Today started out wonderfully. I have been in an annoying stall for weeks and weeks, and I finally saw the numbers on the scale going down! It's nothing major, but I was pretty excited. Then, I took the kids I babysit to a Water park. Bad idea.
My current weight is 328 (down from 383 in 2.5 months), and on the very first slide we went to, a huge sign said that the weight maximum for a single tube was 250, and the max for a double was 400. Single tube was obviously out, so I was forced to take the younger girl that I was with and go with her, and im pretty sure we even went over that 400 limit. I spent the whole time praying that the tube wouldn't pop. That was bad, but not the end of my shame. Then on the next ride, the two girls insisted on going together, so I was like, whatever, Im going on the single tube. No bueno. The sign said that exceeding the weight limit creates dangerous speeds and velocity on the curvy, open slide, and I found that out the hard way. There were LOTS of close calls as far as me falling over the edge of the sharp turns or going too fast around the curves. When I exited the attraction, a manager and lifeguard came over to me and asked if I was okay because at one bend, they saw 80% of my body fly over the edge. If I had fallen out, it would have been a 30 foot drop onto concrete. So I decided not to risk my life anymore. I figured the lazy river would be fine...except I couldnt get onto the tube! You have to stand in waist deep water and "gently hop" onto the tube, but I couldnt lift my massive body weight up out of the water onto the float. It was humiliating. I looked like a fish flopping around on the deck of a boat. After holding up the line for 1.5 minutes (which is a LONG time to hold up a line at an amusement park trying to get onto a raft) I had to ask 2 men to hold the tube steady while I tried to hop on. Embarrassing.
A lot of times during this process, I've felt like I take one step forward, 2 steps back. I finally get my weight dropping a little, then I'm brutally reminded that I am still FAR from my goal and FAR from being a "normal" person. I'm trying to keep positive, but some days is easier than others. Thanks for letting me share/vent!