Johnny99

Dude... it's been 6 weeks for me with one fill and I also feel I could eat or drink anything, But I have lost over 30 lbs since I started the pre-op diet. You gotta make a committment and stick to it. Don't expect to lose weight if you continue with your old bad habits. I had to change my entire eating "weigh" of life. I decided on a 1200 calories a day diet and I am sticking to it. I use the Myfitness app to log all my food and it syncs with my fitbit. I also weigh myself everyday (which I should NOT do). We did not go through all this bull crap to not make this work! Make a plan that works for you and stick to it.

Happy Independence Day to all my American followers! Ah, another holiday brimming with awesome BBQs, cold beer and delectable desserts. A regular fat ass nightmare. And it's on a Thursday. Which means 4 days of ducking and dodging hot dogs, hamburgers, fries and ice cream. Not to mention Al. C. Hall. (That's alcohol for you new readers.) He's always the first to be invited to every party. After all, a party without Al is really more of a church meeting. I will have to be extra cautious this week. We can't have Johnny taking a dive off the food truck. (That's the fat ass version of the wagon.) Today's rant answers the "when did you know" question. I have touched on this in the past, but maybe you're ready for a clearer understanding. For years now, I have been asked "when did you first notice you were over weight"? It's on every medical history you fill out for any doctor and always asked by the over-active metabolism crowd. Here's my best answer. Had I the capacity of cognitive thinking, I would have noticed at age 6 months or so when mom had to move me in to the "chubby baby" size diapers. Unfortunately I was too distracted at the time by the creepy stuffed bear that kept staring at me and that horrendous mobile thing constantly twirling above my head playing the same song over and over again. I was too traumatized to realize I was busting out of my skinny diapers. If only I could have read the "New Chubby Baby Size" blurb on the diaper box. Who knows? Maybe I would have started on low cal Gerber's. In blissful denial, I moved into my early childhood. We all know I had to wear man size cub scout pants with three feet cut off the legs. And yes, we know I was further traumatized when my ass knocked over the stacked milk cartons in grammar school. I talked about those incidents in earlier posts. But there were other signs that my blissful denial refused to let me see. As I grew older (and wider), I used to try on shirts with the "HUSKY" tag on the sleeve. I always got mad when they took the that tag off. I thought it was a cool logo. Like the alligator or the swoosh. I could never fit in the shirts with the little penguin. I should have known then I had an issue. Another sign I should have picked up on was my inability to comfortably fit in the normal child desk provided to me by my school. Remember the desk with the attached chair with the top that hinged open forward? Every other kid had no problem lifting that lid and getting to their books and supplies. My expanding ass and belly prevented me from using this desk as designed. I had to carefully slide off the chair, open the lid and then carefully slide back in. In hindsight, I think I should have took the hint. There were other signs that I ignored along my pudgy path. One of the last glowing signs I remember came when I went to join the pee wee football league. I showed up at the designated time with all the proper paperwork and was ready to start my football career. Unfortunately, there was a weigh in and I failed. I was rejected by the pee wee football team because I was too "husky". WTF? How can a guy be too fat to play football? Bottom line is they were afraid I would smush the little kids when I jumped on the tackle pile. I ended up playing for a fat ass kid's league three towns over. Another hint missed. I didn't just wake up one day and discover I had an elephant size ass and a hippo's stomach. I've know since my bottle sucking days that I was well above average in the girth department. Obviously I should have started getting serious about weight loss then. I may have been able to avoid going to Uncle Vito's Big & Tall for my prom tuxedo. See ya soon. P.S My official Fitbit scale says I have dropped 35 pounds of blubber since April 9th. 50 more to go. Reprinted from my blog. Stop on by for a chuckle. http://thedeconstruc...y.blogspot.com/

I need Advil to play golf and doc said NO for now. He did give me a script for Celebrex which is working great.

Whew! It was truly a whirlwind weekend. Since last Thursday morning, I've crammed in 4-1/2 rounds of golf, 2 parties, 1 dinner in the city and Game 5 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. From a normal guy's perspective I would say this would be in the running for the ultimate weekend competition if there was such a thing. From a fat ass dieter's eye view, this was a weekend full of challenges and temptations. The Devil and his sinister sidekick Al C. Hall were lurking around every corner waiting to pull my into a downward spiral. But this morning I find myself sober, satiated and reinvigorated. But it was no cake walk! The Good - My eating choices for this four day fun binge were spot on! I took my Muscle Milk Light to the club and drank it over ice for breakfast. Yep, I'm slowly drinking this fake chocolate milk while watching 50 other guys load up on pancakes, omelettes, a full assortment of breakfast meats, home fries, pastry and danish and all kinds of toasted breads. Challenge, yes. But I beat the odds despite the wafting smell of crisp bacon. The lunches were more of the same. A full spread of cheeseburgers, hot dogs, brats and sausages were laid out in several different places. And let's not forget the chips, cookies and other deserts. And there was a giant trailer with free draft beer. I was in fat ass paradise and couldn't enjoy the show. I sparingly ate a chicken breast, a cup full of chicken salad and some watermelon slices. During the golf, I ate a few melted protein bars to keep my stomach from growling. At the parties and dinner downtown, I slowly feasted on small bites of salmon and sashimi, a slice of turkey and a few small shrimp, while my fellow diners were scoffing down famous Chicago steaks perfectly pink on the inside and charred to perfection on the outside. The Bad - I was expecting a cordial reunion with my old friend Al C. Hall. (That's alcohol for you new readers.) It didn't take long for old Al to show up to the party. I decided it was time to have a nip during our first round of golf. Since I was determined to stay away from beer, I had to use a little ingenuity at the half way house. Of course, I would stay away from all juices, sugary drinks and carbonated beverages. But if I started drinking straight vodka at 2 in the afternoon, I was guaranteed to be blotto by the back nine. So I invented a new cocktail. Vodka and Vitamin Water Orange. BRILLIANT! Vodka over ice and add the VW as needed. This helped me nurse the one drink while others were having several more. I was imbibing with my buddies but not falling all the way off the wagon. I had a couple more at the opening dinner party but stopped early due to my ride home. All in all, a good plan for a bad vice . The Ugly - I can honestly report to you that I won the weekend food battle. I looked the Lucifer of Lard straight in the eye and he blinked first. However, his evil counter part, The Vetis of Vodka eventually got the best of me. It started with a four hour rain delay between matches on Friday and ended with tumble down a few steps while excitedly leaving the hockey game. Since I was being chauffeured to the game and back to house afterwards, I didn't pay any attention to to the number of Geese I downed. I ended up killing the whole flock. Saturday dinner consisted of a bread stick, cottage cheese and a few bites of under cooked salmon. But I washed it down with a couple of Gibsons with devilishly delicious cocktail onions. A couple more at the game with soda and I was as pickled as the onions. The final straw was my pal's idea to have one last double before the bar closed for the last period. That's probably the one that made me miss that last step and hit the floor. I had two goals for the weekend. One of which was not to fall completely off the wagon. You may disagree, but I feel I held it in check pretty good. My other goal was to weigh the same today as I did last Thursday morning. And I do. Victory is mine. So get your scorecards out and give this one to Johnny. I am now refocused on good eating and no drinking for a few more weeks. I have another holiday weekend and another golf tournament in the next month to deal with. That means more trouble from you know who. Could a surprise visit from Al C. Hall be far behind? If he does rear his ugly head, I hope there are no stairs around. I'm off to get my first fill today from Dr. X! Talk soon! jt Reprinted from my blog. Please become a follower! We would love to have you! TheDeconstructionofJohnny.blogspot.com

Reprinted from my blog: TheDeconstructionofJohnny.blogspot.com Welcome back to my ever-growing throng of readers! It's great to see that so many folks have been loyally following my mission to fizzle my fat. I am more amazed every week when we get visitors from countries all over the world. I don't know what's more amazing, this Internet thing that I thought would never catch on, or the fact that so many different cultures could possibly embrace one fat ass's life long weight struggle. Whatever the case, I'm glad you're here. Especially, this week. I'm imminently facing my second dance with Devil. So get your pencils and scorecards ready. Here's the 4-1-1 on my second dalliance with my old nemesis, The Beelzabub of Blubber himself. I have been faithfully on the old wagon, shying away from most "regular people" food, adult beverages and other forms of MANtertainment since April 9. So here comes my first big challenge. Starting this evening, my guest hits town for our annual golf tournament. This will be my 20th consecutive year of participation and is always the first thing to go on my calender. Besides 3 days of awesome golf, two wonderful social functions are attached to this event. The next few days will be filled with with everything "real men" long for .... Golf, drinking, smoking, gambling, dirty jokes and funny body noises. Yep.... Even your tight ass husband will let loose and revel in this form of legal debauchery. He can't help it. It's a pack mentality. Part of our code. So you can see, the temptations will be coming at me from all angles. And just so we have no misunderstandings, I will be breaking my new rules and let loose a little bit. This has been planned and part of my year long goals. I need to be able to go to a function like this and not gain five pounds in three days. So immediate goal #1, be the same weight on Monday. That goal will be on the forefront of my mind as I say YES to a martini, NO to a hot dog, YES to Cuba Libre', NO to cheeseburger, YES to pinot noir and NO to a frosty sundae. I WILL have a couple of libations! I WON'T eat like my old self. That guy ain't here no more. Yes, I have had one battle with the beast previously. It's duly noted that I lost the day but I did manage to keep the score down. And let the record show that I LOST weight that week. I didn't fall off the wagon entirely, I just kinda hung on the side. So that's immediate goal # 2. Don't fall completely off the wagon. I look at this as being in training for my new life. It's not in my nature to hide away like a hermit. So if I am to return to the real world some day, I need to be ready. These types of events, outings and get togethers are preparing me for the future ... kinda like fat college. That's it for now. You need to check back early next week and find out who wins this battle. If my weight is the same on Monday as it is today I win! If not, it's another loss to the evil Prince of Plump. See ya! PS..... I'm down 33 1/2 pounds since April 9th. I get the first fill on Monday. YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON MY BLOG at: TheDeconstructionofJohnny.blogspot.com

I went for my first post op Dr. visit this week. It went pretty well. I say pretty well because I got busted for a little drinking and a little non-smashie food intake. But I was on an impromtu trip with the boys! What's a guy to do? Catch up on my blog: http://thedeconstructionofjohnny.blogspot.com/ New readers start at the begininng. I try and add a little levity to our weight loss journey through LB surgery.

Weds, June 12 Hello again loyal Bloggins, Johnny fans and fellow Bandsters! It's been about a week since we chatted so I thought I'd let you know how it's going on The World According to Johnny. I gotta say ... pretty damn good! It's been 4 weeks today since the capable Dr. X installed the anti-eating apparatus in my oh so blubbery mid-section. As advertised by the Doc and his staff, I feel completely healed and am suffering no side effects what-so-ever. Other than this strange hankerin' for a trash bag full of Fritos I can't seem to shake, life has settled in to my new normal. Yes, NEW normal. I have totally embraced my band and what it stands for. That is commitment. It is just so crystal clear to me that inserting a medical device inside your body is the last, desperate measure a fat person can take. And why take this drastic step if you are not going to change your life? Well, so far, I have changed my life. Dramatically. I have not yet had my band filled which means it's wide open. I think I could pretty much get anything down the ol' yapper that I wanted and not have a stuck episode. But just knowing "Bandy" is in there, keeps me on the straight and narrow. Yep. I've changed. Hopefully for ever. Although not required, I still start my day with the protein shake blended with a little ice. It's just like a milk shake and I like it! I have recently started adding a tablespoon of low sugar peanut butter to the chocolate flavored shakes and it's delish! So no more big breakfasts or even breakfasts that I thought were healthy for me. I'm sticking with these shakes whenever possible. Lunch has turned into a 240 calorie tuna snack lunch or a low fat soup. No more fast food, deli or 3 martini lunches for this fat ass!Dinner has consisted of ground up beef or turkey with a bit of flavoring, cooked veggies and some watermelon. And I'm good with it! It does help that wife wife L is a fine chef and makes even a mundane dish rival a nice dinner out. Add in my snacks of yogurt, sugar free puddin' and a night cap Fudgie bar, I'm feeling real satisfied. I am actually blown away that this is working. Am I losing weight? You betcha! 30 unsightly pounds of extra mass have evaporated from my roly poly body. That's 2 bowling balls of F-A-T! Let that sink in. Am I on target? You betcha! I was told to expect to lose 1.5 pounds a week after surgery. I'm exactly at that figure. If I can keep that pace up, I'll hit my 8th grade weight by October. Hey, there's another goal! Do I have any pain? Nope. Most importantly, can I play golf? Yep. 3 rounds last week alone. So all in all, I am right where I should be. On the path to success! As rosy as it all appears, there are a few bummers. I'm a party guy. As explained in detail in previous posts, I excel at eating, drinking and merrymaking. My history is legendary. And I if I could remember it, it would make quite a book. This No Fun Johnny is, well, no fun. I am making healthy decisions daily when comes to food and booze. That includes avoiding almost all situations that include the Devils temptresses. So far I have declined offers to at least 2 BBQs, 2 parties and a wedding. Yep. No fun at all. But this is the new normal. Am I embracing the No Fun Johnny? Nope. Check back soon! First band fill on Monday. Then we have to talk about the dreaded "W" word. Floow along on my blog: Thedeconstructionofjohnny.blogspot.com

My firat appointment was January 20. I got banded on May 15. 4-1/2 months of HOOP JUMPING and Dr. visits required by CIGNA insurance. I wrote about it in my blog: ThedeconstructionofJohnny.blogspot.com I cover it ALL