gowalking

What Kindle and Ann said! I agree completely that as a pre-op, you are worried about everything because this is truly a new way of life for you. Relax...follow your doctor's instructions to the letter, and enjoy and reap the benefits of your surgery. As a veteran of WLS, I can't say enough how much better the quality of my life is now and how that takes precedence over anything I put in my mouth. Now it's true...like Kindle, I went into therapy to work on my food issues...the band was not enough to deal with the root of my issues as overeating is/was a symptom. I can't stress enough how the emotional part of the journey is just as important as the physical. Every time I see my reflection in the mirror, or take a step without pain, or squat down to play with my grandson, or make love, or plan a vacation, or buckle the seatbelt on a plane, I say a prayer of thanks for the gift of this wonderful tool I have that lets me lead the kind of life I was desperate for when I was obese and immobile. Congrats on your upcoming surgery. Don't sweat it...don't worry about every little thing, and enjoy the ride!

I watched two episodes on Wednesday and it reminded me why I don't usually watch this show. It's great to love yourself no matter what but when I saw Whitley on the ski slope starting to lose her balance and heading towards a face plant, I felt her pain...and embarrasment afterwards. That was the kind of thing I thought would finally be the straw that broke the camel's back and she would finally do something serious about her excess weight. Even fainting and going to the ER might not do it...but being so frightenend because she couldn't control herself falling was the kind of thing that would make me know that I had come to the end of my rope. But no...even though she cried when talking about the incident, she still managed to rationalize not doing anything to seriously change up her situation. I can only imagine how folks without weight issues would watch this and presume that all overweight people are living in the land of denial like Whitney is. I wish this show would go away or that she would admit that she needs to take herself in hand and not just say hollow words that you know she doesn't mean or believe in. Ok..small rant over. Got it off my chest and now I feel better.

I've been wondering where Debbie is. She always posted and has been very quiet lately. I'm just hoping she's busy with other things...but I don't like that she just dropped off the forum. Anyone hear from her? Liz

Like anything else, dating has its ups and downs. I didn't date after my second marriage ended in 2003. I focused on my kids, my job, my friends. Then I got seriously overweight and over time, had mobility issues. I actually started dating again about two years ago and was in a relationship for nearly a year. When it was good, it was really good, but when it ended, it was very hard. What I have learned this time around, is that I don't have to divulge my WLS or my former size unless I feel like it. At my age, the loose skin is not all that terrible and most guys in their 50s and 60s are so happy to have the possibility of an intimate relationship that they are not holding out for a taught lean 20 something. The challenge is finding someone who I can connect with on an intellectual level and with similar interests to mine. I don't mean to sound stuck up but I prefer walking through a museum rather than walking the beach. Unless that beach happens to be on an island in the Pacific of course...

Just think of it as a lesson learned Sharon. I bet you don't do that again...

I went from an 8 1/2 wide to a 7 regular. Had to change out my shoes twice because I couldn't imagine losing a whole size and a half.

I love how my collarbones show now and how narrow I think I look shoulder to shoulder.

Just an update friends. It was a wonderful trip. I was 127 lbs. the morning of the cruise and 129.2 this morning. Just a smidge over two pounds gained over the trip. I'll take it. Here's the real success story though..a happy grandma enjoying and interacting with the grandchildren. My granddaughter likely remembers the old me, but she simply reacts to the woman I am now. The baby, if I'm lucky, will only know the grandma he is familiar with now.

I know Crystal Run well. Used to live in Blooming Grove. Had my surgery in NYC though as I live there now.

Julie...Sharpie. Hang in there ladies. Some days are harder than others. I know...today would have been our 39th wedding anniversary. He's gone longer than we were married but I never forget this day...nor does my sister, bless her.

As many of you know, I'm 3 1/2 years out from surgery. I've been in maintenance for about two years now. On Sunday, I'm going on a cruise with four generations of my family from my dad who is in his 80s to my grandson who is 14 months old. My dad has COPD, my mom is in a wheelchair. My sister is obese. They're involvement with chasing him around will be minimal. I am normal sized, mobile and healthy. I expect to be all over that ship with my grandson who has taken to walking like a duck to Water. I still remember one cruise I took about six months before the surgery where I was in so much pain, I was crying by the time I made it from my room to the dining room. I couldn't get off the ship onto the tender because I couldn't balance myself. I never ever ever want to go back to those dark days. Everytime I want an extra bite of something, or just to eat something that is not a good choice, I remember how those days felt. Usually, that's all I need as long as my band is filled properly. So...today I write this and for all vets and newbies, just know that the weight loss is just a number. The important thing is to live life as it's supposed to be lived...and not sit on the sidelines because you can't do what you want because your body won't let you. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. I'm packing tonight and can't wait to sail away!

Oh yeah...this was nothing and I'm already moving on. What hurts are the ones you connect with and it doesn't work out. This guy was a couple of nice conversations and no further investment. More important is what I got out of it...I know I don't feel obligated in any way to disclose my weight loss surgery. That's what really matters. Liz

Hi Pam...he turned out to be not a keeper. He expected dinner would lead to something else and when I didn't offer, he decided to move on. Gotta kiss alot of frogs.....

A baby carriage. They call it a pram in the UK.

I was banded almost 3 1/2 years ago. I'm still cold. I have a heater in my office even though it's 'contraband'. I just bought a fur lined raincoat for next winter. Seriously. I wear a wetsuit in the pool at my Y because the Water is too cold for me. I wear flannel PJs and socks to bed in the winter...and still use a heavy comforter. It is what it is. Better to be cold than unhealthy.

oh, it's real early yet Pam. will have to wait and see. You need a thick skin to date. I'm still working on it.

After staying away from dating for many many years due to obesity and mobility issues, I started dating again about two years ago. I went out with a few men....and even had a steady beau for about nine months. We recently ended our relationship and I'm 'back on the market' again. I have been out with one guy a couple of times now and I think we will continue to date. We went for dinner last night and I realized when I was looking at the menu, that I was going to approach this differently than I had in the past. With my surgery nearly 3 1/2 years ago, the scars have faded, the lapband port has been moved under my abdominal muscle so it no longer sticks out, and I alway pay attention to the signs that tell me to slow down and chew better. So I asked my date if he was OK with sharing as I was a light eater. He was fine with it...we still ordered too much..lol, and I still had leftovers. At the end of the meal, I explained, though I didn't have to, that I have inflammatory disease (which I do) and that I've had both hips replaced. As such, I told him I need to be vigilant regarding my size and the smaller I am, the better as the less weight on the joints, the better. After complimenting me on lovely hips, replaced or not, he started to tell me how he felt good at 175 and was trying to lose another 15 or so lbs. to get there. I understood that he was telling me that he knows what weight is good for him and knows why I do the same. More importantly, I did not feel any need to bring up my WLS. Not last night...and possibly not for a long time, if ever. I'm fairly certain this is what people who have normal relationships with food feel like. They know the weight that works best for them, and do what they need to in order to stay around that size. I also know that if this relationship continues and we become physically closer, I don't have to tell him anymore than I have already shared. To me, this tells me that I am more than my weight loss surgery and journey and that I am one more step closer to normal and not the former fat girl who is 'passing' as slender. This is a big mind shift for me as I embrace the current me more and more and leave the fat girl in my past. I'll never forget...because forgetting means risking all I have gained. But to put it behind me is a really good thing. Oh, and for the loose skin issue...I'm 57 and have had children. Between those two things, some loose skin is not a deal breaker. I found that out with the last boyfriend. He had no issues with my body and I realized most men who are around my age are just so happy to be intimate, that they don't care, and are not looking for perfection anyway. Just something for you folks with loose skin issues to think about.

I went last year along with Lisa..my co-leader from the face to face support group we run. Alex was supposed to attend but had a last minute conflict. You can check with him if he's going this year. I'm not but Lisa and her husband I think are going again. You don't have to stay overnight...you can buy a one day ticket.

Just spotted this thread. Joe...we all have our 'dunes'. When I had my WLS back in January of 2013, I was barely able to walk. I had a cane and was close to being in a wheelchair because my hips and knees were so bad. Now..I did eventually have hip replacement surgery, but without the weight loss, it would not have worked. See the attached picture of me from last summer. I got my life back because I was able to be normal sized. I also though I would be the one person it wouldn't work for. It will work for you as long as you follow the rules. You have to follow the rules Joe. If you do, you will succeed. Good luck friend.

Here's a city-centric one. People on their phones talking or texting at the top of the staircase heading into the subway so they don't lose service and thusly, their connection. So...I have to get around you?? Why must you block the stairs?? Either move away, or call them back when you get to your destination. Sheesh....

I'm three and a half years post WLS and down 140 lbs. One year after surgery I was down 100 lbs. and couldn't recognize myself. I am not suggesting you need to, but I went into therapy. Two years later, I can say that I have been able to reconcile the new me with the old me. This is a process and it takes time for your head to catch up with your body. Sometimes we need help from a professional and sometimes we can do it on our own. The suggestions above are good ones. Oh, and it's very obvious from your picture that there is quite a difference. I also attached one of my before and after shots. I still look at them from time to time. Good luck. You are doing great.

Send Alex a PM. He can help you with technical issues.

I lost 100 lbs. and had to go see a therapist because I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. I was in therapy for two years. Not everyone needs professional help and not everyone has issues with body changes but lots of us do so good for you for thinking about this now.

Good to hear from you Bandista. I've seen so many of my PB friends move on and while it's nice to see new people post, I miss the ones I conversed with for these last few years. I hope that all of them are living happily ever after.

I'm in the Fort Lauderdale area.