LittleLottie

I just logged in to search SPECIFICALLY for this topic! I just finished Women, food, and God (by Geneen Roth) yesterday...and the emotions and fear coming up is not something I expected! But this is one of those books that I think, I HOPE, can truly open our hearts and help us find healing if we will let it.... The problem is, (and I'm sure many of you can relate) that my fear that without having food to numb the pain or provide an escape-life would be unbearable...that I wouldn't be able to cope...And this (illogical, ridiculous, destructive) fear sometimes overrides my deepest and most sincere desires to be healthy and maintain and a lean weight. I got lapband in 07, and was very successful, losing over 100 pounds... (238 down to 132, currently 156) But I know I believed the "lie" or the illusion that once I was skinny, life would be easier to manage or deal with. (Cause skinny people don't have problems, right? Haha!) For a while, I even convinced myself that this was true.... I loved being a size 2-4. I loved the attention. I loved fitting into ANYTHING I tried on and looking great. BUT..... being thin didn't change how my parents saw me... it didn't make my father realize I'm a talented, successful woman and a great mother.... It didn't stop my husband from spiraling in his own terrible addiction which nearly killed him and almost destroyed our family. And it sure as hell didn't stop me from eating my weight in ice cream to numb the pain. IT WAS NOT A MAGIC PILL, it did not CURE the wounds and brokenness and did not make life easier to cope with. My band is no longer working now. I had a dilation in November, and I think it has just continued to worsen, and I've gained 25 pounds! This has been terrifying, and incredibly frustrating. I've done HCG, atkins, paleo, and liquid diets, and have joined a crossfit gym, working out harder than I EVER have in my life! But then I sabotage it and eat crap over a weekend or for birthdays, etc, so now, slowly, the weight has continued to pile onto my butt. And dieting in between my fits of emotional eating has just started me back on the hellish rollercoaster I had been on for 1/2 my life before getting the band. Some of this I weight I probably needed to gain, but 10-15 lbs of it is just stubborn fat from my impulsive choices... I feel like the fat is my punishment for being stupid, and my body retaliating from the years of not eating, rollercoastering, abusing it, and neglecting it. Now that I can eat more- it doesn't seem to matter WHAT I eat, I gain. (I joke with my husband that I could gain weight eating a carrot.) I desperately want to get the sleeve- I wanted it MONTHS ago, but I know I also subconsciously believe that the sleeve will be the cure to my current situation... and it's irreversible.... so if I fail at the sleeve, like I am now failing with the band...then what? Am I going to have WLS revisions every five years for the rest of my life? Ah, I don't think so!!! I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE UNDERLYING ISSUES, otherwise they are just going to continue to fester and undermine anything I do. I've got to become whole with my relationship to food before a revision is an option.... I don't want to spend the rest of my life loving and fearing or hating and resenting every damn thing I put in my mouth. I want to be able to live like a "normal" person. Ugh... why couldn't I just "switch" my food addiction to an exercise addiction, or a compulsive cleaning addiction....(sigh) Haha! So those of you who feel you have conquered your food addictions, or needs to medicate/escape/numb with food.... how did you do it? What, specifically, did you do? Thanks ladies! Have a great day!

That's fantastic! So far, the surgeons I've contacted locally have only had experience doing revisions from band to RNY- and I really want someone experience in band to sleeve revisions.... so I will most likely have to travel. (My insurance is already out of network, as it's through Oxford in the New York area....so I don't THINK it would be a problem having an out-of-state surgeon....but who knows!!!) I am glad to hear that this worked out for you- and I hope you are having wonderful success, and feeling great now that the band is gone! =) -Charlotte

I am, like many of you, desperate to have my band out and be revised to the sleeve. I have been saving and working on financing for a couple of months now... (I was originally planning to have Dr. Aceves do the revision...) But it now looks like I will need to have my gall bladder removed, and I am trying to quickly get information on the possibility of having the revision at the same time, and hoping that if I could do this, I could pay less out of pocket for the revision since my insurance would cover my gall bladder removal. Has anyone been in this situation, or have any tips? I would also love recommendations for US surgeons who are experienced with band to sleeve revisions so that I can look into insurance coverage for them... Thanks in advance everyone!! =)