DeLarla

I thought there was a worldwide conspiracy against me till I read this post. You're going though the same nightmare as me with my band. Nothing but recordings, unanswered messages, ignored e-mails. Does anybody remember the days when doctors and nurses actually cared about patients? She's a lucky gal, that's for sure.

You look like a regular size person! Did they give you the before shots to show us?

You get 3 gold stars for only having A cookie. Yesterday I had five before noon. Today I had a protein shake that has chromium in it (like a diet pill for me.) So I've been good so far, and I already finished my daily water requirement. I must be serious!

I think it's time. This is just for starters. Please add or modify by cutting and pasting into a new post so we keep the list current: PB - Productive Burp: There are many versions to the PB, but it's basically when slime comes back up often followed by the food you just ate after the food refuses to go down. NSV- Non scale Victory: Something fabulous that happens as a result of weight loss that doesn't have anything to do with numbers, like getting flirted with or picking up something off the floor without falling over. ESOPHOGITUS STICKY PM - Private Message: If you want to say something privately to another member, just click on their name for an option to send them a private message. ACID REFLUX FILL UNFILL

I hear that "sticky" term alot. Is that another word for the Bandster Dictionary?

It's always best to get banded locally, close to home. But if Mexico is your only choice, who said you have to go alone? People from this board go to Mexico all the time for fills, so maybe you can hook up with a band buddy that will meet you there to hold your hand. You don't have to speak Spanish since most doctors send a car to the airport to pick you up. The doctors and their staff all speak both English and Spanish and are very understanding of our American needs (most doctors, that is.) I wish I could have afforded getting banded here in Vegas. I've been sitting here on hold trying to find out how much it currently costs, and I just choked on my own saliva! The hospital fee alone is $13,000, then you have to add in the surgeon's fees and the anesthesiologists. The surgeon's office wouldn't even quote me a fee, but they said the surgeon is about the same as the hospital.... choke choke.

Good to see you here. I used to sleep with a CPAP machine to keep me breathing at night (had sleep apnea.) Several months back, I noticed the machine was really drying out my nose and throat to the point I couldn't stand using it. I was afraid the apnea would keep me away, but now I sleep like a baby. I've only lost half the weight I need to lose, but my apnea is already under control. Good luck to you and your hubby.

Kelly, the acid reflux is something I used to have a huge problem with pre-band. But did you notice before getting sick that you always wake up with a raspy throat? I've been thinking it was just allergies, but I'm convinced food and/or liquids from my belly are still creeping up my esophagus every single night. I had a hiatal hernia before getting banded (my doc must have positioned the band to hold the hernia down.) I had that same "choking on food" thing all the time before. Even when I stop eating hours before going to bed, I still wake up with a raspy throat. I hope you get better soon. Being on liquids is really hard for me. The only way I'm able to do it is by having the Protein shakes with chromium, because it's like a diet pill for me that helps me stay away from food.

Megan, you hit a good point. For me, the calories and fat in goodies don't bother me. It's the addiction they trigger that holds me down. Once I started by eating one or two, my body/mind/soul NEEDED more. I don't know how to break the horrible cycle again. I guess I need 2 bands.

Oh my gosh... look how far apart your feet were in your before picture. Now look at your after shot! Great job. That's it, I need to post more "after" pictures, which means I'll need to lose more weight. My weigh in is 1/5, and I'm afraid I might have to post my first gain. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Good ones! My original thread said I'd pound a glass of water for each chuckle, so I just finished one and working on my 2nd. Keep 'em coming!

To delete an entire thread (you had to start it) just hit the edit button. It will bring you to a place that asks you if you want to delete it. Make sure to click on the box at the left before hitting "delete." HAPPY NEW YEAR RIGHT BACK ATCHA!

I envy your gorgeous hair! At Christmas I tried standing behind hubby for our picture. But he swung me up front and said, "you don't have to hide behind me anymore." So there we stood, side-by-side for the first time. I still have my Xanax, but I can't remember the last time I took one. Welcome, Rachel. I'll be sitting in the bleachers with my pom-poms when you go for surgery!

Did she really say "blackberry cobbler" and where the hell can I get some in Vegas before Sunday??????????????????//

Jack, go to the store in your slippers and pass out lollypops. That will impress your friends tremendously.

I've been a slacker... but enough is enough. I'm heading to the kitchen with my 64 ounce jug right this second. Thanks for the encouragement!

Some of you noticed the joke thread was gone. Well, I posted that thread as an impulse, but the next day I felt stupid so I deleted it. But too many people noticed it gone, so here it is again. We can always use a good laugh! xo

Ladiebird, what a cute picture! Now take a picture of your cute painted tootsies and let's see that NSV. Feels great, doesn't it! Con'rads to you.

Selicia and everyone else, I am at WAR WITH FOOD. I weighed 250 this morning and the scale is on an upward climb. Enough is enough. Thank God the first of the year is around the corner. Starting New Years Day I'll be making calls every single night. I have a lot of phone numbers, but if you want a call send me your phone number in a Private Message and I'll add you to my list. My biggest screw up is giving up my morning protein shakes. The only way my life works is if I have a protein shake for breakfast, a good band lunch, dinner, then ONE SMALL evening snack like an ice cream sandwich, then I feel great and lose weight. FEEL GREAT AND LOSE WEIGHT, FEEL GREAT AND LOSE WEIGHT, FEEL GREAT AND LOSE WEIGHT, ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY, FEEL GREAT AND LOSE WEIGHT..... I think someone's losing her marbles. Better check my microchip.

My Mum (how cute is that?) picks green stems from weeds in the front yard and eats them! She is extremely gross, and yes she eats all that crap. She is mentally distorted and does not believe we are supposed to enjoy life. She believes we are here for a purpose to gather information that we'll need in the next life. She does not think food is an enjoyment, rather it serves its purpose, which is nutrition only. I have seen her eat some of the most disgusting stuff - like sour milk or nearly-liquified brown bananas. There's a whole thread about crazy family stories where I let go of alot of my "Mum" venting. Mum - that's so cute!

Staci, is your doctor Lopez or Kuri?

I guess my whole point is that I have a problem with addictions. I'm addicted to sugar, salt and fatty foods. I can't have "just a little" because it just starts up my junkie-engine, and then I'm not able to stop. I WISH I didn't like goodies!

One last thought. As part of the pre-screening process to see if you qualify for a band, your doctors will put you through a nutritional screening and a psychological screening. If you express your desire not to change during these screenings, you might be rejected. The doctors have to make sure you are 100% ready for a complete lifestyle change. I'm not saying that will happen, it's just something to think about. When I was losing consistently, my meals were: Breakfast - Protein shake lunch - about a cup of the last night's dinner leftovers, or 1/2 a normal salad Dinner - about 1 1/2 cups of WHATEVER hubby made for himself (meat, potatoes, spaghetti, meatballs, lasagna, etc) or 1/2 to 3/4 "normal" salad with real dressing. Dessert (bad girl) I always let myself have a fudgcicle or low-fat ice cream sandwich I lost almost 70 pounds that way. But during the holidays I started snacking inbetween meals, and now I can't stop. All I want is to get back on track! Maybe I need 2 bands?

Staci, fifteen pounds gets you a big high five! Good going. The loss will slow down, but if you work hard and really really really practice your new eating habits, the loss will be consistent. Good luck!

I see your point, Leigh. When I'm eating healthy, I eat a small portion of what you call a "normal" salad. I eat real salad with a real croutons, bacon bits, real salad dressing. I eat real cheese, and I even eat chicken fingers dipped in ranch. But I stopped losing because I started adding too much crap. Also, I can't have that yummy salad every night. You kind of have to stagger fattening salads one night with a lighter version at other times. So in answer to your original question, yes, I was losing a lot of weight while eating "normal" so to say. Every single doctor is different. My doctor did not consult me on nutrition, but one of his assistants did. She described the way I'm supposed to eat for life, and she was very adamant that I never again follow a diet. She wanted me to eat "normal" foods. I was to eat three meals a day, NO snacking, and to chew my food and eat for 20 minutes, then stop. I was told to introduce one food at a time, and eat whatever my body tolerated without dieting, counting, writing it down, etc. But most band doctors tell you to eat your Protein choice first, then your veggie, and eat carbs at the end so that you don't overdue the carbs. I am able to eat bread now, but I wasn't for the first 6 months. Bread gets stuck in my throat. Imagine having something really dry stuck in your throat that causes a lump and refuses to go down - that's the feeling we're talking about. I had problems with bread or dry chicken, but I never had problems with Pasta or rice. A lot of people can't eat pasta or rice for the same reason, and a lot of people have problems with fries for the same reason. Hey, if I was able to lose weight the way you are currently losing weight, I would never need the band. Good for you, you are very lucky cause none of us were able to lose weight that way... I take that back, most of us DID lose weight that way many times, but we always gained it back with extra pounds. Maybe you should discuss the differences between having a band and having a gastric bypass with your doctor for better clarification. With the gastric bypass, there are foods you'll probably never get to eat again because your body simply can't digest them. The bypass completely re-wires the stomach so that you can't digest certain foods. With the bypass, the bottom part of your stomach no longer functions, so you lose a lot of the digestive process. In addition, you can't absorb nutrition. The band doesn't come with these problems since everything you eat first sits in the top pouch, but then it slips through to the bottom of your stomach where it is digested and absorbed just like it always did. So ask your doctor to be more specific in the reason you can't ever eat bread or fries again. But if you have the willpower and control to lose weight by eating sensibly on your own, then there's no reason for you to need weight loss surgery. WLS is strictly for those of us who have tried and failed many times over - a last-chance resort... our last hope. I wish I was able to eat healthy every single day. A few ounces of protein, a portion of veggies and a couple spoons of carbs. Geeze, life would be good. But I got the band because I have been on too many strict diets. The last time I pulled out the scale to measure some chicken I had a nervous breakdown and threw the scale at the wall screaming and crying. I hope nobody gets mad at me because a lot of people, once banded, do stick to a healthy plan. Maybe one day a miracle will happen, and I'll no longer want nachos but till then................