devichan

I heart Dr. July. I've had a very smooth recovery except where I pushed myself too hard. And while I'm stalled right now, I just discovered I'm down 4 pants sizes since January, three since the sleeve!

Welcome to the legendary week three stall! Take deep breaths. It'll move again.

Welcome to the legendary week three stall! Take deep breaths. It'll move again.

Oh, Bredred... I'm so sorry to hear of your family's troubles! Please accept my warmest wishes for your daughter's healing and the best outcome possible for everyone else in your family.
Have you talked to a professional about this? There are people who work with people who have similar issues, and who can help you work your way through these perfectly-valid feelings. I don't know how you feel, but I can sure understand how you got there, and hope you'll consider talking this out with a pro.
In the meantime, if you're a hugger and would welcome it, you have hugs from me. If you don't want them for whatever reason, please know I'm thinking of you.

3-month checkup: officially no longer considered "morbidly obese." My birthday was last Wednesday.,. I had organic strawberries and sugar-free whipped cream for my birthday dessert. I can almost fit a size 18!

3-month checkup: officially no longer considered "morbidly obese." My birthday was last Wednesday.,. I had organic strawberries and sugar-free whipped cream for my birthday dessert. I can almost fit a size 18!

Down 50 yesterday from surgery! I'm calling it officially 216, though, since I bounce up and down by up to two pounds... but the trend is always, always down.
So 3 months, 50 lbs. I am so very happy with this rate!

Down 50 yesterday from surgery! I'm calling it officially 216, though, since I bounce up and down by up to two pounds... but the trend is always, always down.
So 3 months, 50 lbs. I am so very happy with this rate!

Down 50 yesterday from surgery! I'm calling it officially 216, though, since I bounce up and down by up to two pounds... but the trend is always, always down.
So 3 months, 50 lbs. I am so very happy with this rate!

Just wanted to share that this morning, I weighed in at 221.5 (down from 309 in December, 265 June 3). This is equal to the smallest weight I've been since I was 19, and I turn 42 in two weeks. By my birthday, I'll be back to my teen-level weight again.
I am doing so well! I don't mind the 1-2 lb/week average dropping. I feel like it's healthy for me and I'm so very happy. I have energy and skin tone. I am starting with a bit of the hair loss, but I was braced for that and it's no worse than it was 12 weeks out from my childrens' births. (I've actually had worse Hair loss from regular diets.)
I CAN eat anything, but I'm being very choosy with my foods. I've discovered a love for sweet and savory tuna. I'm also eating more seafood, which is great because I've always loved that.
I've even celebrated by getting a new pair of glasses, my first in years. They're a lot like my 80s glasses. Pics in my gallery!

Good on you for staying careful on the cruise! That's hard work. And I'm glad someone else is dropping at the same rate as I am.

Just wanted to share that this morning, I weighed in at 221.5 (down from 309 in December, 265 June 3). This is equal to the smallest weight I've been since I was 19, and I turn 42 in two weeks. By my birthday, I'll be back to my teen-level weight again.
I am doing so well! I don't mind the 1-2 lb/week average dropping. I feel like it's healthy for me and I'm so very happy. I have energy and skin tone. I am starting with a bit of the hair loss, but I was braced for that and it's no worse than it was 12 weeks out from my childrens' births. (I've actually had worse Hair loss from regular diets.)
I CAN eat anything, but I'm being very choosy with my foods. I've discovered a love for sweet and savory tuna. I'm also eating more seafood, which is great because I've always loved that.
I've even celebrated by getting a new pair of glasses, my first in years. They're a lot like my 80s glasses. Pics in my gallery!

Just wanted to share that this morning, I weighed in at 221.5 (down from 309 in December, 265 June 3). This is equal to the smallest weight I've been since I was 19, and I turn 42 in two weeks. By my birthday, I'll be back to my teen-level weight again.
I am doing so well! I don't mind the 1-2 lb/week average dropping. I feel like it's healthy for me and I'm so very happy. I have energy and skin tone. I am starting with a bit of the hair loss, but I was braced for that and it's no worse than it was 12 weeks out from my childrens' births. (I've actually had worse Hair loss from regular diets.)
I CAN eat anything, but I'm being very choosy with my foods. I've discovered a love for sweet and savory tuna. I'm also eating more seafood, which is great because I've always loved that.
I've even celebrated by getting a new pair of glasses, my first in years. They're a lot like my 80s glasses. Pics in my gallery!

The surgery was fine, actually. Not painless, but I didn't experience much pain at all. I was off the pain meds by three days out and working from work at 9 days. (Don't tell my doc.) My knees don't even feel like the same joints I had two months ago, there's such a big difference. I have only needed to take Tylenol one time for knee pain since the surgery, and I had been a 6-Advil-A-Day habit. NO regrets.

It's been a while since I updated.
Today, I got my approval from insurance. I meet with the surgeon on Friday at 10:45. As it happens, I have a stomach bug today and where I thought I'd be really excited, what I am is tired. I'm down to 269 on my home scale, so I'm sure I've met their pre-surgery requirements. (And I'm down 40 since December.)
We've told my 7-year-old. She is understanding and promised not to tacklehug me while I'm recovering. Her big question was would I be asleep, like her friend Jacob who got tubes in his ears because "he got earaches, like, ALL the TIME Mom, it was so sad!" She also says she'll be happy to help make me Soup in the microwave and eat the noodles out of my Soup for me. We've made our morning chewable Vitamins into a mommy-daughter time, which is kinda nice. She says she's looking forward to me being skinny like her and eating little meals like she does. <3 The rest of my chosen family remains supportive.
I've started taking Biotin, collagen, and Calcium with D already on top of my daily multi and B complex and the D I was prescribed. (In Minnesota just about everyone has Vitamin D issues, I'm told.)I am noticing an improvement in my skin and hair since I've been doing that, and I hope it will be enough to keep the Hair loss to a minimum. I remember what it was like to lose hair after my kids were born, so I have some perspective on what I'm looking at.
I finally told a few of my friends what was going on. The basic response was "do what you have to do to stop hurting. You really have tried everything else, and we love you regardless." It's good to have friends...
I guess I'm moving more toward the certain end of things?

I am certain I need this surgery. I am certain that I am going to get this surgery. I am certain I will be healthier in critical ways after this surgery. But I am not at all certain that I will be happier after this surgery.
My name is Dee, but if you call me Devichan I'll answer. I've used it as a nickname for years. I'm 41 years old, a mother of two (ages 16 and 7), poly, married, pagan, geeky, techie woman. I love my smile, my eyes, and my curves. I love to knit, play roleplaying games, watch football, and geek about Doctor Who (sometimes all at the same time!) I'm owned by three cats (Echo, a tuxedo female, and tortoiseshell littermates River and Kaylee), all of whom are adopted from rescues. We're looking into getting a dog. I live in the Twin Cities of Minnesota and I love it here. I've also lived in Ohio, North Carolina, Indiana, Michigan, and California. My family's idea of a vacation is a yearly trip to Dragon*Con in Atlanta. My daughters are the lights of my life... one snarky, gothy, creative, musical, and self-described (accurately) as "a teenager with a lick of sense" and the other bouncy, happy, colorful, who is a fan of both My Little Pony and the Avengers and who thinks nothing of running around the house in a pink tutu and crown wearing a batman mask, Wonder Woman arm bracers, and carrying a sword and shield.
I can't remember when people weren't talking about me in terms of my weight. food restrictions at age 6. "You have such a pretty face!" at seven. "I swore I'd never buy you plus sizes, but you've forced me to!" at eight. Weight Watchers at nine. If I could go back to 14-year old me, wearing a size 14, I would tell her everyone was wrong. Looking at pictures of the time, I was softly, roundly, genuinely pretty.
College came and with it an extra hundred pounds - body by Mountain Dew. (In the early 90s no one was talking to teenagers about how bad soft drinks were; saccharine was still the Devil In powder Form.) I had a two three-liter of Mountain Dew PER DAY habit at one point because of serious caffeine addiction. I broke it at age 23, but the damage was done. I stayed at 240 through most of the next decade, including after the birth of my first child.
Then I hurt first one knee, and then the other after the birth of my second child. Another 40 pounds arrived because I dieted and exercise hurt. Arthritis set in, I dieted some more as I was told, and with that even more pounds. Now, at 41, I weigh between 295-305 depending on stress levels. I am twice the size I was when everyone told me I was too fat to ever fall in love, get married, and have children.
I am OK with my fat. It's a part of me. I don't use it as a shield between me and the world, because I don't hide from the world. I am an extrovert and make friends easily. I haven't been without a partner since the age of 17, and between 15 and 17 I had a boyfriend or girlfriend for all but three months. I don't have diabetes, don't have heart trouble, don't have thyroid issues, don't have respiratory issues.
And yet.
My knees ache, especially in the winter. My mobility is increasingly compromised. I love to do yoga, but the pain in my knees is preventative. I don't THINK I have sleep apnea, but on 6-FEB-2013 I will be finding out the results of a sleep study.
I hurt. And I'm tired of hurting. I will soon need a cane to take the bus and light rail. Stairs are a problem - for the pain, not the breathlessness. I've been told I'm 15 years away from eligibility for a knee replacement. This is the only option doctors want to discuss. I don't dare diet again. I can't afford another 20 pounds.
On the 18th, I have my first consult. I do not want to look like a melting ice cream cone, and after decades of fat I almost certainly will. I will miss my curves.
And yet. I am certain of one thing: I hurt, and this is the only option I am being offered that will help.

The surgery was fine, actually. Not painless, but I didn't experience much pain at all. I was off the pain meds by three days out and working from work at 9 days. (Don't tell my doc.) My knees don't even feel like the same joints I had two months ago, there's such a big difference. I have only needed to take Tylenol one time for knee pain since the surgery, and I had been a 6-Advil-A-Day habit. NO regrets.

The surgery was fine, actually. Not painless, but I didn't experience much pain at all. I was off the pain meds by three days out and working from work at 9 days. (Don't tell my doc.) My knees don't even feel like the same joints I had two months ago, there's such a big difference. I have only needed to take Tylenol one time for knee pain since the surgery, and I had been a 6-Advil-A-Day habit. NO regrets.

Before....

And two months after!

Before....

And two months after!

I am certain I need this surgery. I am certain that I am going to get this surgery. I am certain I will be healthier in critical ways after this surgery. But I am not at all certain that I will be happier after this surgery.
My name is Dee, but if you call me Devichan I'll answer. I've used it as a nickname for years. I'm 41 years old, a mother of two (ages 16 and 7), poly, married, pagan, geeky, techie woman. I love my smile, my eyes, and my curves. I love to knit, play roleplaying games, watch football, and geek about Doctor Who (sometimes all at the same time!) I'm owned by three cats (Echo, a tuxedo female, and tortoiseshell littermates River and Kaylee), all of whom are adopted from rescues. We're looking into getting a dog. I live in the Twin Cities of Minnesota and I love it here. I've also lived in Ohio, North Carolina, Indiana, Michigan, and California. My family's idea of a vacation is a yearly trip to Dragon*Con in Atlanta. My daughters are the lights of my life... one snarky, gothy, creative, musical, and self-described (accurately) as "a teenager with a lick of sense" and the other bouncy, happy, colorful, who is a fan of both My Little Pony and the Avengers and who thinks nothing of running around the house in a pink tutu and crown wearing a batman mask, Wonder Woman arm bracers, and carrying a sword and shield.
I can't remember when people weren't talking about me in terms of my weight. food restrictions at age 6. "You have such a pretty face!" at seven. "I swore I'd never buy you plus sizes, but you've forced me to!" at eight. Weight Watchers at nine. If I could go back to 14-year old me, wearing a size 14, I would tell her everyone was wrong. Looking at pictures of the time, I was softly, roundly, genuinely pretty.
College came and with it an extra hundred pounds - body by Mountain Dew. (In the early 90s no one was talking to teenagers about how bad soft drinks were; saccharine was still the Devil In powder Form.) I had a two three-liter of Mountain Dew PER DAY habit at one point because of serious caffeine addiction. I broke it at age 23, but the damage was done. I stayed at 240 through most of the next decade, including after the birth of my first child.
Then I hurt first one knee, and then the other after the birth of my second child. Another 40 pounds arrived because I dieted and exercise hurt. Arthritis set in, I dieted some more as I was told, and with that even more pounds. Now, at 41, I weigh between 295-305 depending on stress levels. I am twice the size I was when everyone told me I was too fat to ever fall in love, get married, and have children.
I am OK with my fat. It's a part of me. I don't use it as a shield between me and the world, because I don't hide from the world. I am an extrovert and make friends easily. I haven't been without a partner since the age of 17, and between 15 and 17 I had a boyfriend or girlfriend for all but three months. I don't have diabetes, don't have heart trouble, don't have thyroid issues, don't have respiratory issues.
And yet.
My knees ache, especially in the winter. My mobility is increasingly compromised. I love to do yoga, but the pain in my knees is preventative. I don't THINK I have sleep apnea, but on 6-FEB-2013 I will be finding out the results of a sleep study.
I hurt. And I'm tired of hurting. I will soon need a cane to take the bus and light rail. Stairs are a problem - for the pain, not the breathlessness. I've been told I'm 15 years away from eligibility for a knee replacement. This is the only option doctors want to discuss. I don't dare diet again. I can't afford another 20 pounds.
On the 18th, I have my first consult. I do not want to look like a melting ice cream cone, and after decades of fat I almost certainly will. I will miss my curves.
And yet. I am certain of one thing: I hurt, and this is the only option I am being offered that will help.

Holly,
I'm so glad you updated.
I've been debating posting this, but I'm in a polyamorous relationship and I have been since 1993. It sounds like you two are finally getting to the Successful Poly Mantra: Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you need someone to talk to about multipartner issues who has been there and made it work, please feel free to PM me. If you think that was a side effect of other issues and you're fundamentally monogamous, you can still PM me and I'll listen.
I wish you the best and healthiest outcome for everyone concerned!!

An older gentleman I knew said once that when you decline a compliment, you insult the giver's taste and/or intelligence and/or feelings. It helps me accept compliments when I remember that, because I don't want to even take a chance on insulting someone. I don't know if you can believe what he said, but maybe thinking about that might help?

Down under 240 now, and today was my first day of non-pureed food! Breakfast was the Protein Drink, and then 1 oz salmon and a bit of pear for lunch! So good! I ate slowly, but after 45 minutes discarded the rest of the pear. So far so good on toleration. And it was tasty and satisfying.

So as everyone gets to one month out, howbout we post how we're doing?
I'm down 26lbs, back to working full-time and even OT, just started soft foods (mmmm, salmon today!), my belly skin is almost healed, I'm walking daily, and I feel great! I have to say that I expected to be having more buyer's remorse than I am, because I was so iffy about my own expected post-surgery emotional state. This weekend I'm going to a SF/Fantasy con and can't wait... I might be able to dress up next year!
How're other people as you reach your month out?