evlyn1971

I feel for you as many of us feel or have felt that same way. Does your insurance carrier not cover the procedure at all or are they not covering it for you? If it is specific to you, then I would find out the reasons why.
My insurance covers just not with the plan we have.
You know, I have been overweight since I was in my 20s but I never felt that I was, or so I thought. When I would go places I would hold my head up high and say "if people don't like the way I look they don't have to look" . Twenty yrs went by and I pretty much was the same weight the whole time. Last yr I was looking at some pics of me and realized that in all of them I was doing something silly, even my wedding pics. Why did I do that ? I thought about it and realized I always acted like a silly clown so people would laugh. I think I did that so at least I felt like they were laughing with me not at me. If I was the life of the party people would like me and not notice I was fat.

Thank you all!!!!!
I feel much better today.
I have spent the last couple nights reading threads on this site and it really helped.
Had a talk with my husband ( I scared him when I went on my rant) he is standing behind me 100%.
? Is it normal for the spouses to worry you are going to get skinny and leave them. Hubby says he knows it is stupid put it is a small fear he has. We have been together 20yrs I am not going anywhere.

Hello everyone, just an update! I did not get the financing for the Lapland. It was a real bad time for me.... I pretty much gave up on everything and wished the world would just stop and let me off.
I am happy to say that I didn't give up, I started over and have lost 34lbs and am one doctors visit away from being taken off my diabetic medication.
It is hard and I slip and eat a bowl of Ice cream but then I pull up my big girl panties and keep plugging along.
I want to thank everyone here for teaching me some valuable things. I now know I failed those diets they didn't fail me, I don't look at the way I eat now as a diet but as a lifestyle change, 'I can eat whatever I want I just choose not to eat some things today'.
I also learned that I am not alone in my struggles everyone here has been where I was and survived and so can I.
Don't get me wrong it is still a struggle everyday and some days I fall and land on my ass and don't get up right away, but I do always get up eventually.
I am so proud of all of you for your progress and/or just for trying. You took me in and helped me out when I needed it the most. I didn't get my band but I did get my help from all of you.
I am on myfitnesspal as evlyn1971 come join me, you can encourage me and I can encourage you.
Thank you
Evelyn

Okay.....so.... Hopefully this will make sense as I am so mad/sad I can't think.
Or rather my weight is all I can think about.
I want to go to the doctors and not hear " you need to loose weight" or "because you are overweight" or "this happens to bigger girls".
It seems to me that every time I go to the doctors it is something new, that can be directly linked to my weight. This isn't to say that I want a new ailment I just want to go once and not hear these things . I left my obgyn crying ( I waited till I was in the parking lot) and cried all the way home.
What the hell have I done to my body, why have I let myself get this big. What is wrong with me, I can't even do overweight right. Most overweight girls I know have big boobs or pretty faces. I have neither. Oh and add to that my hair is so thin you can see my scalp I will be bald soon.
I have tried talking to my husband, bless his soul, but I cry and then I get angry because I know this is all my fault. He tries to be supportive he says "he loves me just the way I am" or " it's ok honey everyone thinks you are special". Then I hear him tell my son ( he's 24) " your mom is having some sort of mid life crisis" ........ Grrrrr he doesn't get it.
I have been eating salads and chicken and fish, watching my portions, and drinking so much Water I am surprised I don't float. I get on the scale at the doctors and have gained 2.5 lbs. which makes me look like a jackass because I just excitedly told him about being so good with my food.< /p>
I know people here will think " go to therapy girl". Been there done that my therapist thinks these emotions are normal for someone "who is overweight" and that I need to recognize the problem and work on it. My pcp and my therapist want me to get wls, my insurance plan will not cover it. I have applied for care credit and am waiting patiently..... NOT.
WOW I feel a little better.
Love me hate me, it is what it is!!!!!
Thank you

Hello everyone, just an update! I did not get the financing for the Lapland. It was a real bad time for me.... I pretty much gave up on everything and wished the world would just stop and let me off.
I am happy to say that I didn't give up, I started over and have lost 34lbs and am one doctors visit away from being taken off my diabetic medication.
It is hard and I slip and eat a bowl of Ice cream but then I pull up my big girl panties and keep plugging along.
I want to thank everyone here for teaching me some valuable things. I now know I failed those diets they didn't fail me, I don't look at the way I eat now as a diet but as a lifestyle change, 'I can eat whatever I want I just choose not to eat some things today'.
I also learned that I am not alone in my struggles everyone here has been where I was and survived and so can I.
Don't get me wrong it is still a struggle everyday and some days I fall and land on my ass and don't get up right away, but I do always get up eventually.
I am so proud of all of you for your progress and/or just for trying. You took me in and helped me out when I needed it the most. I didn't get my band but I did get my help from all of you.
I am on myfitnesspal as evlyn1971 come join me, you can encourage me and I can encourage you.
Thank you
Evelyn

Thank you all!!!!!
I feel much better today.
I have spent the last couple nights reading threads on this site and it really helped.
Had a talk with my husband ( I scared him when I went on my rant) he is standing behind me 100%.
? Is it normal for the spouses to worry you are going to get skinny and leave them. Hubby says he knows it is stupid put it is a small fear he has. We have been together 20yrs I am not going anywhere.

I feel for you as many of us feel or have felt that same way. Does your insurance carrier not cover the procedure at all or are they not covering it for you? If it is specific to you, then I would find out the reasons why.
My insurance covers just not with the plan we have.
You know, I have been overweight since I was in my 20s but I never felt that I was, or so I thought. When I would go places I would hold my head up high and say "if people don't like the way I look they don't have to look" . Twenty yrs went by and I pretty much was the same weight the whole time. Last yr I was looking at some pics of me and realized that in all of them I was doing something silly, even my wedding pics. Why did I do that ? I thought about it and realized I always acted like a silly clown so people would laugh. I think I did that so at least I felt like they were laughing with me not at me. If I was the life of the party people would like me and not notice I was fat.

I just saw those combo packs at my local Walmart, I don't care for fruit in my cottage cheese so I didn't grab any. I like chives or Cajun seasoning in mine.
Try Walmart with the regular cottage cheese.

I actually had one if these mine folded up to about 12 inches wide and maybe 5 foot tall

Really........bullying........ Come on!!!
I just read this whole thread and " my opinion " is that there wasn't any bullying just a few people trying to stir things up, because they didn't like what they heard.
It's to bad that giving your opinion and advise makes you a "know it all" or a bully.
Your allowed to have your opinion just as everyone here. That is why this is an open forum.

Really........bullying........ Come on!!!
I just read this whole thread and " my opinion " is that there wasn't any bullying just a few people trying to stir things up, because they didn't like what they heard.
It's to bad that giving your opinion and advise makes you a "know it all" or a bully.
Your allowed to have your opinion just as everyone here. That is why this is an open forum.

I am do excited by this thread. I just purchased couch to 5k for my I pod. I haven't been banded yet or even have a date but I figured it doesn't hurt to start getting prepared.

My new yr goal are:
Get financing for lap band.
Start couch to 5k.
Eat smaller portions, i eat healthy now but still eat a little to much. To much of anything, even salad, is to much.
Start the test of my life.

My new yr goal are:
Get financing for lap band.
Start couch to 5k.
Eat smaller portions, i eat healthy now but still eat a little to much. To much of anything, even salad, is to much.
Start the test of my life.

Thank you all!!!!!
I feel much better today.
I have spent the last couple nights reading threads on this site and it really helped.
Had a talk with my husband ( I scared him when I went on my rant) he is standing behind me 100%.
? Is it normal for the spouses to worry you are going to get skinny and leave them. Hubby says he knows it is stupid put it is a small fear he has. We have been together 20yrs I am not going anywhere.

Thank you all!!!!!
I feel much better today.
I have spent the last couple nights reading threads on this site and it really helped.
Had a talk with my husband ( I scared him when I went on my rant) he is standing behind me 100%.
? Is it normal for the spouses to worry you are going to get skinny and leave them. Hubby says he knows it is stupid put it is a small fear he has. We have been together 20yrs I am not going anywhere.

I feel for you as many of us feel or have felt that same way. Does your insurance carrier not cover the procedure at all or are they not covering it for you? If it is specific to you, then I would find out the reasons why.
My insurance covers just not with the plan we have.
You know, I have been overweight since I was in my 20s but I never felt that I was, or so I thought. When I would go places I would hold my head up high and say "if people don't like the way I look they don't have to look" . Twenty yrs went by and I pretty much was the same weight the whole time. Last yr I was looking at some pics of me and realized that in all of them I was doing something silly, even my wedding pics. Why did I do that ? I thought about it and realized I always acted like a silly clown so people would laugh. I think I did that so at least I felt like they were laughing with me not at me. If I was the life of the party people would like me and not notice I was fat.

I have learned a lot from this group. I want to know what is going to happen and what to expect.

I have learned a lot from this group. I want to know what is going to happen and what to expect.

I feel for you as many of us feel or have felt that same way. Does your insurance carrier not cover the procedure at all or are they not covering it for you? If it is specific to you, then I would find out the reasons why.
My insurance covers just not with the plan we have.
You know, I have been overweight since I was in my 20s but I never felt that I was, or so I thought. When I would go places I would hold my head up high and say "if people don't like the way I look they don't have to look" . Twenty yrs went by and I pretty much was the same weight the whole time. Last yr I was looking at some pics of me and realized that in all of them I was doing something silly, even my wedding pics. Why did I do that ? I thought about it and realized I always acted like a silly clown so people would laugh. I think I did that so at least I felt like they were laughing with me not at me. If I was the life of the party people would like me and not notice I was fat.

Okay.....so.... Hopefully this will make sense as I am so mad/sad I can't think.
Or rather my weight is all I can think about.
I want to go to the doctors and not hear " you need to loose weight" or "because you are overweight" or "this happens to bigger girls".
It seems to me that every time I go to the doctors it is something new, that can be directly linked to my weight. This isn't to say that I want a new ailment I just want to go once and not hear these things . I left my obgyn crying ( I waited till I was in the parking lot) and cried all the way home.
What the hell have I done to my body, why have I let myself get this big. What is wrong with me, I can't even do overweight right. Most overweight girls I know have big boobs or pretty faces. I have neither. Oh and add to that my hair is so thin you can see my scalp I will be bald soon.
I have tried talking to my husband, bless his soul, but I cry and then I get angry because I know this is all my fault. He tries to be supportive he says "he loves me just the way I am" or " it's ok honey everyone thinks you are special". Then I hear him tell my son ( he's 24) " your mom is having some sort of mid life crisis" ........ Grrrrr he doesn't get it.
I have been eating salads and chicken and fish, watching my portions, and drinking so much Water I am surprised I don't float. I get on the scale at the doctors and have gained 2.5 lbs. which makes me look like a jackass because I just excitedly told him about being so good with my food.< /p>
I know people here will think " go to therapy girl". Been there done that my therapist thinks these emotions are normal for someone "who is overweight" and that I need to recognize the problem and work on it. My pcp and my therapist want me to get wls, my insurance plan will not cover it. I have applied for care credit and am waiting patiently..... NOT.
WOW I feel a little better.
Love me hate me, it is what it is!!!!!
Thank you

I feel for you as many of us feel or have felt that same way. Does your insurance carrier not cover the procedure at all or are they not covering it for you? If it is specific to you, then I would find out the reasons why.
My insurance covers just not with the plan we have.
You know, I have been overweight since I was in my 20s but I never felt that I was, or so I thought. When I would go places I would hold my head up high and say "if people don't like the way I look they don't have to look" . Twenty yrs went by and I pretty much was the same weight the whole time. Last yr I was looking at some pics of me and realized that in all of them I was doing something silly, even my wedding pics. Why did I do that ? I thought about it and realized I always acted like a silly clown so people would laugh. I think I did that so at least I felt like they were laughing with me not at me. If I was the life of the party people would like me and not notice I was fat.

Okay.....so.... Hopefully this will make sense as I am so mad/sad I can't think.
Or rather my weight is all I can think about.
I want to go to the doctors and not hear " you need to loose weight" or "because you are overweight" or "this happens to bigger girls".
It seems to me that every time I go to the doctors it is something new, that can be directly linked to my weight. This isn't to say that I want a new ailment I just want to go once and not hear these things . I left my obgyn crying ( I waited till I was in the parking lot) and cried all the way home.
What the hell have I done to my body, why have I let myself get this big. What is wrong with me, I can't even do overweight right. Most overweight girls I know have big boobs or pretty faces. I have neither. Oh and add to that my hair is so thin you can see my scalp I will be bald soon.
I have tried talking to my husband, bless his soul, but I cry and then I get angry because I know this is all my fault. He tries to be supportive he says "he loves me just the way I am" or " it's ok honey everyone thinks you are special". Then I hear him tell my son ( he's 24) " your mom is having some sort of mid life crisis" ........ Grrrrr he doesn't get it.
I have been eating salads and chicken and fish, watching my portions, and drinking so much Water I am surprised I don't float. I get on the scale at the doctors and have gained 2.5 lbs. which makes me look like a jackass because I just excitedly told him about being so good with my food.< /p>
I know people here will think " go to therapy girl". Been there done that my therapist thinks these emotions are normal for someone "who is overweight" and that I need to recognize the problem and work on it. My pcp and my therapist want me to get wls, my insurance plan will not cover it. I have applied for care credit and am waiting patiently..... NOT.
WOW I feel a little better.
Love me hate me, it is what it is!!!!!
Thank you

Okay.....so.... Hopefully this will make sense as I am so mad/sad I can't think.
Or rather my weight is all I can think about.
I want to go to the doctors and not hear " you need to loose weight" or "because you are overweight" or "this happens to bigger girls".
It seems to me that every time I go to the doctors it is something new, that can be directly linked to my weight. This isn't to say that I want a new ailment I just want to go once and not hear these things . I left my obgyn crying ( I waited till I was in the parking lot) and cried all the way home.
What the hell have I done to my body, why have I let myself get this big. What is wrong with me, I can't even do overweight right. Most overweight girls I know have big boobs or pretty faces. I have neither. Oh and add to that my hair is so thin you can see my scalp I will be bald soon.
I have tried talking to my husband, bless his soul, but I cry and then I get angry because I know this is all my fault. He tries to be supportive he says "he loves me just the way I am" or " it's ok honey everyone thinks you are special". Then I hear him tell my son ( he's 24) " your mom is having some sort of mid life crisis" ........ Grrrrr he doesn't get it.
I have been eating salads and chicken and fish, watching my portions, and drinking so much Water I am surprised I don't float. I get on the scale at the doctors and have gained 2.5 lbs. which makes me look like a jackass because I just excitedly told him about being so good with my food.< /p>
I know people here will think " go to therapy girl". Been there done that my therapist thinks these emotions are normal for someone "who is overweight" and that I need to recognize the problem and work on it. My pcp and my therapist want me to get wls, my insurance plan will not cover it. I have applied for care credit and am waiting patiently..... NOT.
WOW I feel a little better.
Love me hate me, it is what it is!!!!!
Thank you

I used to keep clothes I knew I was to big for I would take them out and look at them and tell myself "someday I will wear you again" .