A Little About Me And Where I Am On This Journey
· StrongMommy · 09/20/2012 04:35
Sometimes I just get so upset with myself. I know better, but I still eat the wrong things. I know better, but I still don't get up and move. I know better, but I still tear myself down emotionally. I know better, but I'm still almost 300 lbs. because at the end of the day it doesn't seem to matter that I know better... I'm not doing better!
I'm hoping to have surgery by the end of the year. I started my 6 mo supervised diet with my PCP in June, and I've gained over 10 lbs since that started! I've been doing worse since I made the decision to have the surgery, and it scares me to death. I worry this means I will fail at the weight loss after the surgery. I worry this means I'm not ready emotionally, and I worry that I will let my family down.
I'm currently lucky (knock on wood) that I have no health problems related to my weight. I know I'm not going to stay that lucky for much longer. My husband and I met a little later in life than some, and had our children later than most. I feel like I made a commitment when we had them that I need to live a long life and not orphan them at a young age. I'm not going to do that if I don't get this under control.
I've decided to start this blog to help me be more accountable. I'm going to start on a new plan TOMORROW, and hopefully this blog will help me stick to it. I hope some of you will help me on this journey. I feel very alone and frightened. I want to feel hopefully. Maybe tomorrow some hope will come for me.
Much love.
Kristal
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