Bandista

Another thread today made me think of this quote (nod to B-52 and CG both, in-house philosophers): "Try not. Do or do not...There is no try." -- YODA We are doing it! Yes, slow sometimes, whatever, but it is do. Or do not. There is no try.

This is great! Some one posted what things weigh a while back, a funny list. For some reason I latched on to the weight of a cinder block, 33 pounds. I've put one of those down and then some, but I'm still working on that second cinder block. So 66 pounds will be a celebration for me. Well, every day is a celebration, let's face it. So happy. Now for the next chunk.....

Hilarious! I used to wonder at times if I might be part Labrador Retriever, except of course for the retrieving part -- that's exercise, right? Lol. I am not a dog. But oh, the feelings. So many feelings -- and that's what I used food for, to tamp them right down. As soon as I sensed that whirring inside, I would start looking for food. And sometimes I would eat ahead of time because I knew an anxiety-provoking occasion was on the docket. I used to "prep" myself with a snack prior to a conference call. There's something about that phone and having to communicate in that way which really sets off anxiety for me. Or meetings. I usually work from home but when I have to see clients one-on-one or heaven forbid conduct a training session, etc., I would do both -- first the prepping with food and then after I would stop somewhere for a reward. This kind of emotional eating became like a set of parenthesis for me -- punctuation. Now I allow those feelings to come right up to the surface and guess what? They are not so bad. Actually most of them are kind of silly. Low self-esteem can certainly kick off some pretty immature responses -- "what if they don't like me" is really "what if they don't like my work." Now that I know what it is I can roll my eyes at myself and move forward in a new way. That tentacled mess in my head has unbraided and now when I feel those knots coming I try to take some time to really look at what's going on. The overwhelm I feel in trying to manage my daily life, our family, the land, my job, creative work, pets, etc. -- well, when I really look at it all I feel like I'm doing a great job. I am patting myself on the back now instead of undermining myself -- first by denying the feelings and then by inappropriate eating followed by the inevitable beating myself up over time. "I'm so fat." As a former Labrador Retriever, of course I ate for lots of other reasons, too, but I'd say anxiety is right at the top of my hit parade. Still -- eating from boredom, celebration -- pure love of food. I do still love food and I enjoy eating -- that's important to me. I'm a good cook and I like to be "in" food, preparing it, serving it, organizing the pantries, having dinner parties, etc. I didn't want to turn my back on food in a weird way and I'm glad that now I can still enjoy food but just in smaller amounts at appropriate intervals. Eating for the right reason, like it's time for a small meal, rather than eating for every reason possible. Much of my eating was "in for a penny, in for a pound," like I had to get it in because I knew I'd probably be putting myself on a severe diet soon. I'm very glad to not be on a diet. Sure, I have to think about it -- I am careful. But I was so restrictive before and was never able to sustain a program for long enough to lose the weight without regaining. The band is enabling me to do that and I'm so grateful. This is a wonderful thread -- I'm really enjoying reading every one's thoughtful insights into why we do what we do (or did what we did so we don't do it again).

You are AMAZING and truly INSPIRING!!! I love your posts and I am just so happy for you........really, really showing up for life in such a wonderful way.

Re: arthritis, the anesthesia was welcome pain relief for me and lasted a while....something to look forward to!

Congratulations new Bander and Banders to be -- exciting times! Way to go on all the walking and just keep letting Mr. Mom run the house for a while -- it's good for everybody. I filled my pain medication prescription just in case but I didn't need it -- for me the side effects from narcotic medicine are worse than the discomfort. But even without the pain meds I had constipation and wished I had addressed it sooner. It seems like this is not emphasized enough by our medical professionals pre-surgery.

Wow, a picture is worth a thousand words and 3D is even better. Great to get that message across to peers in such a visual way. I can't believe what people put into their bodies! Big Gulp? Good grief! Another great project would be the how many ingredients question. In London, McDonald's fries have three. In the US, McDonald's fries have......wait for it.......seventeen ingredients.

I'm so sorry for what you went through in your childhood. I also had an uncle who was very physical and inappropriate without crossing the line of true abuse -- tickling that was like torture, however, and unwanted attention. Now that I'm getting my shape back I am finding it difficult to receive comments graciously, even from those who love me however I am. I think it's about being shy and wanting to have my weight loss be private -- people who don't know about my band are noticing now that I've dropped quite a bit and I'm looking and feeling so much better, dressing more confidently in interesting clothes, a little makeup, etc. Wen people ask how much I've lost I simply don't answer but deflect with, "oh, I still feel like I have a ways to go" or some such. I always emphasize that I'm exercising a lot, which I am. And I was a dieter so long that even though I don't consider myself on a diet now that explains the smaller amounts I'm eating and the choices not to have certain things. One neighbor exclaimed she thinks I'm starving myself. Well, I'm not. And I just gently change the subject away from me. I'm thinking I'd like to take some dance classes -- that was always very self image affirming for me in the old days, a way to feel good in my body, empowered. I'm liking my body again and feeling connected -- when I gained so much I felt like it had betrayed me somehow but now that connection is back. I'm in my body and liking that it's healthy and happy, and sexy, too.

No peanut butter here, that's for sure. I'd get out my baby spoon and have at it. Agree that however well we are doing there's no sense in putting ourselves in harm's way.

I am up and down by two to three pounds constantly -- what I do is take a new low number and record that. Then up I'm and down around it for a while until a new low number appears. The fluctuations are just part of the game for me -- not an indicator of fat gained but rather inflammation. Some of us are inflammatory types, moving rings from finger to finger, arthritis, etc. That's what the time of month is about, too, inflammation.

I can't get over the whole return of the collarbone thing. Love that feeling!

Buona Notte! And when you're back in the States you'll have to check out the band Pink Martini for their fabulous version of "Una Notte A Napoli." They really ham it up and it's so much fun -- you will love it. Oh, wait, maybe I can attach here: starts off slow then off they go.....

Hi there, sending best wishes. It sounds to me like you are READY. For whatever reason, the timing wasn't right before but now you have the willingness to face the food issues straight-on and take control of your life and your health. No need to look back or beat yourself up -- you are showing up for yourself now and that's what's important. I benefited from a therapist. We broke down my particular triggers and now when I have an automatic reaction to lean on my old friend food to help get me through a stressful time or to "prep" me when I have to do something, or feeling I need a reward in the form of food, etc. -- all those old behaviors -- now I am able to stop that mind game right in its tracks. The band has given me willpower. The obvious things are, well, obvious -- like clearing out all the sugar from your household. Some people do a liquid diet for a few days or the Five Day Pouch Test (available on Google) to "reboot." I am sensitive to artificial sweeteners which tell the body food is coming -- look out for ways you may be getting sugar that is setting off a craving for more. Are you adjusted properly? Do you need to see your surgeon? Is there a nutritionist who could help you put together a plan? I'm so happy you're here on the forum as there is so much great information and support here. Best wishes to you as you navigate this time of change. You can do it! You deserve health and happiness, freedom from food jail. You went through the surgery and have your band waiting there to be put to use.

I've learned that I don't need much food -- I have tons of energy, no weakness or feelings of lacking nutrients, etc. That's what the fat reserves are for, right? I eat when I'm hungry and don't eat if I'm not. My life is so much simpler now! I still love food, just in very small amounts at appropriate intervals and only when I'm hungry. Not for fun or stress relief, nor am I kidding myself anymore that "I should eat."

Way to go! You've made it through the hardest part, those first three days. I was happy to lose on pre-op knowing that for the first time I was saying goodbye to weight that would never be coming back. Best wishes for smooth sailing ahead. You are choosing yourself and your healthy future -- that is a marvelous thing.

Congratulations! So happy for you. My only advice is that it's nice to have a journal to look back on later -- all the things you are looking forward to, the reasons for having the surgery, etc. I also watched every movie in my queue and walked around our driving circle hundreds of time in that first week. Best wishes for the exciting times ahead. I am six months out and can't really recall the incisional pain now -- and I had no idea I'd be feeling this happy. I was happy before but this joy and elation are new factors in my life. I'm out of food jail!

Hey there, congratulations both of you! Nice to have the surgery behind you and the beginning of a new chapter. I didn't do pain medication either, for the grogginess factor and also constipation. Pretty sure the walking is the secret to kicking the body into healing mode and shaking off the anesthesia, etc. I sure loved my Popsicles during this time -- and salty broth. Best wishes!

! ! ! What a fantastic trip ! ! !

I've been on here for almost a year reading post after post and what people seem to regret is not doing it sooner. There is such a feeling of recapturing one's life and enjoying things in a whole new way. I had my surgery last November and I am still so elated. It is very empowering to choose yourself and your health like this. I had not anticipated the kind of relief and joy I have now. Yes the weight loss is great, but more than that is the freedom from that gnawing appetite and all the brain chatter that went along with it.

Betcha a dollar you can ... Mine has security settings, too, but hey ... it's electronic ... there's always a workaround. PM me your make and model. You'll have to disconnect the phone, for sure, but also know many, many people are dropping their home phone lines now, so ... Yep, I sure do. After much adoo and many phone calls, I finally got my pulmo to work with the provider until they got mine set on auto, to only give me what I need. It is SO much better. I told her If they don't hurry up and get it done, I will just do it myself since I found a youtube video that shows me how". She replied "You shouldn't mess with your machine". I replied, "That is better than not wearing it at all". The data showed since my wt loss I had only stopped breathing three times an hour and the mask loss was 47% per night. I find since I have started using it again, I don't wake up with a headache and do feel less sleepy during the day.@@PdxMan @@shmily yippee!

The range of bowls at our house is quite something -- I used to fill a largish bowl for each of us with fish and rice, chili, whatever we were having for a meal. Then big salad, etc. Now I eat from the little side dishes we use for condiments and I use a baby spoon and cocktail fork for good measure. I have started using smaller bowls (not the condiment ones, lol) for the family -- phasing out the others which are just too large of a portion. People an always go back for more, and they most always do. That's the problem, the more, more, more. I love knowing how to stop now. And being a dainty eater!

Not looking for food or having to finish whatever it is I have are both signs for me -- my surgeon describes being satisfied with a tennis-ball sized portion for 4-5 hours. The portion part was there for me in the early days but not the duration. After a fill sometimes I don't feel different for five days or so then it settles in and I feel it. This last time I wondered if I was too tight so I've been monitoring carefully -- can I chew up and swallow that swordfish without a problem, chicken still okay, etc. I want to be sure I can still have dense protein. But I can't forget and eat fast, that's for sure.

Congratulations! Very exciting to choose yourself and your healthy future, yippee! I am six months out and sooooooo happy.

The first three days are the most difficult so just know that it won't be as hard for a full two or three week a liquid diet -- and also some surgeons don't even have patients do a ore-op at all. I had two weeks and started in early as I was so excited and needed to do something. Also now once in a while I go liquids for a day or two for that reboot -- thanks for the reminder as maybe I'll do that again as well. Good luck as you wait for approval -- thinking of you!

Nice! Love that feeling of once-tight clothing getting looser and looser. Makes it so real! Congratulations and here's to the healthy future you are making for yourself.