First of all, I apologize for the long post.
I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and spent most of the afternoon at the military hospital answering questions, checking yes or no boxes, signing my name and dating page after page after page etc....but i felt good about doing all of it. I felt good knowing that I was taking control of my health and that I would eventually have a tool that would help me learn to only feed my body what it needs. I was at the hospital for over 5 hours, but all in all I had a great day.......
But this morning was different.
I had so many emotions going through my head. So many feelings of inadequacy (am I strong enough to do this), was I making the right decision and the dreaded "I could lose the weight on my own if i really tried", which I know is not true. I have lost and regained the same weight since I was a freshman in high school, and I've given enough money to the weight loss industry and their snake oil. The promising "lifestyle change" solutions haven't worked much either.
Today I cried. I felt anxious and nervous and terrified and a lot of other things...But I think I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I've made this decision to better my life, and I plan to stick to my guns. I've never had surgery. I honestly don't know what to expect other than what I've read of other people's experiences. Okay, I feel like I'm rambling now, and must stop. Again, I apologize for the long post, I just needed to get my mojo out there and possibly get some feedback from those of you who have gone through the surgery, as I'm counting down the days.
Kim