DeLarla

By the sounds of some of these posts, you guys probably won't even get to meet Lisa. DeLarla will be out in rare form! Donali, DeLarla's been thrown out of casinos before (plural.) Yes, there's always potential room for growth in the obnoxious department. Once she actually tore a lifesize cardboard football player off the wall in a sports bar because nobody else would dance with her, and then bought him a drink at the bar (he got tire from all that dancing.) Just bring a squirt bottle in case I get out of line.

Good point, Betty. I like the twist - instead of prizes to the winner, we should make Penni do stuff. Oh, if I only had time to ponder this one... darn, too much going on to think about it. Penni, don't dare bring me a tiara cause you know I'll wear the damn thing, and how much more obnoxious do you really want me to get?

How is anybody supposed to find this mysterious post, and you know I'm not capable of all that math, but I'll give it a shot. We both started with a 43 pound loss. I now have a 57 pound loss. That means I lost 14 pounds since the challenge. Hmmm, if you lost 6 pounds since the challenge, that means I lost 8 pounds more than you, right? If that's the case, I win, but we both lose!

And then there's jealous me... I want to go to yucky Milwaukee and stay overnight in a yucky hospital being catered to by caring nurses and doctors. No work, no home, no TV for an entire night? Sound like vacation. Plus you get the bonus of them figuring out what's wrong. I'm sad that you're sad. I'd go for you if I could. Meanwhile, my gastro doctor, who was more than happy to schedule me for an endoscopy in front of my face, had his secretary call me to tell me I can't have one. He said he never suggested me getting my hernia repaired (which they did during the band surgery) but hell, I never said he did. So if I want a scope, I'll have to go to TJ. Maybe in November.

No, Beca, the cookies go to my non-banded hubby till Darcy can have some. They are under lock and key!

HAHA, I was totally kidding, but I was darn close. It's Staphylococcus aureus

My lil Darcy Bear, someone just brought me fresh baked Cookies, but I'm not going to eat any till you're allowed to eat. Not one little crumb - they're all going home to Chris. Thanks for the info on "staph" infections. Duh. Probably the root of some big medical word like staphacockaloookadis.

If you've had a couple drinks and you're not wearing your glasses, it looks kinda clean. Still smells like a barn though!

Babs, I've been trying to write those books for years, but I need direction and guidance. I have so much to say, and have been told to write before, but I never know where to begin. Thank you, that's one of my favorite compliments. But you are skinnier than that babe!

This might sound bad and selfish, but I finally feel like I'm not the only alien around here. I've been jumping through doctor's hoops and hitting brick walls since my original surgery back in May, and I still have no answers. I picked up a bottle of Cheetah this morning that I have to drink before my belly Cat Scan. I've had it before, it's quite tasty - NOT! Tomorrow I'll do the renal scan before the Cat Scan, then I'll wait around hoping I don't get a staff infection till I see the surgeon at the end of the month. Does anyone know what a staff infection is? Would that be something that would make the incision red and inflamed first, or would I drop dead and find out when I got to the other side? The incision is not hot, red or infected, but I have a supply of antibiotics on hand just in case.

My house is dirty, windows disgusting and the lawn hasn't been mowed, poop hasn't been scooped, but I'm always ready for company! They'll only think I'm a bad housekeeper till we get a few margueritas in them anyway.

Some of you people amaze me with how great you feel right after surgery! You're the first person I've ever heard that was told they can eat anything the following day - even applesauce. Most of us were on liquids for at least a week. However, I was given apple juice on the 2nd day, and in Mexico the juice is fresh pressed and really thick with apple pulp. My doctor said it was no problem, so that's not much different than applesauce. But I didn't feel like eating for almost 2 weeks. Congrads on your new little band friend! Betty, tick-tock, tick-tock... you're time's right around the corner!

Thanks Karen, but Penni and I have each kept track on the same scale from the beginning, she on hers, and me on mine. We'd both like to know the truth though. However, I think if you move scales around too much it could mess up the calibration (that's so flipping funny since I don't even know what calibration means!) Both of my doctors have the dreaded slidy-kinda scale, and each one shows me a 10 pound difference. So how do we know which one is right? Hey everyone, this is the cutie pie Karen who saved my life... she's the little band fairy that POOFED into my life and told me and Chris about her band experience, so I followed her lead, and of to Mexico I went.

My gosh, Babs, you're skinnier than the baby! You look amazing, and I can't believe you're think you take bad pictures. There's no such thing as a bad pic for someone that's lost that kind weight. FOXY!

"I have to be NPO after MN again" I tried looking this up in the Bandster Dictionary but couldn't find it.

And we collectively have enough gas to save our country's energy crisis - you forgot that one. Penni, I say throw away all your scales then go to WalMart, line up every single scale, weigh on each one, then calculate the average. I don't know how much I weigh either. I'm always several pounds lighter in the morning. I weighed 255 the other morning stark naked at home, but later that day I weighed 247 at Urgent Care fully dressed in jeans and 2 lb boots. My clothing was about 3 lbs, so my scale is 10 pounds different than Urgent Care. So, maybe I'm really skinnier than I think? Where are the scientists today? How can we figure out what we weigh?

Betty, we're not switching scales because we agreed that we'd stick with the same scale every day. Penni's home scale matched her doctor's. My home scale matched my doctors. But there's about a 12 pound difference from hers & mine. My scale would add 10 pounds to Penni. I didn't start my journey on her scale, and she didn't start her journey on my scale - I don't think she'd like mine at all! Penni, I weighed at Urgent Care the other day, and their scales agree with your stand-up and Dr. Billy's. Showed me 11 pounds lighter than my scale and my regular doc's. We'll just throw all scales off the top of the Stratosphere and have our scientific friends measure the Water level after we jump in the pool for a more accurate number. Penni, we are both big fat losers - we both win. Hell, you get a prize just for having the balls to challenge DeLarla - to anything! I just love ya so much that I think I'll go to Zabba's and eat a big fat Mexican bowl with extra cheese and sour cream, just for you.

Penni, Penni, Penni... you're only as sick as your secrets. As soon as you accept the fact that HAVING THREE scales IS INSANE, then the weight will come off, I promise. Your stand-up scale showed a 12-15 pound "fifferance" (sorry, Michelle, couldn't help myself.) Lucien and I were much lighter on your stand-up compared to my scale, Lucien's, and my doctor's, which all agreed with your digital. I can't even remember what your Scale Number 3 said! Now, let's go back to when I suggested that competition might impede our weight loss efforts, and you started flapping your wings at me and bawcking like a chicken. You'll probably drop 5 pounds Friday after the challenge is over because the competition is messing with your head. Meanwhile, there's nothing "f-ing" about a three pound loss - that's nothing but consistent, healthy and righteous. And a 3 pound loss after going on vacation? Unheard of! So give yourself a big pat on the back, a big hug, and then go suck on a salt-lick so I can be sure you don't drop those pounds till after Thursday morning.

I guess I was lucky during my liquid stage. I had a hard recovery, so I didn't want any food. But once I felt better, the cream soups & mashed taters were really good. Glad you're feeling better & smiling!

Darcy Baby, does the heating pad help at all? Where is the pain? Is it below belly button? Thank God your band is okay. They'll figure it out, I just know they will, then you will be Goddess Darcy because they'll name it Darcy's Syndrome, so nobody will have to suffer because you went through it first. Thanks for noticing my loss. I actually hit -61 awhile back but gained 2 back. Yo-yo.

Michelle, I'm extremely pleased. I was actually down 2 pounds lower, but I'm still struggling with eating at night... last night I shoulda called you... I shoulda, I shoulda, I shoulda! Hey everyone, Michelle sent me tons of her clothes, and she must be damn skinny cuz they're pretty tiny. But I'm squeezing into some of them anyway. When I wear tight jeans, I can't eat much. Spray that denim right on me! Damn, are you guys here yet?

Penni, you're obviously the bad ass of the bunch, so I can't wait to dress you up in my Barbie Harley gear and take a picture of you on the Harley Barbie bike. She got a new outfit yesterday - some cute fringe gloves for the hand controls. But she's staying home today. I didn't like the attention I got yesterday - too much attention for shy 'lil ol me (I've got my shoes lined up so go ahead and start throwing yours at me.) Have I told you guys lately that I adore each and every one of you?

Lisa G., I ALREADY DID IT. That's why I'm never going up there again! I left my soul on that friggin ride! The Stratosphere is one of those "world's tallest structure" tower buildings. It's not the tallest, but there's some world record about it. It was actually supposed to be taller but there were problems with the airport & low flying planes (or something like that.) So you take the elevator to the top and see the whole city, and there's a restaurant that rotates very slowly - takes about an hour to see the entire city. Oh, but they couldn't stop there. They decided to build a roller coaster on top. Oh, but they couldn't stop there, so they built this "free fall ride" a floor above the roller coaster. It's horrifying, and I haven't gone back to the tower since I went on it. But nooooo, they couldn't stop there, so they just built this third death-trap up there. I can't even describe it. Kinda like if you hammered a ladder on your roof with only a foot of it nailed down and the long end jutting over the side (imagine a diving board.) Then this roller coaster thingy on wheels shoots out over the edge at some ridiculous speed, so you're jutting off the top of the highest building on a couple toothpicks. I'LL PASS. If I have to lose my band it's going to be the old fashioned way of removal due to erosion, not hurling it out over the top of the Stratosphere!

Leather is for posers. Bikes are for posers. Leather is for posers on bikes. I was actually so embarrassed at the attention I got on my bike yesterday that today I'm driving my truck to work. I know all about protective clothing, but it's all so damn silly that I gotta leave the bike home today. Maybe tomorrow I'll wear my Halloween costume and drive my Halloween bike to work. I watched this great new show about this female professor. She's so anti-religious that a student approached her after class who felt the professor was bleeding her negative views on religious beliefs into her teaching. The student was this little Middle Eastern girl with the traditional scarf covering her entire head, and the professor became defensive and basically told the student that she needed to be educated and liberated instead of continuing to base her beliefs on tradition and what others raised her to believe. The girl's response was so moving; she said American girls are judged by their figures, faces, breasts; we're obsessed with perfect skin, teeth, anorexia, and plastic surgery (and BMWs & Harleys is what I wanted to add.) She explained she IS liberated, which is why it's her choice to cover her female attributes so that she's seen as a person, not an object. That little actress said exactly how my mind feels, so I'm shopping for shrouds, and I'm going to paint my bike Amish Brown, shave the fringe off my jacket, wear a shroud, and eat only potatoes and goat cheese. Then maybe I can come to terms with the whole Harley label and all that comes with it. Makes me feel damn silly, but I’ll probably get over it.

Ladies, in the future, please restrict spitting up food to band-approved Productive Burping only. Tsk tsk, what would Molly Manners say? Lulu, try as you may, try as you might... even offer me large sums of money - I ain't goin' up there. Good luck. You gonna try to drag 5'10" of 260 pound Polish double Libra woman with Mom's schitzophrenic gene tucked away for emergencies in her pocket up there?