sunnysidega

My mom used that phrase, "honesty is the best policy" and I decided to start this blog with that thought. I have mostly failed at keeping up with my lap band program. I was banded in January of 2012 and lost 43 lbs in the first 4 months. I was very happy with the results, bought new clothes 2 sizes smaller and loved the positive comments from people who noticed the change. There was no support group in my area but thought I would make out ok. After all, I am a nurse and thought I knew it all. I guess what I didn't know was how many negatives in my life were supporting my bad habits. Not an excuse, but I had a 24/7 management job and it was killing me. So many hours, often 12 hrs a day and over weekends. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, lost my time to exercise and ate whenever and whatever I could and didn't take the time to plan it out. As the stress increased, I slowly began to gain weight back, a total of 20 lbs. I knew before the first year post LB that I couldn't keep up working like this and ever be successful with the LB. I just hadn't realized before how much work was affecting my life. At age 62, I decided to retire and I did. It has taken me nearly 3 months to "get myself back". I am no longer constantly fatigued and I have the time to take care of myself. Over the last several weeks, I am back to losing weight, 9 of the 20 lbs so far. I am trying to walk at least 30 minutes most days. I am also trying to find a stable spot with my blood sugars and how much of my oral medication I should take so I don't become hypoglycemic. I would like to use this blog to keep myself focused and gain support. I mostly see posts about success but not too many about someone who fails the first time around but comes back and meets that original goal. I want to be that person. I welcome any comments or advice you have. This morning I walked 30 minutes at a brisk pace. I weighed myself at 231 lbs. I had a nutrition packed shake (almond milk, protein powder, kale, blueberries and pear. 287 calories. I had one cup of beef stew loaded with veges for lunch that I made myself, little fat and low on salt. Wish me luck I can finish this day with a band friendly dinner and another 30 minute walk afterwards!

So things have been going pretty well. I am getting one or two 30 min walks in every day and sticking to the diet. I was down to 229 lbs. this morning, the first time I have been under 230 for months. I was feeling very positive. I headed for Walmart for a few groceries. As I was entering the store, sitting on a bench in the entry area was a 30 something woman who appeared to be having trouble breathing. She was extremely obese, likely over 450 lbs (I can reasonable make that guess because I had an aunt who weighed that much and was about the same size). As a nurse, I was concerned for her and I asked her if she was ok. Through her difficult breaths, she indicated she would be ok and she said "I'm waiting for an electric cart. I just walked in from my car." I was stunned and felt a fear I hadn't experienced before....I could be experiencing those same symptoms if I don't take care of myself. Funny how I don't think I was ever afraid of being overweight before. It didn't interfere much with the things I do, but did I only do the things I was able to do, not everything I could do? That is a thought I am going to give much attention to as I go through this journey.