LilMissDiva Irene

Hello Everyone,

It has been a very long time since I have been to this forum and I wanted to check in to see how everyone is doing. I also wanted to catch up with my crazy life. Anyway I have been offline in the bariatric world just living my life. After a while things just start settling down and years go by... times change... faces get older and brains get used to life in the "new normal".

I don't know if an of you will know my story so to make it short I have been through THREE WLS's. Yes, I said three... a lapband, a Gastric Sleeve and finally I resolved to be a RnY Bypasser. Ha! No regrets.. well maybe a few.. I'm human after all. ANYWAY!! I need to reconnect because I have NOT been working out much at all. Just the very minimum and even these past few weeks I have done nothing. No bueno! So, as I was lying in bed just now something just zapped me the hell out of it and I decided I needed to get UP!! Sheesh... So, here I am! Ready to get back to my serious workout and being kind to my body. My muscles are crying to come back out and play.

I'm here to chat anytime. I probably have the most experience of anyone you'll ever meet as far as weight loss, gains, all surgery types, workouts, eating plans... anything. But I also need some accountability too. I'm older now and I see it. I see that I can't do this alone. I need my bariatric friends for guidance and a KICK IN THE BUTT!

A shout out to anyone who remembers me. Check in and say hi! I really miss you guys. Much love and all peace.

Irene and my most recent selfie. I'm on Facebook and IG too. FB: Irene Janel Avila and IG: Pookies_Mama

I'm very happy for you! I will be so glad to have my arms done. Was it very painful? It won't prevent me from doing it, and I have a very high threshold for pain. What was it for you on the pain scale?

My arm lift was the one I feared the most (visible scars) but actually made a huge difference. I recall my son and his girlfriend meeting me at a "bar" a few weeks post op and her...omg...you are so much smaller ! Comment. I am top heavy by build so reducing that skin bulk was a big impact for me. They turned out great. I actually had no idea it was a problematic procedure.

I do believe there was some editing to make the story more interesting, as with any "reality TV". Another reason why being judgmental toward any of the subjects doesn't make sense. I don't look to deeply into the reasons behind anyone's journey, I only applaud and support anyone who is working on bettering themselves.

Thanks @JamieLogical! You look great! That makes me feel so much better! Did you have the same kind of depression those folks did or do you suppose the show just exaggerated it for dramatic affect?

As always, thank YOU.

LilMissDiva,

What a great article you have written. I am so glad you came to the conclusion that loving yourself can mean loving yourself the way you are, and loving yourself enough to be who you want to and CAN be! It is a wonderful thing to be able to acknowledge and Celebrate your WLS journey. It is also a brave thing to be able to be ready to cut off the excess skin, because it is a statement that you are done with it – that you’re not going to grow back into it! Thank you for sharing this source of inspiration.

@@jess9395 I'm not sure if you watched the entire show but she stated she was very happy at the end.

I didn't write this article to create a forum for belittling or judging the lovely lady on the show. Thank you for your input.

However, I wrote it because there are many people out there who feel judged and often times keep the plastic surgery journey to themselves. Many choose to keep how they feel about their excess skin hidden because others out there who view their feelings negatively. I caution to plant labels on someone due to any factors in their medical history, including anxiety.

Irene

I didn't hate my body nearly as much as Luana did on that show either. However, I didn't have nearly as much loose skin as her, so it's hard to say how I would have felt in her shoes. I do know that I am SUPER happy with the results of my plastics, though! It has been 4.5 years since I had plastics and I am still incredibly grateful and enjoying the results every single day!

Like I said above, I'm of the mind that part of it may be due to an anxiety disorder on her part (she mentioned taking anxiety meds). But as someone trained in the mental health field, her level of body hatred/anxiety strikes me as dysfunctional--it interferes with her daily life to a very large degree. She kept saying she was a freak, deformed, etc. She really didn't look that bad to me, especially with clothes on! She looked beautiful!

I didn't want to admit that either - the procrastinator part. Haha I totally get that! I will follow you! You give me hope.

I waited 10-years to have my plastic surgery. I had all kinds of excuses, and I have learned that I am one of the greatest procrastinators in the world (I waited years on my bariatric surgery, too)!

The plastic surgery was life changing for me. I will quote another patient who said, "Bariatric surgery saved my life. Plastic surgery saved my soul." Yes. That is how I feel, exactly.

Understand that my body contouring plastic surgery was not a walk in the park. I went through some egregious situations and more than two years out I am still contending with complications. And of course, I now have scars in place of the skin. My facial plastic surgery was a cake walk by comparison.

Despite all that, I am glad that I did this. The plastic surgery was the completion of my weight loss surgery.

If anyone is interested, I have begun to document my journey:

Body contouring plastic surgery

Facial plastic surgery

Good luck to all of you on your journeys!!!

Hi NewSet, I wouldn't ever want for anyone to feel guilty for wanting more. And just like you explained it, it goes much deeper than just vanity. Fitting clothes, working out in comfort, no itchy skin to tend to... etc. Don't feel bad for wanting to be free from your excess skin, because after awhile I became to realize it's shedding that old self away - literally.

"Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head."

@@LilMissDiva Irene,

Thank you for this post. This statement, that I quoted above, just resonates with me in such a powerful way. I had plastics done. A part of me--or maybe some of the social stigmatisms that are ingrained in my brain--feels partially guilty. I sort of feel like my vanity drove me to spend that money on myself, versus using it towards our home or kids, or any other area of our lives. But that part, when you said that "loving" ourselves...honoring our self worth...includes doing everything we can to become what we "imagine" ourselves to be...it hit the nail on the head. I worked VERY hard--from changing our eating life style at home, making our family an active family, to my extremely hard work in the gym--to become the person that I imagined. However, I fell short. Despite my 5' 6" frame and being a size 4/6 with barely any belly fat, my stomach still flapped when I ran and jumped. And no matter how many push-ups or how much weight I put on that bench press, my breast still looked like large & flappy dried prunes. And not matter how many lunges, squats, box jumps or leg presses I did, my upper thighs remained a jiggling mess. I wanted my hard work to reflect on my body. And it did. With my clothes on. With a pair of spanks on.

Thank you. I feel validated in my decision. Any whispers of regret or guilt have just floated away.

This is another thing that gets me, the way my clothes fit. It's not a mystery that most clothing makers don't factor in 20 Lbs of excess skin when creating clothes. It will be so nice to be able to put on clothes with ease, rather than trying to re-fit a busted can of Pillsbury muffins back into the canister.

It does not look like I will need skin removal on the arms. I never had really heavy arms. I figure I would like to eventually get a panni and TT. The thighs I am on the fence about but they certainly wouldn't be a priority. Boob lift and reduction probably.

I carried all of my weight in my belly so I going to have the most excess skin there. I have always wanted to be smaller chested even when I was thin before.

I find that where I carry my weight and have the excess skin effects the clothes sizes I can buy. I would probably be down to a 12 pant size except that I would have camel toe. (Sorry about the visual picture). I would be fine in the legs and belly but since I still carry fat and skin in the panni the pants fit odd there. Same issue with some underwear. The panni kinda spills over the sides but can have a bit too much butt room or leg elastic room.

I ride horses and I ride English. Since ride in breeches which fit tight, like 2nd skin. Eventually having the excess skin gone will help the fit of the breeches. Having the boobs smaller will be easier to manage. Unless I am really careful with the type of bra I use the girls hurt when I ride and just move too much. The smaller boobs will help with my balance while riding too.

I loved your reply, thank you. You get it.

I'll be honest, I skimmed your post because near the middle my eyes started getting teary and I am currently wearing a ton of non-waterproof makeup. I wasn't bothered by my excess skin the first few times I lost a lot of weight, probably because my entire life I have been fat or saggy, however after having lost with the sleeve I decided I wanted to get my boobs done. This was almost entirely because I hated that I couldn't wear cute tops because I needed major support bras to not look like I was super saggy. That same week I started checking out abdominoplasty pictures and I'll be honest even then I had no idea that I could ever have a flat stomach. Ever since I was a kid, even when I was thin I always had a little pooch of skin/fat so I generally didn't wear tight clothing or if I did it was with Spanx. Well, a year later and 3 surgeries with everything from the boobs and stomach, to thighs, arms and posterior body lift, and I look like a different person. I had no idea how different I would look and feel. Sure, I am still a little ashamed of my arm scars, although they are quickly fading and very hard to see, but the rest can only be seen when I'm not wearing clothing so I mostly ignore them.

Having my plastics procedures did unspeakable things for my confidence that just losing weight never could have. I am so grateful that I was able to have the work done and while most of my friends find me to be fabulously full of myself because I just had to go spend a small luxury car on being a "plastic Barbie", thanks to my surgeon I never look in the mirror any more and feel disgust. I had no idea how much the extra skin made me dislike myself until I finally saw what it was like gone. I may not love my face all the time, my hair might still be thin (damn sleeve) and I have plenty of other flaws, but my figure, because of my surgeon is something that for the first time in my life that makes me feel almost hot sometimes. I feel like a finished product, instead of like a deflated fat girl.

I just want to reply in that it is not true that skin removal is guaranteed replacement by hideous scars. Skin removal surgery has made leaps and bounds over the years, especially now that more and more people are having WLS and needing this once they get to their goals. There are many very skilled plastic surgeons who specialize in Excess skin removal and the scars are almost non existent. They are very well placed and look like a small line after awhile of healing.

I watched the show as well and it made me very sad and fearful. I'm only 4 months out from my gastric bypass surgery and am down 55 lbs. Need to lose about 40 lbs more but I'm afraid of what I will look like. I would be happy if I could just be a healthy size 12-14 and never got to "goal weight" and have my skin still look relatively normal.

I'm 57 so there's not a lot of elasticity left in my skin. I don't want nor likely can afford this skin removal process. It seems to be a very painful process, there's high risk involved, and you are left with hideous scars. Now my concern is that I won't stop losing when I want to and will get thinner than I would like. I DON'T want to look like my skin has melted or go through this procedure. Is there a way to stop losing weight when you are happy where you are?

Losing weight and getting healthy and fit is always the right choice. It's just not always the finish line for some of us. But being able to live is far better than sitting on the sidelines. It's also nice to not worry if you will live to see your children grow up, or something that has meaning to you.

Be honest: How does your extra skin make you feel?

I was watching the new show "Skin Tight" on TLC with the young lady who's name is Lauana, mentioning her excess skin and how it REALLY made her feel. I personally have always had the knack of pushing my feelings aside and just being happy with 'Good Enough'... but then she spoke.

Be honest: How does your extra skin make you feel?

I was watching the new show "Skin Tight" on TLC with the young lady who's name is Lauana, mentioning her excess skin and how it REALLY made her feel. I personally have always had the knack of pushing my feelings aside and just being happy with 'Good Enough'... but then she spoke.

I have always wanted to eventually get my skin removed, someday. I've been at or near goal for about 4 years now, or something like that. I've never really counted. But I also never acknowledged the fact that I may be more fit, healthier, smaller.. whatever, but I am not a finished product. I still have one more step to go and with watching that Television program I was slapped in the face with it. I need to have my excess skin removed.

To this day I've never ever shared photos of my excess skin, and I probably won't until it's gone. Kind of the Before and After effect. I can't stand it. The gal who was on there, we look exactly alike naked. And when she said, "Sometimes I wonder if it's just better to be fat and filled out rather than be left with this saggy skin..." I felt that a little too much! I almost cried. Honesty came to the forefront and it made me realize that until I get it through my thick skin... (pun intended?) that I will never feel complete. Later during her consultation, the surgeon pulled her excess arm skin to the back, revealing a slender beautifully fit arm. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing at that point. All I could do was reach next to my bed and grab a tissue and wipe away the shame of what I had done to my body. I could see in my imagination the many times I'd done that in front of my mirror when I'm all alone in the room. Wondering what it must be like.. going out in public without worry someone is looking at my saggy arms, or what they must be thinking. I want to feel that general confidence that come with that.

I have always said that yes, I wanted to have my excess skin removed, but not with as much certainty as I was at that moment.

So why am I sharing this here? Why am I not sharing this in the skin removal category? Because, this is something that majority and I mean 90ish percent of us will think about at some point. With WLS comes a lot of fat loss, and with a lot of fat loss comes a lot of extra skin. Of course there will be some lucky people out there without the extra skin, and God Blessed them. But me? No, I have it. I hate it. I want it gone. I also hope that through this channel of communication I can bring others some comfort. That you are not alone, you are not crying alone. You are not wishing and hating your skin alone.

I have gone through more than my share of surgeries since my Lap Band in 2008, so the thought of more surgeries has me turned off. That said, when I see my friends who have had the skin removed... my heart aches for that feeling that I know nothing about. What it must be like to look tight, and finally feel like a normal person (whatever that means!). I want to say however that I wouldn't change a thing about my journey. I am glad that I made the choice to have Weight Loss Surgery. I am glad that I kept fighting when things didn't seem to go my way. I am glad that I stayed positive and kept moving forward when it felt like I wasn't losing. I am glad I stayed strong mentally and kept working toward a new day.

I am mostly thankful to myself that I kept that part of me in the background when I really needed to focus on other health issues I was having. I most likely would have gone crazy otherwise... but I've gotten all of the other health issues resolved. So now, this issue is ready for me to fix.

I am now in that fork in the road of, do I just take one course and keep the skin? Or do I take the other road and help myself achieve what I always imagined in my head I could be?

Thanks to the new TLC show, I have finally made my choice.

Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head. There can always be room for improvement.

I had this set to record on my DVR and it sat in the inbox for days... then I just deleted it. I figured if I haven't watched it yet then I don't really want to. Seems like just another TBL type humiliate the fat person type show honestly.

And then there's that other new series where the trainer gains 60 "Sympathy" pounds and teams up with someone desperately trying to lose weight. I thought, Wow... they have reached a new low trying to get viewers here. That can't be healthy at all.

Irene

Great topic. I personally choose to eat carbs, I don't look at them as evil or something I shouldn't ever eat. But honestly that's only because I can. Every BODY is different, and as people are learning themselves, their triggers and what makes them gain, they should listen. If carbs is a problem for said person, then they simply shouldn't have them as much. It's almost impossible to never ever have any carbs. But some work better on the lesser and some such as myself do fine with a one third diet. One third fats and the rest Protein. I am a very well balanced eater.

But then again it's also important I'm eating the right kind of carbs too. Carbs coupled with nutrition our bodies need, as I have the Bypass now and I have to be careful to ensure I'm getting all of my nutrients, along with supplements on top of that. I slacked a little bit in the recent past and it left me feeling bad and tired. I've been picking it back up and amazingly I seem to be feeling a lot better...

The the answer is that my attitude toward carbs is: Cautious.

Thank you! But those looks are thanks to the Sleeve. The enjoyment of life is from the Bypass, so both are in thanks. They are both good and viable choices for the right people.

Irene

I also have had all three WLS procedures. The Lap Band in 2/2008, the Sleeve in 9/2010 and then the Bypass in 7/2014. I personally have nothing bad to say about the Sleeve, except I ended up with severe GERD. I lost a lot of weight with it, but needed to revise to keep my food down so to speak. I'm doing well with the Bypass. My GERD is gone and my blood sugar and blood pressure are both excellent. Even my cholesterol.

The choice belongs to the OP, and I only hope that she does as much research as she can. It's an individual decision and only she can make it the right one for herself.

You look fantastic!!!Sometimes 3 is a charm!!!:-)

I also have had all three WLS procedures. The Lap Band in 2/2008, the Sleeve in 9/2010 and then the Bypass in 7/2014. I personally have nothing bad to say about the Sleeve, except I ended up with severe GERD. I lost a lot of weight with it, but needed to revise to keep my food down so to speak. I'm doing well with the Bypass. My GERD is gone and my blood sugar and blood pressure are both excellent. Even my cholesterol.

The choice belongs to the OP, and I only hope that she does as much research as she can. It's an individual decision and only she can make it the right one for herself.

That is interesting... most Drs will stick to the Rny idea. He is leaving the choice up to you, so get what you want. I have the Bypass. I love it. You're on the right track though, and since you are diabetic, keep researching the Bypass. It really works.

Regretting WLS immediately after surgery is very common! Lots won't say it because it can be seen as a weakness or they might feel ashamed. I felt very regretful post op. It lasted maybe 4 months, and of course that was around the time I started feeling normal and my weight loss was incredible. I have a feeling that will be the case for you as well @Velados

Hey y'all! Long time no chat...

So, I do miss my life pre-op. I won't lie. Things weren't so damn complicated. My every thought wasn't weight loss this, workout that. Self deprivation, wondering if that food over there is going to make me feel sick or nauseated. Am I going to have a blow out on that turkey? LOL okay... enough of that. I liked eating. I am freakin foodie. Of course right? Otherwise I wouldn't have needed WLS.

The funny thing is this... those are all the same things I enjoy in my life too. Thank GOD for my WLS tool, because otherwise I'm sure I'd be a showcase on My 600 Lb Life. Dr. Now would have to save me from the trenches of despair and hating myself for allowing myself to get so large and unhealthy.

Irene

I am a stomach sleeper too, since a baby! I had to stay off my stomach for a few weeks because of the pain, but after that I was okay. Every time I needed to move around I had to move slowly because of the soreness. I still sleep on my stomach even after the weight loss. So it's pretty much for me only a few weeks out of my life that I had to alter my sleeping.< /p>

@latido Some things just can't be explained! Good thread.

Congratulations!! You look fantastic.

@@skinnyself I've always been a straight shooter and my family has always known this about me too. I just came out and told them. Even friends and co-workers. Almost everyone was supportive. Worried, but still supportive. I came out just fine! Good luck to you!

@@mh97686 yes it will get easier to eat more and then you'll be wishing you were back here. Enjoy it! Kinda like a little kid who wishes he was a grown up and then when he's grown up he wondered why ever wished that. Same thing. Enjoy your journey every single day.