gowalking

You know you're fabulous, right? Oh how I love these before and after pics. It's not just the weight loss, but the smile on your face, the haircut, the makeup...all of it. How wonderful to see in all of us, the blossoming that comes from being comfortable in our own skin. Congrats.

A thousand times yes.
I didn't go looking for anyone who knew about bariatric surgery. I selected someone who specializes in eating disorders and body image problems. The same mental processes behind anorexia typically are behind binge/emotional eating, it's just a different reaction to them.
The reasons why are as different as the people themselves. For me, I have several things that intersect to result in my obesity. First, I have a PTSD-type reaction to vegetables because my father repeatedly pinned me down and force-fed them to me as a child. So I don't eat veggies or salads or anything like that, and the reaction extends to foods that are not in my comfort zone. There's also some emotional neglect that has resulted in my using food to self-soothe and I have a hard time with self-discipline. It's almost always about more than just the food. A good therapist is going to help you dig down and identify the root causes of the issues and then help you develop the skills and coping mechanisms to deal with it.
I can't recommend therapy highly enough. Sometimes it's challenging to find a therapist with the right fit, but it's worth it.

You know you're fabulous, right? Oh how I love these before and after pics. It's not just the weight loss, but the smile on your face, the haircut, the makeup...all of it. How wonderful to see in all of us, the blossoming that comes from being comfortable in our own skin. Congrats.

A senior tour sounds really good. I bet you would meet lots of nice women on it. That's the good thing about us widows...we are much better than men in reaching out and socializing even when we're on our own.
The men just remarry.

Doin' a happy dance for ya kiddo!!

This.

It's very common. Many of us have been large or a long time that it has become part of our perceived identity. I still make a comment along te lines of "a big guy like me" and get funny looks from people that don't know what I looked like before. It takes a long time to make the adjustment; not only in our minds but in the minds of others. Their mental image of you hasn't caught up with the reality of it yet.
On the flip side of it, in more rare cases, there are some that develop eating disorders. There was a Soup sandwich of a person on here a while ago that went crazy with the not eating and was reduced to skin and bones. Those are the ones that should have probably been better vetted or had more intense therapy before being approved.
In your situation, just give them time. Smile and laugh it off and just ignore them.

I too, rarely respond to posts anymore. I'm too far out from newbies and I let others take the lead on questions posed. What I do try to do is give hope to those who feel hopeless. If I can accomplish that, it's enough. All I know is when I read old posts now and again, I get sad because so many of the people who were here when I started and even during my weight loss journey are simply gone now.
I can't help but wonder where they are as they were so important to me as I was going through everything. I hope they are all well and happy and have just moved on...but there was a time when I had really good virtual friends here and not many are left now...
Sorry for the sad post...

Speaking of vacations...here's my itinerary (courtesy of my sister the travel agent in training..lol) for our Scandinavia trip of a lifetime we're taking this spring. Couldn't have even dreamt of this before WLS.
Arrive in Amsterdam 5/18 am. 5/19 – cruise departs Amsterdam at 5pm 5/20 – at sea 5/21 – Oslo, Norway 5/22 & 23 – Copenhagen, Denmark 5/24 – Warnemunde, Germany (port town w/ access to Berlin) 5/25 – at sea 5/26 – Helsinki, Finland 5/27, 28 & 29 – St. Petersburg, Russia 5/30 – Tallinn, Estonia 5/31 & 6/1 – Stockholm, Sweden 6/2 – Reykjavik, Iceland 6/3 – Depart 10:30am for home.

oh boy do I need a back on track discussion...15 lbs. Lisa... 15 lbs. I don't fit into some of my clothes... If you do after Thanksgiving, I might be available. This Saturday we're heading to Lincoln Center for an evening of La Boheme.

I too, rarely respond to posts anymore. I'm too far out from newbies and I let others take the lead on questions posed. What I do try to do is give hope to those who feel hopeless. If I can accomplish that, it's enough. All I know is when I read old posts now and again, I get sad because so many of the people who were here when I started and even during my weight loss journey are simply gone now.
I can't help but wonder where they are as they were so important to me as I was going through everything. I hope they are all well and happy and have just moved on...but there was a time when I had really good virtual friends here and not many are left now...
Sorry for the sad post...

It's people who know/knew us as heavy who make comments obviously and who say we are too thin. Hang in there..it will stop. I'm almost four years out and had the same thing to the extreme. I was out on disability for two months and then out again shortly thereafter also due to medical issues. By the time I got back to the office on a regular basis, lots of folks didn't recognize me at all. Really. They only knew who I was when I started to talk. It was very disturbing to say the least. Fast forward a couple of years, and no one remembers me when I was heavy. No one comments anymore, and everyone is used to me now. It will happen to you as well...just give it time.

Just a tool. You must do the work. Banded July 2011. Lost 310 pounds. My doctors said I had lost too much and needed to gain a little weight.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Help keep us "newbies" motivated as we navigate through all of the pre-op requirements. What can you do now that you couldn't do before?
You've read about some of the physical things people can do that they couldn't before. Let me tell you about the other stuff. How about being able to look people in the eye knowing there is nothing they can comment on or make a face at that they might have before. How about feeling comfortable enough to talk to people, or go on a date, or assert yourself, or apply for a job you may not have before. How about feeling normal or even good about how you look. How about not worrying about what others are thinking, how about seeing something in the window of a store and knowing you can go in there and try it on. How about just the fact that you are even in the mindset to be looking at all at something in the window because you want to be noticed...and not for the wrong reason.
Shall I go on? Yes...the physical stuff is wonderful. I'd be one to know as I once was unable to walk more than a few steps before having to sit again. But along with being able to move better, or fit somewhere better...how about feeling like you fit into this world and not just into a seat.
I feel blessed every day since having my surgery because I checked out of life for a long time and am doing everything I want and hope that I can make up for the years I just existed.
Hope that's enough motivation for the newbies. If not, I have a list a mile long. Welcome to the forum!

not hot Julie. on the cool side actually....50's most likely...occasional 60s but we're not counting on it. Not bad weather for touring. We took this trip over some of the others because the other itineraries didn't have all the stops we were looking for. sis and I think they threw in Stockholm and Oslo to get people to book who are on the fence due to the earlier time period. we know that July and August is better weather...but it's also more expensive...and more important, not the itinerary we wanted.

Thanks Julie. I've taken many cruises but most have been in the Caribbean so this is quite different for me. We're taking Celebrity so that is also new for me. I've mostly done Norwegian and Holland America.
Told my manager today about needing two weeks off. All she wanted to know was if I had coverage and I told her I was working on it...

Speaking of vacations...here's my itinerary (courtesy of my sister the travel agent in training..lol) for our Scandinavia trip of a lifetime we're taking this spring. Couldn't have even dreamt of this before WLS.
Arrive in Amsterdam 5/18 am. 5/19 – cruise departs Amsterdam at 5pm 5/20 – at sea 5/21 – Oslo, Norway 5/22 & 23 – Copenhagen, Denmark 5/24 – Warnemunde, Germany (port town w/ access to Berlin) 5/25 – at sea 5/26 – Helsinki, Finland 5/27, 28 & 29 – St. Petersburg, Russia 5/30 – Tallinn, Estonia 5/31 & 6/1 – Stockholm, Sweden 6/2 – Reykjavik, Iceland 6/3 – Depart 10:30am for home.

Thank you for your post. So glad you checked in with us and updated us on what's going on. Every day without any fanfare or kudos, people do for each other out of love and respect and that's what I've gotten out of your post. Obviously mom did something right to have raised such a wonderful daughter who can manage both mom's care and not falter in managing her own life.

Thank you for your post. So glad you checked in with us and updated us on what's going on. Every day without any fanfare or kudos, people do for each other out of love and respect and that's what I've gotten out of your post. Obviously mom did something right to have raised such a wonderful daughter who can manage both mom's care and not falter in managing her own life.

So. As I approach my 10 year bandiversary. I am happy to be in a calm warm place with dear friends. Sometimes... that is all I need and want.happy and healthy. Glad to be in Hawaii

Thank you for your post. So glad you checked in with us and updated us on what's going on. Every day without any fanfare or kudos, people do for each other out of love and respect and that's what I've gotten out of your post. Obviously mom did something right to have raised such a wonderful daughter who can manage both mom's care and not falter in managing her own life.

Thank you for your post. So glad you checked in with us and updated us on what's going on. Every day without any fanfare or kudos, people do for each other out of love and respect and that's what I've gotten out of your post. Obviously mom did something right to have raised such a wonderful daughter who can manage both mom's care and not falter in managing her own life.

Instead of finding a woman who likes cats, I'm just going to get a female cat. At least I'm not terrified to approach a cat.

Ah...Alfred, Alfred, Alfred...
You just asked the $64,000 question. (that is a reference to an old quiz show BTW)
I'm almost four years out from surgery and have been at or near goal for two and a half years. I still have to be mindful not to self sabotage. I have had to find other ways to cope with stress, anger, boredom, fear, etc. While I don't recommend this to everyone, I needed to get professional guidance to help me find these other coping mechanisms.
I'll suggest staying on this site for support. Going to bariatric support groups, reading books about how other addicts deal with their addiction (and yes..I do believe most of us are food addicts)
All I can say on a positive note is that the longer we are 'normal', the more routine it gets. But..and this is a big but..the temptation is always there and many vets like me have good days and bad days. What I do is stop the slide before it becomes unmanageable. That, I think, is the difference this time. The tool we have been given, allows us to reset before we get too far.
So..good luck, keep us posted and come here as often as possible for help and support.

Hurrah!!!
But don't think things can't change if you don't stay vigilant.
Just read here for a while and you will see plenty of whoopsies.
A bad month and things go south. I'm guessing it's everyday for us. Just keep trying is my motto. Everyday. Most are good
Some are not