Kitt3000

I am glad (and not glad at the same time) to hear I’m not the only person dealing with this issue. I too was publically embarrassed by a nurse at my mandatory information session for being a “lightweight.” She didn’t tell anyone they were too big, too old or too sick to leave so they wouldn’t “waste their time,” just me.
Why are naturally thin people allowed to be happy and healthy, super obese people allowed to choose bariatric surgery and be happy and healthy, but the rest of us in the middle, with ONLY 80 - 100 pounds (or less) to lose are just supposed to suck it up? The more research I do and low-BMI success stories I read, the more confident and excited I am about my decision. My PCP, orthopedic surgeon and husband all support me and that’s enough. This is the first time I’ve felt hopeful in a long time. Be strong everyone… we deserve to be happy and healthy too!!!

I think that's so true Ginger Snaps. I think someone else also said that Americans and I think western society in general no longer recognizes what a normal weight looks like. It can make being overweight "comfortable" because you fit in with all that's around you. But you know that your health is suffering and that you're not participating in activities that you used to enjoy and it generally affects your life style. It's just not sustainable.
She said "Oh, there was no way you needed that surgery!" How funny complimenting how I look great and then telling me I didn't do it the right way.
Yes that is funny. Maybe sometimes people are trying to be nice in their own way not realizing that what they say may be hurtful or strange at the same time.

I get it a lot --- I was a relative lightweight (BMI 36) with sleep apnea and reflux. I actually had a lady at church yesterday how great I was looking and she asked me what I did. I usually tell people about the surgery when they ask and I did this time. She said "Oh, there was no way you needed that surgery!" How funny complimenting how I look great and then telling me I didn't do it the right way. Oh, and by the way, the apnea and reflux are gone -- not that anybody seems to ask about the health benefits.
I always reply with my standard answer "Thank you, but my doctor and insurance company agreed it was the best way for me to get to a healthy weight."
I think as a culture it is just so common to be overweight that few people know what a healthy weight looks like anymore. Just the other day someone told me that I didn't need to lose any more. As of this morning, I'm 9 pounds off of a BMI of 25 which is considered the top range of "normal". I could still lose another 25-30 and be considered a healthy weight. I'm thrilled with where I am now and I'm still losing at a pretty fast clip, so I'm just gonna see where I end up.

This is one reason I'm not telling people about my surgery. At the initial information class at the bariatric clinic, another person told me "You're not that big" I told her I was much heavier than I looked. For me, I just want to avoid the negative vibes. People have their own reasons for saying the things they do. Maybe they think they are giving me a complement when they say I don't look big enough for surgery. I don't care what their reason is, I don't want to hear it. This is my life and I am responsible for my health. This is the way I am going to get healthy and stay healthy for the rest of my life.

I was also at 250 lbs. At 5'3" that's at least 110 lbs overweight. I was called a "lightweight" at my initial preop classes. Also the admitting nurse doing my weight etc actually tried to talk me out of having the surgery saying I didn't have that much to loose. I had lost 40 lbs preop and still had 70 more to go. Funny how I was approved for surgery by my insurance and the surgeon and yet the nurse thought she knew better than everyone else. Some people just don't understand.

Surprisingly, I got that comment from the technician who did my pre-op ekg at the hospital. I told her "That's interesting. Maybe you should call the director of the bariatric clinic (same doctor who was my surgeon and who teaches bariatric and robotic surgery at the same hospital) and tell him you disagree with his diagnosis." That shut her up!

I am having the same problem. It feels nice to hear my family and friends say that they think I am beautiful the way I am but at the end of the day I am not healthy the way that I am and at the end of the day I want to have a family and kids and spend the next 60+ years with my fiancé. I am also struggling with what to say to people but I guess I will let me surgery and new healthy lifestyle speak for itself as I am having my surgery this Tuesday the 14th.

I'm blessed to have my weight equally distributed on my body. No place jumps at you out more than the other...It's a legit blob over here....
But at the end of the day I'm still 38, with hypertension, borderline high cholesterol, and borderline diabetic.
My mother has all full blown disease processes of all my borderlines, plus a pacemaker for afib.
My father has all the diseases except he's not obese, just unhealthy and and an amputee due to complications of his diabetes.
And people close to me know this (I recently told a close old friend)...The writing is on the wall...I'm on a one weigh ticket to destruction if I continue down this path (pun intended).
And the response I get from are :you ain't even big enough for the gastric bypass!!
My response in the moment and I've decided I'm keeping it: I've always dreamed of living to 100 and I won't get there like this. Not even close...
What do you guys say when people say you are not big enough or are undeserving of weight loss surgery in some other way?

I just wanted to add to this posting and wish everyone huge successes with their weight loss goals and surgeries. Mine is scheduled for November 4th. I have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
One thing imperative---whether you have mental illness or not, is to work with your psychologist (therapist) either at the clinic or whoever you see regularly and coordinate any medication changes with your psychiatrist or MD. They say as the weight comes off you will encounter issues with your self esteem, self doubts, anger, etc. as well as dealing with any friends/family who want to try to push you back to old habits.
I found out from my psychiatrist and my MD that all the medications I take are crushable (to powder form), and I can mix the powdered medication in my food or drink. Remember that a lot of the medications you can't stop cold-turkey (have to wean off them). So make sure to consult your Doctor!
Right now I'm struggling with a long-term friend who is trying to get me to cheat on my pre-op diet (later this month), saying I should go out to dinner and one day won't hurt. I think she's jealous, of all things.
This decision came hard, and I still struggle with it at times, but it is a move toward a longer and healthier life for me. Staying strong and stable!

Well, here I am thinking when I ought to be sleeping. I have been beating myself up all day because I had yet another week (ten in a row now) with no movement on the scale. What a revolting development this is!
Your post has kindly reminded me that I need to love and accept myself. Thanks

Often when we are trying to change a long standing behavior that no longer serves our Highest Good we are really hard on ourselves if we don't do it fast enough or "perfectly enough." We think that by giving ourselves a good stern lecture and punishing ourselves when we "mess up" we will be more likely to change.


You say things like "That's the last piece of candy I'll ever eat...I need to
exercise 10 hours today to make up for my messing up yesterday. I know better
I should do better. I must be an idiot. I don't deserve to succeed
for being so stupid. I'm disgusted with myself, etc."
This actually helps to perpetuate the "messed up" behavior instead
of diminishing it.
When you are struggling to change a behavior of which you
desperately want to be free (i.e. compulsive eating, chronic
care-taking, gossiping, smoking, gambling, drinking,
disorganization, etc), you need an emotional hug, not a beating.
When you love yourself through the rough moments your heart
softens, anxieties dissipate, and your struggle is transmuted into
acceptance and growth. You give yourself the space and freedom to
breathe and feel and be. It is from this place that you connect
with your authentic self; the Divine. It is from this place that you receive the inspiration and guidance and make manifest your grandest dreams!
Affirmations:
I am perfect in this moment!
I love myself unconditionally!
I say only kind and loving things to and about myself!
I always 'show up for me' when I am struggling to change...
AND
When I really 'show up for me' I no longer feel like I am "struggling"!
Live in Love!
Louisa

It has been a few tears since I joined a gym or walked 5 km. starting out after surgery with hernia with swimming. Upped my steps to 10,000 as many days as I could. Went for small workout at gym. I cannot do everything I want right now but hoping for weekly progress

I am 7 years post op. I had great success in the first 5 yrs. Over the past couple, I fell off the wagon and stopped exercising. I put quite a few of the pounds back on. This past spring, I got my arse back in gear and was making strides towards getting back to where I needed to be. Then on May 21, while playing softball, I tore 2 ligaments in my right ankle. Had surgery to repair those, tighten up all the ligaments and clean out all the debris from a lifetime of bad ankles due to sports. I am just now cleared to go back to regular duty in my department. But, I have already started back at working out and exercising more again.
I consider my Band to be a success. The failure was me due to a horrible divorce and custody issues that I allowed to get me off track. I will get back to where I was again.
The bad news is that it looks like I will have to have same surgery soon on my left ankle to tighten up ligaments and clean out debris. I will have my work cut out for me. But, I know what to expect and what I can and can't do this time.

I have only one huge regret....I wish I had jumped on the Band-Wagon 5 years earlier. I am down almost 90 lbs and couldn't be happier. Don't let the negative comments influence your decision. if you are ready for WLS and mentally prepared for the challenge...do it now!

Wow! How lovely to hear such awesome stories! Well done to you all. What an inspiration you all are
I feel so thrilled with my decision to get my band 2 weeks ago! I call it my belly bangle! Lol
I can only hope I have the same success as you all.
Keep it up and keep the success stories coming!

I'm only 4 days post op. And I'm so happy excited and optimistic. I have no swolen cankles at the end of the day. I'm. Down 8 lbs. I'm not loving this liquid stage but I want my stomach to heal . I don't want slime or bp or any of the other horrors these posts are riddled with. I've struck out at everythg else. I so want this to work. Trying to stay dehydrated taking my Vitamins trying to get as much Protein in as possible. Keep doing what u r doing. we will write our own stories and embrace the band. I want to work with it not against it. Good luck!!

I was very happy to see a positive post too. I just mentioned to my husband that it seems all the posts on here are negative and it's disheartening. I went for my one week follow up today and a down 14 pounds since my one week prior to surgery visit. Thank you for making some positive posts that show this was worth it. I am so happy to see that people are pleased with their choice

It is so great to come on here and see positive comments about the band.. I am so sick and tired of reading all of the bull crap on here about how bad the band is and how Doctors are no longer doing bands.. blah, blah, blah... My surgery is better than yours..blah blah.. I don't care what type of surgery anyone has.. go with it, shut up about other people and take care of yourself. I decided to have the lapband after struggling with my weight for years and not getting any younger. My diabetes was getting worse, my cholesterol was high, my blood pressure was high and I could hardly make it from the parking lot to the store much less shop. walking in a mall was painful. I love my new life , no diabetes, no cholesterol, blood pressure normal. I have had no complications or problems with my band.. so we all need to stay positive no matter what.

I'm 7 months post op and so far lost 76 lbs. I'm 20 lbs away from my goal. Very happy I made this decision.

These are great posts! I need to read them time and time again We are the marathon people ( never used that phrase for me before). Here day and month and years later. Not perfect but healthy and happy and pleased with myself and weight almost everyday. I shall try to avoid negativity in posts....they don't help my day. These do ....so thanks!

I was recently banded on Oct 3rd 2014. I am still new to this but I can tell so far I absolutely love my band.

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE this post and it's so good to see all the happy happy folks posting/sharing their stories. I too LOVE LOVE my band and would do it again in a heart beat. down 72lbs.. can sit on a 16hr transatlantic flight and remain comfortable. can go out and actually drink once in a while and not cry when the scale goes up accordingly.
this last year has been amazing i'm 30lbs short of my first goal and i just know by this time next year i'll have conquered that and moved on.
so who here is going to dress up for Halloween? for the first time in years i'm actually considering it

Hi Wendy,
I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone.
I have been my biggest obstacle . What I mean is, I was so mentally programmed into eating the old way, that I really fought with the band. I was so stuck mentally into telling it what I thought I needed, instead of listening. I've caused myself much mental angst, that alone could have been part of the band feeling tight. Most of my over eating pre band was due to trying to stuff my feelings, feeling anxious? Eat, sad? Eat, angry?, eat, happy? Eat, bored? Eat.
My mental habits didn't change. I've recently had an aha! Moment, but, it's taken 1 yr and 6 mo, to realize one simple thing. Listen to the band tell me what it wants and needs. Not my head.
I hope you find not only your green zone, but your own aha moment as well.
Hugs!

For a few of us, our moms were children of the Great Depression, food= love.
Cut her some slack, take a silicon ice cube tray to dinner with you, or a muffin pan. Tell her it's the best Soup ever and you would love to have some to eat as your new tummy will allow. I bet she will be happy to help you freeze up individual meals you can thaw out/ microwave on those late nights home from work.

Once I slowed down, I noticed how fast my spouse ate. I think part of my speed eating prior to banding, was to finish as quickly as he did. Since being banded, I actually bought a minute timer hour glass to keep turning over between bites. It's been fun and funny. We joke and laugh about it- but he is eating less now that his brain is making the time connection!