I'm not influenced by the messages, I did manage to internalize at least some of the negatives associated with being overweight. But, I digress... I WILL be getting my surgery date tomorrow (Monday) and I'm aiming for the middle of December. I'm back in school and that will allow me to recover between semesters...at least begin the recovery process. If I am pushed to next year, it will be a financial strain, but as long as I do it by the end of this year, it won't cost me additional deductible.....I'm sure I'm not the only one that's playing beat the clock/calendar. I wish you much success in this endeavor and I plan on keeping an eye on you and on your progress. You know, we boomers have to stick together. Like you I'm aiming for 55 and fabulous. And just between us girls, I've been telling close friends that I'm hoping to set myself up to be able to lie about my age and get away with it. Better yet, I hope to get myself together while I'm back in school working on a Master's degree. Once that's complete, I have to be able to sit through an interview and be taken seriously. I think that will be a whole lot more possible without an extra 139 pounds hanging on my frame. Cheers! PJF