WednesdaysSun

I'm going through this and feeling the same way exactly so I haven't been coming to the forums as much anymore. It's an awful feeling seeing so many people drop weight on and on and I have been stuck for maybe 4 months now sigh

Actually there is and its pretty simple; eat at a caloric deficit and you will lose weight. If you are not losing it means your metabolism has taken a beating, your BMR and your RMR has lowered down probably into the low 1000 calories. Overtime you have went from eating very few calories, 500-600 1month postop, with a BMR close to 3000cal per day to around 1000cal at 5 months postop and your BMR has dropped down to around 1200cal, thus why you are not losing. Your not losing because you are eating at a very small caloric deficit each day. The above figures have you losing at 1month postop, 5lbs per week. The above figures also show losing only 1lbs every 17days, 5 months postop. Those numbers are just examples but I bet they are pretty close to whats going on with members who are not losing.
People talk about breaking stalls by eating more. It works because they eat more for a couple days. Their metabolism picks up increasing their BMR and RSR. They go back to eating as usual and lose a few pounds because of their increased metabolism/caloric deficit. Its easy to say I broke my stall because I upped my calories but its much more important to your overall success to understand why/how you broke the stall.
Members who are losing quickly are going above and beyond what your doctors minimum requirements are. They are researching and implementing techniques to lose quicker, finding out what works for them and how their body responds to certain practices . 50g of Protein might be what your DR prescribed but thats really not a lot. 64oz of Water might be whats recommended but most members losing quickly will drink 64oz of Water during their daily workout... its not really a lot of water. You DR tells you to start walking, why not hit the gym and lift weights a couple times a week... how about 15+miles of walking/jogging/running per week? Walking around your block for a half hour 3 times per week might burn 400 calories all week long. Thats roughly 1600 calories a month... not even half a pound loss. Get on an elliptical for 45mins at a steady pace for 45mins every day and thats 600+calories a day, 18000 per month and over 5lbs loss.
Tweak your diets and change it up from time to time. Challenge and push yourself in the gym. Work hard towards a decent size caloric deficit and you will lose weight. Its plain and simple. You can make every excuse in the book but if your not losing it simply means you are not eating at a caloric deficit. If you think you should be losing because of the 800 calories your eating daily, it means your metabolism is shot and you need to figure out a way to increase your BMR and RMR.

Make sure you're not drinking your calories (sweet tea, sugar loaded coffee, carb-loaded drinks from Starbucks, etc) & make sure you are getting enough calories & Protein. Do you track your intake on MyFitnessPal or a similar website? Are you measuring your portions? Are you drinking while eating (instead of waiting 30 minutes before & after eating)? Go back to basics to reset your way of thinking & eating. It might be wise to start back with liquids only & then progress through the stages (clear liquids with Protein Powder added in), then full liquids, pureeds, then soft foods. This might help to refocus your thinking about portion sizes, etc.

I'm just venting here. I had VSG on 11/12/12. Did really well the first 6 weeks. Once I went back to work in January, it's like the genie said "Poof! No more weight loss for you!" I have struggled and struggled. I am at my breaking point now. I have even avoided the message boards here for weeks because I get even more depressed reading about everyone's success. Nothing I try seems to work for me anymore. I am exercising like I should. I am eating what I should, and avoiding what I shouldn't be eating. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get beyond that one hash mark on the scale. I have an appointment with the surgeon next week and I really don't want to go to it. I feel like a complete failure when it comes to this surgery. I have lost 42 lbs. so far, but that was all before January. Since then - nothing! Granted, I haven't gained any either, but I still feel like a complete failure.
I was religiously logging my food on MFP, but found that if I did that, all I did was make myself feel hungry and deprived so I had to let up on being so obsessive about that. Now, I just don't know what to do. I am about ready to resign myself to the fact that I am just going to be this way the rest of my life.

The fat on your body is just a layer of cells like your skin. How the layer of fat got thick is irrelevant. It does not define you any more than your skin color, and your skin color certainly does not define you, Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. taught us that.
The essential you is not fat or skin layers, it is your character, your mind, your spirit. It sounds like you have a great husband who sees that.
You can change the fat layer with your essential you. Be your own friend, give yourself the same breaks that you would anyone else that you love. I believe God loves you, too. And He knows you better than you do.

Leaks and blood clots.
Any complication that would prevent me from attending my final examination (student) about 3weeks after surgery. I am two classes away from graduating so missing this exam is not an option.
I remained a college student thru pregnancy an labor and delivery. I maintained my honors GPA. I hope i can do it through surgery.
Sent from my iPhone using VST

Complications from the surgery. (Leaks)

Not waking up from the anesthesia.
Amanda Rae

loose skin.... started my plastic surg saving fund already!!!
Sent from my GT-I9100 using VST

So I've been trying to hold it in, but I'm sooooooooo EXCITED that I'm getting sleeved on Thursday! I just had to shout it somewhere, lol. This is my first post on this site. :-)

I was very afraid of having loose skin after the weight loss, however coming into some foresight I now am no longer afraid, you see after the weight loss I will no longer be afraid of high buildings or airplanes, I unlike skinny people will have a natural ability to flow through the air like a flying squirrel.

I told my mom, dad, and little brother. Very tight knit supportive family, and I don't even live with them. I'm one of those "tell no one" people. I just felt I owed it to them, seeing that they gave me life with all healthy organs. If anything were to happen, I didn't want them blindsided. That said, I don't think anything's going to happen, I've told no one out side of them, not even my best friend who I tell everything to. I don't plan on sharing any news with anyone. I could not care less about observations of eating too little either. Whatever, I'll just order Soup on certain outings. It's a theory. All that commentary is for the birds lol. If you want to keep it private, do so. There are a lot of very supportive people out there but more than anything, some of us aren't into group discussions about your life choices, foreign country "hack jobs" and so forth. Vacation it is!

Tell me, in her premonition were you skinny or fat? I like to keep in mind how much higher the odds are of dying if one stays obese.
Perhaps in her premonition you did not have the surgery and died of a heart attack.

I really wanted to reply to this. Yes, sex is a LOT of work for a big guy. Ladies, all due respect, but most of the time, sex is all about US doing the work -- abs and core, legs, arms. If you're out of shape, as a guy, sex can absolutely destroy your stamina, and let's face it -- collapsing like a pile of Jello halfway through just ain't sexy. So we try REALLY hard to please y'all, but when you're that heavy, it just ain't going to happen!
Add to this the fact that fat converts testosterone to estrogen (yes, estrogen. Look up lipid aromatization for proof...) and you see a real "double whammy" for us guys emerging; not only are we expected to be nearly machine-like in our movements, with no reaction to the sheer strain and stress of moving 250, 300, 400 pounds of flesh around (not counting the lady!), but our testosterone can dip so low that we have a hard time keeping an erection (and what THAT means, ladies, is that ANY distraction can make "it" go away -- slowing the rhythm, changing position, even just worrying that "oh god, I'm gonna lose it!" And when you're panting and wheezing and worried about having a heart attack (yes, contrary to urban legend, people can and do regularly have heart attacks or strokes during sex), that's a pretty serious distraction. So, for a heavy guy, sex really ain't much FUN! We want to do it to keep our lady friends happy, and sure, it FEELS good, but it also feels like we're gonna die, it's a race against the clock with whether Mr. Happy will keep playing along, and a lot of times those negatives outweigh (heh) the positives.
Now, switch to skinny sex. My muscles are MORE than capable of hauling my carcass around and doing ALL sorts of interesting positional things. Sure, I sweat and breathe hard in the throes of passion, but my heart and lungs are healthy and I have a ton of stamina, so I'm not worried some artery is going to explode. And best of all, because my testosterone MORE THAN DOUBLED without drugs, just by losing the weight, my libido is crazy -- that one hormone makes ALL the difference between just being caught up in my head and worrying about how I'm going to "perform" and getting utterly, absolutely lost in the moment. And that is so insanely sexy. Apparently for both of us!
So yes, ladies, if you want a better love life, definitely lose weight, but get your guy to lose weight too. You will NOT regret it!

Well, thing is, I don't feel like I'm some kind of huge stud or something; I just feel like maybe this is what a "normal, healthy" male libido is like at my age when you're near target weight, working on your physical fitness, and are rarin' to go.
In other words, it's not so much "I'm such a stud now!" as "Why on EARTH didn't I get this surgery in my 20's..."

First real "encounter" since the surgery (lots of fooling around, but yesterday was... the full meal deal). And... guys... wow. GET THIS SURGERY.
Before the surgery, I was a real "one minute wonder" (if I could even get lucky; at 338, it doesn't happen much). I would be panting and wheezing and see spots, and I was lucky to even be able to finish. I was used to the woman not... finishing, either.
Yesterday.
SEVEN. HOURS.
She had more... moments of joy than I could count (maybe 12? 15? 20?), and I had... THREE.
THREE. In one night! Guys, I'm 42. That just doesn't HAPPEN to guys my age.
And it certainly never happened before the sleeve.
Good god, men, if you have ANY problems in that area at all and are pre-sleeve, RUN, don't walk, and get the surgery.
UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE. I thought that stuff only happened in porno movies...
Ok, I'll shut up now. But... wow.
Sore... exhausted... and happy
Edit: uh, it wasn't seven hours continuously, I should mention... 8pm till 3am, but not all, uh, action. Even at my current fitness level, that WOULD kill me. Seven hours of go... rest, chat, laugh... go... rest, chat, laugh... repeat until too sore and exhausted to continue! And NOW I WILL shut up.

Well there's an ENDORSEMENT! LOL!

usually i was told that i made a great decision by not waiting until i am older, which i agree with! if anyone gives you a hard time just remember they dont have to live inside your body!

@ Mr_Worm ha ha thats pretty awesome

I know just how you feel - kind of dealing with those thoughts as well. A guy who went through it as well would be really great. We're different though in that I only told my mom and thats gonna be the end of that. For a normal person though (lol) I would say whether its weight loss surgery, or some things about the past, or what have you, everyone has there "stuff", you know? And thats typically the risk right? Just really hoping someone we care about accepts us.
I really do wish you the best of luck because the worry really sucks and finding love is hard enough as it is. Just hang in there, temper your expectations, and go with the flow. Awesome vibrant people who learn to love themselves end up attracting the like anyway!

i saw an episode of dr phil called something like "my mate isn't hot enough for me!" one of the ladies that was on there was 145lb & had, had an RNY. she was 300lb. she had extra skin. the guy that she wanted to date refused to commit to her & love her the way that she loved him.. he dated other women & stuff.. but he just couldn't stand the idea of having sex with her, because of her loose skin. she couldn't afford plastic surgery to fix it. the guy could afford it, but didn't want to make that kind of financial commitment, especially since they weren't dating or living together or etc... but at the same time, he didn't want to date her or live with her BECAUSE of her excess skin. she was very hurt & sad about it.. dr phil told her that their "relationship" was toxic.. she said he was her best friend... dr phil said if he really loved her, he would find a way to work with her & help her.. but he won't... she said that this wasn't the first time that a guy said that to her.. about her skin. apparently a lot of guys she's dated didn't want to get intimate with her, because they were grossed out by her skin (which i didn't think was that bad)...
one thing the guy this girl was so into also said (or it was mentioned on the show) was that he was also afraid that if she got the surgery, she'd be too hot & other guys would be all over her... or that the scarring may be too bad... so basically he was saying there was no hope for them.. but the girl still wanted him anyway... REALLY bad... she kept saying that they had a connection.. and that he was her best friend..
in the end, dr phil agreed to pay for her plastic surgery, but told her that their "relationship" wasn't healthy or good for her & that once she gets her excess skin removed, she will likely ditch him & move on to greener pastures.
just telling you that story, because people can be very shallow. however... there are a lot of good, decent people out there & you don't have to tell anyone you were sleeved. they don't need to know, unless you're ready to tell them & want to tell them. that's YOUR business. also, if a guy has an issue with you having had the surgery to help yourself... he's not the one for you. there's a lot of men out there that would treat you with kindness, respect and love and that would adore you, no matter what... you don't need or have time to deal with shallow morons.

I'm not a girl, but do agree. Tell the guy when you're ready. I'm married.....so it has nothing to do with dating, but I still am choosy who I tell I have had surgery because as WednesdaysSun said there will be people that don't understand and will be critical.
On a side note, from your picture you look beautiful, so you should feel comfortable with yourself first, before you worry about what some dumb guy thinks of you. Find the guy that cares for you as you.

well from a guy, GIRLS ARE ALL OVER ME...they don't care if I'm sleeved or not and my scars are not noticeable at all *flexes*

20 something NY girl here as well
Personally I wouldn't volunteer sleeve information to new guys in such early stages. Give it some time, check out their character and all that and when you're comfortable, you mention it. Young guys, at least a whole lot of them can be critical about things they don't understand particularly with someone they don't know that well yet. I guess all people can be that way. Point is, its your journey, your body, pace yourself and when you're ready, go ahead and share your story
Major point to note though - a guy who isn't open minded about your journey probably isn't going to be an ideal match. Really and truly. You want to be able to be yourself with the person you're with! Cliche concept but SO true!