Today I woke up crying. So many things weighing on my mind. This week coming, my insurance will be submitted and hopefully approved. My excitement and inpatience has turned into fear and doubt. What if I get any of the horrible complications i read about. What if i get all of them. What if I die. I have 9 kids and a grand baby. I have 4 still at home that depend on me. They are all adopted and need special care. My 10 year old has significNt emotional issues that requires constant supervision. I adore my DH , but he wont be a le to carry this load. Last might my son, who is visiting from abroad and staying at my mom's house, called me last night. Seems she has had signs of a heart attach since Thursday and refuses to go to the hospital. I cant convince her just to have an ekg, just to be on the safe side. Mind you, my mom can be hystrionic and attention seeking, but this is beyond ignoring. So here i sit, on my bed, DH sound asleep at my side, crying my eyes out. Should I ditch the whole thing and focus on my family. What will happen if I dont make it.