StrongMommy

Hi. My name is Kristal and I'm a mommy and a wife. I'm 41 years old and I've been heavy for over 20 years now. I have a beautiful family and a lot to live for... so I want to start living! I feel like I spend most of my days just getting through the day. I take care of the kids (they are 2 and almost 4) and just kill time until my husband gets home. I'm lonely, but it's a self imposed loneliness because I don't feel like getting out and seeing anyone. I'm in a loving marriage and have the most supportive husband, but I'm still not happy. It all boils down to my weight. Sometimes I just get so upset with myself. I know better, but I still eat the wrong things. I know better, but I still don't get up and move. I know better, but I still tear myself down emotionally. I know better, but I'm still almost 300 lbs. because at the end of the day it doesn't seem to matter that I know better... I'm not doing better! I'm hoping to have surgery by the end of the year. I started my 6 mo supervised diet with my PCP in June, and I've gained over 10 lbs since that started! I've been doing worse since I made the decision to have the surgery, and it scares me to death. I worry this means I will fail at the weight loss after the surgery. I worry this means I'm not ready emotionally, and I worry that I will let my family down. I'm currently lucky (knock on wood) that I have no health problems related to my weight. I know I'm not going to stay that lucky for much longer. My husband and I met a little later in life than some, and had our children later than most. I feel like I made a commitment when we had them that I need to live a long life and not orphan them at a young age. I'm not going to do that if I don't get this under control. I've decided to start this blog to help me be more accountable. I'm going to start on a new plan TOMORROW, and hopefully this blog will help me stick to it. I hope some of you will help me on this journey. I feel very alone and frightened. I want to feel hopefully. Maybe tomorrow some hope will come for me. Much love. Kristal

Thank you all for your replies. These are wonderful suggestions and advice. I just haven't known where to start! My therapist has been out of town for a couple of months now, and I think that has been a problem for me too. My hubby and I are going to sit down tonight and plan out of meals for the next week and go shopping together this weekend. That should help me out a lot. He is my biggest fan and wants me to be successful. Thanks again! I look forward to getting to know you all better. Kristal

Hi. I've started the 6 mo pre-op appts with my PCP to get ready for surgery. I will admit here that I feel like I've been on a binge every since I made that appt. I know I need to make changes to how I think about food and how I eat to help me be a successful sleever. ANY advice on changes I should be working on now would be greatly appreciated! I committed to my dr to make the following changes this first month: 1. Give up all sodas (this hasn't been hard at all because I only drank 1-2 a week) 2. Stop drinking Water during meals. THIS HAS BEEN VERY DIFFICULT! 3. Chew my food 20-30 times each bit. THIS HASN'T HAPPENED AT ALL! Hard to chew a lot on a binge! Has anyone else found themselves on a binge when they first make this decision? I'm scared it means I'm not ready and I'm going to fail. My husband is very supportive of me, but I know he worries that I'm going to go through all of this and either not lose weight or eventually gain it back. I want to make the right changes and be successful! Kristal

I have that, and read it again now. I think what is going on with me is my doctor is just starting out his practice and doesn't have all those steps set up to do the 3 month program. He has done a lot of surgeries before, but just moved to Oklahoma to start up a practice at our HCA hospital. I will just focus on these 6 months to make the changes I need to be successful. I hope you have a wonderful experience. I've been very pleased over the years with our insurance through HCA. I'm looking forward to hearing how your approval process goes. Kristal

Thank you!

Hi. I also have Aetna HCA, but I have to wait 6 months. I just had my first appt with my surgeon, and my first appt with my PCP to start my supervised weight loss. I meet again with my surgeon in October, and he will refer me to the nut and for the psych eval. I'm hoping I can get my surgery in December, but I don't know yet. I'm really curious about how you are able to do 3 months. I even talked to the insurance and their standard policy is 6 months. I wonder if it's just a different policy. Good luck to you! I was so happy when my husband's hospital started doing them again. For a long time if you had HCA in Oklahoma you had to go out of state for the surgery. I'm excited I can have it here now.

Hi. I've been reading the boards for a couple of weeks now, and thought it was time to introduce myself. My name is Kristal, and I've started the process of weight loss surgery. I met with my surgeon last week, and had my first appt with my PCP yesterday to start my 6mo supervised diet. I'm hoping to use this 6mos to focus on the habit changes I will need to make to be successful with my sleeve. My goals for this first month are 1.) to stop drinking anything at least 30 minutes before I eat and not drink anything until 30 minutes after I'm done, 2.) give up sodas (this won't be very hard because I normally only have 1-2 a week anyway), 3.) start chewing my food 20 times. I'm 41 years old and have 2 young children. My son will be 2 in a week, and my daughter is 3 1/2. The only health problems I currently have because of my weight is severe sleep apnea. It's so bad that I had to have surgery earlier this year to try and correct some issues so I could even use the machine. The machine was going to be set so high because my apnea was so bad that it wasn't going to work for me. That surgery was terrible and I wish now I had looked into the sleeve first, but nothing I can do about that now. I'm almost 300 lbs and I want to live to see my children grow up. I know it's just a matter of time before I start to have all the health problems that come along with my weight, and I'm already an older mom, so I have to do ALL I can do to be there to see my children grown. Any advice or guidance you can give me on how to use this 6 months fully to help me be successful is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading my post. Kristal