All of your stories are heartbreaking and yet so inspiring at the same time. I have mentioned on this forum several times, that heavy people are some of the strongest, bravest people I have ever met not only because of the prejudices and cruelty we face each day as heavy people but because I am all too aware of the trauma that many of us have gone through that helped form our poisonous relationship with food. I too suffered through horrible things as a child and I suppose throughout my life so far. For a long time those things drove me to be a perfectionist and over achiever, except where food was concerned. Food was my friend, it reminded me of some of the best times in my life vs the ugly that was rattling around in my head. I was sad, I ate. I was happy, I ate. I was mad, I ate. I was stressed, I ate. See the common theme there. It wasn't until my miracle was born almost 5 years ago that I really began to examine myself, my thoughts, everything. It took me almost 5 years and a couple of scary close calls in the er to really shake me and wake me up that if I didn't change, really change, I wouldn't be around to see my daughter grow up or grow old with my husband. I had gotten pcos, high blood pressure, pre-diabetes and most recently fibromyalgia and autoimmune issues yet all of this and all the meds didn't wake me up to what I was doing... Slowly killing myself. It was the accumulation of all these things and also the grace of God that finally made me see things clearly for the first time in 37 years. Whether I end up having this surgery or not... I know things will be different this time and I will get to my goal either way! Thanks for letting me share my story!